Worth It All (The McKinney Brothers #3) (16 page)

She was already wet and ready after their kiss in the car, and her body thrummed and her blood heated. He continued his mind-blowing attention until she had to lock her knees or slide into a puddle. Needing to touch more of him, she went for his shirt, tugging and jerking until her fingers found the ridges of his abs. With a sweep of her hands, she spread his shirt open and tore her mouth from his to kiss a path up his chest. While she was busy there, he was quickly working her dress up.

In one quick move he had it up and over her head. All she had to do was unwrap her arms from around his neck. She did and then it was gone, leaving her in bra, panties, and heels.

“Good Lord, Paige. You’re unbelievable.”

His eyes feasted on her with blatant desire and she grew bold. “You have a lot of clothes on.” She cupped him through his pants, rubbed her hand up and down the hard length of him, bringing a low growl from his chest.

“You don’t,” he said. “I like it.”

He grazed his hands lightly from her neck, down her chest, moving painfully slowly over her breasts, then her stomach, before he reached his final destination.

“Is this what you wanted?”

His fingers brushed over the damp lace between her legs. Then again, harder this time. “I want you,” he said against her lips.

And he proceeded to take her.

Hours later, she lay facing Jake, legs entwined, their bodies close enough that every time she breathed, the swirl of hair on his chest brushed her nipples. They tingled and hardened. It didn’t take much. After the attention Jake had given them they were deliciously sensitive. Even better was the feel of his hand playing in her hair, his palm running over her shoulder.

She ran her fingers lightly over his forehead and down the side of his face, knowing she’d never had this kind of connection with anyone like she did now, with him.

Jake shifted and kissed her gently. “You looked beautiful tonight. Did I tell you that?” His voice was low, which suited the moment.

“You did. More than once. It was the dress.”

“No. It was you.” His voice was raspy, sexy, as his hand moved over her bottom under the sheet. “I don’t feel any dress here now and it’s still you.” His fingers danced patterns on her skin. “I was the envy of every man tonight. Still am.”

She wasn’t sure about that, but judging by the way he’d watched her all night, how she’d catch him staring at the most benign times, he made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. The only woman.

She slid her leg over his hips and ran her hands up his glorious chest. She needed to be with him again. Right now. His hands tangled in her hair, and a satisfied and solely male sound passed his lips, telling her he wanted that too.

She rolled fully on top of him, her thighs brushing his, her toes touching his one shin and he stiffened. Tension filled his entire body and even in the dark she saw the change in his face. His hands went to her hips to move her to his other side. “No.” She held tight to his shoulders and raised up enough to meet his eyes.

“Don’t. Don’t hide anything from me.” She wanted all of him, nothing off-limits, and nothing holding him back. “Not from me,” she whispered, running her lips up his throat, over his slightly stubbly jaw. “It doesn’t bother me.”

His fingers still held, his eyes locked with hers, but he wasn’t pushing her away. “Because of you or because of Casey?”

She hated the questions she saw in his eyes, knew a man like Jake would hate having them. She brushed her lips over his softly, then again. “Maybe because of you,” she whispered against his lips, sliding her damp and swollen center along his erection. “Mmm. I’m pretty sure it’s you.”

“Paige…”

She sighed again, loving the sound of her name on his lips. “You don’t want me to stop, do you?”

He groaned and his eyes closed. “What was the question?”

She sat back so she could take him in her hand, drawing his mind away from things that didn’t matter. She continued to stroke him another minute, then came back to his lips. The kiss was deep and full of unspoken words and when she centered herself over him, slid slowly down his length, more than their bodies were connected. She lifted herself up, then down, driving them higher, until they both remembered a condom. After that, he took over and they both forgot everything.

A week later the three of them arrived in Virginia. The ride from the airport to Freedom Farm was about forty minutes and filled with Casey’s questions and animated conversation between Jake and Stephen, because it hadn’t been a volunteer to pick them up, but Jake’s older brother. Tall, with dark hair and brown eyes, she could definitely see the family resemblance. Paige had just about memorized everyone’s name and their spouse by the time they arrived. She doubted she’d be here long enough to learn all their kids’ names. There were so many she’d already lost count, she thought, smiling.

They topped a small rise and she got her first sight of Freedom Farm. The barn was red with a rounded gray roof and a tiny loft window. Horses grazed behind weathered fencing to the right and left. It could have been a painting over the mantel in a fancy home, or a picture you’d see in a textbook depicting the great American farm. Or maybe beside the definition of
happy place
.

