Authors: Dee C. May
I didn’t bother to rush getting ready, not having anywhere to go. By the time I put on my leggings and top, the locker room was empty. I pushed open the door and bumped smack into Jason. The distinct smell of Tide and Irish Spring soap wafted over me and his white blond hair was wet and slicked back.
My heart leapt into my throat. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
He grinned at me, raising his eyebrows as he did so, making him look devilish. “Showering.” His
gaze drifted lazily down the length of me, and his grin got wider, his blue eyes sparkling mischievously. “Too bad we didn’t shower together.”
“Stop,” I scolded, my emotions swirling. Jason’s not-so-innocent banter always put me in knots. Despite my vows three years ago to just be friends, our relationship forever skirted the border of sexual tension, hidden innuendos, and outright compliments. And lately, that border had grayed. I hadn’t slept with him, but he had upped the pursuit, and I hadn’t exactly shut him down. Abby would never forgive me if she knew he was trying to get into my pants.
Jason moved in closer, running his finger down the edge of my sweater where it crossed over my collarbone. My heart started galloping.
“
This
is
not
a good idea.” I took a step back. Jason followed, blocking my escape.
“This?” He wormed his finger under my sweater, feeling along my bra.
“Stop.” I glanced around nervously. What if we weren’t really alone? “Jason, I mean it. Abby’s coming back.”
He leaned down closer, his lips inches from mine.
“So, you only want me to stop because Abby might come back? Not because you don’t want it?”
“No. Yes.” I pulled at his hand, pushing it away. He laughed, moving his knee between my legs and pressing into me lightly.
“I bet you don’t mean that. Come on. Give in. You know we’ll be great together.
Do you have underwear on?”
My stomach twisted and rolled. How did he know how to get to me?
“Someone’s going to see you.” I placed my hands on his chest and pushed. He ignored my feeble efforts, reaching down to run his lips behind my ear, sending shivers up my spine. “Come on,” he whispered again. My knees started quaking.
God, I wanted him.
It was so unfair that Abby had gotten him. We were friends first, longer.
The opening bars of Coldplay’s “Life in Technicolor” blasted out. Thank God. My phone. I broke away and fumbled for it in my bag.
“Hey, we’re on our way back.” Abby’s voice sounded singsong.
“Were you guys drinking?” I asked. Jason shook his head in mock disgust, smiling at me as he snaked his hand back under my sweater, playing with my bra clasp. He had it undone in a second. I tried walking away, but he grabbed the bottom of my sweater.
“Stop that,” I mouthed. Abby laughed at something Tiernan said. “Abby? Were you drinking?” Of course, who the hell was I to ask her this? Her boyfriend was trying to screw me.
“Don’t worry. I’m a-o-k. We’ll be there in a few, and then we can leave.” I stared at my phone as the connection went dead.
“You’re beautiful,” Jason whispered, pulling me backward into him. His mouth skimmed over my neck. “I want to feel every inch of you. Come on.”
My stomach tingled at his words. I broke away, turning around to face him. “Are you crazy? She’s on the way back. You have a girlfriend, remember?” I pulled his roaming hand out from under my sweater and grabbed the two ends of my bra. Jason scowled at me.
“What?” I asked distractedly, fumbling with the bra clasp. How could a bra be so easy to undo and so hard to do up?
“I want you. And I don’t want to wait.”
“Well, you need to break it off with Abby then.”
“Are you going to sleep with Trevor Hadley? I heard you guys hooked up last month.”
“I didn’t sleep with him. And it’s NOYB. You stopped liking me, remember? You’re with Abby.”
“I never stopped liking you. She just was more … available.” He stepped closer, widening his eyes, and humming.
“Stop that. Are you coming back tonight?”
“I’m meeting up with friends. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
I got the clasp hinged and breathed a sigh of relief.
Jason leaned into me again. “I’ll be thinking of you.” His hand grazed my right boob as he stepped back. I shook my head, trying to wipe the smile off my face. How could he be annoying, frustrating, and enticing all in one? Abby’s laughter rang out from the parking lot, and I pushed past Jason, swinging my bag up onto my shoulder and trying to look casual.
“Hey,” I called to her, half-walking and half-trotting across the lot. She carried a handful of shopping bags, throwing them into the trunk of her car. Jason followed. Grabbing him, Abby pulled him in close for a kiss but stepped back after a moment. He swatted at her butt and she scooted away, giggling.
I stared at her across the hood of the car, trying to figure out if she was sober.
“I’m fine,” she called, as if reading my mind, and opened the driver’s side door. “Get in. Let’s get back and party.”
Tiernan drove past, gunning her car’s motor. “Later, ladies,” she called, taunting.
“Come on,” Abby yelled impatiently, glancing at the back of Tiernan’s car. I knew she wanted to beat Tiernan back to campus. She hated losing at anything. I hadn’t known her for ten years not to know that. Fuck it. I opened the door and got in. How the hell would I get home from here anyway? Besides, she looked fine.
She rolled her window down. “LTA, Meyers,” she called to Jason.
“Back at ya, Macks.” Jason blew her a kiss. A wave of jealousy crashed over me. I shook my head, trying to ease the feeling. Whatever he wanted from me, Abby was his real girlfriend.
“LTA?” I asked as she turned the car out of the parking lot.
“I just made it up last week. Love that ass.”
“Nice.” I cracked open my can of Diet Coke and took a sip.
“I know. Fits him, too.”
I smiled blankly, as if I wouldn’t know the first thing about a guy’s ass, much less Jason’s.
Abby cruised down the highway entryway ramp and accelerated while she played with the radio buttons. I rolled my jacket up to make a pillow and settled down, fitting my ear buds in my ears.
“You’re not going to talk to me?” Abby asked, obviously annoyed.
I pulled one bud out of my ear, Snow Patrol blasting out. I adjusted the volume on my phone. “I’m tired. And I drove on the way up.”
“Talk to me. Please.” She flashed her grin. “Remember Jones Beach?”
A wave of guilt washed over me. She had been my best friend for so long. I needed to be stronger and shut Jason down. It didn’t matter how I felt or for how long. He was taken.
She cut right and pulled around the car in front of her. “Fucking Tee had a head start.”
“Be careful. You don’t want a ticket.”
She ignored me, pressing the pedal down further. She hated anyone telling her what to do—first child syndrome. I, on the other hand, was the last of three with a huge gap between me and my brothers. I was used to people ordering me around. She glanced at her phone, and then typed rapidly in response. “She’s one exit up. I can catch her.” She passed another car.
“Don’t text,” I warned and smiled as she stuck her tongue out at me.
“Stop being a back-seat driver. How’d you think my game went? I rocked, even if Stacy’s passes to me sucked.”
Nobody ever played well enough for Abby. I knew she was talented, knew she was getting considered for some new National Team they were starting—which was why we dragged our asses up to this tournament—but talking about it got old. Abby gaped at her phone. It was obvious she didn’t really want an answer. I wondered what gossip Tiernan had texted.
“What … the … fuck!” Her voice was hushed, full of awe. The steering wheel jerked right as she pulled her phone closer for a better look. I grabbed the side. The car swayed with the force but then stayed in line. I stared at an eighteen-wheeler next to us.
“Jesus, Abby. Watch it.”
“Watch it?! Watch it?! Look at this! Is this some kind of fucking joke?” Her voice sounded high and tight, the surprise replaced with anger. She thrust her phone in my face, waving it in circles. My eyes went round and round before they finally figured out the picture—Jason nuzzling my neck. Someone must have just taken it.
Shit!
Abby’s eyes were pinned on me, fury on her face. “Are you whoring around with
my
boyfriend?”
My stomach did a dive, and my heart started pounding. I glanced at the road as the truck pulled into our lane.
“Abby!” I cried too late, reaching out a hand for the dashboard.
She looked back, slamming her foot down as she did so. The brakes locked and squealed as we skidded sideways. I screamed, and the world turned upside down. Wrenching pain seared through my shoulder. The ripping sound of metal on metal. Glass bursting. It was dark and light and dark again. Smoke. I smelled smoke. Aching dull pain filled my head. My teeth crunched. Tiny bits of hard stuff. Glass. I choked, spitting it out.
Sirens whistled. My eyes felt heavy.
Open, please stay open.
I turned my head, and pain tore down my spine. Was that Abby at that strange angle? I gave in and closed my eyes. Better not to see. Better not to move. Just breathe. In and out.
Please help me
.
Chapter Three
Beck—A Place in Between
Wheels stood on the beach his face upturned to the sky. I wandered over, copying him and reveling in the sun’s heat on my cheeks. “Where have you been?” he asked casually, not looking at me.
“I’m not sure. Floating around mostly, here and there, awake but not, if that makes sense. I can hear them talking, but my eyes don’t open. They’ve been working on me. Trying to bring me back, I guess.”
“I wish I’d have had a chance.” Wheels had had some kind of decapitating accident.
“Well, my legs don’t seem to work. I’m not sure how they’re going to fix that. They keep calling to me. They must have finally left, which is why I’m here. Peace at last.” It was quiet, but for the small waves lapping at the shore.
“Clearly, they’re not ready to let you go.”
I thought about this for a while. It beat the fuck out of me why.
“Are you sure this isn’t Heaven?”
“Does your wired jaw make you think its Heaven?” Wheels smiled condescendingly, motioning to some guy
walking past with half an arm, skin ripped off his body, and a bullet hole through his chest. “I’d hope that guy would be put back better if it was Heaven.”
He had a point. The landscape might be pleasant, New England on a nicer day, and we could walk and talk, but we couldn’t really touch anything. Nothing had actual matter,
it seemed, except the ground, and those who weren’t ghosts had some serious injuries. Besides, if there was one thing I knew, I was not bound for Heaven. The fact I wasn’t in Hell and getting tortured twenty-four-seven was nothing short of a miracle.
“Once they figure out how to fix your legs, you won’t be here,” Wheels stated. He sounded sad. I think I was the first one he had ever connected with.
I understood. I had expected death in that dank room. Instead, I was unconscious in the real world, physically there and aware of it, but unable to move or talk, respond to anything or anyone But here I could walk and talk. It still surprised me. I had been so sure nothingness waited for me on the other side—or some fiery hell.
A girl I didn’t recognize wandered past. She had blond hair matted with blood and stuck to her face. She stopped every few feet, trying to talk to someone. Most blew past her. A few stopped and gave her one-word answers before moving on.
“Who’s that?”
“Newbie. Came in a few hours ago. Car crash on I-90. A little put-out about the whole thing,” he surmised. Alfred, a ghost older than Wheels, stopped when the girl called out to him, gesturing wildly with her hands. He was the wrong person to pick, dead or alive, that much I could tell immediately.
“Get the hell out of here and stop bothering everyone with your stupid questions,” he yelled at her. She stepped back, fear and embarrassment on her face, retreating to the water’s edge near us but keeping her eyes down.
“Is she going to make it?” I asked.
“I’m not God. I don’t know these things.” I ignored his biting tone. “Came in with another girl, but that girl’s gone.”
.
The girl stared at the water for a minute, then turned and walked past. I reached out to stop her, forgetting I couldn’t touch anything. She stopped as my hand passed through her. I wondered if she felt it in her real body. She stared at my hand for a moment, and then raised her eyes and looked into mine. They were smoky green.
“What? Are you going to yell, too?”
I shook my head.
“Where am I? That’s all I want to know,”. She was beautiful, even with dried blood on her face.
“Nowhere,” Wheels volunteered. “You are caught between death and life, this plane and that. Not Heaven or Hell.”
She scowled. “What does that mean?” Good question. “Am I dying?”