Written on Her Heart (19 page)

Peter turned on her. “Is this the kind of thing you two discuss?”

“No,” Andi shook her head. “I—”

Ford snorted. “She doesn’t need to say anything. I’m just telling you what I see.”

“Right.” Peter clenched his teeth. “And what about Rachel? Where does she fit in this grand plan, or are you just playing her, too? Is that what you do, Ford Delaney? You just play everyone around you like pawns, use them to your advantage to get the next plot of your book, then dispose of them?”

Andi’s sucked in a sharp breath. She couldn’t believe her ears, but Ford seemed to remain unfazed, his tone calm. “Rachel and I have gone out occasionally. We enjoy each other’s company. That is all. Nothing more.”

“But you know you’re forming a wedge between them, don’t you? Looks like I’m not the only one who’s selfish.”

Silence filled the table. Andi picked at her food, nervously glancing between them, knowing the conversation was out of hand, but unsure of what to say to stop it. Rachel’s milky complexion had gone pink, but when their eyes met, she flashed Andi a hint of a smile, her cheeks blooming red, while she shifted in her seat.

Torn between not wanting to upset Peter any further and not wanting to get in trouble with her employer, Andi said, “Guys, this is pointless. Can we please just stop this and talk about something else?” But neither man seemed to hear her. They continued to glare at each other over their meals.

“You’re a real piece of work.” Ford took a sip of his wine, his voice turning cold for the first time. “You know, you can insult me and say whatever you want about my personal life, my work, but at the end of the day, Andi is still going to have the same goals, the same dreams. And at the end of the day, I’m the only one who can help get her there. That won’t change. Her dreams won’t change. So I suggest if you want any chance of keeping her, you get used to it and hand her over.”

Hand her over?
“Whoa,” she croaked. Her stomach pitched and rolled as if she were seasick. “Excuse me, but I’m not a toy.”

“Well, I’m sorry if I’m not going to take advice from a man who has known me for all of twenty minutes.” Peter said, ignoring her. He wore his anger on his face, eyes crinkled, mouth and forehead tight. “You don’t have a right to define the relationship I have with my girlfriend. You’re her boss. Nothing more. You can fool her into thinking you’re this noble guy. That you have no interest in her. But I know better. And no matter how much you help her during the day,
with her work,
she’s still coming home to me at night. To my bed. Remember that.” Peter threw his napkin on the table and stood. “Come on, Andi. I think it’s time for us to go.”

Andi’s gaze moved between both men, but Ford wouldn’t meet her eyes. She stood, anger searing through her veins like acid. Ignoring Peter’s outstretched hand, she brushed past him toward the exit.

How could he say those things to Ford? How could he make that entire conversation into some kind of pissing match? And Ford was no better. How could he be so blatantly possessive? He had no right!

Andi stomped outside and paused just outside the restaurant doors. The blue sky had turned a murky indigo with the beginning of nightfall. The air was thick with moisture. Cars slowly passed, their taillights gleaming a fiery red.

At the sound of Peter behind her, Andi whirled around. “What the hell was that?”

“I’m sorry, but that guy…” Peter ran a hand over the back of his neck and spoke through clenched teeth. “He did that on purpose.”

Andi flung her arms out. “Did what?”

“Got between us. He knew exactly what to say and exactly what he was doing.”

“As I recall, you did a pretty damned good job of egging him on.” She stepped toward him. “What is wrong with you? He’s my
boss
. Maybe he’s condescending and a little out of line—”

Peter laughed. “Just a little? Try a lot!”

“If I lose this job, my whole—”

“I know. Your whole career relies on that asshole. I’ve heard it all before. But you know what? I’m so damn sick of hearing about how much your career relies on Ford Delaney. That’s a choice. It doesn’t have to!” He stabbed a finger at the ground. “And if your work is as brilliant as he says, you can get a publishing deal on your own. You don’t need him, that fucking job,
or
his harassment.”

Andi laughed. “Right. But you don’t even like the kind of stories I write, so if I asked you, you’d tell me I could do better, that they’re not good enough.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes it is, and you know nothing about the industry. I talk about it, but your eyes just glaze over, so you have no idea what I’m up against. How hard this is.”

“Oh. You mean, like when I was trying to talk to you about
my
work tonight?”

“That’s different.”

“Of course, it is.” Peter kicked at a rock on the sidewalk, propelling it at the tire of a passing car.

“Without Ford, maybe I get a contract, a small one, where the publisher invests no money and little time into my book and my brand.
If
I get a deal. But if it’s through Ford, I’d get a better deal. I’d get media attention. I’d get a publicist who invests in me. There’s a lot more to being successful at this than just getting a book deal.”

“At what cost? This job, this dream, is tearing us apart right now.” He grabbed her hand. The pleading in his eyes replaced the anger. “I thought you cared about us. Right now, you’re letting us fall apart. And for what?”

“He’s helping me,” she said, her voice shaking. “That’s all.” She didn’t want him to put this on her, not now.

He stared at her, his gaze moving over her face, taking her in. “Do you have feelings for him? Is that what this is all about?”

Andi shook her head. “No,” she said, but her voice cracked on the single word.

“I see.” He snickered and ran his hands over his face. “Oh my God. How could I be so stupid?”

Andi stepped forward, reaching out to him. “I don’t,” she said, trying to believe the words. “I don’t.” She took a deep breath. “But he tried to kiss me.”

He nodded as if he needed to digest what she’d just told him.  “This just keeps getting better and better.” He paced back and forth in front of her, his golden hair flickering in the breeze. “He
tried
to kiss you. That’s all?”

Andi glanced away from him, remembering the feeling of his lips on hers at the cove, but there was no way she could tell him about that when she had no idea herself what had really happened. What would she say?
Well, he might have
actually
kissed me. Either that, or I dreamed it, but I can’t be sure …

She nodded. “Yes. He tried, but I told him our relationship had to remain strictly professional. I drew the line.”

Giant banners were strung everywhere. Tables covered the town sidewalks, displaying local wares, sea glass, handmade jewelry, baked goods and more. The fish stand was the biggest. With Lake Erie being the walleye capital of the world, local fishermen prepared for the Surf and Turf Festival with hundreds of pounds of freshly caught fish. Vendors fried the fillets and heaped them in large baskets.

The Surf and Turf Festival was one of the biggest in the state. Held on the first week of July, it brought tourists to the area, ones who took the holiday week off to vacation near the water. Normally, the festival was one Andi looked forward to, but today, she found herself wandering the sidewalks alone, unable to fully immerse herself in the town’s festivities. Peter wouldn’t be there. She knew this not because she’d talked to him since their fight at the restaurant last night, but because she knew he had a meeting with his research assistant. It was just as well, anyway. Their argument had stayed with her all through the night and into the morning. Her life at Ohio State with Peter had been so uncomplicated that the recent drama, since her return home, almost seemed surreal. They hardly ever argued. But now, as they seemed to be unraveling with the least bit of interference, she wondered if that control, their “perfect” relationship, had all been just a fa
ç
ade. The thought saddened her.

She moved past the throng of people at the fish and chips stand, bypassing the booth her parents ran for the church. She had avoided them once already this morning and wasn’t in the mood for small talk.

Moving around the vineyard booths, which offered local wine tasting, Mr. Carr, owner of Gull Valley Vineyards, spotted her and raised a cup. “Andi, wanna try some wine? I’ve got the kind you like.” He smiled and waved her forward, but Andi shook her head and politely refused, hoping he didn’t continue to rope her in, but a group of middle-aged women flocked to the booth and saved her.

Andi scanned the faces around her for Carma. She needed to talk, and though she would’ve preferred somewhere more private, Carma was supposed to work one of the booths, so meeting her at home wasn’t an option. She hated that she couldn’t talk to Rachel, but her close involvement in the situation made that impossible, and since Andi had to return to work tomorrow, she wanted some perspective before facing Ford, something only a girlfriend could give her.

A hint of strawberry blond caught her eye, and she stood on her tiptoes, straining to see through the people milling about. Seconds later, Carma emerged past a family by the harbor and smiled. She drew closer and gave Andi a quick hug. “I don’t have long. Old man Wassar will have my head if I don’t get back there on time to sell scoops.”

Andi nodded and glanced down at her hands, wondering why the people you loved had a way of bringing emotion to the surface. Everything hit her at once. A lump formed in her throat and her chest tightened.

“What is it?” Carma stepped forward, her face a mask of concern.

Andi swallowed over the lump and winced. “I really need a friend right now.” Her voice shook and just like that, the tight grip she held on her emotions snapped and everything she had been holding onto since her return home exploded inside of her. Tears, long suppressed, rolled down her face.

“Uh-oh.” Carma leaned in and rubbed Andi’s arm. “Come on, let’s talk.” She grabbed Andi by the elbow and led her to a half-empty bench just in front of the docks.

As they sat, Andi noticed the dark circles that ringed Carma’s eyes, and she stumbled on the memory of the bruises covering Carma’s arms those weeks ago at the cove.

“What’s going on? More drama with Rachel?” Carma smiled and patted Andi’s back, making the memory of Carma’s tired eyes disappear.

“Not exactly.” She sighed.

“What is it, then?”

“I think I may have kissed Ford. Except it might have just been a dream, or an oxygen deprived delusion of some sort. I don’t know.”

Carma raised a brow. “Um, why would you be having—as you call it—an oxygen deprived delusion?”

“Because I almost drowned.”

Carma gasped. “What?”

Andi ran a hand over her face. “It’s a long story, but the real problem is that Peter and I are going at it. And I don’t mean in a good way. We’ve been fighting constantly, and I can’t seem to get Ford out of my head. We’ve had all these deep talks, and prior to the drowning incident, we came close several times to kissing. There’s this … raw chemistry there, like I’ve never experienced before. He just gets me. But it’s so weird because it’s been such a short amount of time. I don’t know how to explain it, but I can’t tell Peter. He already hates him and is suspicious of this job as it is. Yesterday, all four of us had dinner together—”

“Hold up.” Carma narrowed her eyes. “All four of you? As in you, Peter, Ford, and Rachel?”

“Yes.” Andi took a deep breath.

Carma whistled.  “Wow, I bet that was fun. Whose brilliant idea was that?”

“It just sort of happened, but it was a complete disaster, as I’m sure you can imagine. Peter and Ford got into it about Peter not supporting me. They went at it like dogs. It was crazy. And awkward. And weird, since Ford has barely even spoken to me these last weeks.” She pressed her face into her hands. “I have no idea what to do. Rachel is the least of my worries at this point.”

“Do you think you have feelings for Ford? Or do you think you’re just enamored with him because of who he is? That wouldn’t be out of the question. You look up to him. He’s everything you hope to be one day. Well, minus all the drama with the media.”

Andi removed her hands from her face. “You think that’s all it is?”

“I think there’s a really good possibility…”

“Yes,” Andi said, staring down at her hands, smiling. Glancing back up at Carma, she reached out and squeezed her arm. “Yes, thank you. That’s probably it. I’m just transferring my admiration into feelings for him, when in reality it’s probably just a celebrity crush.”

Carma laughed. “Yeah, like the time you fell in love with Josh Hartnett after the movie Pearl Harbor came out, and you were completely obsessed. We were—what—twelve? This sounds much like the same thing.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go
that
far. This is a real situation. And I hardly have the feelings of a twelve-year-old anymore.”

“All I’m saying is that if you really look at it, what’s the real problem? You got your dream job and it sounds like you have two amazing men fighting over you. The ball’s in your court. You can choose to do whatever you want with them, with your life…” Carma trailed off, her gaze catching on something in the distance. As she stared, her face fell and her expression turned cold.

Andi twisted in her seat, meeting the direction of Carma’s gaze. Several yards away, she spotted her stepfather talking to one of the local fishermen. He laughed and slapped the man next to him on the back before turning his gaze to Andi and Carma. Then he winked.

Andi hesitated. The hair on her arms rose. She flashed him a quick smile, then turned to Carma, who stared ahead, her eyes blank.

“Carma?” Andi nudged her.

Carma jumped, blinking as her eyes focused back on Andi.

“Um…” Andi said, unsure of what just happened.  “Where were we?” she asked, shaking her head. “Oh, yeah. It’s a little more complicated than that. I don’t know how I feel about anything anymore. I’m confused and I feel like I’m losing control—”

Carma snorted. “Is that what this is really about?”

Andi stared at her and straightened in her seat.

“Andi Callaway is losing control of her carefully constructed life? Maybe you’re finally seeing that real life isn’t always as easy as it’s been for you this entire time.” She crossed her arms, her demeanor noticeably different.

“Are you upset? Is something wrong?”  When she said nothing, Andi continued, “You’re my friend. I just needed to talk.”

Carma sighed and said nothing for a moment, her gaze flickering back in the direction of her stepfather, then to Andi again.

“That’s the problem. It’s all about you.
You
need a friend.
You’re
confused. You, you, you! Yes, you did something. You took that job. After I asked you not to. I flat out asked you as a friend to flop so that I could have it. I told you I needed it. I was desperate, but you chose the job instead. You chose not to help me. And I’ve tried to be there for you, but…”

Andi flinched, wondering where Carma had stored her feelings this whole time. “Rachel interviewed too. And she’s still trying to take the job off of me.”

“Exactly. And you’re pissed at her about it.”

“So you’re calling me selfish? This is a huge leap toward my dream. This job is nothing for you. Yet you asked me to give it up. In fact, you both know he’s been my idol since he started writing, yet neither of you even told me about your interviews. I should be the one who’s mad.”

Carma braced her hands on the table beside her on the bench. “When are you going to wake up and see what’s going on around you? Your problems are nothing in the real world. You live in a bubble—”

Andi sucked in a breath. “Whoa. I’ve never said my problems were worse than anyone else’s, but why do I have a feeling this isn’t really about me?”

Carma rolled her eyes. “Do you think I asked you to give up that job just for the hell of it? Do you think I’m like Rachel and just wanted a husband out of it?”

“No, of course not.” Andi’s head spun, wondering how their conversation had gotten to this point. One minute, Carma was her friend and things were normal, and the next she was a completely different person.

“I really needed that job.” Carma’s voice hitched and her face crumpled in grief. “Things just come easy for you. They always have and they always will. That’s why this drama, these complications right now, are so hard for you to handle. You’ve never had to deal with this type of thing before. And I’ve never begrudged you for it. As a friend, all these years, I’ve never once cared that everything seemed to come naturally to you, that you won every contest you entered, that luck just seemed to follow you. Until now. The second I saw you in that office, I knew you’d get the job. And the one time I needed something from you, the one time I needed you to be a real friend and give something up, you chose yourself.”

Andi had no idea what to say. She sat on the bench, floored by the things Carma said. When she opened her mouth, she said the first thing that came to mind. “Maybe if you would’ve explained why you wanted the job, I would’ve understood. All I knew about it was what I’ve known for years. That you despise your stepfather and want nothing more than to get away from him.”

And that was when it clicked.

“Something’s going on with him, isn’t it?” Andi asked, searching Carma’s face for the truth. “Something big. Something you’ve never told us.”

“I couldn’t tell you.” Carma’s chest heaved. She blinked and several tears streamed down her face.

Andi leaned forward, forgetting her own problems. She put her arm around her best friend, trying to quiet her tears. “Tell me now. Carma, what the hell’s going on? You’ve always been quiet, but you’ve been more distant lately. Then your reaction when I asked you about the bruises, the dark circles under your eyes … and now you’re accusing me of being selfish. Maybe I am, but I don’t think that’s what this is about. Why don’t you just tell me what the real problem is? Tell me and I’ll understand.”

“I can’t…” Carma sniffed and wiped her eyes.

“How am I ever supposed to understand if you won’t tell me? You’re putting all this blame on me, yet you won’t even tell me what’s gotten into you, so what am I supposed to do?” Andi threw her hands up. “I’m at a loss, because I
am
your friend. I do want to help you, but I can’t if you won’t—”

“He raped me.”

Andi stilled. Her ears buzzed and she wondered if she heard correctly. “What?”