Xvi (34 page)

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Authors: Julia Karr

Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Family, #General, #Social Issues, #Adolescence, #Girls & Women

BOOK: Xvi
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I’ve tried to leave Ed many times, but he continually threatens to choose Nina for FeLS if I do. I finally have the credits to buy out her contract. When I get it, I will send it to your mother. I have been stealing evidence from Ed’s files, collecting the proof we need to show what the FeLS organization really is. If anything happens to me, it’s hidden in our secret place.
***
My cheeks were hot with tears. Mrs. Jenkins put her arms around me and I sobbed until there were no tears left to cry.
I reread the letter—three times. “Alan is Dee’s father, too. Did you know that?”
Mrs. Jenkins shook her head. “After Ginnie became pregnant, she cut off all communication with everyone—except, apparently, Rita. It is possible that Rita knew.”
“Then why didn’t she ...”
“For your sake, Nina. It wouldn’t be difficult for the Bureau of Safety and Security to get information from a child.”
“But I didn’t know anything! What would I have known?”
“Are you sure? There must be something. Think back, dear.”
I went through the people in Ginnie’s life. “No one but Ed ever came to our modular. When we lived on Wrightwood, before Ed, there was Gran and Pops. Ginnie also had a couple of girlfriends from her work.” I sighed, and then it hit me. “There was a homeless man who made me clover chains, who we saw at the park ...” Then it hit me. “That was my father, wasn’t it?”
Mrs. Jenkins nodded.
I couldn’t take my eyes off my mom’s writing. Dee was my full sister. There wasn’t any connection to Ed at all. My father was her father. The family I thought I’d lost when my mother died ... it was still there. We would all, somehow, be together again. In a very few minutes, though, those good feelings turned to ice.
Ed. He was still out there, still thinking that Dee was his daughter. I shuddered to think what he might do if he ever found out the truth. I wondered if he suspected anything, since he was obsessed with finding my father.
“Do you know where Ginnie would have hidden this evidence?” Mrs. Jenkins asked.
“No.” Something horrible was going to come from this. I knew it. “I need to go home.”
“First we must take care of the message.” She opened the second bottle and brushed over the page again. In moments, the writing disappeared. “There is probably more written throughout the pages. It is best if I don’t let you take the solutions back with you. Too much temptation. You can’t risk this falling into the wrong hands.”
I nodded—my mind was numb with dread.
“Do you want me to keep the book here? I can lock it up.”
“No.” I took it from her. I couldn’t bear to know someone else held my family’s secrets. “Ginnie entrusted it to me. I have to get it to my father. If you or Mr. Jenkins hear anything, please let him know I have to see him. Tell him how important it is.”
“I will. Be careful, Nina.”
I retrieved my jacket from downstairs, stuck the book back in my waistband, and left. I didn’t even say good-bye to Wei.
Thankfully, the trip back was uneventful. When I got home, Dee met me at the door.
“Whatcha got under your coat?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re lying. You’re hiding something.”
She tried to unzip my jacket and I pushed her away.
“Quit being a jerk,” she said. “I was just fooling around. But since you’re being that way, I won’t tell you about Ed.” She flounced off and headed to her room.
Racing after her, I spun her around. “Dee! What about him? Tell me now!”
“What’s all the commotion?” Gran called from the kitchen.
“Nothing,” I called back while dragging Dee into my room. “Now, what about Ed?”
“You’re hurting me!” She struggled to get away.
“Dee. This isn’t a game.” I pulled her down on the bed next to me. The book dug into my gut, but I didn’t dare remove it or she’d start questioning me. “I’m sorry. Just tell me about Ed. Please. I’m afraid he’ll try to take you away, or maybe even hurt you.”
“Nina, he won’t hurt me. He’s my dad.”
I had to stop myself from blurting out the truth. If Dee knew she wasn’t Ed’s daughter, she’d act differently around him, or worse, she might slip and tell him. I couldn’t put her at more risk. I couldn’t tell anyone. “Dee, what exactly happened?”
“He called me. He said he missed me and he wants to see me. Maybe even go to the zoo with me, like fathers and daughters do.” She smiled. “He said since Mom’s gone, I need a father.”
I couldn’t breathe. My whole body shook and fear overwhelmed me. The edge of the book dug into my leg, and I grabbed my blanket pulling it tightly around me, keeping the book hidden away. “When, Dee. When did Ed say he wanted to see you?”
“He said he wanted to talk to you first. He tried to call you, but you must have been in a dead zone since you didn’t pick up.”
I stopped and focused for a moment, controlling my breath, trying to act casual. “Yeah, I must’ve been. There’s dead zones everywhere. I guess he’ll call me again. Hey ...” I stood up, still wrapped in the blanket. “Promise me you won’t talk to him again until I do, okay? For Mom’s sake?” I was pulling out everything I could to keep things under control. I could hardly believe I’d said that—that I’d use Ginnie’s memory to manipulate my little sister. But it got the desired result. Dee promised and sulked off to her own room.
Dropping the blanket, I pulled the book out of my jeans and stared at the cover. Ginnie’d been right about it containing answers. But the answers were far more dangerous than the questions. At least I’d moved closer to finding out all kinds of truths. Now, if I could only figure out where Ginnie and my father’s “secret place” was...
My PAV beeped. For a moment, I thought it might be Ed, but it was Sandy. Her shrieks were deafening. “He chose me! I’m in! I’m going to be a FeLS! Can you believe it?! Of course you can. Ed was the Chooser. I knew that he’d choose me because of your mother. He came and I reminded him that you and I were the best of friends. I hope that doesn’t bother you, Nina.”
