Working It Out (2 page)

Affton had that damn client meeting at lunch, but he could take the rest of the afternoon off, head over there when his lunch was done and just... Well, if Luke wasn't there when he arrived, he had plenty of stuff he could work on while he drank coffee and waited.

Armed with a plan, Affton felt a lot better.

At least that's what he kept telling himself.

* * * *

Luke's head hurt. He'd worked on animations all night, napped for a couple of hours in the morning and then got back to it, or tried to. Shit. He knew better. All he could think about was Affie.

He didn't know what to do. Affton had been surprised, shocked. Honestly, truly shocked, and Luke had to admit he believed it. He'd still been high when he'd left, still confused and dizzy and then he'd gone from high to scared. Scared to terrified. Terrified to sick. It hadn't been until three consecutive HIV tests had come back negative that he could even breathe normally.

He'd gone to his folks and stayed for almost a year before they gently and carefully booted him out, telling him he had to live a real life, not hide in their basement like a troll. Luke guessed they'd been right.

Affton... God, the man looked so good. Like he was thriving. Luke bet the man had someone. Someone pretty and inviting who could go to parties and not be... Boring. A geek. A tradable commodity.

His stomach clenched and he shook his head. People like him were meant to live in virtual worlds, not in the same worlds Affie did.

He hadn't realized how much he still loved the man, not until he'd seen Affie again. The tall, lean body, those blue eyes. Affton was still the hottest, most desirable man he'd ever seen.

Luke's head pounded and he headed to the coffeepot, sighing as he belatedly remembered he was out of coffee beans. Again.

Maybe it would be good to get out. Maybe if he settled in at the Beanery, he could get some work done and not think about Affie for a few hours. If nothing else, he could watch the rain and spend some quality time with a hazelnut latte.

It was nearly four by the time he was out the door. Maybe he'd have a muffin or even something sticky and sweet, too.

He pulled his raincoat up, covering his head and ducked into the little, warm store. He put in his order at the counter and looked around to see if any of the comfy chairs in the back were empty.

What he didn't see was an empty chair. What he saw was Affie. Right there, in his coffee shop, those blue eyes looking right at him.

This was totally not fair.

* * * *

Affton had been sitting and watching, pretending to work, for nearly three hours before his patience paid off. There was Luke, looking like he hadn't slept at all, and wearing the baggiest clothes Affton had ever seen. He'd be damned if Luke didn't still look good enough to eat. He loved the dark eyes, the longish black hair, the pale skin. Luke was fine, lovely.

His whole body tightened, an ache that he thought he'd finally left behind settling in the pit of his belly.

Luke got his coffee and a huge, gooey mass of pastry, coming to sit down at his table.

Affton took a breath, tension he hadn't realized he'd been carrying easing a little. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to chase you down again."

"I'm sorry. It was a little overwhelming."

"It doesn't feel right, having you apologize after what happened." He took another deep breath and leaned in. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what? At best, I'd just..." Luke shook his head. "At worst, you let them. I couldn't."

"How could you believe I'd have anything to do with something like... Did they..." He needed another deep breath. "What did they do to you?"

Luke shook his head. "I didn't. I mean, I didn't want to. I can't make you understand, I don't think. I was drugged. That date rape drug. Everything was...messed up."

He reached out for Luke's hand, needing to touch, to offer some sort of comfort.

Luke looked at him. "You look good."

"You still think so?"

Luke nodded, drank his coffee. "You do."

"You're changing the subject."

"Am I?"

Affton nodded. "Yeah. We were talking about what happened to you."

"I don't want to talk about it. It's over. That's the important part."

"So is the running." Affton wouldn't let Luke run away from him again, he couldn't.

"Pardon me?" God, look at those beautiful, dark eyes.

"No more running away from me. You did it four years ago. You did it last night. No more."

"You have a life that has nothing to do with me. It's working for you."

Is that what Luke thought? Affton guessed that meant he pretty much had everyone buying his perfect life image. "There's never been anyone else." How could there have been? Luke was the love of his life.

"Me either."

