一地鸡毛 (7 page)

This makes him lose heart. He cannot even cope with his own problems, so how can he help with getting capital construction quotas? Crestfallen, he returns to report to his wife and unexpectedly finds a great disturbance at home. Trouble of another kind has broken out. The childminder has learned about their efforts to find a nursery for their child, which means she will lose her job. She blames them for not letting her know in advance. So to gain the upper hand, she decides to leave immediately. Young Lin's wife thinks she is unreasonable. "The chile is mine. Why do I have to tell you whether she is going to nursery or not? Are you not being vengeful by leaving before we find a place?" The two of them start a quarrel, and Young Lin's wife demands the childminder's immediate departure. Not prepared to humble herself either, the childminder starts packing at once. When he gets home, she is about to leave. As his efforts to find a good nursery have not gone smoothly, they can't cope if the childminder leaves right now. He tries to persuade her to stay. His wife stops him:

"Let her go! I'll see whether the sky will fall down just because she goes away!"

He has no choice, but his daughter loves her childminder and when she sees her leaving, the girl rolls on the floor crying. The childminder also loves her charge so she hurries over to give her a cuddle before she leaves. Once she is gone, his wife begins to cry. She feels conscience-stricken as the childminder has taken care of the child for over two years. She asks him to hurry to the balcony and throw down another month's salary for her.

The childminder's absence throws the Lins' home into confusion. No nursery has been found and the couple now have to ask for leave and look after their daughter in turn. Young Lin's wife blames the childminder for having caused so much trouble and her husband for being incapable of finding a nursery. He argues:

"They want a capital construction quota in exchange. The head of my office might not be able to get it, let alone me."

He adds: "I don't think we should make matters worse. I admit I'm incapable. If our daughter can't go to that nursery, we will have to let her go to the one where the bicycle repairman's daughter works. After all, lots of children are there."

Faced with the situation, his wife starts to relent a little. They cannot go on asking for leave for long. The next day, the husband and wife visit the nursery where the bicycle repairman's daughter works. Their first impression is not bad, although it can not compare with the one run by the unit, but it is clean. Dozens of children play in the rooms and there is a piano in it. It is far away from busy roads as well. Seeing his wife is silent afterwards, Young Lin knows she has basically agreed and he feels relieved.

Once home they put together the equipment the child needs to take to her nursery—clothing, pillows, bowls, spoon, cup, handkerchiefs—as if they are sending their daughter on an expedition. His wife sheds tears again:

"Your parents are incapable, so you have to go to the neighbourhood nursery. From now on, you will have to take care of yourself the best you can!"

The child is then given a medical check-up and is ready to go the next day when there comes a surprise turn of events—their daughter can go to the unit's nursery! Of course it is not due to the efforts of Young Lin. It is the "Indian" woman's husband who unexpectedly helps them. There is a knock at the door in the evening, and he is standing there. They do not know what work he is actually doing. All they know is that he dresses up in a smart suit with a tie every day and rides a motorbike to work. The "Indian" family is comfortably-off, and their flat is well furnished, whereas the Lins are quite hard-up in comparison and their flat is dingy, so they are diffident and have little contact. Only Young Lin's wife and the "Indian" woman are coldly polite to each other. The sudden visit of the husband arouses the Lins' suspicion. What has he come for? The visitor, however, is quite affable and says: "I hear you are having difficulties in finding a place for your child. Is that so?"

Young Lin feels his face go red. This man has made him feel inadequate. So he hums and haws. The man continues:

"I have a spare placement which you can use to get your child into the unit's nursery. I obtained two originally: one for my child and the other for my elder sister's. But she has decided not to use it. If you don't mind, I can let you have this placement. We are neighbours after all!"

Young Lin and his wife feel pleasantly surprised. There seems to be no malice in the expression of the 'Indian' woman's husband. So Young Lin's wife exclaims excitedly:

"That is wonderful! Thank you so much. We've tried hard to get our daughter into that nursery but failed. We are about to get her into the neighbourhood nursery."

