Wrapped Around My Finger (20 page)

He groaned when my head disappeared under the sheet.

Like his head and his heart, Jagger’s body wasn’t a hundred percent convinced of what it wanted. His cock wasn’t totally hard when I slipped his shorts down his thighs. A piece of me took it as an omen, but the rest of me knew I was being completely unfair to him. And more so, to myself.

It didn’t take long for his body to come around, responding to my lips sliding down his shaft. I moved slowly, savoring the way he tasted, the way he felt, and the way his body moved under mine. He raked his fingers through my hair, grasping a handful of it tightly.
No, please don’t pull me away
, I’d never bring myself to say the words out loud. The only way I’d get through this was if I believed he still loved me.

I was all too willing to live a lie, even if it didn’t do me any good.

He didn’t pull me away. Instead, he guided me, praising me with nothing more than the flex of his hand and the brush of his fingertips. Sometimes we slipped into a place where words didn’t do either of us any justice.

I knew his body well enough to realize that Jagger was getting close to the breaking point. He moaned when I stopped, but we weren’t finished. Not by a long shot.

After I threw back the sheet, I pinned his hips down. He’d done this to me so many times, locked me in where he wanted me, and I loved it. In those moments, there was nothing else in his world but me. Still, he didn’t expect it. His head lifted from the pillow, and our gazes locked.

His damp hair clung to his cheek. He’d never looked more beautiful.

“Let me,” I said, breathlessly. Jagger’s head fell back, his eyes squeezed shut, and permission was granted.

He lay so still, like someone had sculpted him, and I took a second to drink it all in. The broad shoulders, the rippling muscles on his stomach, the narrow hips, and his cock standing at attention, waiting for me. His only movement was to grip the sheet like he’d just done to my hair. That little movement made everything inside me go wild. If I could figure out what was going on in his head, maybe I could figure out how to make him stay.

My legs trembled as I climbed over him, and his hips bucked up when I grabbed his cock. I thought about the night he insisted I tie him up and take control. This was more of a hostile takeover. It was overwhelming, the whole night was. I slipped down on his cock, stopping when he was buried completely in me. I couldn’t move. We were meant to be like this. Together.

Jagger’s eyes were still closed. Maybe we could get through this without him seeing me cry.

I moved back and forth, bracing myself with my hands on his chest. A tear dripped off my chin and splattered on his skin.
Shit.

He rolled up quickly, grabbing ahold of me before I lost my balance from the shock. His lips crashed against mine, urgent, hungry. They didn’t stay there long, trailing over to my cheeks, kissing the tears away.

My body slumped against his chest. I wasn’t pretending to be brave anymore. “I’m terrified of waking up tomorrow and saying goodbye. Watching you walk out the door.” I could barely get the words out. Even more than that, I was afraid of the next day, when I woke up alone. And all the next days after that.

“Shhh.” Jagger did all the things I couldn’t. He moved my body on top of his, but not with the furious rhythm that he usually did. Everything was in slow motion. Every stroke, every pulse inside me. We were so wrapped up in each other it didn’t leave much room to move.

He lasted much longer than I thought he would, but then again, time was standing still, and I had no desire to change that. I was totally, completely spent, and every part of me ached as he eased me down onto the bed. But my heart hurt the worst as I watched him walk away.

His eyes were so sad when he came back. His lips parted like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. Instead, he took the cloth and dragged it between my legs, wiping any trace of him away.

“Why do you do that?” I usually loved it. Such a sweet gesture that made me feel loved. But tonight all my emotions had been sucked into a funnel cloud and I didn’t know what any of them meant.

Jagger had to think about his answer. “It’s part of it for me.”

“Part of what? The job?” His shoulders slumped and I wished I hadn’t said it.

“Old habits die hard, Leah.”

Finally, I understood. I didn’t believe for a second that Jagger was merely going through the motions with me. But he’d protected himself for so long. Never let himself get attached. He’d locked his heart in a vault and lost the key. He hadn’t meant for his life to turn out how it did, but he didn’t know any other way.

Jagger didn’t know his worth, and worse, he was aware of what he didn’t know. It was probably why he resisted taking my job for so long, and why he thought walking away from me was the best course of action.