"I thought I'd gotten over you." He really had--or at least gotten over the hurt, over the way he ached. Then he'd seen Luke again.

"You need to. I don't think I'm lover material anymore and you're an executive. You need arm candy."

"Arm candy." Was that what Luke thought he'd been to Affton. "You realize you were never arm candy to me, right? You were my lover, my partner."

Luke nodded. "I thought I was. I thought a lot of things."

"I wish you'd talked to me." For four years he'd thought... He hadn't known what to think. He hadn't known what he'd done to drive Luke away.

"I couldn't."

"You could have." He would have protected Luke, gone after the assholes who'd done this.

Luke shook his head. "I was scared, ashamed. Sick." Luke pushed the Danish away. "I need to go."

"No, please. Not without promising me you'll let me take you out to dinner." He couldn't let Luke just walk away again, not without trying to... Hell, he didn't know. Make it up to the man? Something. "Anywhere you want, ba-- Luke. Anywhere."

"I don't know if I can."

Affton noted that Luke didn't get up, didn't leave.

"Of course you can." He wasn't taking no as an answer.

"What do you want? An apology? I had to leave."

"I want to see you again." He did.

"Why?"

"Because I still have feelings for you." Big, huge feelings that it turned out hadn't gone away, but had been deeply buried.

"You can't. It's been four years. You hate me."

"Are you trying to convince me or you?" He'd been hurt, confused, but he'd never hated Luke.

"I don't know." Luke looked almost bruised and Affton just wanted to hold the man, cradle him and protect him. "I don't hate you, baby. I don't." He stroked his fingers over Luke's knuckles. He could feel the man's bones, like a little bird's, under his skin. "Did you stop eating altogether?"

"What?" There was a hint of that energy, that curiosity that he'd fallen in love with.

"Skin and bones, baby. There's nothing to you."

"I've never been big." No. No, but Luke had been substantial.

"You were more than just skin and bones, though." He let his fingers slide up higher.

"It's been a hard few years and I needed to rebuild things."

"I'd like to have built things with you."

Luke pulled away. "Your friends raped me, Affie. Your work buddies took me into the basement and touched me, told me you'd brought me to them as a present. Did you even look for me that night?"

Pain went through him at hearing it laid out flat like that and his breath caught in his throat. "You sent me a text telling me you'd gone home. And then you ran away--you never gave me a chance to know what happened, to beat them to a pulp for you."

Luke shrugged, wouldn't meet his eyes. "All I could hear that night was their voices. Them laughing."

"I still can't believe you thought I'd do that to you." He wouldn't even do that to an enemy, let alone his lover.

"You don't understand. It was huge."

"Of course it was huge--I do get that. But we were supposed to be there for each other." He didn't want to berate Luke, because his hurt was nothing compared to Luke's, but he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"These were people you worked with. Friends of yours. You never wondered what happened? Did you ask them?"

"Did I ask them what? I didn't know there was a problem!"

"You knew that I didn't do well at parties. You knew them!" Luke stared at him. "How do you know someone and not know they're evil?"

He shook his head. "I don't know."

"I don't either."

He squeezed Luke's hand. "Can we start over?"

"How? How do you start over from this?"

"I still love you." He was not going to just let go. He wasn't.

"You don't still know me."

"Which is why we should go out to dinner."

Luke chuckled softly. "We have a pastry here."

"I suppose it's a start."

"Dessert first, huh?" They'd spent a hundred evenings together in bed, sharing a decadent dessert, saying that.

He felt his smile coming from deep inside.

Luke cut the pastry in half, offered him the bigger side.

"See? You do still care for me." He gave Luke a wink.

Luke pinked, shrugged. "They're good here."

He took a bite of the sticky bun, the sweet filling his mouth with doughy goodness. Crunchy, sweet, cinnamony. Yummy. He held Luke's gaze as he took another bite. Luke managed a gentle, soft smile.

They stared at each other for a long moment and then he nodded at the treat in Luke's hand. "Eat, baby."

Luke nibbled, picking the raisins out and eating them separately. He chuckled. He used to do that, feed Luke all the raisins in any dessert they shared.

"What? I like the raisins best."

"I know." He picked one of out of his half and offered it over.

"Thank you." Luke ate it, seeming to actually relax a little bit.

He offered over another one, holding this one right up to Luke's lips. Luke opened for him, the action natural, easy. He slipped the raisin in, his finger lingering on Luke's lower lip. Luke stopped breathing, stared at him.

He licked his own lips, finger sliding in along Luke's tongue. Luke's lips closed around his finger, the barest suction making him shiver. He couldn't have stopped his low groan if he'd tried.

Luke leaned back, his finger popping free.

"I do love the way you eat dessert, baby." His voice had gone all husky.

"I can't get it up anymore. I don't. You should know that."

His heart broke for Luke. "Because of what happened?"

"Yeah. Yeah. I just. You should know. I'm not like, lover material."

"Stop trying to scare me off, Luke. I still want to take you to dinner." He wasn't giving up, wasn't going to walk away from Luke, no matter how much the man pushed him to.

"Can we have Italian?"

He made a show of rolling his eyes, but agreed readily enough. Luke adored Italian beyond what was reasonable. "We can."

"Then we can have dinner."

"You have a place you like or that you've always wanted to try?" He wanted to make things up to Luke. And he wanted to see if the love he was feeling was real.

"There's a tiny little place around the corner. Mario's. They have a butternut squash ravioli..."

"I'd like to watch you eat that." While he could take or leave Italian, he'd always loved watching Luke eat it.

"It's good. They have a nice steak for you."

"Maybe I'm a vegetarian now," he teased.

"Then they have a nice eggplant parm."

He couldn't keep from making a gag face. Eggplant sucked. Luke's laugh rang out, and everything in him melted. The man should always look and sound like that. Always.

Luke ate a bite of icing. "Did the image work for your client?"

"Yeah, he was thrilled." He raised his hands to ward off any comments. "All your protests were right, but they had their minds made up when they came in on this campaign."

"Yeah, whatever. I do animation."

"You're good at it, too. I'm not surprised Fillian hired you." He wasn't just blowing smoke up Luke's ass, either.

"Daniel hired me. He's a good guy."

"I don't know him well, but I'm glad our paths crossed again." So unbelievably grateful it had happened.

"He promised me we wouldn't cross paths. I would see you sometimes, though."

"He shouldn't have promised you that--he has no control over my movements."

"I work from home a lot."

"And the one day you didn't, I walked in to the graphics department for the first time ever... Destiny?"

"Fate? I don't know. God has an evil sense of humor."

"Or maybe destiny is giving us a second chance." Nobody from the office had been at that last party he and Luke had attended, from what Affton could remember, which was good--he'd lose his job for kicking a fellow employee's ass. Because he was going to do exactly that when he found out who.

"Maybe. You don't have a partner?"

Affton shook his head. "I've been pretty focused on my career." Once burned and twice shy certainly fit his feelings on the matter.

"You've done well for yourself." Luke reached for him, fingers on his wrist.

He turned his hand so their fingers could slide together. "It was easier to simply focus on work."

"I'm sorry. I was...an idiot."

He shook his head. "Not an idiot, baby. I just wish you'd trusted me enough to know they'd lied about my involvement. Or that you'd confronted me about it."

"I couldn't. I was scared."

He squeezed Luke's hand. "I'm so sorry, baby."

"I'm okay now. I just... I'm careful." Luke took a deep breath. "Do you want another coffee?"

"Sure." Anything to keep Luke around a little longer.

"Me, too. My treat." Luke stood, the tiny body swimming in the too-huge clothes.

He remembered what Luke's ass looked like in a tight pair of jeans and it made him lick his lips. He could remember Luke dancing, long hair loose and down, body swaying for him. He closed his eyes and took a breath, trying to control his libido, which was threatening to take off on him.

Luke had been clear--the man wasn't ready for even the mention of that. They needed to learn about each other again. He thought about someone hurting Luke and his prick went back down right away.