Writing the TV Drama Series 3rd Edition: How to Succeed as a Professional Writer in TV (18 page)

She is. I’m sorry.

MISS SAVINO

She was in our own apartment. She was at her own window.

SIMONE

Why don’t you sit down.

MISS SAVINO

That’s my mother.

SIMONE

I know, I’m sorry.

Miss Savino raises her hands to her face and sobs as Sipowicz comes through the doorway slightly out of breath, followed by E.M.S. personnel, who go directly to the body.

SIPOWICZ

What happened?

Simone pushes back the window curtain. A hole is revealed in the glass where a shot entered, killing the woman.

SIMONE

Stray from the street.

Off which --

CUT TO:

9   EXT. PRECINCT - DAY          9

To establish --

10  INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY          10

Fancy clears the stairs, enters the Squad, approaching Lesniak at her desk. He keeps his voice quiet.

FANCY

How are you feeling?

Lesniak gestures defeatedly -- doesn’t say much so she won’t cry.

LESNIAK

I’m upset.

Fancy nods.

FANCY

I.A.B. Just took him to Bellevue on a seventy-two hour evaluation.

LESNIAK

And he’s a collar, right?

FANCY

(nods)

I alerted the D.A. and Corrections, if he goes into the system we’re going to be notified.

A beat, then --

LESNIAK

What happened, that’s the thing I kept seeing in my mind. I kept being afraid that was going to happen.

FANCY

Adrianne, you want to put a twenty-eight in, try it again tomorrow?

She shakes her head no.

LESNIAK

I’d like to try it today.

FANCY

Pay attention to how you’re feeling.

LESNIAK

Okay. Thanks.

Fancy nods, moves off, joining the just-arrived Sipowicz. Off Lesniak --

11  ANGLE - SIPOWICZ AND FANCY          11

FANCY

I heard there was a second D.O.A.

SIPOWICZ

Eighty-two year old woman sitting at her window.

FANCY

The world’s coming up here ’cause it’s Martarano’s son. Organized Crime, Intelligence …

SIPOWICZ

(sarcastic)

Now I know the case’ll clear.

FANCY

Anything off canvass?

SIPOWICZ

No witnesses. He was banging a model lived in the building. Simone’s finding out where we can pick her up.

They look toward Simone at Kelly’s old desk --

FANCY

How’s that going?

SIPOWICZ

(re Simone)

You know he drove for the P.C.?

FANCY

(nods)

I saw that was his last detail.

SIPOWICZ

(more trying this attitude on than genuinely irritated)

I take twenty-two years making second grade, he gets it for shooing away squeegee-bums.

Fancy lets it go, heads for his office. Sipowicz moves to Simone at his desk.

SIMONE

(covers the receiver with his hand)

The agency told me where she’s working. Give me half a minute.

Sipowicz nods, looks to where COSTAS has just entered, moves to her --

SIPOWICZ

How’s it going?

COSTAS

I was just seeing to Abruzzo.

(re Simone)

Is that the new Detective?

SIPOWICZ

(nods)

Simone, what kind of name is that?

COSTAS

First or last?

SIPOWICZ

If it was his first he’d be a girl.

COSTAS

Last name Simone sounds French.

SIPOWICZ

Yeah, maybe.

They’re both looking toward Simone, react as he raises his voice --

SIMONE

Hey, I went through a lot of effort getting that red cock. I don’t want to lose its color.

(beat)

I don’t want to argue about this. You tell Billy he can’t be around my place with his blue-barred cock. Okay thanks.

Simone hangs up. He sees them looking at him --

SIMONE (CONT’D)

I breed birds. Racing pigeons.

Costas nods. Then quietly, to Sipowicz --

COSTAS

Tell him you keep fish.

Sipowicz shakes his head no. Simone’s collected his materials, approaches--

SIPOWICZ

(indicates Costas)

Assistant D.A. Costas.

SIMONE

How do you do?

COSTAS

How do you do.

SIPOWICZ

(to Simone)

They gave you that address?

SIMONE

Yeah, she’s working on Seventh Avenue.

A beat, then --

COSTAS

Must be interesting raising pigeons.

SIMONE

It’s a lot of fun, gets you outdoors.

COSTAS

You people and your hobbies.

SIPOWICZ

(to Simone)

Let’s go.

Off which --

CUT TO:

12  INT. A GARMENT SHOWROOM - 7TH AVENUE - DAY          12

The place is chaos, hung with cigar smoke as buyers move among sellers and brokers beside a flood-lit ramp, where models parade a spring line. Sipowicz and Simone push their way through, following THELMA LEVY, a tailored fiftyish woman, wearing a no-nonsense expression.

LEVY

How long will this tie her up?

SIPOWICZ

We won’t know till we talk to her.

LEVY

And it couldn’t wait until after she finishes work.

SIPOWICZ

NO.

She leads them into --

13  INT. A DRESSING ROOM - DAY          13

Sipowicz and Simone can’t help but look around as they are suddenly amidst a plethora of nubile bodies in various stages of undress. Dressers move excitedly in front of them as clothes are whipped on and off. Ms. Levy stops them.

LEVY

Wait here, I’ll get her.

The work is so concentrated and frenetic that for the most part they are ignored by the nude models attended by ranks of fey male dressers and a few female fitters.

The talk level is deafening. As Sipowicz mops his brow Simone observes good-humoredly --

SIMONE

What a country huh?

Ms. Levy appears with PAULA ANDERSON, good-looking, lots of make-up and a pill-assisted figure.

LEVY

Make it as quick as you can.

Levy moves off --

SIPOWICZ

I’m Detective Sipowicz, this is Detective Simone.

PAULA

What’s going on?

SIPOWICZ

Do you know Raymond Martarano, Jr.?

PAULA

Yes.

SIMONE

When’s the last time you saw him?

PAULA

We partied last night, then I had to come to work.

SIMONE

You left him at your apartment?

PAULA

What’s going on?

SIPOWICZ

He was murdered this morning outside your building. Your downstairs neighbor was killed by a stray bullet.

Paula takes this in.

PAULA

Which downstairs neighbor?

SIPOWICZ

Mrs. Savino.

It seems like a struggle for Paula to keep her hard edge.

PAULA

I don’t know anything about it.

SIPOWICZ

Why don’t you come to the Station House so we can get the background on this.

PAULA

I’m working.

SIPOWICZ

Well, now you’re not working. Now you’re coming with us to the Station House.

Simone holds a robe out for her to cover herself --

SIMONE

Why don’t you get dressed Paula?

The tone of which seems to circumvent her resistance. As Paula puts the robe on --

FADE OUT.

END ACT ONE

A
NALYSIS

Before we get into content, notice that a TV drama script looks just like a theatrical screenplay. This might be news if you’ve written sitcoms because half-hour comedies use a unique form. Most screenwriting software will give you format options, so choose “standard,” “screenplay,” or whatever term your system uses for writing movies. And, of course, you know better than to use a divided page or anything called “video.”

Now, I said this show starts with a teaser which precedes Act One, yet you see no heading. Some series do write TEASER in the beginning, then they FADE OUT at the end of the teaser and start a new page headed ACT ONE. Other shows start with ACT ONE at the top of Page One, whether or not there’s a teaser. The only way to know what a particular show does is check out one of their sample scripts. In any case, Acts Two, Three and Four will begin on new pages and be headed ACT TWO and so forth, centered at the top.

OPENING SCENES

Look at #1, which simply establishes the Precinct building. Is that a scene? No! Remember, I told you a scene is a dramatic beat, not a production location. This kind of shot merely tells viewers where we are.

#2 opens the action with a personal detail that speaks volumes without dialogue. Think about what is revealed when a man tries on reading glasses for the first time. What do you suppose is in the character’s mind? Notice how he hides them the moment Simone enters. In
Chapter One
, I spoke about the essential intimacy of television, and here it is: In his private moment, Sipowicz is self-conscious about aging. Insecurity that his eyesight is weakening gives viewers a window to his need to prove his status in this episode.

The Simone character is played by a younger man — tall, handsome Jimmy Smits. In comparison with Sipowicz — fat, balding and now needing glasses — the rivalry is set in motion from their first appearance. The script doesn’t spell out how each man looks — that’s not necessary in a TV series where everyone working on the show knows who the actors are. In fact, character tags, which are common in features, are slight if they’re included here at all. Still, everything you need emotionally is on the page in this tiny moment.