I could sympathize because I’d been through it.

As much as I hated it, I couldn’t fix this for him. I had to let him go—to find whatever it was he was looking for on his own.

L
eah

“I love you,” Jagger said, but the words bounced off me. He was blurred through my tears. “And I always will. No matter what happens.”

“Bullshit.” I grasped his jacket as he stood in the open doorway of my house. I knew he had to do this, but it didn’t mean I had to like it. I didn’t care if the last of the remaining reporters saw us. None of it mattered anymore. “What if we can’t come back from this?”

I didn’t even want to think about it.

The driver leaned on his horn, his schedule more important that Jagger’s attempt to escape from the mess that had been created for us. Jagger released my grip from his clothes, kissing both hands before bringing them back to my body. He took each stair slowly, looking back after every step.

I stood in the open doorway, shell-shocked and mostly oblivious to the audience snapping my picture until traffic swallowed the town car.

“Ma, come in the house.” Raven gently tugged on my hand. It had hung limply by my side, still stinging from the tattoo of Jagger’s lips. Like real ink, the wound would take some time to heal, and it was permanent. “Standing there won’t bring him back.”

After another tug, she closed the door, that chapter of my life, and guided me to the couch.

“You must be thrilled about this.”

Raven frowned and handed me a cup of coffee. “No, I’m not. I hate the whole situation, but I like Jagger. He makes you happy. And you’re my mom.”

The only silver lining to this awful morning was that Raven finally seemed to understand. I’d asked her to act like an adult, and she did her best to lift me up this morning.

“Thank you.” I reached for her hand, loving the shy smile she offered. That was my Ray. The one I’d missed so much. “For finally being able to put all the crap aside and see what really matters.”

“I listened in this morning. It was hard not to, you were crying so hard. Of course, I told Jagger what a jerk I thought he was when I saw him in the hallway. He...” She hesitated.

“Tell me. You can’t possibly make it worse.”

“That’s it. He thinks he’s making this whole thing worse. He really believes that his leaving is best, for you. Not for him. So when he says give it some time, he means it. He loves you, and if it means that you’re better off without him, he’s willing to give that to you.”

Those were Jagger’s words, and they sounded so much clearer coming out of my daughter’s mouth. “I’ve been such a mess all morning I didn’t even know you did that.” I put down the mug and hugged Raven, giggling against her shoulder, picturing my shy girl confronting Jagger. I loved it for so many reasons. A little bit of what I’d been trying to get across to her had actually sunk in. She wasn’t afraid to stand up for what she thought was right. “I need you more than ever right now. Tomorrow, you have to go back to school. But today, let’s have a girls’ day. Ice cream for breakfast. It’s time to brave the outside world again. Take it back. I need to get stuff for Reno’s house, and you’re welcome to come with me.”

I had Raven at ice cream. And if I didn’t stay busy I’d go crazy thinking about Jagger. “That sounds good. I vote for sundaes. But I thought you lost your job?” she asked.

“Kinda, sorta, but not really. Whether it’s on TV or not, the network owes Reno a complete renovation. I’m actually looking forward to diving into this. We can do whatever we want without worrying about what the producers think.”

“You did complain about the producers and the network a lot,” Raven pointed out. “And some of the stuff they made you do was not good. I knew it wasn’t your style as soon as saw it.”

“Whoever’s footing the bill gets the final say.” And sometimes that was painful. “You’ll learn that once you get a job.”

Raven wrinkled her nose. “Reno’s making out. Your stuff is so much better when you do it on your own.”

“And I think it will even better when you help me.”

**

K
ari looked like a wet cat when she got to Reno’s house. Eyebrows low, and she’d have her ears back if it was possible. I was glad I had a power tool in hand. Raven and I had spent the weekend putting the finishing touches on the living area. It looked amazing. The green couch was the focal point, and we used blues and yellows as our accent colors. I’d found some deco-style paintings and got a couple of plants I hoped wouldn’t be sacrificed to the workaholic gods. The kitchen underwent a total overhaul, and when Kari came in, I’d been putting in the new cabinet pulls while I sang along to the radio.

