Works of Ivan Turgenev (Illustrated) (409 page)

BELIAYEV. Natalya Petrovna, for God’s sake, I assure you . . .

NATALYA PETROVNA
[in a changed voice].
Alexey Nikolaitch. If I did not know you are an honest man, and incapable of deceit, God knows what I should think. I might regret having spoken. But I trust you. I don’t want to hide my feelings from you; I am grateful for what you have just said. Now I know why we have not been friends. ... So it was nothing in me myself that repelled you. . . . Only my position. . . .
[Breaks off.]
It’s all for the best, of course . . . but now it will be easier for me to part from you. . . . Good - bye.
[Is about to go out.]

BELIAYEV
[after a pause].
Natalya Petrovna, I know that it’s impossible for me to stay here . . . but I can’t tell you what’s going on in me. You love me. . . . I’m positively terrified to utter those words . . . it’s all so new to me ... it seems as though I’m seeing you for the first time, hearing you for the first time, but I feel one thing, I must go. ... I feel I can’t answer for anything. . . .

NATALYA PETROVNA
[in a faint voice].
Yes, Beliayev, you must go.... Now after what you have said, you can go. . . . And can it be really, in spite of all I have done. . . . Oh, believe me, if I had had the remotest suspicion of all you have just told me, that confession would have died in me, Beliayev. ... I only meant to put an end to all misunderstandings, I meant to expiate, to punish myself, I meant to cut the last thread. If I could have imagined. . . .
[Hides her face.]

BELIAYEV. I do believe you, Natalya Petrovna, I do. And I, too ... a quarter of an hour ago . . . could I have imagined. . . . It’s only to - day, during our interview before dinner that I felt for the first time something extraordinary, incredible, as though a hand had squeezed my heart, and such a burning ache. ... It is true that before then I had, more or less, avoided you and even not liked you particularly, but when you told me to - day that Vera Alexandrovna fancied . . .
[Breaks off.]

NATALYA PETROVNA
[with an involuntary smile of happiness on her lips].
Hush, hush, Beliayev; we mustn’t think of that. We must not forget that we are speaking to each other for the last time . . . that you are going to - morrow. . . .

BELIAYEV. Oh yes! I’ll go to - morrow! Now I can go. ... All this will pass. . . . You see I don’t want to exaggerate. . . . I’m going ... to take what God gives! I shall take with me a memory, I shall never forget that you cared for me. . . . But how was it I didn’t know you till now? Here you are looking at me now. . . . Can I have ever tried to avoid your eyes? . . . Can I ever have felt shy with you?

NATALYA PETROVNA
[with a smile].
You said just now that you’re afraid of me.

BELIAYEV. Did I?
[A pause.]
Really.... I wonder at myself. ... Is it I, I talking so boldly to you? I don’t know myself.

NATALYA PETROVNA. And you’re not deceiving yourself?

BELIAYEV. How?

NATALYA PETROVNA. In thinking that you . . .
[Shuddering.]
Oh? good God, what am I doing? . . . Beliayev. . . . Help me. . . . No woman has ever been in such a position. It’s more than I can bear indeed. . . . Perhaps it’s for the best, everything is ended at once; but anyway, we have come to know each other. . . . Give me your hand and good - bye for ever.

BELIAYEV
[takes her hand],
Natalya Petrovna ... I don’t know what to say at parting . . . my heart is so full. God give you. . . .
[Breaks off and presses her hand to
his lips.]
Good - bye.
[Is about to go out by door into garden.]

NATALYA PETROVNA
[looking after him].
Beliayev.. ..

BELIAYEV
[turning].
Natalya Petrovna. . . .

NATALYA PETROVNA
[pausingfor some time, then in a weak voice].
Stay. . . .

BELIAYEV. What?

NATALYA PETROVNA. Stay, and may God be our judge!
[She hides her head in her hands.]

BELIAYEV
[goes swiftly to her and holds out his hands to her].
Natalya Petrovna. . . .
[At that instant the garden door opens and
RAKITIN
appears in the doorway. He gazes at them for some time, then goes suddenly up to them.]

RAKITIN
[in a loud voice’].
They are looking for you everywhere, Natalya Petrovna. . . . [NATALYA PETROVNA
and
BELIAYEV
look round.]

NATALYA PETROVNA
[taking her hands from her face and seeming to come to herself].
Ah, it’s you. . . . Who is looking for me? [BELIAYEV
in confusion bows to
NATALYA PETROVNA
and is going out.]
Are you going, Alexey Nikolaitch? . . . Don’t forget, you know what. . . .
[He bows to her a second time and goes out into the garden.]

RAKITIN. Arkady is looking for you. ... I must say I didn’t expect to find you here . . . but as I passed by ...

NATALYA PETROVNA
[with a smile’].
You heard our voices. ... I met Alexey Nikolaitch here and have had a complete explanation with him. . . . To - day seems a day of explanations; but now we can go into the house. . . .
[Goes towards door into corridor.,]

RAKITIN
[with some emotion].
May I ask . . . what decision?

NATALYA PETROVNA
[affecting surprise].
Decision? . . . I don’t understand you.

RAKITIN
[after a long pause, sadly].
If that’s so, I understand.

NATALYA PETROVNA. Well, there it is.... Mysterious hints again! Oh, well, I have spoken to him and now everything is set right. ... It was all nonsense, exaggeration. . . . All you and I talked about was childish. It must be forgotten now.

RAKITIN. I am not asking you for explanations, Natalya Petrovna.

NATALYA PETROVNA
[with forced ease].
What on earth was it I wanted to say to you. ... I don’t remember. Never mind. Let us go. It’s all at an end . . . it’s over.

RAKITIN
[looking at her intently].
Yes, it’s all at an end. How vexed you must be with yourself now ... for your openness this morning.
[She turns away.]

NATALYA PETROVNA. Rakitin. . . .
[He glances at her again; she obviously does not know what to say.]
You’ve not spoken to Arkady yet?

RAKITIN. No ... I haven’t thought of anything yet.... You see I must make up some story. . , .

NATALYA PETROVNA. How insufferable it is! What do they want of me? I’m followed about at every step I take. Rakitin, I’m really conscience - stricken you should have . . .

RAKITIN. Oh, Natalya Petrovna, pray don’t distress yourself. . . . Why, it’s all in the natural order of things. But how obviously this is Mr. Beliayev’s first experience! Why was he so embarrassed, why did he take to flight? . . . But with time ...
[In an undertone]
you will both learn to keep up appearances. . . .
[Aloud.]
Let us go.

[NATALYA PETROVNA
is about to go up to him but stops short. At that instant
ISLAYEV’S
voice is heard in the garden:
‘He went in here, you say?’
and then
ISLAYEV
and
SHPIGELSKY
come in.]

ISLAYEV. To be sure . . . here he is. Well, well, well! And Natalya Petrovna too!
[Going up to her.]
How’s this? The continuation of this morning’s talk? It’s evidently an important matter.

RAKITIN. I met Natalya Petrovna here as I walked.

ISLAYEV. Met her?
[Looking round.]
A queer place for a walk!

NATALYA PETROVNA. Well, you’ve walked in, too. . .

ISLAYEV. I came in because . . .
[Breaks off.]

NATALYA PETROVNA. You were looking for me?

ISLAYEV
[after a pause].
Yes -
 
- I was looking for you. Won’t you come into the house? Tea’s ready. It will soon be dark.

NATALYA PETROVNA
[taking his arm].
Come along.

ISLAYEV
[looking round].
This place might be turned into two good rooms for the gardeners -
 
- or another servants’ hall -
 
- don’t you think, Shpigelsky?

SHPIGELSKY. To be sure it could.

ISLAYEV. Let us go by the garden, Natasha.
[Goes towards the garden door. Throughout the scene he has not once looked at
RAKITIN.
In the doorway he turns half round.’]
Well, gentlemen. Let us go in to tea.

[Goes out with
NATALYA PETROVNA.]

SHPIGELSKY
[to
RAKITIN]. Well, Mihail Alexandritch, come along. . . . Give me your arm. . . . It’s clear we are destined to follow in the rear. . . .

RAKITIN
[wrathfully].
Oh, Doctor, I’m sick of you.

SHPIGELSKY
[with affected good - humour].
Ah, Mihail Alexandritch, if only you know how sick I am of myself! [RAKITIN
cannot help smiling.]
Come along, come along.
[They go out into the garden.]

ACT V

[The scene is the same as in the 1st and 3rd Acts. Morning.
ISLAYEV
is sitting at the table looking through papers. He suddenly jumps up.]

ISLAYEV. No! impossible. I can’t work to - day. I can’t get it out of my mind.
[Walks up and down.]
I confess I didn’t expect this; I didn’t expect I should be so upset... as I am now. How is one to act? . . . that’s the problem.
[Ponders and suddenly shouts.’]
Matvey!

MATVEY
[entering].
Yes, Sir?

ISLAYEV. Send the bailiff to me. . . . And tell the men digging at the dam to wait for me. . . . Run along.

MATVEY. Yes, Sir.
[Goes out.]

ISLAYEV
[going back to the table and turning over the papers].
Yes . . . it’s a problem!

ANNA SEMYONOVNA
[comes in and goes up to
ISLAYEV]. Arkasha. . . .

ISLAYEV. Ah! it’s you, Mamma. How are you this morning?

ANNA SEMYONOVNA
[sitting down on the sofa].
I’m quite well, thank God.
[Sighs.]
I’m quite well.
[Sighs still more audibly.]
Thank God.
[Seeing that
ISLAYEV
is not attending to her, she sighs very emphatically, with a faint moan.]

ISLAYEV. You’re sighing . .. what’s the matter?

ANNA SEMYONOVNA
[sighs again but less emphatically].
Oh! Arkasha, as though you don’t know what makes me sigh!

ISLAYEV. What do you want to say?

ANNA SEMYONOVNA
[after a pause].
I’m your mother, Arkasha. Of course you’re a man, grown - up and sensible; but still -
 
- I’m your mother. It’s a great word -
 
- mother!

ISLAYEV. Please explain.

ANNA SEMYONOVNA. You know what I am hinting at, my dear. Your wife, Natasha ... of course, she’s an excellent woman . . . and her conduct hitherto has been most exemplary . . . but she is still so young, Arkasha! And youth... .

ISLAYEV. I see what you want to say. . . . You fancy her relations with Rakitin. . . .

ANNA SEMYONOVNA. God forbid! I never thought of such a thing.

ISLAYEV. You didn’t let me finish. . . . You fancy her relations with Rakitin are not altogether . . . clear. These mysterious conversations, these tears -
 
- all strike you as strange.

ANNA SEMYONOVNA. Well, Arkasha, has he told you at last what their talks were about? . . . He has told me nothing.

ISLAYEV. I haven’t asked him, Mamma, and he is apparently in no hurry to satisfy my curiosity.

ANNA SEMYONOVNA. Then what do you intend to do now?

ISLAYEV. Do, Mamma? Why, nothing.

ANNA SEMYONOVNA. Nothing?

ISLAYEV. Why, certainly, nothing.

ANNA SEMYONOVNA
[getting up].
I must say, I’m surprised to hear it. Of course you are master in your own house and know better than I do what is for the best. But only think of the consequences. . . .

ISLAYEV. Really, Mamma, there’s no need to worry yourself.

ANNA SEMYONOVNA. My dear, I’m a mother . . . you know best.
[A pause.]
I must own I came to see whether I could do anything to help.

ISLAYEV
[earnestly].
No, as far as that goes, I must beg you, Mamma, not to trouble yourself. . . . Pray don’t!

ANNA SEMYONOVNA. As you wish, Arkasha, as you wish. I won’t say another word. I have warned you, I have done my duty, and now I won’t open my lips,
[A brief silence.]

ISLAYEV. Are you going anywhere to - day?

ANNA SEMYONOVNA. Only I must warn you; you are too trustful, my dear boy; you judge everybody by yourself! Believe me, true friends are only too rare nowadays!

ISLAYEV
[with impatience].
Mamma. . . .

ANNA SEMYONOVNA. Oh, I’ll say no more, I’ll say no more! And what’s the use, an old woman like me! I’m in my dotage, I suppose! But I was brought up on different principles, and have tried to instil them in you . . . there, there, go on with your work, I won’t interrupt you. . . . I’m going.
[Goes to door and stops.]
Well, you know best.
[Goes out.]

ISLAYEV
[looking after her].
Queer that people who really love you have such a passion for poking their fingers into your wounds. And of course they’re convinced it’s doing you good ... that’s what’s so funny! I don’t blame Mother, though; of course she means well, and how could she help giving advice? But that’s no matter. . . .
[Sitting down.]
How am I to act?
[After a moment’s thought, gets up.]
Oh! the more simply, the better! Diplomatic subtleties don’t suit me. ... I should be the first to make a muddle of them.
[Rings,
MATVEY
enters.]
Is Mihail Alexandritch at home, do you know?

MATVEY. Yes, Sir. I saw his honour in the billiard - room just now.

ISLAYEV. Ah, well, ask him to come to me.

MATVEY. Yes, Sir.
[Goes out.]

ISLAYEV
[walking up and down].
I’m not used to these upheavals. ... I hope they won’t happen often . . . strong as I am, I can’t stand them.
[Puts his hand on his heart.]
Ough! . . . [RAKITIN,
embarrassed, comes in from the outer room.]

RAKITIN. You sent for me?