Young Lin feels ashamed: he wasn't able to do it, but another man could. Surely he will be looked down on for this. So he does not appear as pleased as his wife. The "Indian" woman's husband is aware of his feelings and adds considerately:

"I could not find a way to solve the problem at first. It so happens that the father of one of my colleagues is the head of that unit. I asked for a favour through him and was given these placements. That's the way things are done these days!"

Young Lin feels better. The "Indian" woman is a trouble-maker but her husband seems a gentleman. He offers a cigarette to his guest. The cigarettes are not a good brand, and also a bit old and dry. But the guest appears unconcerned and smokes it with aplomb.

Their daughter can now go to the nursery they wanted.

Their minds are at rest. The relations between the Lins and the "Indian" woman's family become much more friendly and the two children go to the nursery together. But several days later, Young Lin's wife looks gloomy again. When asked what is the matter she answers:

"We've been taken in! We shouldn't have let our child go to that nursery!"

"How? And why not?" he asks.

His wife replies: "It seems on the surface, the 'Indian' family helped us out; but I have noticed something not quite right. They are helping themselves rather than us. Their child found it hard to go to the nursery, wailing and whining. So they helped us so that our daughter should keep theirs company. The two used to play together so they certainly find going to the nursery easy if they can go together now. I've also found out that there isn't an elder sister! We are so incapable that even our child is taken advantage of. I benefit from the shuttle bus because of that sister-in-law. Who would have thought our child gets a place in the nursery because she is needed to accompany another child!"

After this, she starts sobbing. A chill goes down Young Lin's back. Damn it! The "Indian" family are scoundrels after all. But it isn't something that can be said openly. He feels slightly dirty like a piece of garbage, yet even after consoling his wife, he knows his child will still go to the nursery tomorrow with the other child. But after all, he admits to himself, it is better to stay as a companion in a good nursery than to play about in a poor one. It is the same with the shuttle bus: better to enjoy it even knowing that the benefit is brought by the sister-in-law than to catch an over-crowded public bus. In the evening, after his wife and child have gone to sleep, he sheds tears of remorse for the first time. In the dark, he even slaps himself in the face:

"Why are you a good-for-nothing? Can't you be more capable?"

But his slap is not very hard, in case his wife wakes up.

6

There is a bumper harvest in Chinese cabbages this year.

Standing in a long line of locals, his breath is white as it hits the cold air. Young Lin is waiting to buy cabbages to store for the winter. Everyone is holding a card. Some people are wearing cotton-padded hats. During the wait, people begin talking to each other. A middle-aged man in front of Lin offers him a cigarette. Whenever it is time to store up cabbages for winter, he always feels tense. He sees others take cabbages on bicycles, tricycles or in big baskets, dropping loose leaves behind them. He feels worried: the cabbages will be gone before he gets any and his family will go without in winter. When squeezing into the crowd, he feels that he has been cheated year after year. With dozens of cheap cabbages, you have to waste time arranging them, airing them, turning them around, bringing them in and stacking them up. When aired, several layers of leaves come off and the Lins begrudge eating them so early in the season. Instead they buy more for instant consumption; when the Lins are willing to eat the stored cabbages, they've become dry and withered, like small sticks. Peeling the dry leaves off, all that is left are tiny cabbage hearts. Sometimes they get frostbitten and smell sour when cooked. Every spring, looking at the leftovers, Young Lin and his wife vow not to store any more cabbages next autumn. But when they see others buying up loads of government subsidized cabbages, they feel that they will lose out. Young Lin thinks the worry of it all isn't worth the years of psychological stress over cheap cabbages. So this autumn, he has made up his mind not to store any more. His wife feels the same, pointing out that it isn't such a bargain when you take into account the lost and dried layers of leaves. For three days they resist the temptation but on the fourth, he puts on his padded hat and joins the queue to buy cheap cabbages again. Not because he is weak-willed but because there is a glut of cabbages in Beijing this year, employees have been called upon to buy "Patriotic cabbages" and their work units will reimburse them. So they will buy as much as they can be reimbursed for. If not, they will miss the free offer. The limit is 150 kilos in Young Lin's unit and 100 kilos in his wife's. Therefore the couple decide to buy 250 kilos, which is even more than the amount they used to get in the past years. Young Lin has borrowed a tricycle cart from Old He, the deputy office head. He says:

"I decided not to store up any cabbages this year but who would have thought the unit will reimburse us? Thus we are forced into a quandary again!"

