You Are My Air: Breathless Book 1 (11 page)

"This turns you on, doesn't it, Natalie?" I whispered seductively, my lips brushing against her earlobe. "You love that I'm taking it, taking
you
. Don't you?" I gave her throat another quick squeeze and started rubbing her clit roughly with two fingers. Her body bucked against mine as a keening wail came out of her mouth. She was so close to falling apart, and I let her. "Come, sweetheart. Come for me." I suddenly shoved my fingers deep inside her and felt her explode in my arms, her insides rippling around my fingers. She screamed as she shattered apart, her head arching back. I sank my teeth into the skin where her neck met her shoulder, clamping down hard as she wailed on and on.

I pulled my fingers from her warm tight channel and grabbed my cock, rubbing it through her wet folds. Then just as she started to come down from her release, I shoved myself up into her, making her scream again. I grabbed her hip and began thrusting into her again and again. I lifted my hand and forced my fingers into her mouth, making her taste herself on me. She moaned and sucked on them, then clamped her teeth on me as she shattered again. I hadn't told her she could, but I didn't care at this point anymore. I was too far gone, losing myself to this incredible gorgeous creature that fit me like a glove.

The walls inside her clamped down on me like a vise. It almost felt like she was sucking on my cock, trying to milk me inside her. I couldn't hold it back anymore, couldn't stop the explosion as my orgasm crashed over me like a tidal wave, sucking me under and blowing me apart. I shouted her name, the pain as her teeth sank into my fingers a distant flicker that barely registered in my mind.

When it was over, I was left holding us both up with one hand on the bed, the other still on her throat. I removed my fingers from around her neck and wrapped my arm around her waist, her hands slipping from my forearm to help hold us both up. I eased her down onto the bed, my softening cock slipping out of her. I disposed of the condom then laid next to her and pulled her back against my chest. I wrapped her up in my arms, knowing that I had made another horrible mistake, but unable to muster the willpower to care or even consider never seeing this perfect angel again. I was so relieved not to feel unbearable loneliness that I couldn't even manage to feel regret as I fell asleep.

**********

I woke up at 5 A.M. in a tangle of limbs with Natalie. Her head was on my shoulder, and one arm was draped across my chest. One of her perfect long legs was thrown over mine. I stared down and admired her toned leg muscles, remembering how they felt wrapped around my waist when I carried her in here last night. I knew I had to get up, so I could leave and make it to work on time, but I couldn't bring myself to move or wake Natalie. I brushed my lips across her forehead, breathing in the scent of her and sex. I felt my cock stir again. Damn, if I didn't get up now, I wouldn't make it to work at all.

"Sweetheart," I whispered as I put my hand on her shoulder. I squeezed my eyes closed for a moment and sighed as I realized I had called her sweetheart yet again. "Natalie," I said a little louder.

"Hmm?" She stirred, her arm tightening around my chest and her leg sliding up mine, making my cock twitch.

"I need to go," I told her. "I have to get to work."

"Okay," she mumbled as she raised her head and looked blearily at me. My God, she looked even more gorgeous with her mussed up hair and sleepy eyes. Her mouth widened into a smile that I couldn't help returning as pleasure filled me up. I was in so much trouble here.

"You were amazing last night," I confessed, the words tumbling out of me against my will. I could feel myself smiling like an idiot.

"So were you." She smiled back at me, a corner of her mouth curling up wickedly.

"I want to do this again," I blurted out. What the hell was I doing? And why didn't I care?

"I'd like that a lot."

"How about Friday?" I asked her, feeling annoyed with my trepidation that she might say no.

"It's a date," she answered with a nod, her smile widening. The word 'date' sent a ripple of fear through me. I didn't do dates. I didn't do relationships, but I didn't know what I was doing as I dug myself deeper and deeper into this hole, this glorious beautiful green-eyed black hole that was sucking me in against my will.

"Seven o'clock again?" I asked as I buried myself alive.

"I can't wait," she said in her sexy sleep roughened voice. It almost gave me the shivers. She rolled away so I could get up. I sat up then leaned down, cradled her cheek in one hand, and pressed a soft kiss to her beautiful full lips. I lingered longer than I should. I sat up and brushed my thumb across her lips with a low hum under my breath. She gave me another sleepy smile as she rolled onto her side, watching me stand and start gathering my clothes up off the floor.

"You should walk around naked all the time." She propped her head up with her hand, her heated eyes riveted on my groin as I pull my boxer briefs on.

"I'm pretty sure there are laws against that," I said with a laugh.

"What a pity," she said with a pout. "I might have to write a letter to my congressman."

"If you do, make sure you tell them I want you to be naked all the time too," I added wryly as I pulled my jeans on.

"Well, I wouldn't want you to have to wander around naked all by yourself."

"Sweetheart," I said in sensual tone as I eyed her, "if we were both naked all the time, we wouldn't be
wandering
anywhere. We'd stay right here."

"That sounds horrible," she blurted out sarcastically, earning herself an eye roll from me.

I pulled my sweater down over my head and caught the disappointment in her eyes as I covered myself up. I grabbed my socks and my brown oxfords up off the floor then sat on the edge of the bed to put them on.

"Will you call me?" she tried to ask nonchalantly, but an undercurrent of uncertainty colored her words.

"Of course, I will," I reassured her as I looked back at her, seeing relief fill her eyes. "I promise," I added, wondering why the I hell I had felt the need to promise her that.
Because you're an honest man, and if you promise you'll call her, then you will.
It was almost as if my subconscious was trying to trap me, and I wasn't going to argue with it this time.

She climbed out of bed as I stood, grabbed a robe off a hook on her closet door, and wrapped herself up in the red silky fabric. I noticed her long legs peeking out with each step as she crossed the room to the door. She opened it and I followed her, mesmerized by her swaying hips as she walked in front of me. When she stopped by the door, I pulled her into my arms and ran my hand through her long soft hair. Damn, I had it bad. She bit her lower lip, taunting me as she met my eyes. I growled and took her lower lip into my mouth, sucking and biting it until her body melted into mine. I entertained the notion of shoving her robe down off her shoulders and ravaging her up against the door. With a deep heartfelt groan of disappointment, I ripped my mouth away from hers, noting the color in her cheeks and her quickened breaths.

"I'll see you on Friday," I told her as I took a step back so she could open the door.

"Good-bye, David." She smiled as I walked out into the hall.

"Good-bye, Natalie." Our gazes locked and stayed that way until she finally closed the door. I took several deep breaths before I moved down the hall to the elevator. I hit the down button and stepped in when the doors opened immediately, then hit the garage level button. I stood there, my mind finally catching up with reality. I ran my hands over my face with exasperated anger at myself.

"What are you doing, David?" I asked myself aloud in the empty elevator. "What the
fuck
are you doing?"

**********

Wednesday came, and I still hadn't called Natalie. Once I was away from her; I could think again. I could convince myself that I hadn't really felt the things that I had felt for her. Deep down, I knew it was an utter lie, but it made it easier to avoid facing the truth, and as soon as I talked to her again, I knew all my feelings for her would come rushing back whether I like it or not.
I'm such a hypocrite.

I pulled my A6 to a stop in Sydney and Jensen's driveway just after six thirty. Maybe
I
needed a therapist. I got out of my car and was grateful to see that Sydney's brand new blue Chevy Malibu wasn't here. It wasn't that I didn't want to see her. It was just that she'd be able to tell that something was bothering me, and I didn't want to talk about this with her. She'd never understood my drastic reaction to my breakup with Paige. Of course, if she knew the whole horrid story maybe she would have gotten why I left the country for almost a year and stopped dating. Even so, I wasn't ever going to tell her or anyone else all of it.

Jensen, on the other hand, seemed to get it. He'd been ripped apart by a woman himself and knew what that could do to someone. Mind you, he hadn't fled a continent after his breakup, but he understood why I did and why I didn't want to risk my heart again. Plus, he didn't harass me about my promiscuity like his wife did.

I rang the doorbell, and Jensen opened the door to let me in a few moments later.