ISLAYEV. Yes. . . .
[A pause,]
Michel, you know you owe me something?

RAKITIN. I owe you?

ISLAYEV. Why, yes. Have you forgotten your promise? About . . . Natasha’s tears . . . and altogether . . . When my Mother and I came upon you, you remember -
 
- you told me you had a secret which you would explain.

RAKITIN. I said a secret?

ISLAYEV. You said so.

RAKITIN. But what secret could we have? We had had a talk.

ISLAYEV. What about? And why was she crying?

RAKITIN. You know, Arkady . . . there are moments in in the life of a woman . . . even the happiest. . .

ISLAYEV. Rakitin, stop, we can’t go on like this. I can’t bear to see you in such a position. . . . Your confusion distresses me more than it does yourself.
[Takes his hand.]
We are old friends -
 
- you’ve known me from a child; I don’t know how to pretend and you have always been open with me. Let me put one question to you. ... I give you my word beforehand that I shall not doubt the sincerity of your answer. You love my wife, don’t you? [RAKITIN
looks at
ISLAYEV.] You understand me, you love her as ... Well, that is you love her with the sort of love that . . . it’s difficult to admit to her husband?

RAKITIN
[after a pause, in a toneless voice].
Yes, I love your wife . . . with that sort of love.

ISLAYEV
[also after a pause].
Michel, thank you for your frankness. You’re an honourable man. But what’s to be done now? Sit down, we’ll think it over together. [RAKITIN
sits down.
ISLAYEV
walks about the room.]
I know Natasha; I know how to appreciate her. But I know how much I’m worth myself too. I’m not your equal. Michel. . . don’t interrupt me, please -
 
- I’m not your equal. You’re cleverer, better, more attractive, in fact. I’m an ordinary person. Natasha loves me -
 
- I think, but she has eyes, well, of course, she must find you attractive. And there’s another thing I must tell you: I noticed your affection for each other long ago. . . . But I was always so sure of you both -
 
- and as long as nothing came to the surface . . . Ough! I don’t know how to say things!
[Breaks off.]
But after the scene yesterday, after your second interview in the evening -
 
- what are we to do? And if only I had come upon you alone, but other people are mixed up in it; Mamma, and that sly fox, Shpigelsky. . . . Come, what do you say, Michel?

RAKITIN. You are perfectly right, Arkady.

ISLAYEV. That’s not the point . . . what’s to be done? I must tell you, Michel, that though I am a simple person -
 
- so much I do understand, that it’s not the thing to spoil other people’s lives -
 
- and that there are cases when it’s wicked to insist on one’s rights. That I’ve not picked out of books, Michel . . . it’s my conscience tells me so. Leave others free. . . . Well, yes, let them be free. Only it wants some thinking over. It’s too important.

RAKITIN
[getting up].
But I have thought it over already.

ISLAYEV. How so?

RAKITIN. I must go. ... I’m going away.

ISLAYEV
[after a pause].
You think so? . . . Right away from here altogether?

RAKITIN. Yes.

ISLAYEV
[begins walking up and down again].
That is . . . that is a hard saying! But perhaps you are right. We shall miss you dreadfully. . . . God knows, perhaps it won’t mend matters either. . . . But you can see more clearly, you know best. I expect you are right. You’re a danger to me, Michel....
[With a mournful smile.]
Yes ... you are. You know what I said just now . . . about freedom. . . . And yet perhaps I couldn’t survive it! For me to be without Natasha. . . .
[Waving his hand in dismissal of the idea.]
And another tiling, Michel: for some time past, and especially these last few days, I’ve noticed a great change in her. She’s all the time in a state of intense agitation and I’m alarmed about it. I’m not mistaken, am I?

RAKITIN
[bitterly].
Oh no! you’re not mistaken!

ISLAYEV. Well, you see! So you are going away?

RAKITIN. Yes.

ISLAYEV. H’m! And how suddenly this has burst on us! If only you had not been so confused when my Mother and I came upon you. . . .

MATVEY
[coming in].
The bailiff is here.

ISLAYEV. Ask him to wait! [MATVEY
goes out.]
But, Michel, you won’t be away for long? That’s nonsense.

RAKITIN. I don’t know . . . really ... a good time, I expect.

ISLAYEV. But you don’t take me for an Othello, do you? Upon my word, I don’t believe there has been such a conversation between two friends since the world began! I can’t part from you like this. . . .

RAKITIN
[pressing his hand].
You’ll let me know when I can come back. . . .

ISLAYEV. There’s nobody who can fill your place here! Not Bolshintsov, anyway!