He is buying cabbages because they will be free rather than because he wants them, so while standing in line, Young Lin feels resentful. He heaves a sigh, kicks a cabbage and passively watches the trade going on in front. But soon he is no longer passive. The cabbages are free, people are afraid the stocks will run out before their turn comes. He can't help becoming keyed up. He rolls up the padded flaps of his hat to expose his ears.

The 250 kilos of cabbages is carried home and soon the house is filled with the smell. He is in a bad mood but his wife is happy because they are free. Young Lin imagines the end result: it will eventually go down to seventy to eighty small sticks. The thought of the high stack of cabbages throughout the winter makes him lose his appetite. But his wife is cheerful so he becomes cheerful, too. And there is a relaxed atmosphere in the home.

The next day, six people from Young Lin's hometown visit them. He feels nervous and his wife's face changes colour, too. But the six guests do not stay for a meal. They are going to the Northeast on a business trip, they say, and they will only stay for a little while. He is relieved and his wife's face regains her normal colour. She gives them a very warm send-off, which satisfies everyone.

This day, Young Lin knocks off early and goes to a food market. He buys first a pile of capsicums and then exchanges some grain coupons for some eggs. Now they no longer have to feed the childminder they can spare some of the coupons to exchange for eggs. He is about to leave for home when he sees a food cart selling Anhui pressed salted ducks. There is a big queue. He goes to have a look and discovers the ducks are too expensive at over four yuan half a kilo but the gizzards and liver are cheap at three yuan half a kilo. His daughter is fond of those so he decides to buy. There are two people selling. One man with an Anhui accent is chopping up the ducks and the other who looks like the boss is collecting the money. When Young Lin is handing over his money to the boss, their eyes meet and they cry out:

"Young Lin!"

"Young Li Bai!"

One drops the duck gizzards while the other drops the money. They hug each other laughing.

They are former classmates. They were good friends at university. Both liked composing poems so they joined the university's literary society. At that time they were full of ambition and creative drive. "Young Li Bai" was conscientious and talented. On average he wrote three poems a day and some were published in newspapers and magazines. He had a free and easy style.
That was why he was nicknamed "Young Li Bai."
[1]
Many girl students ran after him but on graduation, they dispersed like mist and smoke, and like Young Lin, he was assigned to a government office. Later, bored with office work, he resigned and went to work in a company. How comes that he is selling ducks now? Seeing Young Lin, he stops selling to have a chat with him, leaving his business to the man from Anhui who is chopping up the ducks. They light up cigarettes. Young Lin asks:

"Weren't you working in a company? How come you are now selling ducks?"

Smiling, Young Li Bai answers: "Damn! The company went bankrupt. I became self-employed and started selling ducks. It's not bad doing this, similar to running a private company. You earn almost one hundred yuan a day!"

Young Lin is taken aback. "Are you still writing poems?"

Young Li Bai spits on the ground: "Rubbish! Those I wrote in college were naive. What is poetry? It is coquettish nonsense!If I kept on writing them, I would certainly go hungry! Are you married?"

Young Lin replies: "My child is already three!"

Clapping his hands, Young Li Bai exclaims:

"See? You should not have asked about my poems! I have seen through the way the world works. It's more comfortable to drift along with the crowds without wild fantasies, or the desire to stand out among your fellows, not to think too much about anything. What do you say?"

Young Lin feels the same, so he nods his head. He asks: