Wrapped Around My Finger (19 page)

“How does it feel to take your best friend down with you, Leah?” one of them called out before we got to the door.

The door slammed closed behind us. “Did they just say what I think they said?” She looked like she was about to pass out. “How do they know about Kari?”

“Because the root of all evil is more than willing to tell the media everything they want to know.” I’d quit my job a week too late. Leah had begged me to take Christmas off and spend it with her. If I’d granted her wish, none of this would be happening. “I can’t believe you hadn’t heard from her if it’s true.”

“Or she’s so pissed she’s not talking to me.” Leah’s phone lit up the dim hallway. “Or I had my phone on silent and she’s been blowing it up the whole time.”

“Fuck. I hoped they were trying to bait you. That for once, they were wrong.”

Leah sighed heavily. “First, we have to deal with this. Who knows, maybe we’ll have some good news to tell her.”

From the look on everyone’s faces at the table, I knew that wasn’t the case.

L
eah

“Let me guess. The network sees this as a ratings boon, and we’re all getting big fat raises.” My attempt at a joke was met with blank stares. I swallowed hard and tried not to puke. I sunk into my chair, not letting go of Jagger’s hand. Diane didn’t try to hide her glare. “Or not.”

“I wish that were the case.” Diane’s expression changed to something more sympathetic, and something else I’d never seen on her face before—fear. “Believe it or not, the network was willing to go to bat for you. They like you a lot, and natural on-air talent isn’t easy to find. There’s a reason your star rose so fast. And you and Jagger were set for your own empire.”

Were.
I knew what was coming.

“This is bigger than just you and Jagger. The media is on a witch hunt now that the client list of the escorting agency has been accessed. Some well-respected women are playing defense today. The network has decided to suspend production on
Second Chances
, and your segments on
Great Start Today
have been discontinued, effective immediately.”

Suspend? Discontinued?
“So I’m fired.”

“Not exactly. This way the network still has you under contract, Jagger as well.” Diane glanced over at him. I wondered how different this conversation would be if she’d never suggested him coming on air with me, or if he’d stuck to his guns and refused the job. If Beth’s pissing contest would’ve still morphed into the behemoth shitstorm destroying everything. “They’ve declined to report on the story any more than acknowledging it exists. That’s a good sign. Once everyone stops using the word
embattled
to describe you, they may ease both of you back into the rotation. It’s the standard operating procedure when it comes to scandal.”

“Congratulations, Leah.” One of my interns smirked at me. “You’re full-on famous now.”

I ignored him. No use wasting energy on him when he was most likely unemployed. “What happens to Reno’s project?” I looked around the room. “And everyone here? I’m so sorry, you guys. I never, ever thought this would happen.”

I wished I had something to give them. Until then, a job had been enough.

“You’re free to complete Reno’s project on your own. Everything’s been paid for, and the network wouldn’t leave him with a half-renovated house. They have a big enough public relations nightmare on their hands without adding fuel to the fire.” Diane was so good at twisting the knife, she didn’t realize when she did it. “As for us, we’re technically employees of the network. They’re working on placing us in new positions.”

Finally, something Beth couldn’t destroy. For the first time since the scandal broke, I relaxed. “That’s wonderful. The worst part of this whole thing is that so many people have to suffer for something they didn’t do.”

“This could open up new doors for you.” Diane didn’t seem to consider any of this a bad thing. She’d reacted much worse to some of my design ideas. “I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but this is the best possible outcome of this situation. A lot of people really like you, Leah. That will work in your favor.”

Still, it was over. “I couldn’t have done any of this without all of you.” My voice shook. “Thank you. For everything.”

We said our awkward goodbyes. I held on to my job by a thread, but it didn’t mean I’d get my team back when my name was no longer mud. Without them, I may not be as successful. Shannon hugged me for a long time. At least we had a chance to promote her before the ax fell. “I’ll be in touch,” I whispered. She nodded.

I’d do everything I could to rebuild the lives I’d sent sideways. Just like we’d planned with the abandoned properties. We’d served one purpose, and now we had to figure out how to adapt.

“That went better than I expected. For once. Maybe things are turning around.” I was thankful Jagger had offered to drive. On the way there, I’d been a nervous wreck. I wasn’t sure which reporter had called to me about Kari, but now I had to find out what she meant.

I’m suspended pending further fucking investigation,
she texted. I hadn’t called her. On a normal day, she’d be at work, and texting was best. If I treated it like a normal day, maybe things would go back to normal.

Me too. Good thing we’re good at our jobs.
I punctuated it with a smiley face.

I work for the government. That means that they’re gathering the evidence to can me legally.

Your personal life has nothing to do with your job.
I could understand why Jagger and I got suspended, especially now that everyone knew how we met. But what Kari did in her personal life should be no concern.
Let’s think positive.

Right. Now I can concentrate on your case.

Jagger had been quiet since we left the meeting. I poured him a glass of wine and then put my knee between his on the couch. He put his hand behind me to steady me as I knelt before him. “What are you thinking about?”

He took a sip of his wine and tipped his head back. “You.”

I kissed him. Jagger put down his wine glass before committing to it fully. Sometimes, he communicated best through body language. Before he met me, he had a rule to never kiss his clients. After holding back for so many years, his kisses had a lot to say. Our first attempt to separate was unsuccessful. So wasn’t the second. And the third. “I always think about you,” I finally managed, putting my finger on his lips to keep myself away.

He pushed a curl away from my face, then traced the line of my cheekbone, brushing his fingers slowly across my lips. I closed my eyes and purred, opening my mouth so his finger would catch, but my eyes snapped open when he pulled it away.

“You love nothing more than to take care of people. You want to make things better. I’ve been watching you during this whole thing. You’ve kept your faith that everything will work out even as everything crumbles around you.”

“I’ve been through a lot worse than this. And I’ve always pulled myself out of it.” I wasn’t sure I liked where he was going with this. “What crushes me about this time is the collateral damage. After I talked to Kari, I thought about it. That client list could’ve been made public at any time if there are that many well-known people on it. Anyone who got a hint that they could milk it for a scandal. Unfortunately, we were the catalysts for it to actually happen.”

“I worry what will happen to you when things don’t get better.”

Nope, definitely didn’t like where he was going. “I can’t control what other people do. If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s that I can only take care of myself, and do the best I can for Raven. It’s time for her to start making her own decisions, and if they’re bad, I hope she learns from them. As long as you wake up in the morning, losing something makes room for new things. We’re lucky—we’re still getting paid through all of this. This is the time to do whatever we wanted to do. For me, that will mean getting back to private clients. For you, I hope that means the gallery.”

He nodded.

I sighed and climbed off his lap. “Just say it, Jagger. Whatever it is. Keeping it to yourself won’t make it better.”

“I go back to Miami tomorrow.” He had a hard time meeting my gaze and didn’t say anything else until he held it. “I think it’s best if we take some time to figure things out.”

“I knew it.” But it didn’t make it hurt any less. My body went numb as I absorbed what he actually meant. “Why? Everything’s already happened. Nothing bad can come of us staying together.”

Jagger stood, coming so close but not touching me. I wasn’t sure which would’ve been crueler. “I’m dragging you down. You need to be with someone who helps you fly.”

“Hey.” I grabbed a fistful of his shirt. I couldn’t let him get any further away from me. “You do. No, don’t shake your head. The only thing you can’t do for me is tell me how you make me feel. This sucks, there’s no way around it. But I don’t regret a single second we’ve spent together.”

I went up on my tiptoes to give him a kiss and he turned his fucking head.

“I don’t either. But people will look at you differently now. You’ll be the one with the scandal. Will that hold you back? I can’t do that to you, Leah.”

I closed my eyes, counting so I didn’t say
you already did
. “Do you run every time things get hard?” That wasn’t any better.

“I’ve been pushed away too many times.”

So he was playing defense, leaving me before I wrecked his heart. Jagger had been broken for so long he thought he was meant to be that way.

“This time, you’re wrong.”

L
eah

Jagger had one more night with me, and I was determined to convince him it wouldn’t be his last.

I couldn’t push him. I’d already talked him into quitting the only job he ever had and hounded him to take one he didn’t want. And sent it all raining down around him like sparks from an exploding volcano.

We’d been quiet since he made his wishes known. I figured he wanted to make sure he stuck with his decision, and I wanted to make sure I remembered every little thing about him. I wasn’t the photographer. I only had my memory to rely on. But like an old photograph, eventually that would fade, and get lost or destroyed.

Jagger lay in bed, staring into space before I shut the light off. He’d asked me if I wanted him to sleep on the couch but I refused. It wasn’t even an option. I had this horribly strong sense of déjà vu but pushed it down. Either we’d get through this, or we weren’t meant to.

Try telling that to my heart.

I slipped between the covers, feeling terribly overdressed in my pajamas. Sometimes we started the night fully dressed, but we never woke up that way. Once I settled, I rested my hand on his stomach. I usually used his chest as a pillow.

He didn’t acknowledge me. I moved up, stopping over his pounding heart. He sucked in a sharp breath, like I’d startled him, and he turned into me, cradling my face so he could kiss me.

My hands snaked up into his hair, pulling him down on top of me. This argument, disagreement, whatever the hell it was, was far from over. It didn’t matter that we didn’t have any more words that could make it better.

Maybe this could heal my broken heart.

“You are the world’s best kisser,” I whispered against his lips.

His smile blossomed against mine. “There’s no one in the world I’d rather kiss.”

Nope, heart still in pieces. “Then why are you doing this to me?”

“Because I hate hurting you.” Jagger went back to kissing me like he wasn’t saying goodbye. Instead, he tried to fill in all the places that had split open over the last few days. I lay down, willing him to follow me. My words may not be enough, but I hoped something would click for him. That he couldn’t possibly get on that plane in twelve hours and never do this again.

His hair framed my face, but his eyes still shone in the shadow. My hands were everywhere—memory wasn’t just visual. It was tactile, and as an artist, Jagger would understand that. I wouldn’t stop touching him until he walked away from me at the airport. If I let him.

Jagger slipped his hand under my tank top, unsure of himself like he’d never done it before. It was a completely different sensation than his usual expert touch. Wriggling underneath him, I gave him permission to take it off. I didn’t waste any time, and I got rid of the bottoms, too, and waited for his next move.

My cards were on the table. Chips in the middle. All in.

He kissed a line down the side of my neck, stopping in the spot that begged him to stay here with me. The light touch tickled my chest on his journey down. He hesitated between my breasts, flicking his gaze up to me.

“Why’d you stop?” I couldn’t give him a chance to change his mind.

“I was thinking.” He licked his lips before elaborating. “What it will be like.”

He didn’t add the rest—
without you.
Good thing. Staking me in the heart and letting me bleed out underneath him would’ve been kinder.

“You don’t have to.” I could barely get the words out. “You’re the one doing this. Nothing is tearing us apart but you.”

“We both know that’s not true.” He lowered his head, his hair tickling the crook of my neck.

I giggled. It was so inappropriate.

“What’s funny?” he asked. He settled beside me, bringing whatever he was doing to a crashing halt.
Damn it.

“I just thought of the beach, and that lady. I wonder if she’s telling everyone she saw me there.” I shuddered, but I wanted to remind him of when things were good. Funny, at the time, it seemed like a catastrophe. Now I’d do anything to get it back. “Of course, she’d have to admit she was there, too. I may be safe.”

“No way. She was an old pro. I bet all her friends meet there every Thursday and play volleyball.”

I laughed even harder. I didn’t care if Raven heard us all night long. “That would explain a lot.”

He grinned. “Never play nude volleyball.”

I’d been about to ask him if he’d invite me back, but I had a better idea.

Jagger was like a rag doll in my hands. Pushing his shoulders, I got him down on the mattress. It wasn’t always easy to move this massive wall of man. His hair was everywhere on the pillow, and he squinted at me when I gave him a quick kiss. I was aiming for his lips but I landed on his cheek, my lips scraping against the rough stubble. A quick sting, another wound to heal. Another scar I’d never forget.