Wyoming Lawman (20 page)

A
s Pearl walked up the porch steps with Dan, Carrie flung open the door. When she saw Pearl's disheveled appearance, her eyes flared and she hurried across the porch. As they met, she gripped Pearl's elbows. “Are you all right?”

“I'm fine.” Pearl looked past her to the foyer. “Is everyone gone?”

“Everyone except Sarah. She's in the kitchen with Mrs. Dinwiddie.” Carrie turned to Dan with a question in her eyes. The sight of them sharing a meaningful look hit Pearl hard. Tonight Matt had sent her away. He had a good reason, but she yearned for a promise.
I'll find you in Denver.
Did he love her? She'd thought so in the alley, but what did she know about men? Maybe the kiss really had been “just stuff” to him. Her heart told her otherwise, but it had been wrong before. Another first reaction…another mistake.

Damp and chilled, Pearl indicated the door. “Let's go inside.”

The women turned and stepped into the foyer. Following them, Dan closed the door tight, then hung up his hat and slicker. Carrie led Pearl to the parlor where they sat on the divan. Dan stood by the window, watching the street with his arms folded across his chest.

Carrie took Pearl's cold hand in her warm one. “I was worried to death. What happened?”

“I'll tell you everything, but where's Toby?”

“Asleep in his crib.”

Pearl wanted to hold him, but he needed his rest. Calm and confident, she described the trouble with Jasper and how Matt had found her in the alley. She wanted to tell her about the kiss, but not in front of Dan. She finished by telling Carrie about Tobias's involvement with the Golden Order and the fear that the vigilante group would try to harm him. “That's why we have to go back to Denver. We're leaving on the morning train.”

“But you can't,” Carrie cried. “I'll miss you too much.”

“I'll miss you, too.” Pearl loved her friends at Swan's Nest, but she and Carrie were family. “I have to think of Toby. And you, too. As long as we're under your roof, you're in danger.”

The color drained from Carrie's face. Instinctively, she turned to Dan. “Do you think they'll come here?”

“Possibly.” His brown eyes filled with a protective gleam. “You won't be alone, Carrie. I'll be standing guard with Matt. All night if that's what it takes.”

“Thank you, Dan.”

Carrie's voice rang with the richness of love. Envy washed through Pearl in a wave. Not only did Carrie have the security of her own home, Pearl sensed that she'd soon have a husband to go with it.

Slightly flushed, Carrie turned back to Pearl. “I know you have to leave, but promise me you'll come back.”

“Maybe for a visit.” Pearl glanced at Dan and saw him trading another look with Carrie. A second rush of envy sucked the air from Pearl's lungs. She wanted Matt to look at her that way. Instead she had to say goodbye to his
daughter. She was about to excuse herself when the silence turned awkward.

Dan spoke to Carrie. “I'm going to look around outside. We want to be sure the doors and windows are locked.”

When Carrie bit her lip, Pearl sensed Dan's longing to comfort her. She would have left them alone, but he'd already turned to leave the parlor. Carrie's eyes stayed on his back until he disappeared from view.

Hoping to lighten the grim mood, Pearl teased Carrie with a grin. “I may not come back to Cheyenne to live, but I'll be here for your wedding.”

“Wedding!”

“I hope so.” Pearl had been hurt tonight, but she wanted Carrie to be happy. “Dan's a good man.”

“So is Matt.” Carrie looked her square in the eye. “You didn't tell me everything that happened in the alley, did you?”

“No, I didn't.”

“You're different,” Carrie said quietly. “In spite of what Jasper did, you're calm.”

She owed part of that new confidence to Matt. With Jasper she'd relived the attack. By kissing Matt, she'd taken back control of herself. She looked at Carrie with all the confidence she felt. “He kissed me.” Such simple words. Such powerful words. “Was it…nice?”

She knotted her hands in frustration. “
I
thought it was wonderful.
He
said it wasn't anything. I don't know what to think.”

“Me neither,” Carrie admitted.

Pearl knew her cousin had never been kissed, at least not more than a peck. The conversation had nowhere to go, so she stood. “I have to say goodbye to Sarah.”

Carrie pushed up from the divan and they shared a hug.
Pearl went to the kitchen where she saw Mrs. Dinwiddie putting on her cloak. Sarah was seated at the table with a pencil and paper. She looked adorable in her pink dress, and her hair crowned her head in a perfect coronet complete with pink ribbons. If Pearl had done nothing else for this child, she'd taught Matt how to make a decent braid. She also realized she'd broken her promise to be at the tea party. She owed Sarah an explanation for missing the party as well as a goodbye.

A lump pushed into Pearl's throat, but she managed a smile. “Are you practicing your letters?”

The child held up the sheet of paper. Pearl saw a backward
S,
but the
A
's were flawless and so was the final
H.
She looked pleased. “This spells ‘Sarah.'”

“It sure does.” Pearl glanced at Mrs. Dinwiddie. “How was the party?”

“Exhausting! I'm looking forward to putting my feet up.” She smiled at Pearl. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

No, she wouldn't. Pearl needed to say goodbye to the woman who'd been so kind to Toby. “I'll walk out with you.”

Mrs. Dinwiddie gave her a curious look. “All right.”

Pearl turned to Sarah. “I'll be right back, sweetie. Why don't you write some more letters for me?”

“How do I write your name?”

Pearl took the pencil and wrote her name in upper case letters. As Sarah went to work, Pearl walked with Mrs. Dinwiddie to the porch. In the quiet and the dark, she told the cook that she and her father were leaving on the morning train to Denver. Mrs. Dinwiddie clearly wanted to ask why, but she settled for pulling Pearl into a hug. “I'm going to miss you, especially that boy of yours.”

“We'll miss you, too.”

Holding Pearl by the arms, Mrs. Dinwiddie stepped
back. “Are you sure you have to leave? Denver is just a train ride away, but it's still far.”

“I'm sure.”

“Whatever's chasing you away, I hope it stops.”

So did Pearl. As they hugged goodbye, a man cleared his throat. Expecting Dan, Pearl looked to the bottom of the steps. Instead of the deputy, she saw an adolescent boy holding her cloak and hat. Her stomach filled with nervous butterflies. “Miss Oliver?”

“Yes?”

“Mr. Kling asked me to deliver these to you.” He walked up the steps and handed the clothing to Pearl. “There's a note in the pocket. He told me to tell you.”

How much had the boy heard? Did he know she and her father were leaving on the morning train? Would he tell Jasper? She couldn't ask without raising suspicion. And the note… What did it say? She wanted to read it now, but she couldn't see in the dark.

“Thank you,” she managed through her tight lips. She wished she had a coin for a tip, but her pockets were empty. Sensing the need, Mrs. Dinwiddie gave him a couple of pennies. He left and the women hugged goodbye again. Pearl watched Mrs. Dinwiddie disappear into the dark, then she went back to the kitchen where Sarah had a death grip on the stubby pencil.

The poor child looked tense and fearful, as if her life depended on spelling out Pearl's name in the unfamiliar letters. Pearl sat at the table next to her, turned the paper and studied the crooked consonants and wobbly vowels.

“That's perfect,” she said with a lump in her throat.

“It's for you.”

“Thank you, Sarah.” She touched the girl's perfect hair.
“I'm sorry I missed the party. Something happened and I couldn't come.”

“That's okay.”

The acceptance cut Pearl to the bone. The disappointment in Sarah's life had made her an accepting child. She took what love she could get and treasured it. Matt had given her that hope. In spite of his troubles, he was a good father.

Pearl dreaded the next words. “I have to tell you something else.”

“What is it?”

“It's sad.” Pearl cupped Sarah's little hand in both of hers. Her fingers were sticky with cake from the party, and she thought of the birthdays they wouldn't share. “My father and I have to go back to Denver.”

“That's like Texas!” Sarah cried. “It's far!”

“I know, sweetie.”

Sarah's lips quivered. “Are you taking Toby with you?”

The question stabbed Pearl in the heart. Sarah's mother had left her. Being abandoned colored the child's every thought, her every reaction. Pearl couldn't erase Sarah's scar, but she refused to make it deeper. She held her hand even more securely. “Toby's my son. I will
never
leave him. But sometimes bad things happen. People get sick or hurt, or they make mistakes like your mama did.”

The child's lip quivered. “She didn't like me.”

“Oh, sweetie.”

“That's why she left.” Tears ran down Sarah's cheeks. “She didn't like my daddy, either.” She looked up hopefully. “Do
you
like my daddy?”

Pearl could hardly breathe. “I like him very much. He's a good man, Sarah. He will
always
be there for you.” Except
Pearl knew too well that life was full of uncertainty. What if Matt got sick? What if he died in the line of duty?

Sarah looked at her with too much hope. “I want a mama, too.”

“I know, sweetie.”

“I want
you
to be my mama.”

Love welled in Pearl's heart, but she didn't have the right to express it.
I love you, too, Sarah. I'd be honored to be your mother.
But Matt hadn't chosen her. He'd sent her to Denver without a word of love or even the hope of a letter. Pearl made her voice neutral. “It's up to your daddy to pick a mother for you.”

“He won't.” She pouted. “He works all the time.”

In spite of her disappointment, Pearl ached for Matt. Until he wrestled with his need to forgive and be forgiven, he'd be bitter and Sarah would suffer. The poor child needed a mother as much as Pearl needed to be one, as much as Matt needed a wife. Pearl hurt for them all. “Finding the right mama isn't easy.”

“It's not hard, either.” Sarah sounded wise beyond her years. “He just has to marry you.”

Just.

The word belittled everything it touched. Matt
just
had to open his heart to God. Pearl
just
had to have faith God would provide for her. She didn't want Sarah to see her upset, so she kept her voice low. “Sometimes people have to make hard choices, especially daddies. Just know that he loves you. I care about you, too.”

“Then why are you leaving?”

How did she explain vigilantes to a child? “Some bad men are causing trouble. My father has to leave to be safe.”

“Will you come back?”

Pearl weighed her words carefully. If Sarah was going to ever trust again, she needed the truth. “I don't know.”

The child sat as still as a stone cherub. Like Pearl, she knew the futility of hoping for things she couldn't have. With tears in her eyes, Pearl took a sheet of paper and the pencil Sarah had set down. In block letters she wrote her name and the address for Swan's Nest, then she slid the paper to Sarah. “This is where I'm going to live. I'll ask Miss Carrie to help you send a letter, and I'll send one back.”

“Really?”

“You bet.” Pearl couldn't fix all of Sarah's problems, but she would always be her friend. Sarah looked at the paper for a long time. “I see an
S
like Sarah!”

“That's right.” Pearl pointed to the
W.
“That says ‘Swan's Nest.' It's where I'm going to live again.”

Sarah said each letter out loud. Before she got to the
T
in ‘Nest,'” Carrie tapped on the open door. “Matt's here.”

Her cousin looked flushed and out of breath. Pearl wondered why. Later she'd ask, but for now the time had come to say goodbye. Pearl stood and pulled Sarah into a hug. She didn't want to see Matt, but neither would she make the moment harder than necessary for Sarah. She also had to tell Matt about the errand boy and Jasper's note.

She took the letter out of the pocket of her cloak, glanced at the writing and felt a cold certainty that it held a threat. Together she and Sarah went into the foyer, where Matt stood with his hat in hand and a grim expression.

F
ive minutes ago, Matt had arrived at Carrie's house with Tobias. The old man was on foot, so Matt had walked his horse. They'd exchanged a few words but not many. The danger spoke for itself. As they'd neared Carrie's house, Matt had gotten a pleasant surprise. On the far corner of the porch, he'd seen Dan and Carrie kissing in the shadows. Later he'd joke with his friend about dropping his guard while on duty, but for the moment he couldn't have been more pleased.

Tobias had seen them, too. He'd given Matt a sideways glance, but Matt had ignored him. Until he could be the man Pearl deserved, he had no business thinking about kissing her. To give Dan warning, he had cleared his throat. The couple had broken apart, then they'd all gone into the house together with Carrie looking more flustered than Matt had ever seen her. When she left to fetch Pearl and Sarah, Matt slapped Dan on the back. “Now who's the Romeo?”

Dan glared at him. “No jokes, Wiley. I'm going to marry that woman.”

“Did you ask her?” Matt half whispered.

“Not yet, but I will.”

Matt wished he could ask Pearl the same question. When she came into the foyer with Sarah and Carrie, he recalled seeing her with his daughter for the first time and being reminded of Bettina. He'd never been more wrong in his life. Pearl was nothing like his first wife. She had a sweetness he loved, a generosity of spirit Sarah needed as much as he did. He didn't want her to go, but he had to keep her safe from the G.O. and from his own dark heart.

She still looked disheveled from the rain, a sign she'd spoken to Sarah rather than make herself more comfortable. She also had a white envelope in her hand and a worried expression. Instead of running to him, Sarah clung to Pearl's other hand and glared at him. Tonight he'd read
Cinderella,
but he doubted the fairy tale could ease his daughter's heart.

Looking tense, Pearl offered him the letter. “It's from Jasper. I haven't read it yet.”

As Matt took the envelope, their fingers touched. Hers were still cold. So were his. “Who delivered it?”

“An errand boy.” She told him about the boy who'd brought her things and her conversation with Mrs. Dinwiddie. “I don't know how much he overheard, or if he'd go back and tell Jasper.”

Matt's brow furrowed. “We have to figure on the worst.”

Pearl bit her lip. “That means—”

“Let me read the letter.” He opened the envelope, unfolded a single sheet of paper and saw Jasper's penmanship. Every letter was slanted at the same angle. The capitals matched in height, and the lower case letters made a straight and perfect line.

“Read it out loud,” Tobias urged.

“Dear Pearl.” Matt hated having Jasper's words on his tongue. “We seem to have had a misunderstanding. As you
know, I think very highly of you and your father. I trust we'll be able to speak tomorrow when you arrive at the store as usual. With warm regards, Jasper Kling.”

He folded the letter and looked at Pearl. “Whatever you do, don't go near that place.”

“I won't,” she murmured.

Matt turned to Tobias. “Sir, Dan and I will put you, Pearl and Toby on the train first thing in the morning. In the meantime, everyone needs to stay alert.”

Carrie spoke up. “You'll need coffee. I'll put some on the stove.”

“Thanks,” Matt answered. He put the letter in his coat pocket. It might be needed for evidence. “The G.O. could be planning something at nine o'clock tomorrow, or they could be watching the house right now. Either way, Tobias knows too much. Once we catch them in the act, his testimony could seal a conviction.”

“I'll do whatever I can,” the old man said.

“Me, too,” Pearl added.

Matt looked at Pearl and felt a surge of love. Instead of trembling at Jasper's threat, she looked defiant. She'd come a long way from being “Miss No Name” and running from a crowd. In some small way, he'd helped her find that strength. It made him proud, but not proud enough to stop the nightmares.

He turned to Dan. “I'll take Sarah to Mrs. Holcombe's. I'll be back with your horse.”

“What about more deputies?” Dan asked.

“Dibbs and Murray are on duty tonight. I'll tell them to keep an eye out.”

With their business settled, Dan gave Carrie a nod and went to stand guard on the porch. Tobias excused himself and so did Carrie, leaving Matt alone with Pearl and Sarah. Their eyes met and held, but neither of them spoke. He
couldn't bear the sight of Sarah clinging to Pearl's skirt, glaring at him as if he were an ogre about to snatch her away. A man did what had to be done, so he gave her a stern look. “Come on, darlin'. It's time to go.”

“No!”

“Sarah—”

“I don't want to go to Mrs. Holcombe's house! I want to stay with Miss Pearl.” She stuck out her bottom lip. When Matt saw it tremble, he hated himself with the full force of all his guilt. Unwillingly, he looked to Pearl for help and wished he hadn't. Her eyes matched Sarah's too perfectly. The females belonged together. Matt belonged with them both. If he were a better man, he could have told Pearl he loved her. He could have given Sarah a mother and ended this charade of uncaring. He would never have participated in a lynching and he'd be free to sit in church without resentment coloring his every thought.

He wasn't that man, so he stepped forward and lifted Sarah to his hip. She kicked so hard he'd have a bruise. “Sarah—”

“Wait,” Pearl said gently. “Let me talk to her.”

Shamefully grateful for her help, he stood so that Pearl and Sarah were nose to nose. She cupped the child's head with her hand, kissed her temple and then rested her forehead against Sarah's smaller one.

“I love you, Sarah,” she whispered. “I'm going to write to you, remember?”

The child sobbed.

“And we're going to be friends forever, right? I won't ever forget you, and you won't forget me.”

Sarah settled a bit, but tears kept spilling down her cheeks. “I don't want you to go!”

“I know, sweetheart.” Pearl pulled back, but she kept
contact by touching Sarah's chin. “How about this…I promise I'll come and visit. I don't know when, but someday I'll come and see you. Would you like that?”

Slowly, as if her head weighed a hundred pounds, Sarah nodded.

“Good,” Pearl said with false enthusiasm. “We'll look forward to it. Now go with your daddy, okay? He's a good man and he loves you very, very much. He'll take good care of you, always. I know it.”

If Pearl had looked into his eyes, she'd have seen tears. The feelings embarrassed him, but they didn't humble him enough to tell her he loved her. First he had to settle matters with God and the Golden Order. Turning his back, he walked out the door with Sarah in his arms.

“Bye, Miss Pearl,” the child said in a shaky voice.

“Goodbye, Sarah.”

With the words echoing in his ears, Matt closed the door and headed for his horse. Sarah felt as lifeless as a sack of flour. He'd have preferred a tantrum to the dead-weight. He lifted her into the saddle, climbed up behind her and wrapped his coat around her for warmth. She usually chattered when she rode with him. He'd tease her about taking the reins and they'd think of funny names for horses. Tonight she curled sideways against his middle and clutched his shirt, a sign she'd said goodbye too many times. Either God didn't know, or he didn't care. Matt's blood boiled with a consuming anger. He could understand the Almighty turning His back on a man like himself, but how could He forget Sarah?

When they reached Mrs. Holcombe's house, Matt climbed off his horse and carried Sarah to the porch. Mrs. Holcombe opened the door and greeted them with a smile. “Looks like I'm going to have company tonight.”

Sarah usually liked staying with Mrs. Holcombe. Tonight she muttered, “I guess.”

“What's wrong?” the woman asked.

Sarah shrugged. Matt chose not to enlighten her, either.

Mrs. Holcombe respected his silence, but Matt knew her opinions. More than once she'd told him Sarah needed a mother. Tonight he had to agree. “She's tired,” he said. “I'll put her down, then fetch her nightie from the house.” He'd get the
Mother Goose
book, too.

As he set Sarah on the divan, Mrs. Holcombe sat close. “How about a story when your daddy gets back? We could read
Cinderella.
”

“No, thank you,” Sarah replied, sounding overly polite. “It isn't true anyway.”

It pained him, but Matt had to agree. When it came to Pearl, he'd failed miserably as Prince Charming. He'd failed Sarah, too. He couldn't pray for himself, but he could pray for his daughter and Pearl.

