Yes, Justin (2 page)

He put his suitcase into his car and headed for the rental place to change his SUV for the one Oasis had reserved for their trip. It would give Trish time to settle the girls at her parents’ house and walk to the pickup location.

Oasis had sent her a list of items to bring along in the bag they’d provided. She couldn’t bring her own purse, not that it mattered. It was full of receipts and to-do lists, evidence of the life she wanted to escape.

She rummaged through the bag to make sure everything was there, locked up the house, and walked the three blocks to the main road bordering her subdivision on the north side. The sun shone brightly in one of those wonderful spring days that made her want to run barefoot in the grass. She wore jeans and a tank top, as per the instructions, and tennis shoes.

She didn’t feel sexy or desirable. She didn’t feel like anything other than the thirty-six-year-old mother of two who could no longer wear the same sizes she had when she was a teen. A sigh whooshed from between her lips as she stopped at the appointed location. The strip mall boasted a pharmacy, a sports bar, and a quick oil-change station. She stood on the narrow sidewalk between the pharmacy and the road, keeping the pale brick wall at her back.

A black SUV stopped on the road in front of her. Patricia held her breath. The instructions said he would be driving a black SUV. She wondered what he would look like, this mystery man whose fantasy matched hers.

The light turned green, and the SUV turned the corner and disappeared. Patricia’s shoulders drooped, an outward sign of her nervousness and disappointment.

Suddenly, the world went black. A hand clamped over her mouth to muffle her impending shriek. Her heart beat fast, but she willed her body to calm down. This was what she wanted. She had asked to be kidnapped by a dominant stranger. He was going to spend the weekend using her body for his pleasure.

The paperwork she had filled out specified the kinds of things to which she consented: kidnapping, bondage, spankings, and a whole host of sexual things she had always wanted to try. These were things she had been too ashamed to share with Justin. Even if he still cared for her sexually, he wouldn’t understand this side of her desire.

“Patricia?” The gruff voice sent shivers down her spine. His chest pressed against her back. He was roughly the same size and build as Justin, just as she had specified in her application.

His hand remained over her mouth. Wordlessly, she nodded. Her head didn’t move all that much, but she knew he felt the motion of her confirmation.

“I’m going to release you. Don’t turn around or move until I tell you to do so. Do you understand?” He whispered the words in a sexy, husky voice.

A thrill ran from her belly to her pussy. She craved this kind of danger. She nodded again. He removed his hands.

Light flooded her eyes, blinding her to the empty road in front. She took a deep breath through her mouth, and the darkness returned. This time, a silky blindfold pressed against her forehead and cheeks. He adjusted the elastic strap behind her head.

“Can you see?”

Patricia shook her head. No light peeked in from any point. The swatch of silk hugged the curves of her cheeks and molded to the bridge of her nose.

“I’m going to guide you to the car. Follow my directions exactly. From this point forward, you are slave, and I am Sir. The safe word is ‘oasis.’ Do you understand?” He spoke this directive in a gravelly whisper, telling her things she already knew. She had chosen the safe word and the terms by which they would be known. He had obviously studied the paperwork.

She wondered if he would ever use his real voice. The force and strength weren’t disguised, but she still wanted to hear what he really sounded like. “Yes.”

“Yes?” Now he growled.

It did the trick. “Yes, Sir.”

Without using more words than necessary, he guided her to the car and helped her inside. Strong hands aided her in securing the seat belt. He leaned across her, and Patricia inhaled his clean scent, looking for any clue that might tell her something about her mystery man. From the few times he’d brushed lightly against her, she knew she liked his build, but she wasn’t able to discern anything more.

The door closed, blocking out the distant sounds of traffic. The opposite door opened, then closed. Patricia listened to the small noises that indicated his movements as he latched his seat belt and started the car.

Silence filled the SUV. No music played on the radio to distract her from thoughts about what might happen in the next few hours. Minutes stretched. The dull sounds of other cars faded, and she guessed they were heading out of the city.

She hoped to God he wasn’t going to murder her and dump the body. Oasis promised thorough background checks. They had certainly checked out every aspect of her background.

Nothing about this man seemed overly dangerous or threatening. Though his voice had been gruff and low, he didn’t sound cruel, and he had been gentle and courteous as he loaded her into the car. She wished she could see his eyes. The eyes revealed so much of a person’s soul, and Patricia had always found herself attracted to eyes. Her husband had gentle blue eyes. She used to get wet just looking into his expressive baby blues. How long had it been since she had taken the time to actually look at him?

“Take off your shoes and socks.”

The directive, like the ride, was quiet and controlled. This man exuded strength, which she liked. However, her panties remained dry. Her body didn’t respond the same way as the myriad heroines in her favorite erotic novels. So far, the experience interested her. Except for that first moment, no sense of excitement had rushed through her veins. She had thought waiting would increase her sense of anticipation, but she found waiting while blindfolded to be highly overrated as a method of increasing anything other than her frustration and impatience.

Patricia toed off one sneaker and then the other. She peeled away the plain white ankle socks.

She wiggled her toes against the floor mat. It was clean, scratching gently at the bottoms of her feet.

“Good girl. Lose the jeans.”

Patricia hesitated. “We’re in public.”

“No talking, slave. Remove your jeans or you will be punished.”

She knew they were well outside of the city limits. She knew the countryside boasted very little population. The chance of anyone seeing her was slim to none. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to unbutton her jeans. Nobody but Justin had seen her naked in more years than she could remember. She wasn’t young and svelte anymore. Two pregnancies and the passage of years had left their marks.

More than that, Patricia wanted Justin. This fantasy was doomed from the start because Justin was the only man she wanted to see her naked, to touch her, to kiss her. She couldn’t do this. The fantasy had sounded so wonderful on paper. Oasis promised the fulfillment of her deepest desires—but her deepest desires involved her husband.

Tears soaked the back of the blindfold, pressing hot against her eyelids. “I can’t do this.”

Silence greeted her declaration. This fantasy belonged to him as much as it belonged to her. Patricia’s heart beat faster. What if he didn’t let her out of her agreement?

“Please take me back. I can’t do this.” She choked on the words and begged with every fiber of her being.

“No one is around, slave. No one will see you but me.”

There was something in his throaty whisper, something familiar that reminded her too much of Justin. Her heart broke as the reality of what she was doing crashed into her consciousness. She was cheating on Justin. She was cheating on the man to whom she had pledged her fidelity and love. Her tears came faster.

“Oasis. I can’t do this. I’m married. I love my husband. This was a mistake, a huge mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking.” She didn’t care that he heard her sobs.

The car slowed, and Patricia breathed a sigh of relief as she anticipated the U-turn that would take her home. She could be back before Justin ever knew she was gone.

Gravel crunched under the tires as the car stopped. Patricia yanked away the blindfold. It wasn’t that she wanted to see this mystery man as much as that she wanted to apologize for ruining his fantasy.

She turned to him and gasped. Unreadable blue eyes stared at her. Tiny, familiar laugh lines edged them, though no smile lit his face. His lips were drawn tight against his teeth in an almost grimace. Several expressions—anger, hurt, determination—suggested themselves, but nothing definite manifested.

“Justin.”

“Trish.”

Humiliation and shame fought to be her dominant emotion. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t know why I did this.” She reached for her socks.

“Leave them.”

The hard edge to his voice halted her actions. “You have every right to be mad at me.”

He turned to stare at something near the steering wheel. “You were planning to cheat on me.”

She had nothing to say to that. A denial would be appropriate, but it would be a lie, and she had already apologized.

“It’s my fault,” he said. His strong, confident voice came out quiet and subdued. “I work late all the time, and I’m frequently gone on the weekends. I leave you alone a lot. You joke about being a single mother, but it isn’t a joke, not really. When I stand back and I look at my role in our family, I don’t see that I’m necessary.”

She had to interrupt him. “You’re necessary, Justin. The girls love you. They miss you when you’re gone. It’s just that they’re so used to you not being around.”

Patricia trailed off, having made the wrong point. This was another thing to add to the list of ways in which they no longer communicated. Everything she said always came out wrong.

His long fingers were splayed across his thighs. He pressed the tips hard against his muscles there, rendering the skin around his nails a bloodless white. “When I found out what you were planning, I was so pissed at you.”

She held her breath and tried not to look at him. Anguish burned her insides.

“But then I thought about it from your perspective.”

Something in his voice changed. He traced the seam on the side of his jeans, and she knew his anger had fled.

“I’m not having an affair, Trish. I’ve never even thought about having one. I can’t remember the last time I made love to you. We haven’t had sex in months. I miss it, but I’m not looking elsewhere.”

She had wondered about his fidelity so many times, but she had always avoided thinking about what it meant for their relationship. The idea of him with another woman made her feel numb inside. She had been too afraid of the pain to face the issue head-on. The sad state of their relationship was a painful topic, but she knew Justin needed to have his say. She owed him that much.

“When we decided to have kids, we promised each other that our relationship would always come first, that we would make a point to communicate with each other. We haven’t done that, not really.”

She knew what he meant. Telling him the times and locations of their daughters’ soccer games wasn’t conversation. It was small talk, filler. It was all they had.

He played with the locking mechanism on the keychain dangling from the ignition. She watched him from the corner of her eye. “When I saw your answers on the questionnaire, I was a little shocked. Mostly, it made me sad.” Now he looked at her, piercing her with those eyes she never could resist. “I wondered why you never told me you wanted those things, but then I realized the answer was pretty obvious.”

Patricia closed her eyes against the judgment she knew was coming. The things she had asked for on her application were kinky and a little perverted. She had needed to look up some of the items on the Internet. In order to fill in the survey, she’d had to learn the difference between a flogger, a tawse, and a single-tail. Terms like “butt plug” and “anal beads” were no longer vague images in her head. Even nipple clamps came in a variety of styles she never would have imagined. In fifteen years, Justin had never indicated an interest in any of those things.

While filling out the questionnaire, the veil of anonymity had acted as a protective barrier. She didn’t care if strangers judged her. She only cared about Justin’s opinion.

“Are you going to divorce me?”

He stared at her for too long. His silence and lack of reaction made her squirm. She hadn’t meant to ask that question. She didn’t want to give him that out.

Finally, he shook his head. “No, Trish. I don’t want to live my life without you. I would kill the man who touched you, but I would never give you up.”

She sagged with relief, but her body trembled uncontrollably. He clicked the release on her seat belt and pulled her across the console and onto his lap. She pressed her face into his shoulder, and he smoothed back her hair. It had been so very long since he had held her like this. The sweetness of his care made her shake harder. He stroked her until her tremors subsided. Then he just held her against him.

“I can’t tell you how relieved I was when you asked me to take you home. Truthfully, I was surprised you got in the car with me in the first place. I honestly thought you’d chicken out way before now.” He murmured the words against her temple. The caress of his lips against that sensitive patch of skin made her yearn for far more than she had a right to expect.

The laugh that forced its way from her chest was of the bemused variety. “I only got into the car because when you blindfolded me, you pressed your chest against my back and I, well, you felt like you.”

Justin grasped her chin, tilting her face to his. The kiss was gentle, full of tenderness and regret. Though he had said he would never let her go, Patricia wondered where this fiasco left the state of their marriage.

When the kiss ended, she shifted, trying to avoid the awkwardness of the situation. The futility of the effort struck her. She gathered courage and asked the question she should have asked when she tore the blindfold off to see him sitting in the driver’s seat. “Justin, what are you doing here?”

She expected him to shrug or feign indifference, but steely determination glittered behind his eyes. “Oasis contacted me. It took them some time to convince me it was for real, but once I saw the paperwork, I realized they knew you wanted me. It was pretty obvious.”