You Are My Air: Breathless Book 1 (12 page)

"What are you talking about?" I asked as I leaned back in my chair and met his angry stare with one of my own.

"I'm talking about all that shit that you told Sydney about fate and things being meant to be for her and me."

"It wasn't shit," I tried to explain. "I meant everything I said to her. This situation isn't the same."

"Isn't it?" he asked.

"No, it isn't," I insisted.

"So you're telling me that shit can only apply to everyone but you."

"Yes."

"Bullshit," he said, sounding eerily like his wife. We glared at each other across the table. "You're getting in your own way, and you know it. I don't know all the details about your breakup, but no matter how fucked up it was; it can't be worth being alone for the rest of your life. Can it?"

"You don't understand," I told him with a deep sigh. "She broke me, and it can't be fixed."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he said as he shook his head in utter disbelief. "You're telling
me
that you're broken and can't be fixed?" He let out a bitter laugh. "I don't even know how to fucking respond to that."

"I'm sorry," I said as my shoulders slumped down and instant regret came over me. "I didn't mean to belittle everything you've been through. I know I'm a hypocrite. I know how I've been living is keeping me from being happy, but I can't take the risk."

"Then why did you even go out with her?" he asked, the anger slipping away into concern.

"I'm...I'm tired of being alone," I confessed, the unbidden words pouring out of me.

"That's what I thought." He nodded.

"When did you become
my
therapist?" I asked with a wan smile.

"I'm not even close," he answered with a laugh. "I'm just a friend who thinks you need to take your own advice and stop avoiding things that cause you pain. You might find something fucking amazing if you do."

Then, because that's the kind of great friend Jensen was, he changed the subject and didn't bring it up again the rest of the evening. However, the things he said resonated with me. If someone as broken and hurting inside as he had been, could get better, why couldn't I? Why
wasn't
I buying my own "shit" as he so inelegantly put it? Perhaps seeing Natalie again would help me figure this all out. Maybe taking this one chance could help me stop this self-destructive behavior that I was trapped in. Maybe this
was
my chance to find something amazing.

**********

"Hi, David," Natalie said as she answered my call. I was right. As soon as I heard her voice I wanted her all over again. "I'm glad you called." Her voice was a perfect alto, low and seductive. It gave me the shivers, and I was glad she couldn't see me right now. I wasn't ready for her to know just how deeply she affected me yet.

"Hi, Natalie," I replied, hoping my voice didn't waver. "I'm sorry I waited so long to call you, and I hope I'm not calling you too late tonight." I didn't get home from Jensen's condo until almost nine. Then I sat on the edge of my bed staring at her contact information in my phone for nearly a half hour, before I worked up the nerve to call her.

"That's okay," she reassured me. "It's not that late, and I figured you were waiting so you wouldn't seem too desperate." Her voice was laced with that sexy biting humor of hers that I was starting to adore. It made me laugh, and it felt good.

"How has your week been so far?" I asked, not really sure what to talk about now that I didn't want to focus on just the physical stuff anymore.

"Hectic," she said with a weary sigh. "I'm working on a pretty involved project with a deadline that's approaching faster than I'd like."

"What do you do?" I asked, realizing that I didn't even know what she did for a living.

"I'm a graphic designer," she told me. "I work at a graphic-design firm called Oberlin-Bosch. We design layouts for ads, logos, websites, and all kinds of other stuff."

"That sounds like fun."

"It is. I've always been into art and creating things. I'm also into computers, and the two things kind of go hand in hand in this field."

"What made you want to do that for living?"

"Truthfully," she said with a self-deprecating laugh, "I took one of those career aptitude tests in high school when I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, and graphic design was one of the things it suggested. I enrolled in the program at the art college, got a bachelor's degree, and the rest is history."

"Good thing you ended up liking it."

"Actually, I love it," she confessed. "I get to do something artistic, and my parents think I have a respectable job. It's a win, win."

"A respectable job?" I asked curiously. "What constitutes a job that's not respectable to them?"

"Well," she sighed, "my brother is a tattoo artist, and our father totally disapproves, so I guess that's one."

"What does your father do?"

"He's a lawyer," she answered matter-of-factly. "I think he wanted his son to follow in his footsteps, but Ford is stubborn and has a mind of his own. Which makes him exactly like Dad," she added wryly, and I laughed. "What about you? How did you grow up to be a psych nurse?"

"I guess it started when my mom bought me one of those operation board games, and came to a head when I took an anatomy class in high school." I was enjoying talking to her about myself, which shocked me. "At first I wanted to be a doctor, but when I found out it would take over ten years to do it, not to mention the student loans, I chose nursing instead. I'm glad I did too, especially when I discovered I had a knack for the psych specialty."

"How did you discover that?"

"During one of my psych rotations, I met a girl who was really hurting," I told her. "She'd been through hell, and I was able to help her when she needed it most. It was a revelation, and the rest is history." I was talking about Sydney vaguely, since her story wasn't mine to tell.

"Wow, your reason is better than mine." There was humor in her voice.

"Do you love what you do?"

"I do," she answered sincerely.

"So do I," I agreed. "So the reason doesn't matter does it?"

"Not at all," she answered happily.

"Is Ford your only sibling?" I asked, wanting to know more about her.

"Yeah," she answered. "He's my big brother by five years. What about you?"

"I have a twin sister named Diana."

"Is she as gorgeous as you?" Natalie asked flirtatiously.

"She's far better looking than me," I said with a smile, then paused before speaking again. "You think I'm gorgeous?"

"I do," she admitted immediately, her voice lowering seductively.

"I think you're gorgeous too, sweetheart."

"I keep thinking about all the things you did to me Sunday night," she said breathily. So much for not focusing on the physical. I pictured my hand on her throat and felt myself getting aroused already.

"What was your favorite?" I asked, my voice deepening.

"I liked them all," she said. "Do I have to choose just one?"

"No," I answered her. "I'm just asking for future reference. You know I like to bring my 'A' game."

"What was
your
favorite, David?" She said my name in that way that made me ache for her again.

"I loved your mouth on my cock."

"Mmm...I loved that too."

"I want to go down on
you
, Natalie." I growled. "I want to taste you."

"What else do you want to do to me?" she said breathlessly, sounding wanton and needy. My cock got even harder.

"I want to make you touch yourself while I watch," I told her in a harsh demanding voice.

"What if I touch myself right now?" she asked in an evil wicked tone. I swore under my breath as I shifted myself in my jeans, my cock uncomfortably hard now.

"Do it," I told her hoarsely. "Do it now."

"Yes, sir," she whispered and I could hear her start to moan over the phone line. Goddamn, it was so hot. I juggled my phone as I undid the zipper of my jeans and pulled my unbelievably hard erection out. I brought the phone back to my ear as I laid on the bed, my head on my pillow.

"I want you to come with me, Natalie." I moaned as I pumped my fist up and down my cock with slow measured strokes. "Don't come until I say so."

"Yes, sir," she said, her voice wavering. I could hear her breathing heavily now. I closed my eyes and listened to the soft sexy mewling sounds she was making, moaning and breathing hard myself. I moved my fist up and down my cock, faster and faster. I pictured what she must look like right now as I chased my release.

"You left teeth marks on me," I heard her whimper softly. I swore and let out a deep heavy groan as my release started to rise up inside me at her words.

"Now, sweetheart," I snarled. "Come now, Natalie."

I listened to her wail out my name as she came, my own climax blasting out of me right along with her. I groaned as pleasure spiraled up and out of me. I came all over my own hand, pumping out my release until I could breathe again.

"Natalie," I whispered when I could speak. "That was so damn hot."

"Oh, David," she answered breathlessly. "I know."

"I can't wait to see you again."

"Me too," she moaned out.

"I want to touch you."

Her answering hum sounded sleepy.

"Are you falling asleep?" I asked softly as a mountain of fatigue fell on me too.

"Hmm, hmm," she answered. "Sorry."

"It's okay, sweetheart," I said with amusement. "You should go to bed. I want you rested for Friday."

