Authors: Lauren Myracle
Mon, Oct 21
, 6:55
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zoegirl: | so. Doug's Facebook status. did you see? |
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SnowAngel: | I did. *winces* |
SnowAngel: | is that Canyon in the picture? |
zoegirl: | the girl he's got his arm around? that would be Canyon, yes. |
zoegirl: | it made my heart literally stop when I first saw it, but then I shut my laptop, put on my running shoes, and went for a run. three miles today, baby! |
SnowAngel: | yr awesome. |
SnowAngel: | but you know, that picture doesn't necessarily mean anything. well, it means Doug and Canyon are friends, but it doesn't mean they're lovers. |
zoegirl: | no, they're together, because Doug told me. he sent me a message saying he wanted me to hear it from him first, but he sent the message AFTER posting the pic. I know because of the time stamp. |
zoegirl: | but who cares, right? |
SnowAngel: | not you! hell no! |
zoegirl: | except I do, obviously |
SnowAngel: | I know. I wld too. anyone wld. |
SnowAngel: | oooâyou should send him back a message that says, “oh, no big, I'm a kissing fool these days anyway.” |
zoegirl: | yeahhhhh. no. |
zoegirl: | but at dinner I told Gannon and Holly about Doug, and that led to them talking about their high school girlfriends/boyfriends, and that led to a whole conversation about sex and relationships and why we're attracted to certain people and not others. |
zoegirl: | for example, Gannon ONLY likes big girls, or so he claims. |
SnowAngel: | big as in chubby? big as in fat? |
zoegirl: | big as in big. I didn't press him for specifics. |
SnowAngel: | but he kissed you and you are NOT big. |
zoegirl: | yes, but our kissing wasn't real, as I have told you many times. or, real but not romantic in any way. |
SnowAngel: | I think it's good that Gannon likes big girls. we're brought up to believe that a girl CAN'T BE FAT OR SHE WILL DIE, but that's not true, so good for Gannon. |
zoegirl: | I agree |
SnowAngel: | what about Holly? what's her type? |
zoegirl: | guys over girls, but I've already told you that. slender, muscular, and preferably taller than she is. a soccer player's build, basically. |
zoegirl: | oh, and smart. not being smart is a deal breaker. |
zoegirl: | Holly's roommate, on the other hand, only dates black guys. |
SnowAngel: | why only black guys? is she black? (and am I being racist by asking? I honestly don't know. I think things ARE different at UGA than at Kenyon!) |
zoegirl: | she's white. her name's Jessica, and according to Holly, she's sworn off dating any white guys because the chemistry is never there. |
SnowAngel: | but it's there with black guys? |
zoegirl: | apparently |
SnowAngel: | huh |
SnowAngel: | what did you tell them your type was? |
zoegirl: | I told them I didn't know, which is true. |
zoegirl: | I thought my type was Doug, but Doug isn't a type. he's just . . . Doug. |
SnowAngel: | well, maybe you don't have to have a “type.” there are lots of |
zoegirl: | I agree. I asked Holly if she would consider dating |
SnowAngel: | hmm. it all comes down to the mysterious spark, doesn't it? |
Tues, Oct 22
, 12:00
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SnowAngel: | o.m.g. |
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SnowAngel: | I have two HUGELY shocking things to tell y'all. which do you want to hear first? |
mad maddie: | is that a rhetorical question? |
SnowAngel: | is what a rhetorical question? |
SnowAngel: | no, nvm. I don't even know what a rhetorical question is. I never have, and when ppl use that phrase, I just nod and look wise. |
mad maddie: | in that case, I choose Thing One. Zo? |
zoegirl: | |
zoegirl: | but I'm supposed to be doing a makeup lab, so if I suddenly disappear, that's why. |
SnowAngel: | Thing One it is. I made the foolish decision to step on a scale in the Zeta house . . . |
mad maddie: | scales r for wimps |
SnowAngel: | AND I HAVE GAINED THE FRESHMAN FIFTEEN. AAAAGHHHHH. |
SnowAngel: | I shld have known, cuz all my jeans have gotten tight, but I thought, ya know . . . well, I don't know what I thought. |
mad maddie: | does that mean u have a muffin top? muffin tops are smexy. |
SnowAngel: | heyyyyy! you told me to never use that word! |
mad maddie: | muffin? oh, sorry. |
SnowAngel: | *gives Maddie evil eye* |
zoegirl: | I am sure you look fabulous and lush and curvy, |
SnowAngel: | which is NOT awesome, cuz Gannon is in Ohio and I am in Athens, and are you saying I'm now a “big girl”??! |
zoegirl: | I've actually lost weight since starting college, probably because of running. |
zoegirl: | I'm down to 109 lbs. I haven't weighed 109 lbs since sophomore year of high school. |
SnowAngel: | *glowers* |
SnowAngel: | thx. so helpful. |
zoegirl: | it means I can't donate blood anymore, because you have to be 110 lbs or more to donate blood. |
mad maddie: | well that must cramp your style. |
mad maddie: | does somebody want your blood? is this actually a problem? |
zoegirl: | IF the opportunity came up, that's all I'm saying. |
mad maddie: | 109 lbs is measly, and Angela, I've ballooned up to 200 pounds, so don't even worry. |
SnowAngel: | you do not weigh 200 lbs, you big liar. |
mad maddie: | big is right. *pats tummy* I'm proud of my tub! |
SnowAngel: | I am NOT proud of my tub, and I want it to go away, but the thought of making it go away is horribly depressing. I DO NOT DO WELL WITH SELF-DEPRIVATION! |
mad maddie: | which is why *I* say . . . if ya want it, eat it. or wear it as a hat. |
zoegirl: | Maddie, you are so random. |
zoegirl: | Angela. if you gained any weight, it's because you've been on crutches, you goof. now that you're not, you'll go back to being more active and everything will even out. don't worry. |
SnowAngel: | will it, tho? will it? |
SnowAngel: | cuz I've also been drinking a ton more than I ever |
mad maddie: | so stop drinking beer |
SnowAngel: | but then I will be BORING ANGELA, and the mean girl in my sorority will yell at me for being lame! |
mad maddie: | and I quote from the Bible: thou shalt not let a sorority girl named Candy dictate anything about your personal lifestyle, or thou shalt turn into a pillar of salt. |
SnowAngel: | TANDY. not candy. |
mad maddie: | mmm . . . candy . . . |
SnowAngel: | all right, we are moving on to Thing Two, cuz y'all are SO not helping. |
mad maddie: | whatever. we love u the way you are. right, Zo? |
zoegirl: | yes . . . shhh . . . I have to text quietly because TA is here. I am supposed to be doing important science things! |
mad maddie: | *exaggerated whisper* |
mad maddie: | OK, WE WON'T TELL IF U DON'T |
SnowAngel: | Thing Two is that a senior Zeta just sent out an email blast saying that she's fricking getting married. |
SnowAngel: | MARRIED! SHE IS 21! |
mad maddie: | whoa. is that what sorority girls do, get married their senior year? isn't it called the “M.R.S.” degree or something? |
SnowAngel: | I am NOT getting married my senior year, I promise you that. |
mad maddie: | if you do, can I be a bridesmaid? will you be embarrassed to have a 200 lb bridesmaid in your entourage? |
SnowAngel: | |
SnowAngel: | my inner critic is very loud today, so I wld appreciate a little kindness. |
mad maddie: | hey, I'm making fun of ME, not you. I've seen the |
mad maddie: | Zo??? |
SnowAngel: | see? she doesn't agree! |
mad maddie: | no, she's just off doing Important Science Things. |
mad maddie: | believe what you want, Angela, but you are one sexy tamale. |