Working It Out (27 page)

 At some point during her
speech, Seth’s smile vanished, replaced with a mixture of confusion and worry.
“No, I don’t have a death wish.”

“Then why all of this?”
Grace threw up her hands then gestured toward the airplane hanger. “Is it
really to keep Mike’s memory alive? Because there are a whole lot of other ways
to do that.”

Now Seth looked really
confused, not to mention upset. “What are you talking about?”

Realizing she’d probably
sounded incredibly callous and rude—not to mention presumptuous—Grace bit her
lip. She suddenly felt like she didn’t know anything—about him or anything
else. Why were relationships so hard sometimes? Why couldn’t you just find the
right person and automatically be on the same wavelength?

Grace sighed and glanced
out the passenger window, unable to look at Seth any longer. “Lanna told me
about you and Mike and how this extreme sports thing all got started. I just
assumed that’s why you kept at it—to keep his memory alive.” The words sounded
so wrong now, as though Grace had forced herself into a deeply personal part of
his life that he might not be ready to share with her.

Seth closed his eyes and let
his head flop against the back of his headrest, saying nothing. Moments passed
as an uncomfortable silence engulfed the car and sucked some of the oxygen from
it. Grace suddenly felt the need to roll down a window, but her fingers stayed
clasped tightly together on her lap.

“Yes, Mike’s diagnosis was
how it all got started,” Seth finally said. “And I’ll admit that after he died,
I kept it up partly because of him. But I also do ‘these things’ as you call
them because I like them. Because I love the feeling that comes from staring
fear in the face and saying, ‘Bring it on.’ Life has so much to offer, and I want
to experience it all.”

Grace swallowed, still
staring out the window. When he said nothing more, she asked, “And if I don’t?”

 “Then you don’t.” Seth
shifted positions and reached for her hand, holding it between them and
coercing her to look at him. “Grace, if you didn’t want to do all of this
stuff, why didn’t you say so?”

“Because it’s who you are,
and I—” She really had no idea how to finish that sentence.

“Exactly,” said Seth.
“It’s who
I
am. But it doesn’t have to be who you are. You’re beautiful,
strong, independent, and intelligent. You make me laugh, you’re incredibly fun
to tease, and you’re adventurous. Those are all reasons that I love you—reasons
that aren’t going away because you don’t want to launch yourself out of a plane
or scale a mountain. We have plenty of other things in common.”

 “I know,” Grace said, not
feeling at all appeased. While she appreciated his words, she also felt like
he’d sort of missed the point. It wasn’t about embracing each other’s
differences or Grace not wanting to participate in extreme sports. It was about
her not wanting
him
to keep risking his neck. Although he said he didn’t
have a death wish, his actions proved otherwise.

But was it fair to ask
Seth to change? If he didn’t like that Grace stayed up way too late researching
new studies and therapies or that she loved apples and peanut butter—something
Seth detested—would it be fair for him to ask her to give those things up?
Would he even consider it?

No, because Seth accepted
her as is, lock, stock, and barrel. He didn’t want to change Grace any more
than he wanted to change himself.

Grace laced her fingers
through his, reminding herself yet again that she and Seth were a good match.
She loved him, and he loved her. In only a month, they would be married, and if
Grace wanted to walk down that aisle with complete confidence, she needed to
learn to be as accepting of him as he was of her.

Maybe if Grace wasn’t with
him when he jumped out of planes or scaled rocky cliffs, she wouldn’t worry.

Maybe.

“I
nvitations
sealed, addressed
, and stamped,” Lanna announced, sliding the last one
into the box Grace would drop off at the post office on her way back home from
the after school center. Lanna had offered the space so they could spread out
and stay organized, and Grace had gratefully accepted. They’d met earlier that
Saturday morning, and were able to pound out the invitations in only a matter
of hours.

Seth had planned on
helping, but Grace let him off the hook with a “thanks, but no thanks.” His
handwriting was deplorable, so she wasn’t about to let him anywhere near the
envelopes. Not the least bit put out, Seth didn’t waste any time rounding up
some friends to go mountain biking. Alec included. Her brother had finally
purchased a wheelchair mountain bike and couldn’t wait to try it out.

As Grace stuffed the extra
invitations and envelopes in a box, her mind wandered in Seth’s direction. Had
Seth gone over his handlebars again? Had Alec? What about Owen and Garrett?
Were they as care-for-nothing as Seth could be?

An anxious feeling settled
in Grace’s stomach. Hopefully, Seth would call soon to let her know they were
okay so she could stop worrying about them.

She glanced at Lanna, who
didn’t look the least bit concerned. It wasn’t fair. “Aren’t you worried?” Grace
blurted. “About Alec mountain biking, I mean?”

Lanna tossed the last of
the pens in her drawer and shut it. She shook her head. “I’m actually excited
for him. Every time he tries something new that’s out of his comfort zone, something
good happens to him. He’s happier, which makes me happier.” She shrugged and
leaned against her desk. “Besides, his skiing accident made him realize he’s
human, so I know he’ll be careful. Seth, on the other hand . . .” Lanna wiggled
her eyebrows in a teasing way.

“Which is exactly why I’m
worried.” Grace didn’t see the humor. Lanna was right. Seth wasn’t nearly as cautious,
and the reminder only made her more anxious. She frowned. “He’s so reckless
sometimes, and I keep picturing him getting thrown from his bike and hurting
himself. I wish I could be more like you and not let get it get to me, but I
can’t make myself stop.”

Lanna’s expression turned
sympathetic. “When I was younger, my mom had this saying framed on our wall. It
said, ‘Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t
get you anywhere.’ For some reason, even as a little girl, I liked it. After
they passed away in a car accident, whenever I’d start to worry about what
would happen to me and Mike, I’d remember that. It’s helped me so many times.”

 Lanna looked like she was
about to say something more, but the ringing of Grace’s phone interrupted them.
Grace snatched it from her purse and answered without looking at the caller ID.

“Seth?” she said, needing
to hear his voice.

“Grace, it’s Alec.”

“Alec?” Grace’s forehead
crinkled. What was he doing calling her? Had he meant to call Lanna instead?

“Something’s happened,”
Alec said. “There was this jump, and Seth took it, and—Grace, he’s hurt. I’m
not sure how bad. We’re waiting for the ambulance now.”

“Ambulance?” The word came
out as a hoarse whisper. They’d called an ambulance, which meant that no one
dared to move Seth. Which also meant they had to be worried about a serious
injury.

 Once again, it was as if Grace
was transported to the bottom of that ski run, watching Alec get loaded onto a
bright orange sled because he wasn’t allowed to move either.

“Tell me he’s okay, Alec.
Please,” Grace pleaded.

“He took a bad fall,” said
Alec. “He’s unconscious right now, which is why we don’t want to move him.”

Grace’s stomach tied
itself into knot after knot after knot. Seth was supposed to be on his way
home. Safe. Not injured and unconscious. “Where are you? I’m coming right now.”

 “The ambulance will get
here before you.” He paused. “I think I hear the siren now. I’ll call you as
soon as I know which hospital they’re taking him to.”

“Alec . . .” Grace
couldn’t hang up, not until she knew Seth would be okay. Not until she heard
his voice.

“I’m sorry,” Alec said. “I’ve
gotta go. I’ll promise I’ll call you soon.”

The line went dead. Not
knowing what else to do, Grace dropped to the nearest seat, clutching the phone
with shaking hands. Unconscious. Ambulance. Hospital. The words boomed in her
mind like a loud thunderstorm.

Lanna sank down beside her
and grabbed hold of her hands. “What happened?”

“Seth’s hurt and
unconscious,” Grace managed to say. “They had to call an ambulance.”

Worry knitted Lanna’s brow
as her fingers tightened around Grace’s. “He’s going to be okay.”

