一地鸡毛 (3 page)

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Young Lin's wife is called Little Li. Before she got married she was a quiet girl with delicate features. Although short, she appeared tiny and exquisite, arousing tenderness and affection. She didn't talk much then and although she didn't dress fashionably she was very clean and had very long hair. She was introduced to Young Lin by a classmate and they fell in love. She was rather shy when she met people. One felt relaxed and peaceful in her presence. There was even an aura of poetry about her. It was then that Young Lin started to pay attention to the way he talked and his personal hygiene. It was quite beyond his imagination that several years later, this quiet girl with the poetic quality would become a nagging housewife who did not do her hair and had learnt how to steal drips of water at night. They were both university students devoted to their work. They had both exerted themselves, worked by lamplight, had noble ambitions then. They never thought about their bosses at work, nor about social institutions and organizations of whatever size. It was beyond their imagination that several years later, they would so quickly drown in stereotyped crowds just like everybody else. All you can do is to buy bean curd, go to work and back, eat, sleep, do the washing, see to the childminder and attend to your child. In the evening you don't want even to touch a book. All those grand plans and great aspirations! Those careers and ideals! What a load of rubbish! That's only for the young and naive to dream about. Isn't everybody else drifting along aimlessly too? And yet, they get through their days all the same? Even if you cherish great expectations and lofty ideals, so what? "Where are the historical figures with great accomplishments? In deserted graves hidden under the sand!" By the end of one's life, who will still be alive to know you and appraise you? So Young Lin is perfectly content sometimes. He'd suffered physically and mentally at work, but it had made him mature. Now he can handle different situations with ease. So long as you are patient enough to wait without behaving rashly or perversely, you'll sooner or later get what others have got. Take housing, for example. His family once shared a flat with others, then moved to the slum in Ox Street. Because the place was due to be demolished they moved again to temporary accommodation. Now they have got a one-room flat. At first the Lins did not have a refrigerator or a colour TV while other families did, which made him feel ashamed. They saved up and now they have also bought those things. They do not have wall units or a sound system, not yet. But is there an end to material desires? Be patient and you'll find yourself in a communist society. What makes you impatient are trifles like spoiled bean curd. In the past, a happy life with a good wife and children and a cosy home was considered a peasant ideal. But what else should you strive for if not for a happy family with a wife and children? And that's not easy to achieve either. Your wife has changed. Your child is still too young and you're always carrying the burden of work on your shoulders. Can you guarantee a cosy home for every single day? People often complain about their work being too complicated and difficult, as if a cosy home with a wife and child is any easier! Your great aspirations of the past can be excused on the grounds of immaturity, for you didn't understand the development of social patterns in today's world. A thousand-li journey starts with the first step. Young Lin, you should start your journey by seeing to the spoiled bean curd! As usual, he gets up at six the next morning and queues for bean curd in front of the state grocery. His wife has also woken up, staring at the ceiling with wide-open eyes. Going to sleep quickly restores her clear-thinking. Unlike Young Lin, whose head remains dull for half an hour after waking up, she needs only five minutes to be wide awake and to pick up her train of thought from before going to sleep. This is both good and bad. If they are at odds with each other, she will immediately carry on with the quarrel from the day before. He feels a little anxious when he sees his wife staring as she did before going to sleep last night. He can't think what his wife is brewing up. She doesn't speak to him when he gets up, which makes him feel better. He hurriedly brushes his teeth, washes his face and tries to steal quietly out of the room taking a plastic bag with him. Just as he puts out his hand to open the door, his wife says from the bed,

"Don't buy bean curd today!" So his wife won't let go. She wants to carry on with yesterday's bean curd incident. He feels a fury rising in his heart. The spoiled bean curd has been thrown away and a night has passed. Why go on quibbling about it? He protests:

"How can half a kilo of spoiled bean curd make you want never to buy any more again? I'll put it in the fridge today, won't that do? How many years do you need to keep on about it?"

With a shake of her hand, his wife says, "I'm not thinking about the spoiled bean curd. I've been thinking all night, I can't stay in my work unit any longer. I must change my job. Talk to me about it! You can't be so indifferent to my problems!"

So she is not referring to the spoiled bean curd. He feels relieved. But a job transfer is no less vexing and even more complicated than the bean curd incident. To be honest, her place of work is not so bad. As a university graduate, she sits in an office, sorting documents and writing reports. In her spare time she drinks tea and reads the newspaper. But she used to be so straightforward. Just like Young Lin when he was first assigned to his job, she wasn't experienced in handling the various relationships at work and the consequences lingered on. Although she realized her mistakes and corrected them later, the effects still revealed themselves from time to time and small clashes seemed inevitable. Unhappy at work, back home she would nag Young Lin about her transfer. He had tried to persuade her using himself as an example. He told her that once she overcame her weaknesses of being too naive and insensitive, she'd get used to working there; there was really no need to transfer because everywhere you worked was the same; and besides, it was not at all easy to achieve her wish. Who would employ you, he said, we are both powerless and don't have the necessary information or connections? But his wife said he was ineffective, unable to do anything to save his wife from the depths of despair. I couldn't help you outside, he argued, but have tried to from the inside. Can't explanation be counted as help? His wife was convinced. Having aired her grievances by nagging at him, she went on working at the same place without raising the idea of a transfer. If things had continued like this, she would have got used to it and the annoying problem of changing her job would have disappeared. But the Lins have moved several times, farther and farther away from her place of work. She was very pleased at each of the moves as their living conditions became better. At last, she said, we have our own place in Beijing too. She spent most of her spare time decorating it: she decided how to hang the curtains; how to arrange the furniture; where to put the fridge and the TV set; and what else they needed to buy. Most of her worries then were about things like that. When the room was nearly finished, she became dissatisfied once again. She was unhappy that they lived too far from her workplace. Her office didn't run a shuttle bus on this route, so she had to catch the crowded public buses to and from work. A round trip would take her three to four hours. She got up at six in the morning and came back at eight in the evening, accompanied by stars and the moon at both ends, day after day, and the buses were always jam-packed. She felt she couldn't stand it any longer and simply must get a transfer. Seeing his wife utterly exhausted after work each day, Young Lin also realized this was something different from just being unhappy at work. Such unhappiness could be endured and overcome but it was not possible to shorten the distance. She must be transferred to somewhere nearer home. But having made up their minds to do it, the couple found themselves facing insurmountable difficulties, for it was not up to them to decide whether to make the transfer or not.Like a blind cat groping for mice, they tried several places which, without exception, and with no room for discussion, refused to consider them. They were most disheartened. He said,

"Enough. No more running around. It's just wasted effort. Put up with it. Some other people in Beijing live even farther away from where they work! Don't just count the kilometres you travel, think of the women weavers! They stand working the whole day long while you work over tea and newspapers. Are you still dissatisfied?"

His wife flared up:

"You are incapable of solving the problem, so you just ask me to put up with it. Of course you can put up with riding in the shuttle bus every day. Can't you understand what it means spending four hours in a crowded bus every day? I must be transferred. Otherwise I won't go to work tomorrow. You go and earn enough money to support the family! "

Just as she threatened, she didn't go to work the next day. Young Lin was truly worried. The worries forced him to make good use of his brains and finally he came up with a solution. He discovered that the head of personnel at an office in Qiansanmen was a former classmate of Old Zhang, the deputy bureau director of Young Lin's office. Young Lin had once helped Old Zhang to move house, sparing no effort. So Old Zhang thought well of him. After being caught in flagrante delicto with Mrs Qiao, Old Zhang had tucked his tail between his legs, so to speak, and showed special concern for his subordinates and would spare no effort to help them whenever it was needed. So Young Lin felt Old Zhang would not refuse if he asked for help. If Old Zhang would provide a recommendation, the Qiansanmen office might be a solution. It was also a long way from the Lins' residence—a single trip by public bus took two hours. But there was an underground railway connecting the two places. Forty minutes on a fast underground train was sufficient. Besides, it is not as crowded as a public bus. Sometimes seats are available. He told his wife about his idea. She was pleased. She agreed and urged him to talk to Old Zhang. He went to Old Zhang, told him about his wife's difficulties and about the place in Qiansanmen. Knowing that his old leader had some good connections there, he said, he'd come to ask him for help. As expected, Old Zhang readily agreed:

"Very well, her office is very far away. She should transfer!" He added: "I don't know the Qiansanmen unit personally. But the comrade in charge of personnel affairs there is an old classmate of mine. I'll write to him. Go and see whether he can arrange the transfer. "

Plucking up his courage, Young Lin said,

"It might be better if you called him as well."