"What are we doing Friday night?"

"It's another surprise," I answered with a smile. I hadn't given our date a thought yet, but she didn't need to know that.

"Everything about you is a surprise, David," she mumbled. Her heartfelt words sent a flicker of fear through me, but I tamped it down and ignored it.

"Go to sleep, Natalie," I told her with affection. "I'll see you at seven on Friday, okay?"

"Okay." Her voice was starting to sound incoherent as sleep came for her.

"Good-bye, sweetheart," I whispered.

"Bye."

I ended the call and felt bereft. How could I miss someone this much already? I barely knew her. I felt fear well up inside me again as I got up off the bed to go clean myself up. I tried to ignore it, but it was still there nagging at me when I crawled into bed to go to sleep. I conjured up an image of Natalie in my head, and it seemed to help. It didn't erase all the fear, but it made it bearable as I fell asleep with Natalie's wicked smile and gleaming green eyes in my head.

CHAPTER FIVE

Natalie

"He called me last night," I told Maggie as we sat in my small office eating greasy Chinese take out. We'd both been so busy that this was the first real chance I had to talk to her today. Maggie was sitting in a chair across the desk from me with her black pumps crossed on the edge of my desk, and a box of broccoli beef in her lap. She was dressed in a white blouse and a black leather pencil skirt, and I was amazed that she hadn't dropped any food on herself yet. Her dark chin length bob was sharp and perfect today, highlighting her high cheek bones and long neck. How she still managed to look so sexy sprawled in a chair like this, and shoveling food into her mouth astounded me.

"It's about time," she grumbled. "You should have just called him yourself." She pointed at me with her chopsticks.

"Oh, no," I said with a vehement shake of my head. "I am not chasing after this one. Being too eager has gotten me into trouble before, and I'm not doing that again."

"True," she admitted. "But I've been the one listening to you obsess about it for the last three days."

"I'm playing it cool this time," I told her. "I don't want to end up with another boring boyfriend like Lucas again."

"From what you've told me about David." She looked at me pointedly. "I don't think boring is going to be a problem."

I snorted out a laugh between bites of moo shu chicken. "Hell, no," I admitted with a sly smile. I told her that the sex with David had been wild, but I hadn't given her all the details. I was still reeling from my reaction to the kinky dominant things he had said and done to me. I had no idea that being bitten and manhandled would turn me on so much. And being bossed around in bed like that was the hottest thing I had ever experienced. My body had reacted to it like it had been just waiting for someone to take control like that. It fed a deep dark part of me that I hadn't even known existed inside me. David made me wanton and brazen, and sex with him was so satisfying and made me feel uninhibited like never before.

"Are you going out with him again?" she asked.

"Yeah." I gave her a wide grin. "Friday night."

"I guess that means Friday night girl's night is out." Her face turned serious.

"Oh, my God," I blurted out. "I'm sorry. I completely forgot about that. Maybe David can take me out Saturday night instead."

"God, you're gullible, Nat." Maggie laughed as her face filled with amusement.

"Hey." I glared at her. "Not funny."

"Maybe not to you." Her grin widened, and I couldn't keep from smiling with her. "We can do Saturday night instead. I'd hate to be the reason you didn't get laid Friday night."

"Thanks, Maggie," I said with relief. I didn't want to wait until Saturday to see David again. It was bad enough having to wait until Friday. Especially after the way our phone call had ended last night. I had never done anything like that before. I would never have even considered masturbating over the phone with someone before. However, when I suggested it, I didn't know what had come over me and then when he commanded me to do it, I couldn't help myself.

The noises he made while pleasuring himself had been such a turn on, that I wished I could have watched him do it. When I got close to coming and was afraid that I couldn't stop it, I had deliberately told him about the teeth marks on my breasts and shoulder. I hoped he would find the thought of them as much of a turn on as I did every time I looked at them. It worked like a charm. He had sworn and groaned in that deep sexy voice of his, and finally told me I could come. The orgasm had felt amazing, and I couldn't wait until he could give me one himself again.