Help them, Lord. They need more than I can give right now.

He didn't expect God to answer, but a small part of him hoped that someday he'd be able to trust God the way Pearl did. Until then, he'd stand guard like the watchman. It wouldn't be in vain, either. He intended to stop the Golden Order on his own. He'd fight and he'd win. If God wanted to watch, so be it. But Matt wouldn't count on Him.

 

When Pearl walked into her room, she saw her father in the rocking chair, pushing gently as he hummed a lullaby to his grandson. She'd had a harrowing day and still needed to pack, but she welcomed his company. She'd never have a husband, but she had the best father in the world. She sat
across from him on the seat of the vanity. “How are you doing?” she asked.

“I'm fine.” He kept rocking. “I just wish things had turned out better.”

“You did your best,” Pearl said. “I'm proud of you.”

“I'm proud of
you,
” Tobias replied. “Here's hoping Matt finishes the job fast. I'd like to come back here.”

Pearl had the same hope. “If anyone can stop them, it's Matt.”

“He's troubled, Pearl.”

“I know.”

He looked at her with the love she'd known her entire life. “You know I'll be praying.”

“Thank you, Papa.”

He indicated Toby with his chin. “This little boy's asleep. I'll put him to bed and go pack. I don't think either of us will get much sleep tonight.” Her father carried Toby to his cradle, then kissed Pearl on the cheek and said goodnight. As he lumbered down the hall, she closed the door and slumped against it. The emotion she'd been holding back for Sarah's sake leaked into her eyes. A tear trickled down her cheek, then another one. She wiped them away with her knuckles, then went to the wardrobe and opened the doors. One by one, she removed the dresses from the hooks.

The blue one she'd worn the day she arrived reminded her of her first glimpse of Matt. He'd struck her as handsome and troubled, a good man with a chip on his shoulder. He hadn't changed at all, except now she loved him.

As she lifted the gray dress she'd worn to the interview, she thought of Matt taking her to the bakery. She recalled the tenderness of the moment, then the look in his eyes when he realized she'd been the victim of violence. Was that when she'd started to love him? Or had it been sooner?
Pearl didn't know and it didn't matter. Unless Matt had a change of heart, her feelings had to be put aside.

As she lifted the fancy dress she'd worn to Carrie's party, she thought of Adie's wedding and her own hopes for marriage. Those hopes had been dead when she'd arrived in Cheyenne. Matt had brought them to life, but they'd faded again when he said the kiss was “just stuff.” Had he been lying? Or did he mean it? Either way, the words hurt.

Last, she removed her everyday dresses, the ones she'd worn in Jasper's store. They held no memories, good or bad. She could wear them in Denver without remembering Jasper and running into the rain.

She packed her petticoats and underthings, then opened the vanity. With her throat tight, she took out the blue ribbons one by one, recalling when she'd worn them. When she lifted the one Matt had touched, it warmed beneath her fingers and she remembered everything…the moment they'd met and Sarah's messy braid. The night in the kitchen and the kiss in the alley. Closing her eyes, she pictured Matt's face as she prayed for peace for his soul.

She whispered “Amen,” then looked at herself in the mirror. Slowly she unwound the coronet she'd made with her braid, then she loosened the plaits until her hair hung unbound down her back. Over and over, she brushed the strands until they crackled.

Looking at her reflection, she felt beautiful and strong. Never again would she pull her hair so tight that her scalp hurt. The blond lengths were indeed her crowning glory.

“Be with him, Lord,” she said out loud. “Remind him of Your mercy. Remind him that he needs You. Amen.”

Pearl needed the Lord, too. She also wanted a husband and a father for Toby. With those prayers on her lips, she felt a rush of courage. Not once in her life had she regretted being brave, but she'd paid dearly for being timid.
Tomorrow she'd wear her hair down for the first time in a year. She'd wear Matt's ribbons, too. As he'd believed in the note that came with the ribbons, she'd become a woman of uncommon courage.