Stroking his big head, Old Zhang laughed and then rapped Young Lin on the head:

"The youth now are much shrewder than we were when young! All right. I'll make a phone call for you. "

Old Zhang made the call and wrote the letter. Lin was as overjoyed as if it were an imperial edict. So was his wife when she saw the letter. He took it to the head at the Qiansanmen unit and it really worked. Having gone through the letter the head said,

"Old Zhang is my old classmate. Both of us were very keen athletes in our university days. "

Leaning over the head's desk, Young Lin anxiously continued the theme:

"Old Zhang loves physical exercise even now. "

The head glanced at him and suddenly mentioned the recent incident concerning Old Zhang. He asked for details. Young Lin found himself in an awkward situation. It was not proper for him to say anything, nor was it proper not to. He just selected the main details and said that Old Zhang had just sat talking with Mrs Qiao in his office. It hadn't got further than that. Everything else was pure rumour. Laughing, the head remarked:

"Old Zhang, he's still a bit of a Romeo!"

Finally, the subject of the transfer came up. Put in an excellent mood, the head said:

"OK. OK. Old Zhang's affairs are as good as my own. Let me find out which office is short of staff. "

Wasn't that as good as a promise? Young Lin returned home and told his wife. She instantly embraced him and covered his face with kisses. They had an enjoyable evening. If they had simply waited, the transfer would have been assured. Young Lin's wife could go to work on the underground every day. But they overreached themselves and became victims of their own cleverness. While the head of personnel affairs was making efforts to help them, the couple continued to feel anxious. The wife discovered that the husband of an acquaintance also worked in the same unit and was an office head as well. She discussed this with Young Lin and suggested that they ask him for help, too. The efforts of one person in charge of personnel affairs might not be sufficient. Young Lin didn't think carefully about the suggestion. Yes, one more person meant more effort. He felt there was no harm in it at all. So they went ahead. Who would have thought the head of personnel affairs would stop making further efforts as soon as he learnt about this? The next time Young Lin went to see him, he said coldly,

"Haven't you also asked so-and-so? Let him try!"

Now Young Lin was really anxious. He realized that a fundamental strategic mistake had been made. Just the same as getting ahead in a work unit, you've got to rely on only one head when asking people for help. Only then will this person make a genuine effort to assist. No one will if you seek help from more than one, for it shows you have many connections and you are too clever. They might think: Why ask me for help since you've already asked somebody else? It could actually arouse the resentment of the people involved. Instead of assisting you, they might become more of a hindrance than a help. "Let's see whether you can succeed by relying on others rather than me!" When Young Lin and his wife realized the truth, it was already too late. At first they blamed each other. Then they both tried to work out a remedy. What could they do now? All Young Lin could do was to ask Old Zhang to call his old classmate again. But Old Zhang is not Young Lin's blood brother. It is not appropriate for him to keep on troubling the deputy head of the bureau. So, the transfer problem remains in the air. As time goes by, Young Lin lets the matter drop temporarily, busy as he is with other matters. But his wife doesn't. She sits there brooding over it alone. The day after the spoiled bean curd incident, she sat by the bed thinking without washing her feet. It was just this matter that she had been thinking about. Getting up early in the morning, she raises the issue again. At first Young Lin suspects his wife wants him to go and see Old Zhang. He doesn't feel like going again. So he says:

"We made a mess of things. What is the use of me going to Old Zhang all the time?"

His wife responds: "I'm not asking you to see Old Zhang this time but to go to the head of personnel affairs at Qiansanmen."

Young Lin is even less inclined to see the head than to see Old Zhang. He replies: