You Don't Know Me: A Stand-Alone New Adult Romance (13 page)

“
Y
ou got my note
!” Jenna grins, olive skin glowing on the white pool chair. The view of cerulean blue water down below has me captivated, but even more interesting is the trio staring at me from underneath the awning, lounging about in their shorts on the navy blue patio couches.

Jenna moves her legs so I can sit next to her and talk. “How was your room? I saw your purse still sitting on the floor when I woke up this morning. But I guess you just had to tell them who you were and they set you up, huh? I love those sunglasses! Did you just get those?” She’s talking a mile a minute. She must have had a great time after I left.

I’m not feeling quite so cheery.

I glance over to where Jack, Sean and Alec are lounging. They’ve all got shades on, but I can tell they’re all looking at us. Sean looks away first, his lips moving. I wish I could hear him. No, I don’t.

Trying to enjoy myself, I pull out another pair of Prada shades from the hotel gift bag. “Got you some, too.”

She gasps, snatching them and putting them on immediately. “How do they look?”

I smile, gratified by her excitement. My feelings for Alec have me depressed, and even shopping didn’t cure it. I bought these for her because when the idea occurred to me, it lifted my spirits. Shopping for myself, not as much fun. “They look great on you. I wish I had a mirror so I could show you. Where’s your blonde?”

Leaning back, smiling, Jenna shrugs. “She went sailing. It was just a one night thing.”

“Ever been with a woman before, Jenna-bean?”

She lifts her shades enough for me to see her eyes, before she drops them, lying back again. “Please. If I had, don’t you think you would’ve been the first to know?”

“Think you’ll do it again?”

I watch her, expecting her to instantly decline. But she’s silent, and I can see through the tint that she’s got her eyes closed. After a thoughtful moment, she says, “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Huh. Well, whatever makes you happy.” Pretending to look at the pool, I sneak another peek at Alec’s profile. He’s sitting on a dusty-blue ottoman with his bare feet on the cement, naked back slouched, shoulders beautifully highlighted by the sun, tattoo so dangerously hot it’s hard not to stare. I regret having left his room the way I did. But my tempter got the best of me. Again.

Jack turns his head and looks right at me, and I hold his gaze, saying quietly, “I stayed with Alec last night. And it’s never going to happen between us. They won’t let it. Or he won’t, because of their bond. I’m on the outside.” Jenna picks up her shades again, looking at me like
you stayed with him and took this long to tell me?
“That’s why I didn’t need my purse. I didn’t even notice I’d left it behind.” I sigh, shaking my head under the warm sun. “I ran into him on the elevator. Sean, or maybe it was Jack, was having him followed. Can you believe that?”

Jenna lays back down to act casual and not give away our conversation from afar, but now she’s very nervous for me. “Are you sure they did that? How do you know?”

“Alec saw the guy. And Jenna, if you’d have seen the way he raced through the hotel, pulling me by my hand, trying to get me in his room before we were spotted, you’d believe him, too.”

“Shit.”

I put my head in my hands, closing my eyes, my white swimsuit-cover hanging loosely over my stomach and legs. “I think I’m in love with him.”

Jenna warns me, her voice low, “Rue. You said that in the cab. Are you sure?”

“No, I’m not sure. But I can’t stop thinking about him. And when we made love, it was the most incredible feeling I’ve ever known.”

“That’s just sex.”

Shaking my head, I rise up to stand and look around for where the food might be. I’m starving. I’d gone back to the room and taken a shower in the small bathroom, getting angrier and angrier with Jack for booking us in that room. Now that the anger is gone, my stomach is making noises that can’t be denied.

“It’s more than just sex. There’s something very serious about us. I can see it in his eyes, too. But we’re both stopping it because of my stupid brothers. God, it’s hard to even say that:
brothers.
I didn’t even have brothers a week ago, so why do I care what they think of me?”

Jenna sits up and begins to gather her things. “Rue, they’re the only family you’ve got. That’s why.”

“I have you.” But even as I say it, the pain of her words hits home. She’s right.

She stands up between me and the boys, blocking my view to make sure I’m listening. “Of course you have me. And chosen family is sometimes better, frankly. But I’ve got a huge family. Cousins, my mom and dad, four brothers and sisters, my aunts and uncles. Shit, even my great-grandmother is still alive!” She smiles and takes my hand. “But you, Ruefus? You’ve just got me, and that’s not enough. Besides, blood is different.” She looks over to the boys. Alec rises. He lays his sunglasses on a table, walks to the pool with his eyes on me. Neither of us smiles at each other. He walks to the edge and dives in. Jenna sighs and glances back to me. “Maybe you should make sure you really love him, and that he loves you, too, before you throw family away for the guy. He might not be worth it.”

Looking away from her and her words, I blink away frustration. Crumbling up the gift bag in my hands, I start to walk away. “Come with me to get some food?”

“Of course! And hey,” she puts her arm around my shoulder as we walk past the guys. “Whatever you decide to do, I’m here for you.”

I smile, touched. “Thank God for you.”

“I’m pretty amazing,” she grins and releases me.

As we go back inside Aguas de Ibiza, I whisper, “Tell me not to look back to see if he’s watching.”

“Don’t look back to see if he’s watching.”

“Man, this is hard!”

“Don’t do it. Keep walking. Get the door. Good girl, Ruefus. Well played.”

“What would I do without you?”

It’s like a magnet has released me as soon as we’re inside. I exhale deeply, letting go of my need to go to him. As my best friend and I walk toward the restaurant, she hands me her water bottle so she can dig around her purse for her lip balm. “You’d probably kill Jack, that’s what you’d do. You guys scare me.”