“Here we are,” Stephen said as Casey chattered and squealed with excitement.

They parked in front of the wide-open barn doors and got out. Casey stood beside Paige, her blue eyes wide, taking in the scene. Two large dogs raced into the barn, then just as quickly out again, yipping with joy. A woman with a long, wheat-colored braid followed them out. She wore jeans and boots and a dark blue top that hugged her very pregnant belly.

“Hey, babe.” Stephen greeted her with a kiss. “Paige, this is my wife, Hannah, riding instructor extraordinaire. Hannah, this is Paige and Casey.”

Hannah greeted Paige with a hug, then moved to Jake. She gave him a long look full of affection. “It’s good to see you. I wanted to pick you up myself, but I had a full day.” She knelt in front of Casey. “Hi. You must be Casey.”

“I am.”

“Would you like to meet the horses?”

“Yes!”

“Oh, we don’t have to do it now,” Paige said quickly. “I don’t want to make your day any longer.”

“Are you kidding? I was planning on it. I figured that’d be the first thing she’d want to do when she got here. Right, Casey?”

Casey nodded.

“No reason to make her wait.” Hannah held her hand out to Casey and they all started toward the barn. “You’ll be staying in the cabin, which is right on the way to our house. And…” She swung her gaze to Jake. “You’ll be staying…”

Jake looked at Paige and she stared back, while Stephen and Hannah exchanged a look, then Stephen and Jake. “I’m not sure yet,” Jake finally said.

“I’m sure Mom will have something to say about it,” Stephen said with a smirk and Hannah elbowed him.

She barely had time to process the logistics of Jake staying with her before they were in the barn. It took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust to the dark, but the scent of hay and leather surrounded her immediately. It was even better than her childhood self had imagined. Hooves shuffled behind the wooden walls of their stalls, and Casey was firing off questions faster than Hannah could answer them.

Hannah greeted the horses hanging their heads over open stall doors and introduced each one. Her soft voice matched her looks and personality. There was something slow and deliberate about the way she moved that gave a sense of calm reassurance. She’d won Casey over in seconds.

“Easy,” Paige said, feeling her daughter ready to burst with eager anticipation.

Hannah opened the door at the end of the row and led out a small gray. “This is Hazel.”

“Hi, Hazel.” Casey patted the horse’s side while Paige rubbed her forelock.

Hannah continued talking to Casey, answering her questions and explaining things. She went slowly, naming the horse’s body parts and showing her how to brush her and where to walk.

Jake stayed right at Casey’s shoulder, stepping between her and the horse every time Hazel so much as bobbed her head, which was completely overprotective and endearing.

“Okay, Casey. Ready for your first ride?”

“Yes!”

“Now?” Jake asked as Paige smiled at her daughter’s enthusiasm. He sounded distinctly unenthused for someone who’d thought this was such a great idea. Stephen had slipped away without her noticing and was back with a blanket, a bridle, and a small saddle.

“Like, right now? Doesn’t she need…I don’t know, lessons or something?”

Hannah smiled patiently and patted his arm. “That’s where she gets the lessons, JT. On the horse.”

Well, shit. Casey was raring to go and Paige, Hannah, and Stephen were all looking at him like he’d lost his mind. Of course she was going to ride. That’s what they’d come for.

“I’ll be right beside her,” Hannah added.

“Okay.” He took a deep breath, relaxed his jaw, and checked the chin strap on her helmet, making it a little tighter.

Hannah led the horse out of the barn and directed Casey on mounting with a prosthesis.

“Not too fast. And listen to Hannah,” he said.

Casey sat tall and proud, the joy on her face shining brightly. “Okay.”

Hannah rolled her eyes at him and led the horse away, she and Paige walking on either side. Casey looked so damn happy up there he had to smile.

Stephen clapped him on his shoulder. “Follow me. We can watch them from the fence.”

He walked beside his brother, only half listening to him going on about the details of how they’d expanded the farm recently. His attention was on the tiny girl on top of the relatively giant horse. “Damn, she looks small up there.”

“Hannah knows what she’s doing.”

“I know,” he said quickly. “I mean I’m sure she does, but…I don’t remember horses being so…big.” For some reason he hadn’t pictured Casey hopping up there all by herself within five minutes of being here. He’d prefer it if he were riding with her, even knowing that would defeat the purpose of the therapy. “Doesn’t she have any ponies?”

Stephen grinned. “Hazel’s hardly a giant, but I get it. It’s different when it’s your own.”

“She’s not mine,” he said. His reply had been purely reflex, maybe a defense mechanism because he was feeling quite the opposite, about both of them. Especially after today. The way Casey had rested her head on his shoulder when he held her, how Paige had leaned into him for support on the train to their connecting gate. The way they’d easily juggled bags and child and food.

He’d sat beside her for hours on the airplane, sharing the small space, the armrest up, and linked his fingers with hers. She’d leaned into him then too, and they’d both watched Casey watch the clouds until she fell asleep. And when Paige had fallen asleep about thirty minutes after Casey, he’d smiled to himself and thought, his girls. They should be his.

“How’s everything on the other end of the country?” Stephen asked.

“Good. Business is good.”

“And life is good too, from the looks of things.”

He knew by his brother’s smirk he was talking about Paige. He’d watched Stephen’s gaze follow Hannah as she led the horse and rider away, seen the clear, unadulterated love shining in his eyes. Hell, it was there when he was just talking about her. Unguarded and possessive for all the world to see.

That’s what he wanted. It’s what he had, he just had to get Paige there.

“I’m glad you came,” Stephen said. “Mom will be happy to see you. Everyone will.”

“Did you tell her I was coming?”

“Yes. She probably would have met you herself, but she promised one of the kids she’d go to their camp awards or something.”

He nodded, thinking how his mom had never missed anything and now did the same for her grandkids. He felt a familiar pang of guilt when he thought of his mom. He knew she missed him and wanted him to come home more often. “You know, it occurred to me later how hard that must have been on you, being the one that made my leaving possible. I doubt Mom appreciated it.”

“She was okay. Surprisingly. I think she saw that you needed to get away even if she hated it.”

God, yes, he’d needed to get away. From the constant worry, the inordinate amount of love and care to the point he’d felt suffocated. Watching his brothers and sister come and go, knowing they were all pitching in to help Mom take care of him, to take some of the load off. Because in the early weeks after the amputation that’s what he’d been, a load. Couldn’t even get to the bathroom by himself. Cast on his left leg, the other one half gone.

Then his friends, the ones who came home from college to visit and then returned to school. His teammates who wouldn’t be teammates anymore. And the ones who were noticeably absent. He didn’t blame them, wasn’t sure he’d have been first in line for visiting hours if the tables were turned. It was hard enough to look at himself. So he’d smiled, said he was fine, said it was all good. Even though his dreams were gone along with a large part of his identity.

Infinitely worse was their compassion when guilt and shame were eating him alive. Stephen had been the one with the means to help him get away.

“I’m not sure I ever thanked you for sending me to Colorado after the accident. It was the right thing. It’s what I needed.”

“I’m glad,” Stephen said. “And you don’t have to thank me. We’re brothers. There was a time I felt some of the same suffocation, but it’s different when you’re the one doing the worrying. After your accident, I started to see the family’s hovering overtures differently.” He smiled at the group making their way around the ring. “Hannah helped me the rest of the way.”

JT nodded, knowing Stephen had suffered through his own hell.

But now he was back. For the first time by choice, and funny, he hadn’t thought about all the reasons he hated coming home. Hadn’t gotten the usual heart-racing panic. Because for the first time in so many years, his mind was completely full of something else.

Someone else.

Jake arrived at the cabin at six on the dot to escort them up the hill to Hannah and Stephen’s house. Paige sat on the cabin’s top porch step and watched him park and get out. He’d taken his bag to his parents’ house, and from the looks of it he’d taken a shower. His hair was slightly damp, his face fresh-shaven, and her heart dipped into her stomach like it did every time she saw him.

“Hey, Cotton Candy Girl,” Jake greeted Casey where she was gathering acorns and other assorted nature in front of the porch.

Paige stood as he climbed the steps to greet her and then backed her up, not stopping until they were just inside the open door and out of view. And then without a word he took her mouth with a kiss that stole her breath and left her body weak. Her arms wound around his neck and he kissed her again, and then again. Her eyes fluttered open to find him smiling down at her.

He rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip. Growled low in his throat. “You can’t look at me like that.”

She could imagine the look he was talking about because she desperately wanted to strip him naked and kiss every inch of him, starting at the bottom and working her way up.

“Mommy! I found something.”

“Okay.” She cleared her throat, finding it hard to speak. “Be right there.”

Jake grinned and smoothed a hand over her hair in a way that always made her gooey inside. “Later.” Then he kissed the top of her head and left her to catch her breath.

Later?
Well, that would give her something to think about as she ate dinner across from his family.

“How’s the cabin in the woods?” he asked when she joined them outside a moment later.

“Good,” Casey answered. “Hannah said I could ride horses again tomorrow and I’m going to ride Dusty.”

“Sounds like you’re turning into a real cowgirl. We’ll have to get you some boots.” Jake swept Casey through the air, making her laugh, then put her on his shoulders.

They walked the short distance up the wooded road that was really just a well-worn clearing barely wide enough for a car. “Casey, remember your manners, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I mean it. Don’t stick your fingers in any food and—”

“I know, Mom.”

“She knows, Mom.” Jake bumped her shoulder, mimicking Casey’s exasperated voice. “Trust me, she will be an upstanding citizen compared to this crowd. My brother Andrew, for one, never met a cake he didn’t swipe his fingers through.”

At the thought of the crowd that would be there, Paige glanced down at her sandals. The bottoms were worn and the left strap was hanging by a thread. She pulled at her skirt. It was loose and flowing, but it did fall several inches above her knees. Her shirt was plain white, a dressy T-shirt style. She hadn’t thought to ask what to wear. Too late now.

The family she’d met so far had been nothing but kind and welcoming, but her stomach still hurt a little. Jake had grown up very differently than she had. Two parents and loads of siblings. Several had served in the military, a couple were doctors. She was what some would refer to as trailer trash. Left by a father who’d never paid child support and raised by a mother who’d never seen the benefits of getting a job. Add to that, she’d had a baby barely out of high school. Definitely not stellar-citizen stock.

Jake steadied Casey with one hand and slipped his other arm around Paige’s shoulders, pulling her into his side. “Relax,” he said and placed a quick kiss on the top of her head.

When they topped the small hill and got their first look at Hannah’s house, her nerves that had settled for a moment kicked up again. It reminded her of a ski lodge, not hotel big, but it had all the style. Heavy furniture with deep red cushions sat in groupings along the wraparound porch. The entire structure was wood and large gray stone with columns shaped like the Washington Monument from the roof to the wide steps leading up to the front door. They could already hear the noise of a happy crowd bursting out from inside as they passed a row of parked cars.

Jake lowered Casey onto her feet and, holding both of their hands, led them up the steps and in. “Here we go.”

The kitchen was large, open and airy, and crowded with people.

“See? What’d I tell you?” Jake said to her, then slapped the back of a man who was also getting his hand slapped away from a plate of deviled eggs. “My brother, Andrew. Andrew, Paige. And Casey.”

Casey raised her arms for Jake to pick her up and he did, bringing her eye level with the grown-ups. Her daughter wasn’t shy by any means, but this was a lot of people, and Casey kept one arm tight around Jake’s neck throughout the many introductions. She wasn’t shy, either, but she was glad for his warm hand at her back. It was comforting and at the same time possessive.

“And more brothers: Tony, Patrick, and Matt.”

All three men were tall and dark and handsome, similar to Jake. She felt the slightest hesitation on Jake’s part, but each of the men clasped his hand and pulled him in for a one-arm man hug.

“Where’s my baby brother?” A small woman with dark hair and eyes hugged him enthusiastically and kissed his cheek. She smiled at Casey. “I used to carry him around like a doll. Can you believe that?”

Casey shook her head, her eyes wide with surprise.

Jake’s sister laughed and held out her hand. “Hi, I’m JT’s one and only sister, Lizzie.”

She’d just let go of Lizzie’s hand when Matt caught his arm around a stunning woman. Her sleek, dark hair fell well past her shoulders and she had the most brilliant green eyes Paige had ever seen.

“My wife, Abby.”

“Hi,” Abby said warmly, giving Paige an unexpected hug. “I’m so glad you came. And who’s this?”

“This is Casey,” Jake said.

“Hi,” Abby greeted her and asked about her trip on the airplane and her horseback ride.

More women she assumed were sisters-in-law greeted Jake, but after each hug his hand came back to her. They moved from the crowded kitchen toward a large, open room with an enormous stone fireplace and a large comfy-looking sectional. Giant exposed beams stretched across the ceiling. It was done mostly in red and brown with splashes of gold in the pillows and decorations. By far the most beautiful home she’d ever been in.

“Mom.”

A short woman with dark hair intercepted them halfway into the room. “Jacob.” She reached for his face and pressed a long kiss to his cheek, then looked at him with emotion-filled eyes. A mother’s love.

A man with thick gray hair and a baby in his arms joined them. “Hi. You must be Paige,” he said. “I’d shake your hand but my arms are full.”

“Your father is a baby hog,” his mom said, smiling at her. “I’m Marge.” She took Paige’s hand between her own. “This is my husband, Joe. And who’s this?”

“This is my daughter, Casey. It’s nice to meet you both.”

“You too. This is Lily,” Marge said, adjusting the elastic sleeve around the infant’s tiny arm. “Andrew’s newest.”

“Uncle J!” A boy and girl ran over, same height, both with light brown hair and striking hazel eyes.

“Hey, Cole Man. Hi, Caroline. These are Matt and Abby’s twins,” he told Paige as he knelt with Casey.

Her daughter hadn’t been around many kids, not because of her leg, more location and time. The trailer park in Texas was mostly older people now, not a lot of playdates going on.

“I’m losing a tooth,” the boy said.

“I already lost one,” Caroline followed, pulling at her gums to show off her empty space.

“Very nice,” Jake said. “This is Casey. She’s about the same age as you. She’s going into kindergarten. Casey, this is Cole and Caroline.”

Casey laid a hand on Jake’s thigh and edged deeper into the shelter his big body made.

“We already did kindergarten. We’re in first,” Cole said.

“
About
to be in first,” his sister corrected.

“JT’s our uncle,” Cole announced, staking a claim.

“He’s my best friend,” Casey countered. “We have the same leg.”

She stuck out her pink and white tennis shoe, showing off the new prosthesis below her ruffled knee-length skirt. “Me and Jake and a robot made it and Jake has one too.”

She’d gone with a black and purple socket at the top and a silver pylon with a small, hot-pink ring of titanium where the pylon joined the foot, her own design choice. So far so good. She loved it. Jake had done that, Paige thought, her heart nearly bursting as it had done when he’d given it to Casey. Caroline and Cole stared at the prosthesis Casey so proudly showed off, and Paige held her breath.

“Why do you have it?” Cole asked.

“My other one didn’t grow right, so when I was a baby they cut it off.”

Cole’s eyebrows rose and he looked at Casey, then her leg, his expression clearly that of a six-year-old boy impressed. “Cool.”

Cool obviously trumped blood relation in the eyes of a six-year-old, and Cole was now way more focused on Casey than on Jake.

“Want to play?” Caroline asked her.

“Okay.”

To her amazement, Casey followed Caroline and Cole across the room and around a corner without even looking back.

“Well,” Jake said straightening, a touch of disappointment on his handsome face. “I think I’ve been replaced.”

“Send Paige in here,” Hannah called out to him from the kitchen.

Jake sent her a questioning look.

“I’m good. I’ll go do…girl stuff.” Whatever that was. She passed the line of men walking out, looking like they’d been exiled, and joined the women in the kitchen. They scooted their stools over at the island to make room for her.

“Here, taste this.” Hannah slid over a dish of some hot, cheesy dip, and she grabbed a chip.

“Mmm. That’s delicious.”

“I know, right? Marge brought it.”

“I feel bad I didn’t bring anything,” she said.

“Please. You’re our guest. Thanks for putting up with us. Maybe not what you had in mind when you agreed to go on a trip with JT.”

“What? No. I didn’t have anything in mind. It’s for Casey.”

“Right,” Beth said, and the women exchanged smiles and knowing looks.

A group of kids came through, saving her from more speculation. They gave Paige a job of putting serving spoons in all the side dishes, which made her feel less awkward. She listened to the women talk about recipes and their kids’ eating habits. They seemed like sisters, yet except for Lizzie they’d each married into this family.

Minutes later, Stephen joined them and circled behind Hannah. “Why aren’t you sitting down?”

“Because I feel fine standing?”

He kissed her neck, whispered something against her ear that made her laugh. His free hand came around and caressed her belly, and she angled her head back to smile at him again.

A strange emptiness settled in Paige’s stomach. She didn’t think too much about having more children, but she’d like to. In her ideal life, living in her ideal house with the picket fence, she’d have two, maybe three. She smiled, thinking what a good big sister Casey would make.

Did Jake want that? She froze with the last spoon in her hand. Why did it hinge on Jake?