X: The Hard Knocks Complete Story (36 page)

T
he sound
of boxes crashing to the floor jerks me out of a deep sleep. I gasp and sit up ramrod straight in the twin bed I found sanctuary in last night after letting myself into the diner with my key.

“Sorry, sugar,” Nettie says as she stacks the boxes back onto the stockroom shelf. “We needed more ketchup out front.”

I stretch and then rub the heels of my hands against my closed eyelids. “What time is it?”

“Close to noon,” Nettie informs me as she comes over to sit next to me on the bed. There’s concern in her eyes. “You okay?”

I nod. “Yeah. Rough night in the house, is all. It’s hard being there, alone.”

She pats my shoulder. “Anna will be back before long.”

I sigh and then pinch the bridge of my nose. “I’m not sure she’ll be back.”

Her brow furrows. “Why would you say that? That girl loves you.”

“And that’s the problem. She shouldn’t love me.”

“You deserve love, Xavier. You have to learn to open up and let her in. She’ll stand by you, no matter what, if she really loves you.”

“What if she doesn’t?” That’s the thing that scares me the most. I fear the possibility that she might leave me.

Nettie frowns. “You’ll never know unless you open yourself up and find out.” She pats my leg. “Want me to have Carl make you some breakfast?”

“A quick sandwich to go would be great. I have to head over to the gym to work with a kid Cole thinks might have a real shot in professional wrestling.”

She pushes up from the bed. “That’s great. It’ll take your mind off things a bit.”

“Yeah, maybe,” I tell her. But I know getting Anna off my mind won’t be easy.

“I’ll get that sandwich going.” Nettie pauses at the door and turns to me. “Make sure you take a shower at Tough’s. I can still smell the Jack on you.” She winks at me before she disappears.

I down the sausage-and-egg sandwich in about four bites and head out the door to my bike. I ride down the street to the house on Sycamore and am surprised to see only scorched concrete where the couch burned last night.

I park my bike, take a deep breath, and then dash inside to change into workout gear. I do my best not to allow the house to get to me, but when I rush past the door upstairs to get to the bathroom, I eye the lock on Grandmother’s door.

God, that woman really hated me and did anything to keep me at a distance.

After brushing my teeth and slapping on some deodorant, I rush back out the door and head toward the gym.

I hate being late.

My bike roars as it comes to a halt in front of Tough’s Gym, and then I sprint up the stairs.

When I open the door, the sound of jump ropes slapping against the wooden floor is the first thing I hear. The gym is packed today, but after a quick glance around, I spot Cole talking to a man about my height. He has sandy-blond spiked hair, and he’s covered from the neck down in tattoos.

Cole spots me and raises his hand in the air. “X!”

A lot of the heads in the gym turn and notice me there, but they go back to training almost instantly.

The guy next to Cole smiles and extends his hand to me as I approach. “What’s up, X? Thank you for doing this.”

Now that I’m up close, I can tell this guy is really young, probably no more than twenty-one.

“No problem. What’s your name, kid?”

“Corey Trulove,” he says proudly.

I raise my eyebrows. “Real or fake name?”

“One hundred percent real, bro.”

Cole laughs. “Almost as good as Xavier Cold, huh, X?”

I nod. “Almost.” I turn back to the kid. “Okay, let’s warm up, and then we’ll step in the ring and see what you’ve got.”

After about fifteen minutes, we’re loosened up and in the ring, bouncing around on our toes.

I widen my stance and wave Corey at me. “All right, kid, come at me.”

Corey shakes his hands out at his sides and then charges at me, but I easily sidestep him and push him down on the mat.

He jumps up and smacks his hands together. “Damn it. Again!”

I raise my eyebrows and then glance at Cole, who gives me an I-told-you-so nod.

I admire people who don’t give up in the ring. It’s what makes a good wrestler.

We go at it again and again for nearly two hours, but the kid never gets me in any holds. I can see the frustration growing on his face, and I want to make sure I don’t break his spirit or make him doubt his abilities too much.

I step back and hold my hands up. “I think that’s enough.”

“No, wait. I can do better. Please give me another shot.”

I can see panic in his eyes because he believes he’s failed.

“Kid, calm down. We’re not finished. We’re just done for the day. I think you’ve got something, and while I’m here, I’ll work with you.”

His eyes light up. “You will?”

I nod.

Corey jumps in the air and pumps his fist. “Hell yeah! I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He runs off toward the locker room, and I smile.

Cole nudges my shoulder. “You’re doing a good thing. This means a lot to him.”

I shrug. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It is to him. Remember, little things mean a shit-ton in this neighborhood.”

He’s right about that. I was all too happy to accept the handouts Bishop had offered even though what he demanded in return turned me into a thug.

I don’t want Corey to end up in that same boat.

After a shower, I head out of the gym with Corey flanking my side, asking me a million questions about what it’s like to be a part of
Tension
.

I’m about to answer another question for Corey, but I stop when I spot Kai leaning against the front of the same SUV he was in once before.

“Fuck,” Corey mumbles next to me. “They’ve been coming around more and more, wanting an answer from me about doing some work for them.”

I turn to him and say, “You fuck with the Block, and our training days are over.”

“That won’t happen,” Corey says. “I’ve been doing my best to avoid them, but those fuckers are relentless when they want something.”

I want to say,
Tell me something I don’t know
, but the less people who know about the threats Bishop’s crew has made toward me and Anna, the safer Anna will be. God knows I don’t need anyone getting any ideas to join in on the action in order to prove loyalty to Bishop.

I know it makes me a fucking asshole for not taking Anna’s calls, but I’m doing it for her own good even though it’s killing me to let her go.

I
t’s been
two days since I found out I’m pregnant, and the shock hasn’t worn off yet. The passing days also mean it’s been two additional days since I heard from Xavier.

I guess my threats of the certain demise of our relationship if he didn’t call me back weren’t enough to motivate him to reach out to me.

A tear slips down my cheek, and I quickly bat it away as I finish curling my hair. From the beginning, Xavier warned me that he wasn’t a good guy and that I shouldn’t trust him, but I didn’t listen.

Through it all, I thought a good guy who had a heart of gold was beneath that tough exterior. It seems my gut was wrong about him because here I sit—alone, in a hotel room, across the country from the city I call home now—and Xavier hasn’t even had the decency to call and check on me. He’s the only person in the world I want to talk to about this baby and all the emotions I’m feeling—happiness, sadness, fear—but he’s making that impossible.

It crushes me that he could be so cold. Why would my heart allow me to fall in love with someone who didn’t really care about me like I’d thought? Turns out, he’s an excellent actor in and out of the ring.

I talked to Quinn, and I almost confided in her about the baby, but it wouldn’t be right if she knew about me being pregnant before Xavier did.

My cell rings, and I answer and put it on speaker, “Hello?”

“Hey, Anna. I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes. Would you like for me to come to your room to escort you to the vehicle?” Jorge asks, his manners ever present.

“That’s sweet of you, but I’ll meet you downstairs. They charge an arm and a leg to park at this hotel because it’s downtown.”

“You sure?” he asks with a bit of skepticism in his voice. “It’s really no trouble for me to come up and make sure you’re safe.”

“I’m positive.” I shut off my curling iron and add the last minute touches of makeup. “This hotel is perfectly safe.”

“All right. I’ll see you in a bit.”

We end our call, and it finally hits me that I’m about to face Jorge after running away from him. A jitter passes through me, but I quickly shake it off, reminding myself that it’s okay to be tough and live life the way I want and not by the rules my family set forth.

I double-check the modest black cocktail dress I’m wearing and hope I’m not overdressed for wherever Jorge is taking me for dinner.

After waiting in the lobby for a few minutes, Jorge’s blue Audi cruises the drive in front of the hotel. I smile, but I’m still completely terrified as I step outside, and Jorge gets out of the car.

He rounds the front of the car in a few long strides and makes his way over to me. His black hair is a touch longer than the normal crew cut he usually sports, but it’s not out of place with the gray suit he’s wearing. If anything, he’s more stylish.

Jorge’s dark eyes roam over me before moving back up to lock on my face. “Wow, Anna. You look amazing. You’re practically glowing.”

I smile, knowing he really means the compliment because Jorge isn’t one to stray from the truth. “Thank you. You do as well. I love the hair. It’s really working for you.”

He grins, and his perfectly white teeth practically sparkle as he runs his fingers through the strands on the top of his head. “Thanks. It’s the longest it’s been in years. My father hates it.”

I laugh. Jorge’s father is the pastor of my family’s church and has some strict rules when it comes to the appearance of his children. Jorge’s rebellion with the hair has to be getting under his father’s skin.

Jorge reaches down and opens the passenger door for me. “Ready?”

I nod and slide onto the seat.

Jorge puts the transmission in drive, and we set out on the busy downtown Seattle streets, making small talk, until we pull up next to a fancy-looking steak house where he gives his keys to a valet. He extends an elbow to me as we head inside.

The place is posh, decorated head to toe in expensive curtains and table linens, and it’s clear it will cost a pretty penny to eat here.

The hostess, dressed in a white button-down shirt and black vest, smiles at us from behind a podium. “Welcome to Alma Maria. Name on the reservation?”

“Elizondo.” Jorge’s last name rolls off his tongue with ease.

The woman nods after scanning a list of names. “Ah, yes. Here you are. Elizondo, table for two. Right this way.”

The hostess stops at a small table and lays thick book-like menus down for us. “Enjoy.”

Jorge pulls out my chair and then slides into the seat across from me. He unfolds the white cloth napkin onto his lap.

Before we even have a chance to speak, a man approaches the table with a white towel draped across his forearm while holding a bottle of wine. “Good evening. I’m Matthew. I’ll be your waiter tonight. May I start you off with a sample of our finest house wine?”

“Absolutely,” Jorge says as he nudges his empty wine glass toward the edge of the table.

“And for you, miss?”

The man begins to tip the bottle to pour some for me, but I quickly hold my hand over the opening of the glass.

“None for me. Thanks. Can I just have water instead?”

“Not a problem, miss. I’ll have that right out to you.”

He disappears, and once he’s out of earshot, I glance up at Jorge, who is suspiciously watching me.

“No wine? I figured, now that you were away from Simon, you’d be partying it up.”

“Being able to drink and have fun aren’t the reasons I ran away from home, Jorge.”

He licks his lips. “Was it being engaged to me that freaked you out?”

“No…yes—I mean, it wasn’t you per se. It was the idea of being with someone who I didn’t have fire with that scared me.”

He raises his eyebrows and sighs. “I see.”

Suddenly, I feel bad about being so open with him. It obviously hurt his feelings. I might not be in love with him, but it doesn’t mean that I want to hurt him either.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

His brows furrow. “Then, what exactly did you mean when you said you felt no fire with me?”

I rub my forehead. This is harder than I thought it would be. I don’t like it when people are upset with me because it rattles me.

My goal in meeting with Jorge tonight was to be honest with him and eliminate any anger he might have against me because our fathers are still close.

“I apologize for how I chose to end things with you. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but deep down, we both knew that we weren’t right for one another, that we were never really in love.”

“No. We were. In fact, I think I still love you, despite what you did.”

“But how do you know you love me?”

“I just know.”

“That’s not a good answer,” I tell him. I hope that what I say next will make him understand that he simply loves me out of obligation and not because a passion inside us pushes us together. “Have you missed me since I left?”

His face softens. “Of course, I have.”

“Did it kill you? Did it crush your soul to think we would never be together again?”

That takes him off guard, and when he doesn’t say anything for a moment, I can see the wheels turning.

“If you have to think about it, that’s how you know. If you’d ever truly had your heart shattered, you’d know it. It’s a feeling that doesn’t go away.”

Jorge nods. “Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”

My mind wanders to Xavier and how it’s been days since I’ve heard from him and how much it hurts.

“I am,” I whisper. “And getting your heart broken hurts like a bitch.”

Jorge’s eyes widen, and he nearly chokes on the red wine he was sipping. “I never expected profanity to come out of your mouth.”

I laugh. “I’ve changed, Jorge. Leaving Portland a few months ago has really made me grow up and see the world in an entirely different light. Growing up the way we did sheltered us, Jorge. The world outside of the church isn’t so bad. There are a lot of good people out there, and it doesn’t make us better than them because we attended church on a regular basis..”

He sighs. “Were our lives so bad?”

“No. But truthfully, I wasn’t happy.”

He eyes me over his wineglass. “And are you happy now?”

His question is meant to have a simple answer, but it’s difficult for me to give him one. On one hand, I’m ecstatic about the freedom I’ve gained since I left home, but on the other hand, I’m dealing with the loss of Xavier and the cruel reality that I might end up being a single mother, struggling to take care of a baby all by myself. All in all, I’m happy with a whole lot of scared shitless mixed in, but I don’t regret making the decision to leave home.

“Yes, I’m happy.”

He raises his glass to me. “Then, that’s all that matters.”

The rest of our evening is far less intense. Our conversation flows easily, and he even fills me in on how my mother and father are doing since they haven’t spoken to me in a while.