Don’t say that!
she wanted to shout. But it was too late. The words
were already out and now hung in the air like a bad omen.

Grace’s mother had told
her the same thing that day in the hospital when they were waiting for news of
Alec. But her brother had been far from okay, and now anytime Grace heard those
words, it did everything
but
comfort her.

Grace shot Lanna a frustrated
look, as though she’d just jinxed Seth. “You don’t know that. Nobody does.”
Lanna could tell Grace over and over again that it was useless to worry, but
how could she not when Seth was lying on some mountain somewhere, broken and
bleeding?

Lanna sighed and tilted
her head to the side. “You’re right, I don’t. Maybe he’ll walk away from today
just fine, or maybe he’ll end up in a wheelchair like Alec.” She placed her
hand on Grace’s. “Either way, he’s still breathing and still alive. In that
respect, he
will
be okay.”

The words sounded like
fingernails on a chalkboard. She pulled her hand free. “You don’t get it,” she
said. “You’ve only seen the better side of Alec. You weren’t there after his
accident. You didn’t have to be the girlfriend who got dumped or the family he
tried and tried to push away. For ten years I had to stand by and watch him
shrink away from life, knowing there was nothing I could do about it. Ten
years! Do you have any idea what that’s like?”

Grace crumpled, dropping
her forehead to her palms as the worst of her fears came to the forefront. Seth,
no longer smiling. Seth, shutting the blinds on the world and on life. Seth,
pushing her away the way Alec had done to his high-school girlfriend. The most
difficult times during the past ten years came rushing back, torturing her mind
with one painful reminder after another.

Grace couldn’t do it
again, especially not with Seth. She wasn’t strong enough to stand by and watch
him go through that.

A sob escaped, and Lanna’s
arm came around her, rubbing up and down her back. “I’m so sorry, Grace. I
didn’t realize.”

Grace’s phone rang again,
making her jump. Like a hot potato, she tossed it at Lanna, knowing she was too
much of a basket case to take the call.

A short conversation
later, Lanna hung up and tugged Grace’s arm. “He’s awake now. They’re taking
him to Valley General on the other side of town. Let’s go.”

 A car ride had never
lasted so long—not even the cross-country trip Grace had taken when she’d moved
to Seattle. Every stop light turned red at the wrong time and every car ahead
of them drove too slow. What was going on with Seth? Why hadn’t Alec called again?
They had to be at the hospital by now. They had to know
something
.

Please let him be okay,
please let him be okay.
Over and over
she prayed.

Finally, when Grace
couldn’t stand it anymore, she grabbed her phone and dialed Alec’s number. He
didn’t answer.

“They’ll call when they
know something,” Lanna said quietly. “Alec knows how worried we are.”

We. The word served as a
rude awakening. Of course Lanna would be just as anxious as Grace. How could
she have been so rude before? Fighting back more tears, Grace glanced out the
window and watched the buildings pass slowly by.

“I’m sorry,” she said
finally. “About before. I’m just such a mess right now, and I didn’t mean to
take it out on you.”

“I know.” Lanna squeezed
her hand, showing she wasn’t upset or offended. “We’re going to get through
this.”

Grace nodded, wishing the
driver in front of them would learn how to use his gas pedal.

By the time they arrived
at the hospital, the sun was high overhead. Grace slammed the car door shut and
raced for the emergency room doors. They still hadn’t heard anything from Alec.

Inside, the receptionist
asked them to take a seat while she checked Seth’s records to see where he was
and if he was allowed visitors. Grace paced the waiting room and dialed Alec’s
phone once again. This time he answered.

“I still don’t have much
to tell you,” Alec said without preamble. “Seth’s awake and coherent. He wants
to talk to you, but he’s speaking with a nurse right now. We’re in one of the
ER rooms, but I’m not sure which one. The doctor says he can’t move until
they’ve read the results of the x-rays. Oh wait, here’s the doctor now. Gotta
go.”