“No. Sure, Sandy. That’s okay.” I felt as though the wind had been knocked out of me. No, Sandy, no ... I had forgotten that the Cementville Choosing took place before my school’s. I listened as long as I could stand it, all the time seeing Joan’s face, thinking about what Wei had said about the program. “There’s no way out?”
“Way out? Nina! Why would I want to get out? I’m going to be rich and famous!” She laughed. “The only thing left is the physical. And I’ll pass that, no prob. Finally, I get to be in FeLS! It’s—it’s just the ultra?! Oh, Nina, I wonder if we get to have sex during training? Speaking of that, how’s Sal? Have you had sex yet? If Sal was my boyfriend—”
“Sandy, I—” My stomach churned. “I’ve gotta go. See you tomorrow.”
I ran down the hall and puked my insides out into the toilet. When I stood up, Dee was in the doorway.
“I knew you were sick. You were acting so weird. I’m getting Gran.”
I grabbed her arm. “It’s okay, Dee. I feel better now that I threw up. If I lie down for a while, I’ll be fine.”
I knew she wasn’t entirely convinced, but we both went to our own rooms and shut our doors.
I stuck the baby book under my mattress and flopped onto the bed. Staring at the ceiling, I thought about how Ginnie’d loved my dad and me and Dee enough to give up her whole life for us.
I thought about the way I’d acted with Sal down by the river, what I’d said about the government, NonCons ... I knew I’d been wrong, but I didn’t realize how wrong.
I thought about Sandy, heading off to who knew what. At least there was a chance she could go to the right training center. If only she wasn’t a virgin ... Could anyone persuade her to have sex before the physical? I ran through the list of guys we knew in my head ... Mike, Derek ... A little voice in my head squeaked, Sal. My heart sank. What about Sal? She’d been so hot for him before, I was sure it wouldn’t take much ... But I wasn’t sure I could make that kind of sacrifice, or ask him to.
XLI
The next morning, I was up early and had coffee ready when Gran came into the kitchen. I needed to find my father and Ginnie’s favorite place, the “secret place” Ginnie referred to in the letter. I was afraid that coming straight out and asking about it might set off alarm bells, but couldn’t think of any other way.
“Did my dad and Ginnie have any favorite places besides Robin’s Roost?”
Gran poured herself a cup and sat down at the table. “No, I don’t think so. Ginnie particularly loved the view from the roof. The minister who married them was terrified of heights. You should have seen the look on his face when Ginnie insisted that he stand near the edge of the roof so that she and Alan could look out over Lincoln Park as they took their vows. Poor man.” She took a sip of the coffee. “You’re getting pretty good at making the real thing.” She smiled at me. “It helps to know how to do some things without the help of cookers and chillers and all these other kitchen gadgets.”
I ignored her compliment. “Did they go up on the roof a lot?”
“I think they did,” Gran said, narrowing her eyes at me. “Why the sudden interest?”
“No reason,” I lied. “I’m just trying to learn all I can about my father.”
“Sometimes too much knowledge is a dangerous thing.” Gran put down her coffee cup and got up. “Time to get breakfast going. Your grandfather will be up soon.” She took some ingredients from the cook center. “You know, I do remember that every year on their anniversary, Alan would rent the roof of Robin’s Roost for the two of them. He and Ginnie would spend the night dining and dancing above the city lights. It was very romantic.”
That settled it. I needed to get to the roof of Robin’s Roost, and soon, before they demolished it. But first things first. I’d already promised Gran I’d help her clean the apartment, and we’d take Dee to the aquarium. Though I was worried about Ed—as always—knowing that Wei’s parents had people keeping an eye on me made me slightly less nervous. By the time I got home from the aquarium, it was nearly time to go to Soma.
Wei showed up early. I could tell by her expression that she wanted to know what we’d uncovered in the book. But I knew that if I told her, she’d be in danger, too.
As we passed Dee’s door, I glanced in. “Remember ...”
“Gah, Nina. I promised, didn’t I?”
It was freezing outside and Gran insisted on wrapping a tensalite scarf around my neck before she’d let us leave. I felt like I was five again.
Wei and I got on the trans and headed to the back.
“I’d better call Sandy and tell her we’re going to be a little late meeting at Soma.” I tried her PAV several times, but there was no answer. I left a message. “There’s somewhere we have to stop at before we get there.”
“It has to do with your meeting with Mom?”
“Yep. Are your dad’s friends still hanging around?”
“I don’t know—I don’t think so, since we’re together.”
At Lincoln and Wells, Wei and I did a thorough scope-out to be sure no one was watching us, then snuck around back of Robin’s Roost. I knew there had to be a way inside, other than the front door. I was prepared to break a window, but luckily the door at the bottom of the stairs swung open easily.
Wei stuck her head inside. “This is cool!” She dug around in her pocket. “We can use this for light.” She clicked on her PAV receiver and shone the light on the floor of the storage room.
I pulled her inside and shut the door. “I think it’s DZ here.” I tried calling Sandy again. No tone at all. “Yep. Definitely DZ. Listen, we’ve got to get up on the roof. I’m sure Ginnie left something up there for my father. We have to get it.”
“Wait, is that what was you and my mom found in the book?”
“Yes.” I explained, leaving out the part about Dee being my real sister. “Come on.” I pulled out my receiver and turned on the light, too, leading the way down the narrow hallway. The door at the end opened into what had been a kitchen. The place was a mess. Cabinets had pulled away from the walls and were hanging by who knew what. Things were strewn all over. Old cook centers, prep tables, and debris littered the room. A chiller lay faceup on the floor; its door was nowhere to be seen. Up by the ceiling a row of grime-covered windows let in a sickly bit of glow from the late afternoon. There was no reason to worry that anyone outside would see our pathetic PAV lights.

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