"Hey, brother," he greeted me with a smile. "Come on in."

"Where's Sydney?" I asked as I followed him up the stairs to the main floor of his condo.

"She's doing the final dress fitting for Andy and Lydia's wedding tonight."

"I can't believe it's less than three weeks away already," I said as I followed him into the kitchen. "Is Andy freaking out yet?"

"He's been a little more high strung than usual." He smirked. "The other night I threatened to use an animal tranquilizer on him if he didn't stop pacing the whole time I was at his house."

"If you need something to knock him out, let me know." I smiled at him facetiously. "I have access to some great medication for that."

"I'll keep that in mind," he said with amusement as he opened the fridge, grabbing a beer for me, and a soda for himself.

"It smells great in here." I took the beer from his outstretched hand. "Please tell me you didn't cook it." That comment earned me a scowl that made me grin.

"Why does everybody think I can't cook?" he growled out with irritation.

"Well," I answered, "I've never actually seen you cook before."

"You've seen me use the grill."

"I think you have to use the stove for it to count as cooking," I said with a raised brow.

"That's just a fucking technicality." He gave me a glare.

"I apologize then," I continued with another smile. "I can't wait to eat what you cooked tonight."

His expression turned sheepish as he looked away and took a long swallow of his drink. Then he met my eyes with a gleam of amusement in his. "I didn't cook it. Sydney put it in the oven before she left."

"Oh, thank God," I blurted out in mock relief.

"Shut the fuck up and sit down," he growled out as he pointed at the kitchen table.

"That's why I come here," I said sarcastically as I sat down. "For the hospitality."

The oven timer went off just then, and Jensen let my sarcastic comment go as he pulled two folded foil packets out of the oven. He opened each of them and transferred the food onto plates and set them on the table. It looked as amazing as it smelled. It was chicken with potatoes, onions, bell peppers, garlic, and mushrooms. It tasted wonderful too as we ate in silence for a few minutes.

"How are you feeling about Saturday night?" I asked him.

"It was a lot easier than I thought it would be," he told me. "Once I started playing it felt natural, and it made me feel close to Jordan. I know it sounds crazy, but I swear it almost felt like he was there with me."

"You sounded great and you looked like you belonged there."

"Thanks." He smiled gratefully. "I feel like I'm slowly piecing myself back together, and it feels good."

We ate in silence for a while longer before he spoke again.

"Sydney is worried about you," he announced out of nowhere. I let out a sigh. I was surprised that he had waited this long to bring it up, considering the tension between Sydney and me when I left the bar Saturday night. "She doesn't think you're happy." His eyes were filled with concern. "I
know
you're not. Do you even remember the last time you were?"

I stared down at my plate. It was the truth. I hadn't been happy in a very long time and faking it didn't count. However, I did remember the last time I
was
happy. It was Sunday night with Natalie. Once again, memories of her green eyes and her mouth and her warm body filled my mind. I felt a longing inside me that I hadn't felt in a long time, and I had been trying to deny it since that night.

"You know that girl that fell during the race on Saturday?" I asked as I looked up to meet his gaze.

"Yeah," he said with a perplexed expression as he tried to figure out where I was going with this.

"I saw her at work on Sunday," I said reluctantly. "She came up to me during lunch and I...I sort of took her out that night."

"You what?" Jensen blurted out as his brows shot up in surprise.

"I slept with her," I said quietly, feeling like I was sitting in a confessional.

"Alright," he said, sounding confused. "So you fucked her. You fuck a lot of women. What does that have to do with you being happy or not?"

I stared back at him with a neutral expression, unable to bring myself to spell it out for him. I watched his eyes widen in comprehension.

"Holy fuck!" he sputtered out as he lowered his fork. "You like her don't you?" A slow smile spread across his face.

"I...I felt
something
for her."

"Are you going to see her again?" he asked, looking way too invested in this as he continued to smile at me.

"I don't know."

"Why not?"

"You know why, Jensen," I told him in exasperation.

"I see," he said flatly as anger started to fill his eyes.

"See what?" I asked irritably.

"You won't buy the shit you've been selling."