Yesterday's Sins (7 page)

"He consulted my father? Over me? Asked my family to come? Why would Alex do that?"

"He was desperately worried about you, Kate. You were in a very fragile emotional state. He was frightened, that because of him, you were going to have a nervous breakdown."
 

The memory of those awful months after Sarah's birth had Kate burying her face in her upraised knees. "I did," she muttered under her breath. "Later."

"Pardon?"

Kate shook her head, not about to repeat the words. "Only they never came."
 

"No. They never came, and Alex had to tell you they were dead. He knew you'd blame him for their accident, and you have. When you went into premature labour and Sarah nearly died, his burden of guilt became intolerable."

"Why did he never tell me?"

"Would you have believed him?"

"Probably not."

"After you left, Alex seldom left Sarah's side. I think it would have killed him if anything had happened to that child. He feels responsible for you deserting your daughter."

"He was." She buried her face on her upraised knees in confusion. Guilt and remorse, love and grief, hatred and anger made an awful mix of emotions.

Yesterday she'd considered her life under total control.

Today that pretence was shattered.

"Now, he's discovered you're the super-efficient realtor, Kate Audley," Gregori shook his head. "You've dealt Alex another body blow."

"I have?" She lifted her head and stared at him in disbelief.

"Yes you have." Gregori crossed his arms across his chest. "Hell. Have you looked in the mirror lately? You're thin to the point of emaciation. You've cut that glorious hair and dyed it black. Why?"

Kate swallowed. Her throat worked as she tried to ease a lump lodged there.

"Did you somehow learn Alex was about to cross your path? Haven't you punished him enough? How much do you think he can stand, he's only human?"

Kate leaped to her feet, unable to stand listening to any more.

In one smooth movement Gregori was on his feet, his hand around her wrist, preventing her flight.

"It's time you stopped and thought about it. If your appearance has nothing to do with Alex, who are you punishing? Alex? Sarah? Or yourself?"

"That's not your business." She yanked her wrist free, his harsh words puncturing every defence she'd built. "Don't load your guilt onto me."

"You're bloody impossible to reason with." Gregori strode over to his car and stood with his hand on the door looking at her across the top of the car. "You keep wallowing in self-pity. Why should we care anymore?"

Kate stood motionless long after he drove away, his accusation ringing in her ears.

You know he's right. It's time I stopped running.

Nothing could change the past. And her outburst of temper had done more to put her new life at risk than Alex's actions.
 

With quiet determination, she repaired the ravages of her tears before returning to the office. On a bracing indrawn breath, she approached reception. "Any messages, Coralie?"

"No." The receptionist lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Dave wants to see you as soon as you return. Boy is he livid. What sent you off your rocker? I can't understand you doing something so dreadful."

No Coralie, you would never understand—but Alex knew.

Too aware of the heat flooding her face and neck, Kate ignored Coralie and rapped on Dave's door, entering at his summons.

"Ms. Audley. Come in, shut the door and take a seat. I am so pleased you've condescended to return."

Kate winced. That she was reduced to Ms. Audley didn't bode at all well for her chances of remaining employed. It was a measure of Dave's anger. There had never been any formality in this office.
 

"I presume there is an explanation for that extraordinary display of temper you indulged in this morning?"

She winced, knowing she deserved every scathing word. "Alex wasn't amused?"

"Good lord. Did you expect him to be? That vase almost hit his daughter. What came over you? The man was only keeping an appointment."

"No, Dave." She lifted a hand then let it fall. "That appointment was Alex's last consideration when he came here this morning."

Dave watched her from beneath beetling brows, his light blue eyes shrewd, but hard. "You'd better explain. Throwing vases of flowers at influential clients isn't good for business."

Kate worried the strap of her bag, looked up at her boss, and met his eyes squarely. "Can I trust you?"

"I should damn well hope so." His grim smile was not amused.

"So do I." Kate hesitated and then confessed, "What you don't know, and Alex didn't tell you, is that I'm Sarah's mother."

Dave stared at her, stunned. He opened his mouth, but no words ensued. He shook his head, staring at her. For the first time since she'd known him, he was speechless.

Did he believe her?

"Sarah Korda is your daughter?"

"She is. Today is the first time I've seen her, since a few days after she was born."

Dave stood and came around his desk, pulled up another chair and sat beside her, catching her chilled hands in his. "Kate, I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"How could you know? It's along tangled tale." She gave a weary shrug. "If Nicolaides is to be believed my presence here was just as nasty a shock to Alex, as his was to me."

"You've seen Nicolaides?"

She nodded. "He fo1lowed me this morning, and we talked."

"And?"

For a moment Kate was tempted to pour out the whole story, but the reticence of years was a hard to overcome. "I despise Korda and want nothing more to do with him."

"But what about your child?" Dave, a staunch family man was obviously dismayed.

Kate dismissed the question with a shrug.

"No wonder Korda was insistent the matter be dropped."

"Naturally." Dave winced at her sarcasm. "Alex will never risk a confrontation with me. Can we forget the whole thing?"

"That could prove difficult." Dave leaned back in his chair. "Korda wants us both to meet him at The Birches after lunch."

Kate swallowed forcing down fear and trepidation.
Why am I not surprised?

"Just don't let on that you know about Sarah, Dave. I can cope with Korda."

"I hope so." He stood up and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "If things get too much you are due for some time off. Take a holiday."

Chapter Four

N
erves beset Kate as she walked beside Dave across the weed infested gravel of the forecourt of The Birches. The old house looked forlorn, the autumn sun highlighting the neglect of years. Today she didn't spare a glance at its mellow charm, too keyed up at the prospect of facing Alex.

She struggled to meet his gaze, heat flooded her cheeks as she crossed to where he waited.

"I'm sorry, Alex. I should never have thrown those flowers. I hope Sarah wasn't too upset."

"She got a fright." He looked past her to where Dave was watching them. "You have the keys?"

"Of course." Dave unlocked the front door and Alex followed him without sparing her another glance.

Kate walked behind desperately trying to ignore the hollow ache that opened up inside her.

At the doorway Alex stood back waiting for her to enter.

"It's always useful to have a woman's opinion of a house," he said as he followed them into the empty mansion.

As if there's nothing else between us.

"This is the main lounge." Kate was determined to remain professional. "The surveyor's report showed no sign of damp."

"How old is the report?" Alex walked around the walls examining them with experienced eyes.

"It was done last winter."

"We can get a copy to your motel, Mr. Korda," Dave put in smoothly.

"If I want to take it further I shall commission my own report."

Kate bit down hard on her lip. She would not let her temper get away from her.

"How would you visualize this room furnished, Ms. Audley?"

She took the question at face value. Why let him know he was upsetting her? "For entertaining?"

"That's why I want the house."

"You won't be living here?"

"Sorry to disappoint you, Ms. Audley. I want a home as well as a base for entertaining my New Zealand clients."

"Of course." All her good intentions fled in the face of his sarcasm. "You have homes for every purpose. Do you still use your home on Maude Island for your retreats from responsibility?"

The crack met with grim silence.

Alex took a step towards her every line of his body taut and dangerous, eyes blazing. "You have grown into a tough, hard woman."

"Surprise. Surprise. Have you conveniently forgotten I had an expert teacher? And I never was a slow learner."

Kate was only peripherally aware of Dave slipping out the door and move out of earshot of their blistering quarrel.

"A very swift learner."

Heat seared her entire body in a rush of incandescent rage. "You unutterable swine."

Her hand arced, hitting his face with a resounding crack.

Horrified, her heart somersaulted as a red mark spread across his lean cheek. Shame scorched her. For the second time today, she'd allowed him to goad her to violence.

"Don't do that again, Catriona," he said from between clenched teeth. "I may retaliate. Don't you ever feel guilty at abandoning a defenceless baby?"

The words rubbed raw an excoriating wound and she ignored his radiating menace. "I never abandoned Sarah. You paid me to leave."

He gripped her shoulders so hard she cried out.

"How dare you?" he asked through clenched teeth. "How dare you imply that I paid you money for Sarah?"

Kate faced him panting with outrage.
How dare he deny it?

"You had Nicolaides pay me off."

She was freed so abruptly she nearly fell. He brushed his palms against his trousers.
 

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He turned and walked to a dirty, fly stained window and stared out at the unkempt grounds.

"Let me refresh your memory. You never had the guts to pay me off yourself. But that's your style, isn't it. Get your faithful henchman to do the dirty work.