Notice also that dialogue begins on Page One. That’s normal for television, though you might have read features (especially older ones) where description, atmosphere, and action without speech occupy the first few pages. Look at the kind of dialogue on the first page, though. It seems like they’re saying nothing except hello. That’s not really what’s going on, though, is it? You want to aim for dialogue that is both natural and withheld. In other words, let viewers sense the meaning under the surface without hitting it on the head, as much as you can.

You could analyze that the first scene of this teaser ends at the bottom of page one when Simone crosses off the name of Sipowicz’s former partner and writes his own. It’s a gesture of power in a beat that’s all about relative power. But to understand the dramatic flow, I’d rather turn the page because the same tension continues into the outer rooms.

From having “lost” the unspoken battle with Simone (which is only in his own mind), Sipowicz barrels out to his boss, Lt. Fancy, in #4, and complains about the new guy. From a dramatic point of view, this page could be interpreted as a whole scene too because it has conflict between characters, however subtle: Sipowicz wants to reclaim his power by getting rid of Simone, but Fancy resists. At the end, when Fancy worsens Sipowicz’ problem by ordering him to work with Simone and teach him, Sipowicz reasserts his theme that started on the first page, “I need glasses and everything else.”

Though you could argue that two distinct scenes start this story, I’ll group the first two and a half pages (slug lines 1 through 4) into a single beat to help you visualize the storytelling. Let’s name this story “A,” because it has the most resonance for the series as a whole (even though it actually doesn’t occupy the largest proportion of pages in the full script). On Page 62, at the very end of the episode (not printed here), this opening moment is paid off when Sipowicz allows Simone to see him put on the new glasses, and he allows himself the vulnerability, “I got to wear glasses now.” Their arc won’t really end for four years, but this episode accomplishes a full step.

If you’re filling in the grid, you would write “A” in the space next to the “T” for teaser. The log line for story “A” might be something like: “Sipowicz feels threatened when his new partner Simone arrives.” Other wordings are also possible, of course. The point isn’t what you call a story but how well you attach it to the drive of a continuing character.

The teaser’s not over, though. Here comes the Lesniak story that I’ll call “C.” Without the full episode, you’d have no way of knowing where this one is going or how it measures against the rest of the script, so I’ll just tell you. Detective Adrienne Lesniak is a continuing character whose problems with her ex-boyfriend (Abruzzo) appeared in previous shows, and this beat is part of her ongoing struggle to be free of him. But it really does more in this episode: Thematically it leverages a story with a guest cast which will begin in Act Two. That “C” story will require Lesniak to deal with women who have been abused by a man. As those female characters struggle to find courage to defend themselves against their abuser, Lesniak’s personal search gives the case a deeper meaning for the audience.

The entire Lesniak/Abruzzo encounter runs almost three pages under scene heading #5, but you’ll easily see it has several smaller components: the initial conflict between Lesniak and Abruzzo, then the fight which also involves Sipowicz and Simone, and finally the resolution with Lt. Fancy. By the time this scene is done, not only is Lesniak changed, but Simone has also been introduced to the squad in a dynamic way, and through the fight the balance between Simone and Sipowicz has budged a bit too.

If you’re keeping notes on the grid, you’d write “C” next to where you wrote “A” for the teaser, because this opening has two beats.

The only way you know this scene ends the teaser is the transition “SMASH CUT TO” (at the bottom of Page 5 in the script) and “MAIN TITLES” (at the top of Page 6). ACT ONE begins right after the main titles, though this series doesn’t state that on the page.

Scene 1

#6 is a whole scene even though it’s less than a page long. Read it again and find the dramatic elements: Who is the protagonist? Who is the antagonist? What does the protagonist want which is opposed by the antagonist? Where is the climax of their conflict? How does it resolve? No, I’m not going to tell you the answers. This is good practice for tight scene writing and to grasp how character arcs are progressed. You might ask those same questions about every scene you write. Notice also that no scene exists merely to explore character. Simone and Sipowicz are on the trail of a murder while this beat happens.