Yes to Everything (41 page)

Taking in the stubborn set of her little brother’s expression, she’d asked herself what Rex would do. As a man who’d always gone his own way and made no apologies for it, she knew he’d tell her to loosen the apron strings and let her brother find his own path.

So she’d bought him a truck and released the trust fund she’d set up for him. If he was old enough to work and help with his sisters, he was damn well old enough to manage his own money. He’d helped supervise the work done on the house and was still touring with One Man’s Dream. He came back for a few days here and there but she missed him like crazy.

Buttercup tossed her head in impatience and Brooke sighed because she wasn’t ready to run yet.

Jeanette and Mack would be arriving the next day with baby Sofia and using Jackson’s old room at his insistence. Boyd, Sidney, and Zane would sleep in the room that had once belonged to her parents since it had a king-size bed.

Before she’d hired any of her staff, she’d been clear on open-mindedness and confidentiality. She wouldn’t have her friends made to feel uncomfortable or, worse, have their business leaked to the tabloids. Sidney’s relationship with her men, though openly flaunted by the three of them, wasn’t even looked at strangely by Kate or the protection staff. All of them were beyond loyal and dedicated to her and her family.

Travis would also be arriving within the next couple of days. He came to visit often and usually stayed over to spend time with her and the kids. His fourth wife was pregnant with his fifth child and he often either ran away from home or was bluntly told to get out. Brooke found it highly amusing and called him an eternal optimist. He didn’t disagree.

Logan and Decklan had owned the land across the road from her since she joined the band. She’d never known until she came back after losing Rex and realized they’d already poured the foundation on the house they were having built there.

The construction was gradual and they rented a house in town in the meantime. The twins ate dinner with Brooke and the girls at least four nights a week. There were nights they’d get to playing music or watching movies and one or the other would fall asleep on the couch. The other would crash in one of the guest rooms upstairs.

Entering the cooler forested area of her property, she thought back on the first three months after Rex’s death. Before she’d left Chicago, she’d been a wreck since everywhere she turned were memories of their life together. Of the love they’d shared. It had been gut-wrenching to venture within five miles of where he’d been killed.

Once the necessary work had been done on her old place, she’d been glad to leave Chicago behind. To put some distance between her heart and her greatest loss. Even here, the pain had nearly consumed her the first year. Some mornings it had taken everything she had to get out of bed, to carry on through her day. Brooke had ached for Rex and thought about him constantly. She’d sometimes caught herself talking to him as if he was standing beside her.

His flag and medals were framed and displayed in her office. Many of his sketches were hanging around the house. Becca had begged for his many sketch books and Brooke had given them to her with a promise to treat them carefully. A promise that had been unnecessary and she should have known that.

She’d been out of it the first Christmas without him but the second had been the turning point. Where it was either going to start getting better or take a turn for the worse. It had been a little over a year since she’d lost her man and her strength in dealing with that fact seemed to come and go.

One minute all of them had been laughing, singing carols, and having fun. The next, she’d pulled out the ornaments for the tree and found the tiny solid gold fiddle ornament Rex had bought her. He’d given it to her their first Christmas together. On the back was engraved, “Marry me, Brooke”. She’d dropped it and run from the house in a fit of hysterics so bad she’d fallen trying to climb the fence into the fields.

Logan had cleared the enclosure in one leap and caught her in his arms. She’d fought him, punching and screaming until he’d crushed her against him and she fell into angry tears. Her bodyguards had come running, their guns drawn, Mack and the others had ordered them to stand down. When the situation was explained, the men had nodded with pained expressions.

Moments later, Decklan passed them holding a heavy coat and a huge quilt. Without pausing as he approached and climbed the fence, he said, “Go back inside, now, all of you.” His tone had told them he wasn’t asking and the three Marines respected that. Motioning to the bodyguards, Brooke and the twins were left alone in the field.

They spread the quilt out and laid Brooke between them wrapped in the coat, pulling the sides around their bodies and holding her as she sobbed. After a long time, when she’d subsided into gasping breaths, they wiped her tears and simply stayed close, letting her know she wasn’t alone.

In the pale light coming from the outbuildings, Decklan asked softly, “Brooke, do you remember our very first photo shoot when you were laughing and wondering how your mama would feel about you on your back in the hay with two men?” She gave a little hiccup laugh and nodded. “Vaughn’s standing over you, making little comments in Italian and you totally busted his ass on it. His face was priceless.” On their sides, the brothers watched her lips curve.

“You’re so beautiful, so honest. The whole world woke up and paid attention. They fell for you immediately. All your charity work, the unplanned performances, every kindness endears you to so many, Brooke. Knowing you has made so many things better on this planet, including our music and our lives.” Logan pulled a lock of her hair away from her face, holding it in his fingers and stroking it with his thumb. “Asking you to join us was the best decision we ever made, honey.”

They were quiet for a long time, listening to the night sounds of the country. “I…I’m sorry I lost it. We’re all…laughing, having fun, and he died in a pool of his own blood. I don’t have any right, you know? I have no right to laugh when he took seven bullets and still managed to save me. I’m a horrible person and I should be ashamed.” Her voice was sad and tears fell silently from her eyes.

Decklan stared at her, “So you should keep feeling the pain as if it’s fresh?” She nodded and started to respond but he cut her off, “Because Rex would want that, wouldn’t he, honey? He’d want you crying, not laughing your gorgeous laugh, and smiling that beautiful smile with your family and friends who love you so much? He’d rather you sat alone in a dark room starving yourself and wearing his t-shirt? You’re sure about that, Brooke?”

Logan added, “Because when I think about Rex, I think about how much he loved to make you laugh, loved hearing you break out in song for no reason, loved to dance with you. He loved seeing you on stage. He constantly reminded you to eat and drink because really, you’re the worst nourished person I know, baby. If you saw something sad in the news, saw a person suffering and the sadness was bad for you, he always took you to Corps Values afterwards and made you dance and sing with the band all night.” Logan stroked his finger gently along her jaw.

Decklan took her hand and she tugged it into the valley of her breasts. “If you were frustrated, he kissed you out of it, Brooke. He never liked seeing you sad or angry. So with all those things we saw on the outside, you’re telling us he’d rather you cry alone and in pain than decorate the tree with people who love you? Especially your little sisters who so loved the Christmases they got to have with Rex? Biker Santa was the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

He grinned down at her, “He bought us blow up dolls, Brooke. Yeah, we thought it was amusing. Plus, they were holding Super Bowl tickets so it was all good.”

She smiled at the memory since she’d walked in on him blowing up the dolls and had tilted her head in confusion. The expression on his face, caught mid-exhale blowing up a sex doll had been priceless. His first words had been, “I can explain…”

When she shared that memory with them, the three of them laughed. Brooke asked softly, “How do things seem so clear to you when it all seems so sad and foggy to me?”

“Oh, Brooke, it’s mainly because we’re on the outside. Also, watching you is our hobby. We looked up to Rex, studied the way he treated the people in his life, especially you. I feel like we’d know more what he’d want for you than even Mack would. Don’t ask any more questions. Your sisters are waiting, honey. Do you think you’re okay to head back inside?” Logan’s voice was quiet, controlled, and Brooke sensed there was much he wasn’t saying.

She stared at him for a long moment and he leaned over to kiss her chastely on her lips. Turning her head to Decklan, she waited and he did the same. Squeezing their hands, she whispered, “Thank you. I needed to be still. You were always able to take my mind off things. It was other areas where we had our problems.”

Brooke sighed and picked up their hands, kissing their knuckles, sitting up. They were up and pulling her to her feet in moments. “I’m glad you…you both talk to me again. I missed you very much after the first tour.”

Logan held onto her hand, his voice intense, “Brooke, we never stopped talking to you, honey.” He glanced at his brother, mentally reviewing how they’d treated her after the first tour, when she was so deeply in love with Rex it seemed to glow around her.

The envy they’d felt at how effortlessly he made her happy. She was secure in his love for her even if Rex sometimes wondered why she was with him. They had seen the evidence of his doubt before shows, after photo shoots. The brothers had pulled back for him because he deserved her and they didn’t.

Brooke stared into the distance, remembering how they’d expanded the emotional gap she’d put in place to protect her heart. “You stopped being real. Everything was shallow crap meant to kill an awkward thirty seconds before show time. You stopped looking me in the eye, stopped holding my hands before a concert, avoided me unless I had the kids. You’d talk to them but not me.” Brooke swallowed hard. “It…it hurt my feelings. I’m glad you’re speaking to me again.”

“We didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, Brooke. We didn’t. It was…god, we can’t go there right now. We’ll talk more another time, a better time. Let’s get you back inside before you freeze or they all think we’re taking advantage.” Decklan bent and picked up the blanket, going to the fence as Brooke stared after him with her head tilted.

Glancing up at Logan, she said, “I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.”

She walked to the fence and climbed it, walking to the house with her hands in her pockets. She’d gone immediately to the piano and played Jingle Bells, trying to bring back the earlier mood. The kids caught it and she faked it, her friends unsure what to say or do. She wasn’t okay but she was so much better than she had been. Logan and Decklan picked up instruments and played with her, staring at her while she played with her eyes closed.

Since last Christmas, they’d touched her more but never inappropriately, never with seduction in mind. As time passed, she wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed. It seemed her mind, heart, and body, were all in conflict over Logan and Decklan’s place in her life.

She’d agreed to partially going back to work last spring using the original studio in Dallas. The first session, Brooke had been amazed at the changes to the grounds. Twelve-foot-high fencing topped with barbed wire surrounded the building and parking lot. There was a guard gate with two armed attendants who’d been happy to meet her and assured her no one would get through who wasn’t part of the staff. Thanking them, she’d been more surprised by the security measures taken inside the building.

Informed by the receptionist that the glass for the building had been upgraded to handle the impact of a .50 caliber round, she was given a map showing the safe rooms on each floor. The young woman was new since the last time she’d been here.

“There’s a security checkpoint at the entrance to the grounds, here at the building main entry, and on each of the three floors, Miss Kincaid. Additional cameras have been installed so every inch of space is recorded and monitored. Connor is going to show you up to the studios. My name is Nicole. If you need anything at all, you let me know. May I also say, you look lovely and it’s wonderful to see you out in the world again. Everyone here is rooting for you, ma’am.”

Thanking her quietly, she’d followed her escort to the studio she’d used the day she’d met Travis and the twins for the first time. She felt a sense of nostalgia that clenched her heart. Connor smiled as he opened the door and the technicians caught sight of her.

Her own bodyguard had driven her down and shadowed her now, stepping forward when they would have swarmed her in greeting. Putting her hand on the arm of the huge black man she was certain would give his life to protect her should it ever came to that, she whispered, “It’s alright, Leo. I know everyone here.” They’d hugged her and there were tears but not as many with more than a year buffering her from Rex’s death.

Every day she got stronger.

A few minutes later, Travis and the twins entered the studio. “You’re early, darlin’,” Travis murmured as he wrapped her in a hug. “I don’t know why that should surprise me. You always liked bein’ ahead of the game.” He stepped back and held her upper arms in his hands. “You ready, Brooke?”

She nodded, accepted hugs from the twins, and got to work.

The record label had accepted and even encouraged Broken Bronco’s hiatus from the public eye. They’d taken two summers off from touring but finished then released the album that had been almost finished when Rex was killed. A bonus track featured her cover of She Talks to Angels and Brooke had cried when she heard it.

Since the album dropped, it had gone platinum even without a tour to plug it. Travis had arranged small venues within a couple of hours from her home to ease Brooke back into performing live. At first afraid, she’d quickly realized how much she needed music in her life and it was gradually starting to heal her.

Over the past three months, Travis had started booking them a little further from home, slowly pulling her from her comfort zone in southwest Oklahoma. He booked Broken Bronco at small clubs and theaters in New Orleans, Houston, and San Antonio.