“You should visit them while you’re in Portland next week. It would mean the world to your mother to see you. She’s been missing you like crazy.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Father and I didn’t part on good terms.”

Jorge nods. “I heard. Your new boyfriend got in his face?”

I twist my lips. “That’s not
exactly
what happened, but yes, they did have some heated words. But Xavier wasn’t wrong for standing up to Father.”

He sighs. “Simon can be hotheaded, but he really does love you, Anna.”

My eyes burn as I think of my parents. If we keep fighting like this, they’ll never know their grandchild. None of that makes a difference though because Father will never accept me, especially after finding out that I got pregnant outside of wedlock.

“Don’t cry, Anna.” Jorge hands me the cloth napkin he unfolded. “If you miss them so much, go see them and fix things before they get too out of control to be made right again.”

I sniff as the fear of facing Father races through me. “I’ll think about it.”

Jorge smiles. “Let me know if you want to see them. I’d be happy to chauffeur you around.”

“I’ll have to think about it.”

“Please do. With Tension staying so close, it might just make more sense to stay in the Pacific Northwest for a while. You could use the next couple of weeks to spend time here with your family.”

What he said makes sense. With no word from Xavier, what would be the point in rushing across the country for only a couple of days in Detroit between shows unless it was to check on him and make sure he was all right?

My mind instantly begins rolling with a ton of thoughts.

What if Kai hurt Xavier?

What if he’s not answering because he can’t?

Panic shoots through me, and I pop up from the table in such a quick manner that it startles Jorge and causes heads to turn in my direction.

“You all right?” Jorge asks.

“Yes, fine. I need to make a phone call. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay…”

The confusion on Jorge’s face morphs into concern, but I don’t explain the situation any further before I turn and rush away from him.

My fingers fly over the buttons on my phone as I search for the number for Nettie’s Diner, and then I quickly hit Call as I pace back and forth in the hallway leading to the restrooms.

The phone rings three times before it’s picked up. “Nettie’s.”

“Hey, Nettie. It’s Anna. I know this might sound strange, but have you seen Xavier lately?”

My heart pounds as I wait on her to say something. If she’s seen him, it means he’s fine, and he is truly ignoring me, but if she hasn’t, then another type of panic will set in.

The chatter of the people in the restaurant sounds in the background as she speaks, “I sure have. He stayed here last night.”

My heart drops as I receive my answer. Guess it was silly of me to worry about his safety when he’s clearly able to take care of himself. This information tells me where we stand.

I grip the phone tighter in my hand and lift my chin. “Can you please deliver a message to him for me?”

“Sure, honey.”

“Tell him I got his point loud and clear, and I won’t bother him ever again.”

“I swear, that boy…” Nettie tsks, and I’m about to tell her good-bye when she says, “Don’t give up on him, Anna, even if you want to.”

I sigh, understanding what she’s asking, but I won’t allow my heart to keep going through this. “I can’t do that, Nettie. Not anymore.” My lip quivers, and I can feel the tears coming on, but I don’t want to cry while I’m on the phone with her. “I’ve got to go.”

“No, Anna. Wait—”

I don’t give her time to finish her sentence before I end the call and lean back against the wall, shutting my eyes to hold in the tears.

This is the last sign I needed to give up on Xavier.

You don’t treat someone you love like this.

I have to find the strength to move on with my life.

Somehow, I manage to make it through dinner without completely breaking down. Jorge knew something was bothering me, but in typical Jorge fashion, he didn’t pry into my business for fear of being rude.

We don’t say much on the way back to the hotel. When the car comes to a stop in front of the door, I’m fully prepared to end our evening, but Jorge opts to have the attendant park his car.

I give him a curious look as he opens my door. “What are you doing?”

He extends his hand to me and helps me out. “You look like you need a friend.”

That’s so like him—always giving. It’s in his nature.

“It’s not necessary. I’ll be okay.”

He gives me a pointed look. “Anna, I know you. You’re hurting, and even though we are not together, I still consider you one of my best friends. Talk to me if it will make you feel better.”

I bite my lower lip, unwilling to part with what’s truly bothering me. I don’t want my parents to find out from someone other than me that I’m pregnant. Talking things out with Jorge is dangerous. I need to keep this to myself for a bit longer, even if I want some advice on what to do in this situation.

My lips pull back into a tight line. “I’m sorry, Jorge. I can’t tell you about this.”

He swallows while his eyes search my face. “I’ve really lost you, haven’t I?”