Worth Dying For (17 page)

His orgasm came fast, as he had known it would, but he hadn’t expected it to be so violent. A roar escaped his constricted throat and he bit down on his hand to stifle the noise, lest she heard it and got scared. The water hadn’t removed all of her scent from his skin and the smell of her on his fingers sent him crashing down to his knees as his climax intensified.

Bane lay naked on the forest floor as his body returned to normal, the knowledge that he could easily become desperate to keep Amber with him forever weighing him down. In a moment of clarity, he realised he would do anything, no matter how depraved, to make her truly want him. The depth of his hunger for her terrified him. She wasn’t his to take. He couldn’t allow himself to think otherwise.

His release did nothing to clear the incessant images of her swimming through his brain. It was still too soon to risk going back. He swam to the mainland to hunt again although he didn’t need to. The wolf he eventually tracked and killed put up a good fight, helping to relieve some of his tension—at least until he imagined Amber’s horror at seeing him this way. Taking down prey, human or otherwise, had never been pretty. But none of his desires were pretty. The call of her blood had diminished but now the scent of her arousal had become a new kind of agony for him to endure. Any attempt on his part to lessen that agony would be unpredictable and dangerous.

Bane swam back to his island and entered the cave, no more at peace than he had been when he left. If he had any sense, he would stay away until he had a grip on his emotions but he didn’t want to leave her alone and afraid any longer than necessary.

He found her reading in the den, her hair wet and smelling again of orchids. Bane let his feet fall hard on the rock as he approached so as not to frighten her with his sudden appearance but Amber didn’t acknowledge him save for an almost imperceptible shift of her head.

“Are you okay?”

She nodded but still didn’t meet his gaze. “Did you hunt again?”

“Yes.”

“What did you catch?”

Bane hesitated, sure somehow he would enrage her with his answer. “Wolf.”

She curled her nose in disapproval but, as usual with Amber, it wasn’t for the reason he suspected. “You do know they are a protected species?”

He laughed, partly due to her censorial frown but also from relief that his eating habits were all she had found to complain about so far. The thought that they were all endangered crossed his mind but he didn’t share it with her.

“I will try to remember that.” he said, unable to remove all of the humour from his tone. Amber’s spine straightened a little and she turned her attention away from him and back to her book.

Bane moved towards the bedroom when it seemed she had no more to say but she hadn’t finished with him. “So why don’t you hunt humans?”

“I choose not to.”

“But you did—once?”

“Before I knew better.”

“Why did you stop?”

Bane sighed, letting his head fall back. Eyes scanning the roof of the cave, he decided how best to answer. “It’s a long story, and too long for me to tell while I am tired. Let’s say I saw the error of my ways and leave it at that.”

She fell silent although he could tell Amber wanted to push him on for details, but she let it go. “Was it hard to stop?”

“Yes. It still is.”

Her green eyes got wide and he heard her pulse pick up. Bane knew he had frightened her again but he didn’t try to take the words back. She needed to know what he was truly capable of. She dropped his gaze, her cheeks aflame, and Bane knew without a doubt what she would ask next.

“Is that why you wouldn’t have sex with me?”

“In part, but there were other reasons too.” Bane gave up on the notion of immediate sleep and moved to the sofa opposite hers, unwilling to sit close while she insisted on pursuing the subject at hand. “I told you last night why I couldn’t do as you asked.”

She rolled her eyes. “Please, don’t remind me.” He didn’t understand the sarcasm in her tone. “Does being a vampire prevent you having sex with any human…or is it just me?”

He shook his head. “My kind needs to be very careful.”

“Why?”

Did she really want to know to satisfy her curiosity or rather to make his rejection of her easier to bear? Either way, it would not hurt her to hear the reason. He leant forwards to ensure she heeded his words.

“Sex is the same for us as our other urges—basic and primal—and the temptation to bite when engaged in lovemaking is almost irresistible.”

 
“So humans always die?”

He wanted to lie to her, to say she was right, but she wouldn’t believe him anyway.

“No, not always. A bite doesn’t mean death, as long as you choose the site carefully and don’t drain the recipient of blood.”

Amber’s uncharacteristic silence hung between them, until it seemed she came to a conclusion she deemed worth sharing. “No wonder you don’t want to have sex if everyone you sleep with becomes a vampire or dies.”

“Who said they become vampires? I have never changed anyone.”

“But you said you have to bite.”

Bane rubbed his head, wishing he’d never tried to explain. “I said the urge to bite is almost irresistible. That doesn’t mean I inject venom into my sexual partners.”

“You can choose to not inject venom but you can’t choose not to bite?” He nodded. “Then you
have
slept with humans in the past without killing them?”

Fool!
He’d allowed himself to be backed into a corner, leaving no choice but to tell her the whole truth. “But I have never done it with anybody I cared a damn about—the risk would be too great.”

“Who did you take the risk with?”

He squirmed. “There have always been women who know what we are and enjoy the danger of being around us—as well as the other physical aspects.”

“You mean prostitutes.” The disgust in her tone matched the look on her face. How strange that the idea of him paying for sex would be the one thing she could not accept out of all she had heard about him.

He shook his head. “Deviants.”

“Like sadomasochists?”

“Some of them are, but mostly they are normal women—and men on occasion—who want something different and exciting.”

“You have sex with men?” Her grin undermined her attempt to irritate him by pretending to misunderstand.

He held her gaze, returning her smile to show he’d figured out her game. “I don’t sleep with men, but there are some who prefer them.”

Her playful expression disappeared when it seemed she remembered what had prompted their conversation. “So which is it, Bane—you didn’t want me or rather that you didn’t trust yourself not to hurt me?”

“I would never hurt you intentionally.” Bane got to his feet, suddenly tired again. “Is this about your ego, Amber? If it is, then know that the very reason I can’t is because I want you too much. I may not be able to control my actions because—”

“Because I remind you of Mary.”

She dropped her head, accepting the truth of her statement without giving him the opportunity to answer.

He found himself in front of her, lifting her up by her arms and holding her at eye level to force her gaze to meet his. “Not because of Mary, you infuriating wench. It’s because of you.”

Bane put her down, shaken by the confession that had fallen from his lips. He had failed to see, until that very moment, that his feelings no longer had anything to do with his dead wife and Amber’s resemblance to her.

He had to rest before he did anything else to terrify the woman in his charge. Bane cast a glance at her, expecting to find her upset again but she seemed unaffected by his outburst.
 
Her calm acceptance of his behaviour made his stomach churn with shame. Had she already got used to his boorish ways?

“I’m going to sleep. Don’t forget to eat something.”

He left her in the den without waiting to hear a reply and crawled onto sheets that smelt of her. Bane groaned into the fabric, too tired to do anything but endure the torture.

Many hours had passed, by his estimate, when he became aware of her presence in the room. Bane steeled himself against the delicious scent of her arousal, potent enough to make him hard. Amber’s body called to him in other ways as she got nearer to the bed. She drew in a shaky breath, as if the thought of approaching him unnerved her, but still she came. He kept his eyes closed, willing her to have enough intelligence and sufficient-self preservation to turn around and leave. Had curiosity got the better of her? Bane hoped not for her sake.

Sneaking a look at her face through barely open eyelids, he found her gaze travelling up his naked legs. He’d shed his clothing to sleep, wrapping the sheet around his waist in case she had reason to need his attention, but it had fallen away. If he didn’t move to cover himself, Amber would no longer need to doubt that he wanted her.

Amber gasped when she noticed Bane’s erection and she cast a quick look at his face to see if he had awoken. He hadn’t moved a muscle since the last time she’d checked—except that now, his obsidian gaze locked with hers.

The shaking in her knees intensified and a tremble skittered across her skin as her groin convulsed. Amber knew she should run back to the sofa and rethink her plan to seduce Malachi Bane.

She had waited for him to return, determined to make him face her as an equal rather than his victim. What he’d done to her with nothing more than his mind hadn’t nearly satisfied her enough.

Amber wanted him.

Bane’s strong, muscled body lay inches from her if only she had the courage to reach out and show him what she wanted. Amber took a step closer, ignoring the hand he put up in warning. Emboldened that he hadn’t yet told her to stop, she pulled her T-shirt off, revealing her bare breasts to him.

“Amber, no,” he groaned, but she could see by the hungry glint in his eyes he didn’t mean it. She pulled at the zipper of her jeans, holding his gaze with hers and silently pleading that he let her do what she needed to. She kicked the denim off along with her panties and closed the distance between them.

He shut his eyes again, as if trying to blot out her image. “It’s not really me you want,” he said, his voice rough with tension. “You are reacting to an inbuilt lure, designed to pull you in so I can prey on you.”

Amber placed her knee onto the edge of the bed and crawled over him, coming to rest with her legs straddling his. The skin of his thighs was cool against hers, his body the same temperature as the interior of the cave.

“That’s why I came to you this way—so you would know I am here because I want to be.” She dropped a kiss on his chest. “Because I need to be.”

Bane lay beneath her unmoving, his jaw set in a rigid line as if trying to keep control. Amber licked and nibbled at him, ignoring his attempts at resisting her and thrust her groin down onto his, gasping as his erection brushed against her sensitive skin.

Suddenly, his fingers slid into her hair, his movements so fast that the gentle touch surprised her. But just as she thought he had accepted her—that he would give her what she asked for—he lifted her head to look at her, a plea in his eyes.

“Don’t do this.”

She hushed him. “You could have stopped me by now if you wanted to Bane.”

His hand slid out of her hair and she turned her face to it, kissing his palm and trailing her tongue up to his fingers. She locked her gaze on his and sucked the tip of one into her mouth. He tensed beneath her and his eyes closed with a groan, his body shaking, as if fighting the urge to move or respond.

Amber leant forwards, brushing her lips across his gasping mouth. Bane jerked away from her, holding her off by her shoulders. She diverted her attentions to his lower half, snaking her feet into the gap between his thighs as she moved down with the intention of taking him into her mouth. Her tongue left a wet trail over his skin and she heard the breath still in his throat as he anticipated her touch. Her head came to a rest on his pelvis and she looked at him, watching his reaction when her breast came into contact with his rigid penis.

Bane surged up from the bed, grabbing her shoulders again and lifting her away from him. “Slowly, Amber…don’t move too fast.”

Simply relieved that he hadn’t rejected her again, she laughed at his warning. If he came quickly, they could try again as soon as he had recovered. Her hand moved to his cock without hesitation.

A growl erupted from the man beneath her, so sudden, loud and fierce, it scared her upright. Bane threw his forearm over his face, but not before she’d seen the long, white teeth biting into his lip.

Amber screamed…and then things started to happen really fast. Before she had time to suck in another breath, he had thrown her to the bed and seemingly disappeared.

She lay in stunned silence for a moment, waiting for her head to stop spinning. When it didn’t make her feel ill to open her eyes, she found herself alone and upside down on the bed. Amber rolled onto her stomach and called for Bane.

A sound against the rock told her where he was. Amber could barely see him in the darkness, his massive frame pressed up against the stone, almost out of reach of the light, his fists clenched against his sides, defeat and misery etched into his silhouette.