Read X-Treme Latin: Lingua Latina Extrema Online
Authors: Henry Beard
ECCLESIASTICAL LATIN
BOTANICAL LATIN
Basic Latin Pronunciation Guide
VOWELS
a
if long, as in “bl
ah
”; if short, as in “rub-
a
-dub”
e
if long, as in “ol
é
”; if short as in “f
eh
”
i
if long, as in “ ’z
i
ne”; if short as in “z
i
t”
o
if long, as in “d’
oh
”; if short as in “n
o
t”
u
if long, as in “d
u
de”; if short as in “wass
u
p”
There is really no simple way to tell if a vowel is long or short, but if the word is short—one syllable—treat the vowel as short. The last syllable of verb endings are almost always short. If
a, i, o,
or
u
, come at the end of a word, they’re long; if
e
comes at the end of a word, it’s short. If a vowel is followed by two consonants, it’s long. For other situations, pronuntia utrolibet modo! (wing it!)
DIPTHONGS
ae
as in “T
hai
”
au
as in “
ou
ch”
ei
as in “h
ey
”
eu
as in “
hey
,
you
”
oe
as in “
goy
”
ui
as in “pt
ui
”
CONSONANTS
b, d, f, h, l, m, n,
and
p
are the same as in English. So are
k
and
z
, which are rare in Latin anyway.
j, w
, and the consonant
y
don’t exist in Latin.
c, ch
always “k.” That’s a KIGH-sahr salad you ordered. You want ANN-koh-veese with that?
g, gn
always “
guh
.” The Romans were fighting the GUHR-mahns, not the JUR-mahns, and when they gave the signal to attack, it was a SIHG-nuhm (trumpet blast) not a SEE-nuhm (large bowl).
i
always “
yuh
.” It’s thanks to YOO-lih-uhss (not JOO-lee-yuss) that we celebrate the fourth of July instead of the fourth of Quinctil.
r
you can rrroll your r’s even if they’rrre the last letterrr of a worrrrd.
s
always “sss.” The Roman fanss (not fanz) were animalss (not animalz).
t, th
always “
teh
.” Teh-hey teh-rew teh-hings at eak ot-teh-her during teh-he nah-tih-oh-nahl (not nashunal) ant-hem (not anthum).
v
always “w.” The wolcano that waporized Pompeii was Weh-SOO-wee-uhss.
There are no silent letters in Latin—every vowel (unless it’s part of a two-syllable dipthong) and every consonant is always pronounced fully, and often separately. Of course, there are also no actual Romans around to give you the stink-eye when you mess up.
I
Lingua Latina Tironibus
Beginning Latin
Puellae filiae agricolarum sunt
The girls are the daughters of the farmers
Puellae pulchrae sunt
The girls are pretty
Puellae nautas in via spectant
The girls see the sailors in the street
Nautae pulchri sunt
The sailors are hunks
Puellae nautas salutant
The girls say hello to the sailors
O malam fortunam! Nautae male mares sunt
Too bad! The sailors are homos
Nautae ad puellas digitos impudicos porrigunt
The sailors give the girls the finger
Puellae nautas appellant
The girls call out to the sailors
“Speramus naviculam misellam vestram ad scopulum adlisam iri summersum”
“We hope your stupid boat hits a rock and sinks”
Puellae in forum descendere destinant et ibi mercimonium furari
The girls decide to go down to the mall and shoplift some stuff
Omnes paucis annis prosedae erunt
In a few years they will all be hookers
Latin Aptitude Test—
PROBATIO LATINITATIS
(answers below—
responsa recta in ima pagina
)
I. MATH — SCIENTIA MATHEMATICA
All Gaul is divided into___parts
Gallia est omnis divisa in partes
___
II. VERBAL — SCIENTIA VERBORUM
Arms and the man I sing, who first from the shores of___. . .
Arma virumque cano
___
qui primus ab oris . . .
III. EXTRA CREDIT — QUAESTIO ADDITA PRAEMII GRATIA
Whatever it is, I fear the Greeks even when bearing___
Quidquid id est, timeo Danaos et
___
ferentes
I., E; II, E; III, E.
Romulus and Remus Jokes—
ROMULI REMIQUE IOCULARIA
ROMULUS: Why did the sacred chicken cross the Appian Way?
ROMULUS: Quem ob rem pullus sacer viam Appiam transivit?
REMUS: I do not know. Let us cut it open and see if the entrails provide an explanation for this inauspicious behavior!
REMUS: Nescio. Eum evisceremus ut, extane ostensura sint illius infausti facti causam, comperiamus!
ROMULUS: Why do Roman firemen wear red suspenders?
ROMULUS: Cur gerunt siphonarii Romani retinacula rubra?
REMUS: I do not know—let us set the city ablaze and see if their pants fall down!
REMUS: Nescio. Urbem incendamus ut, sintne delapsurae bracae eorum, comperiamus!
ROMULUS: Why did the Helvetian moron throw the water clock out the window?
ROMULUS: Quare iecit caudex Helvetius clepsydram de fenestra?