Worth The Fight (Hard To Love Book 1) (18 page)

I pick up my cell for probably the tenth time and unlock the screen. I look at Bryce’s contact details, my finger hovering over the call button. I’ve wanted to call him since I collapsed on my bed, but I haven’t built up the courage to go through with it yet. I don’t know if I'm more worried about him potentially ignoring my call or him actually answering and me needing to be man enough to talk to him. I lower the phone to my naked chest, and it must brush over the button because I quickly hear ringing over the line. I panic and press the end call button.
Shit! It’s going to show as a missed call on his cell, fuck.
My heart races in my chest as I try to work out what to do. I’m concentrating so much on what to do, that when my cell rings it flies out of my hand and I let out a very unmanly scream. I rub my hand over the mattress until it comes into contact with my cell. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my heart rate, when I see Bryce’s number flash on the screen. I press the connect button and put the phone to my ear. There’s a few minutes silence between us and I wonder if I should say something, anything to get us talking, but before I do I hear the voice that’s haunted my dreams.

“Why did you call, Zeke?” I close my eyes and listen as he says my name and it’s like that single word heals a little part of my heart.

“You came to my fight, but you left. Why?” There’s more silence between us and I try to imagine what he's doing.

“It was too hard to stay. I thought I could watch you fight but I couldn’t.” I don’t know if he means the memories of Austin that still haunts him or if being around me is too much for him.

“I'm sorry, Bryce.” He lets out a very audible sigh and I feel this conversation is about to go off the rails.

“I wish you were, Zeke. Is that all you called for?” I panic, suddenly needing to keep him on the call for as long as I can. Hearing his voice makes me feel the most at ease I've felt in a long time.

“I am sorry. I'm sorry for everything, for running, for ignoring you. I'm sorry I can’t be the man you need, and I'm sorry that I need to live a lie to do the thing that I've been dreaming of since I was a teenager. I miss you like fuck and I don’t know what to do. I don’t have anyone to talk to and I'm driving myself insane. I don’t want you to hate me, but I know you do and I don’t blame you.” The words tumble out without control but I need him to hear them so he can understand.

“I don’t hate you. I just couldn’t be around you anymore. I couldn’t watch you with her, Zeke. It was breaking my heart every god damn day.” He gives me hope as he speaks. Hope for what exactly, I'm not sure but at least he's talking to me, he hasn’t shut me out like I expected.

“I'm so fucking sorry. I miss you so much.” My voice is quiet and I'm not sure if he can actually hear me over the line, but when I hear his answer I know he has.

“I miss you too, more than you’ll ever know.” The silence between us is deafening and I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to tell him what he means to me and that I love him. I want to say the words but I know it’s unfair to him to tell him when I can’t be with him. Before I have a chance to say anything I hear him over the line, asking a question that I never thought I would hear.

“Can I come over? I need to see you.” I answer without hesitation I answer him, barely letting him finish talking.

“Yes.” I hear the phone disconnect as my heart starts galloping in my chest again. I don’t know what’s going to happen when he arrives or what he wants to see me for, but the thought of being so close to him again has my dick hardening in my underwear. I need to get my body under control before he arrives.

I know this is a mistake, nothing good can come from seeing Zeke again, but I couldn’t stop myself. When I heard his voice on the phone my heart felt like it might explode in my chest and the feeling of being complete again was overwhelming. I hadn’t planned to call him back but when I saw his name on my mobile, I couldn’t stop my finger from pressing the call button. I wasn’t surprised that he called, I’d been expecting it when he saw me at the fight today.

That’s another thing I hadn’t expected to do. I haven’t been in an arena watching a fight since the day I lost Austin, and I always said you would never find me in another one. There are too many painful memories that I had planned to stay away and I would have, if I hadn’t had a very interesting call from Asha. When the unknown number appeared on my screen I almost didn’t answer it but the worrier in me accepted the call. I’m the type of person who always thinks that something bad has happened, that someone I know has had an accident and if I don’t answer I won’t be able to get to them in time. I know people think I'm a little insane, but it’s just the way I am. So I answered the call and was completely shocked to hear Asha on the other end. She’d asked me what was happening between Zeke and me because she was worried about him.

She told me she had never seen him hurting so much and she didn’t know what to do. She knew that anything she did wouldn’t be what he needed, but she had a suspicion that I might be able to help him. I’d sat and listened to her, shocked that my leaving had made any impact on Zeke’s life. He seemed to leave so easily when Dwayne caught us, even going as far as getting engaged to a woman to hide his secret. She told me about his upcoming fight and that I should go and watch him, but I explained that I couldn’t. I had even moved house, despite not being able to afford it, just so I wouldn’t run into him. I don’t think I would be able to handle seeing him with her, watching them be the happy couple when I know all his secrets. I wonder if he told her everything that he had confessed to me, about his past and his desires. I'm pretty sure he hasn’t since she’s still planning on marrying him, unless it’s for the money, but she doesn’t seem like that type of person. If she were only after his fame she wouldn’t have called me, in an attempt to make Zeke happier.

I went against everything my brain was telling me when I walked into the fight arena. My heart almost stopped in my chest when I saw Zeke in the ring, bouncing on the soles of his feet. He looked stunning up there, the energy bubbling under his skin made him look like a snake waiting to strike. His skin was shining slightly under the lights and he looked like a God, like he could take on the world. I stood in awe watching him, well that was until his opponent threw the first punch. Even though it didn’t look like it had affected Zeke in any way watching someone try to hurt him had my stomach in my throat. That’s when I knew I had to leave, I couldn’t stand there and watch this. I had just reached the aisle, working my way towards the door when I felt all the hair on the back of my neck stand up on end and that’s when I knew he had seen me. Even from this distance my body knew when it had his attention. I fought against turning around but I knew it was a losing battle. When my eyes connected with his, it was like all the air left my body. It was the first time I had seen him in weeks and the intensity in his stare was immense. It drew me in until the whole arena faded away into the background. I could feel the pull of his eyes, the need to touch him, to hold him and I fought desperately against it but I knew I would give in if I didn’t leave. Thankfully his attention was pulled away from me, allowing me to run before he looked back at me. I almost ran out of those main doors, knowing that I needed to get away before I did something stupid.

Now I'm standing at his front door, doing that something stupid. I just stand there, not wanting to ring the bell but not wanting to walk away.
When did I become this person?
I used to be decisive and be able to know exactly what do, but now I don’t know what the hell I'm doing. The door in front of me opens and I stop breathing. Zeke is standing there in just his underwear, a small lamp illuminating him from behind. He looks like a fucking angel, one that I want to dirty up and make sure he doesn’t get back into heaven. We stand and look at each other, neither of us making the first move. My eyes drift over his body even though I know I shouldn’t, I'm pretty sure I came here to talk so I need to keep my eyes on his face.

“Are you coming in or are we staying here all night? Just so I know if I should go get a jacket or not.” I feel the edges of my lips twitch. I’ve missed his attitude, the fact that he doesn’t give a shit about what he says, well unless it’s telling people who he really is, always made me laugh. With that sobering thought I move forward, hoping it will keep me on track for the chat we need to have. I'm doing well until I step inside and Zeke shuts the door behind me. He steps close to me and overloads all my senses. His scent invades my nose and I have to close my eyes as I start to feel light headed. I can feel his body heat behind me as he stands closer than he should be, his breath breezing over the back of my neck making my hair stand on end. It feels as though he’s pressed against me but I know he isn’t touching me at all, but suddenly I want him to. I want to run my hands over his naked flesh, and my tongue, I want to taste every inch of him, inside and out.

I turn to face him and the look of lust in his eyes almost sears me. I refuse to touch him, I can’t give in to my want for him. That thought is still going through my head as I grab Zeke by the back of the neck and our mouths collide with a passion that threatens to set the world on fire. His taste explodes over my tongue, making my already erect dick excruciatingly hard. I’ve been semi-hard since I spoke to him on the phone, but seeing him and tasting him takes it beyond anything I’ve experienced. I think I'm harder now than when we were together before, I know how good he feels now, so I know what’s to come. I push against his body until he's moving, my lips not leaving his for a second. When his back collides with his front door I keep moving until my chest is pressed tightly against his, his hard dick pushing against mine. I grind into him and when he groans into my mouth I nearly lose the control I have on my orgasm. The next few minutes are a battle for control, we’re all hands and mouths as we reacquaint ourselves with each other’s bodies. The only time our lips disconnect is when he strips my t-shirt over my head. Flesh to flesh we move down the hall to his bedroom. We bounce off walls and I head butt the doorframe, but not once do I stop kissing him.

When his hands work on the zip of my jeans, I take a minute to try and control my breathing. I'm light headed from the kiss, the lack of oxygen playing havoc with my body and I don’t think it will do any good if I pass out on the floor. My jeans hit the floor, closely followed by my underwear, and I step out of them as Zeke watches me. His eyes feel like they’re caressing me, making my skin burn under the attention. He takes a step forward so our chests almost touch, sparks flying between the inch he’s left between us. I reach out and pull him, closing the final distance between us. I take his lips in a softer kiss this time, trying to show him what he really means to me. His hands work their way through my hair as he keeps my lips on his.

I can feel my heart swell as emotions run through me. I can feel what he's trying to tell me that I'm important to him. I run my hands down his back, pressing deep into his tense muscles until I reach the waistband of his boxers. I run my fingers under the elastic before slipping my hand inside, using my wrists to take the material with me. I push them down over his body, moving my hips away from him for a moment so they can fall to the floor. I press my fingers into his arse cheeks, pulling him into me so our dicks are finally touching skin to skin. Its Zeke’s turn to push against me and forces me to move backwards until my legs connect with the bed. My knees buckle and I fall onto the mattress.

Zeke stares down at me, the hunger in his eyes making it look like he wants to devour me whole. A few seconds later that’s exactly what he does. With no hesitation he leans over and takes me deep into his mouth. I cry out as my back arches of the bed. The feel of his warm mouth and the pressure of his tongue are taking me to the point of exploding, and as much as I want to come down his throat I want to feel him inside me more. I reach down and grab him by the hair, pulling him up my body until his lips are on mine again. I roll us over, pushing us up on the bed until we’re in the centre of it. I kiss all over him, from his lips to his jaw, his neck and down over his chest until I reach his weeping dick. I flick my tongue over his tip, collecting the precum there, letting it coat my tongue while my hand works over him from base to tip. I close my eyes, tasting him and listening to his heavy breathing. I wonder if it’s possible to come without any physical stimulation or attention to my dick, because I'm pretty sure it’s about to happen.

“Bryce, I need you.” I open my eyes and look up in to Zeke’s face to see that him looking desperate. A shiver of pride rushes through my body with the knowledge that I can still make him feel like this. Even though he ran away from me, I know that I still affect him and that he still needs me as much as I need him. I lean over and open the drawer next to his bed, grabbing the condoms and lube. I would make him wait and make him suffer a little bit more but I need him inside me. I need that electric connection of our bodies coming together. I lean back on my knees and rip open the condom packet. I place the condom on Zeke’s tip, ready to roll it down on him in preparation but his hand on mine stops me. I look up, worried that he’s changed his mind and doesn’t want me anymore.

“I need
you
. I want to feel you inside me.” His voice is soft but I can feel the certainty behind the words. I’ve never been inside Zeke and nerves suddenly attack me. I want this so badly, my throbbing dick is evidence to that, but I don’t want him to feel like he has to do this. I'm more than happy to have him top me, I get as much pleasure from that as he does.

“You don’t have to, Zeke.” He smiles at me, the smile that shows his dimple and melts my heart.

“I know I don’t have to, I want to. I need to feel you inside me, Bryce. Please.” I take a deep breath to try and calm myself down. The thought of being inside Zeke is almost too much, but I must be taking too long because he moves my hand and places the condom over my straining hard on. Zeke rolls the condom over me before grabbing lube and dripping it on me. He rubs it into my length and I let out a groan from deep in my chest. Taking my hand he pours some lube onto my finger before lying back and opening his legs for me, pulling his legs towards his chest. My eyes focus on the tight hole that has come into view, it’s so fucking sexy seeing Zeke like this. My breath comes out on a stutter and I feel like I might have a heart attack any minute. The rate my heart is beating can’t be healthy. I reach out, rubbing my lubed fingers over his puckered hole, making his body jump. I look up at him, needing to make sure that he’s still on board with this. I don’t want to do anything he isn’t comfortable with.

“I'm fine, it was cold.” He laughs but it sounds breathy. I need to distract him until he relaxes, it’s the only way I'm going to be able to stretch him without hurting him. I lean down and take his dick into my mouth, working my tongue around his tip. With a groan I feel Zeke’s body instantly relax and I go back to massaging his rim with my finger. I press against him and when I don’t feel him fighting against the pressure I push the tip of my finger in. I take him deeper into my throat at the same time and he yells as the dual pleasure becomes too much for him. When his hands grab my hair I move back off him and look up into his eyes. He watches me lick his erection while my finger fucks his arse. I slip a second finger in and watch his face for any signs of pain, but all I see is fire burning in his eyes. He pulls my hair until his dick leaves my mouth and bounces against his stomach.

“I need you inside me. Now.” I remove my finger from his body, grab myself and press my head against his tight hole.

“Are you sure?” I feel his body pushing back against me, my dick popping through the ring of resistance until his body is hugging me. I stop and breathe quickly as I try to resist the urge to pound into his body. He's far too tight to do that, and truthfully I would only last one thrust. I move gently, easing myself in until I am fully inside him. I study his face the entire time for signs that he isn’t enjoying this but all I see is pleasure. I still, letting his body adjust to me being there but he doesn’t lose any of the tightness.
I am only going to last a couple more thrusts if his muscles don’t relax
.

Movement catches my eye and I look down to see Zeke’s hand caress his weeping dick. The sight makes me twitch inside him and he groans which causes him to tighten around me even more. I honestly didn’t think that would be possible.

“Keep doing that, Zeke. I won’t last long when I start moving so I need you to come.” I watch his eyes as they darken and it’s such a fucking turn on. Everything about this man I'm inside turns me on. When I feel his body start to tense I move, I might last long enough to come with him. I press my hands on the back of Zeke’s knees and press them closer to his chest. Pulling out of him, I leave barely an inch inside before pushing back in gently. When I try to ease out of him, it’s like his body is trying to suck me back in, like it doesn’t want me to leave. I increase the power behind my thrusts, my balls crashing onto his arse as I pound into him and the sound adds to the thrill of what’s happening. Knowing that I'm not being gentle but he’s taking everything I give him. I feel the tingling build at the base of my spine as my orgasm makes itself known. I push down on Zeke’s legs again, changing my angle and hitting that special place inside him every time I thrust. He cries out and I watch as the first spurts of his orgasm start to coat his stomach. That’s all it takes for the tingling sensation in my spine to spread through my balls, pulling them into my body as I come hard. I collapse onto his body, burying my face into his neck as I enjoy the last few moments of one of the best orgasms I've ever had.