I poured my heart and soul into this project. Anything to keep my mind off Jagger. We’d talked a few times since he left, but he hadn’t answered my texts or calls all weekend and it was bound to drive me insane. I had to make something pretty again since everything else had crumbled around me.

“You should consider changing your name,” she said. It wasn’t the time to fish for a compliment on the island she put the wine bottles down on, but damn, that thing was awesome. She’d appreciate it later. “I’ve spent the entire afternoon convincing some powerful women not to sue you.”

“I like my name.” I changed my last name back to my maiden name as soon as I had a chance. “And I hope you mentioned that they have absolutely no reason to sue me.”

“They see you as the catalyst for them either having to pay up to keep things hush or losing their jobs.” Like Kari did. “We’ve already determined that Beth doesn’t have a pot to piss in. But you do. Don’t worry about it. They’d have to go public with the fact they used the agency if they sued you. Because no one wants to do that, you’re safe.”

“Then why did you even mention it?” Because I’d organized Reno’s kitchen, I knew where everything was. I needed the corkscrew right now. “Listen, I’m sorry that I thought your suggestion was a good idea. I’m sorry that I met someone I really liked, and I’m more than sorry that we grew up in a town where the high school bullies never got over their bitterness. But I need you to be picking up the pieces with me right now, not grinding them into the dirt with your shoe.”

“I’m handling your lawsuit.” Kari took a long sip of the wine I poured for her. “Which I can give my full attention to, now that I’m unemployed.”

Kari was all hard edges. She’d developed a thick skin early, thanks to Beth and Shelley, and honed it to finely crafted leather as she became successful in her career. We’d always complemented each other, the dreamer and the realist. The shy mom and the take-no-shit lawyer. I changed, and Rich, Shelley, and Beth weren’t the only people from my past who refused to accept it. My best friend didn’t, either. “No, you’re not. I’m your client. And if you spin this right, you’ll have a whole new career waiting for you.”

Reno walked in the door, a bag of groceries in his arm. His timing was perfect—Kari and I were headed for a full blown argument. We needed to have it, but that wasn’t the time. I needed one good thing to happen, and right then, it was her boyfriend and the loaf of bread he set on the counter.

“Hey, ladies,” he said after giving Kari a kiss. He kissed me on the cheek, too. “Looks great in here. The island makes all the difference.”

“That’s what changed!” Kari ran her hand along the marble, smiling like we hadn’t been at each other’s throats seconds before he opened the door. Her performance sucked. “I like it.”

“Thanks.” I picked up the electric screwdriver and the last drawer pull.

Reno took it away from me. “I can do that. Relax. Both of you.”

Kari and I side-eyed each other. It wasn’t a concept either of us was familiar with.

“Leah, you did a gorgeous job. Better than I could’ve imagined. Now it’s my turn to make good on our deal. You asked for dinner. I’m going to make you one hell of a dinner. But I have a request.”

“Those usually come later.” Kari wiggled her eyebrows.

“Not that kind.” I loved that Reno blushed. “I don’t want to hear anything about lawsuits, work, or the people you grew up with. I asked Leah to renovate my house because I wanted a place where I could get away from all that shit.” He put his hand up empathically. “Don’t pollute my new kitchen with shit!”

Everybody burst out laughing. Kari got up and tried to give him another kiss, but Reno shrugged her off. He was in the zone. Even better, he was more stubborn than she was. I didn’t think that was possible.

“I’m cooking. Spend time with Leah.”

Kari pulled up a chair to the island. “Before all the shit hit the fan—“ he gave her a warning glare, “—we used to talk about men. And food. Can’t do that with you here.”

“Sure you can. You can tell her how amazing I am.”

She didn’t have to tell me. He made lobster piccata with zucchini noodles and limoncello mousse for dessert. I’d always loved cooking but watching Reno in action was like watching an Olympic ice skater. Everything was perfectly timed, measured, and seasoned. And the presentation—it was almost too pretty to eat, which would’ve been a shame. If I were headed to the electric chair, I’d want Reno to cook my last meal.

He joined us for dinner, sitting close to Kari like we were at a tiny table. He was a lot like her, a workaholic who fought for everything he’d accomplished, but he had a soft side, too. He looked at Kari like she was the only woman on Earth.