Fueled by the reminder, I explode. “Did you know he gave us that little rinky-dink room on purpose?! They all got the most amazing suites. Can you believe that?!”

Glancing to me while applying the balm, she frowns. “I like our room. It’s really nice.”

“Not nice enough.” Picking up the pace of my steps, I leave Jenna behind as I race to the hostess desk of the restaurant. A petite Spanish girl with a low, tight ponytail and perfect eyebrows looks up at me and smiles. “Hi. I’m starving. What’s the best table you’ve got?”

Recognition lights her eyes. “Oh! Miss Stone. Yes. This way.” She turns to the beige room and passes the dessert table. I look around and see large modern columns surrounded by square, taupe-colored four tops. She’s bringing us to one of those, the menus already primed to be laid down.

“No! I want the best table. Understand? I don’t care that it’s just the two of us. I want one of those.” I point to round tables set close to the bright windows, meant for five or more people. The hostess hastily lifts the menus and nods, apologetically leading us to where we have every right to be. Pleased with myself, I glance back to Jenna to share in the victory, and see her looking at me oddly. “What?”

Regarding me silently for a moment, she says “Nothing.”

“Jenna, if you’d have seen Alec’s room, you would want the best, too.”

She slides into her chair and takes the menu. “Thank you,” she smiles to the hostess. I open up the menu and look at it, disturbed by Jenna’s judgmental expression. It worsens as the hostess walks away. “You didn’t thank her, Rue.”

Blinking, I look up. “Oh. Well, you did. So that’s enough, isn’t it?”

I focus on the menu again, not interested in what she’s thinking about me. But that’s not really true… deep down, I can feel it. I felt it even before it was reflected in her eyes. I’m changing. And the truth is, I want to change. I want to show Jack that I fit into his world. It would have been my world, too, had Max talked my mother into it. Or if he’d left his wife.

I should feel bad for Connie Stone, but every time her jerk son acts like I’m ignorant, crass, or beneath them, that compassion for her goes right out the window. He was my dad, too. If only my mother had let Max get to know me. Maybe then I would have had a dad. Maybe then Jack and I would’ve been friends. And maybe Sean wouldn’t have to protect me the way he does, because I would have been confident in the life they live in because it would have been my life, too.

Putting down the menu, I stare out the window. There’s no way of ever knowing… but I can’t help but wonder that if things had been different, maybe Alec and I would be able to be together without worrying about losing the people closest to us.

I want to be close to my brothers. I want very much for them to accept me. I just have a funny way of showing it.

But hey, no one’s perfect. Least of all, me.

A
loud
SLAP
wakes me from the wonderful dream I was having about whales. My head jerks at the sound and I crane my neck to see Jack glowering above me, silhouetted by the early-afternoon sun.

I can recognize fury when I see it, so I sigh loudly in annoyance, “What is it now, Jack?”

Without even so much as a hello, he snaps, “Look, nimrod.”

I twist my spine and blink at a copy of
US Magazine
that’s skewed against my side. With a start, I snatch up the glossy paper, sitting upright as I cry, “No!”

Staring back at me is an old Stone family photo, before Max’s death.
My father
. I still can’t identify him in that way without feeling like I’m in a Twilight Zone episode. But the horrifying part is that superimposed over the top right of this famous family picture is me, dancing on the bar back in New York in my magic blue dress, my arms thrust out in front of me like Superman. Headline:
Stone Family’s Billions Squandered By Bastard Surprise.

“Oh no,” I moan, feeling the air in my lungs begin to spin.

“Oh yes,” my new brother sneers, dropping a fluttering pile of periodicals to add to my nightmare. Some are American, others are from Spain, France, Britain, and Canada. One after the other, I scan their covers and toss them aside, overcome by a debilitating nausea. In most, I’m with Sean and Jack and the look on my face is so cold, I come off as an ice queen bitch. On three covers is the photo taken at my apartment, the one we posed for. The boys look great with their practiced smirks, but in this, I look absolutely terrified.

Maxwell Stone Gave The Nanny More Than A Tip

“No. Oh no no no no no no.” I moan, unable to stop looking.

Saints Jack and Sean Stone Accept Bastard Baby Sister

Another Nanny Breaks Up Home–Costs Family Millions

Rue Calliwell Squanders Inheritance on Booze and Men

Staring at the image of Jack’s and my hand clasped tight, my stomach twists.
Just Siblings?
asks the headline.

With water rippling off her hair, Jenna returns from a swim in the pool leaving a trail of watery footprints behind her. “What’s up? Oh my GOD!” She grabs one of the magazines, then another. Then another.

Stripping my eyes away from a photo of Alec holding me as we plowed through the mob at the Hyatt, I look over to Jenna who’s sitting on the chair next to mine with her eyes huge and horrified. She holds up
People Magazine
and shrugs, trying to see the silver lining. “At least you look good.” I read the headline: Olivia Calliwell, Billionaire’s Nanny, Made More Than His Beds.

My hand flies to my throat as hot tears lash my eyes. Jenna goes white, realizing how much this has pierced me. “Rue, I’m sorry…”

I barely hear her. They’re saying everything Jack’s been thinking, completely validating his treatment of me. They think I’m trash. A child of infidelity, and they’re right. What kind of pride can be taken in the way I came to be? I’m a baby born from only pain, hidden secretly until age twenty-one when I was destined to rise up and dishonor the memory of a ‘great man’ and bring his family to powdery ashes.

I jump up and run. From the headlines. From Jack. From me.

Leaping into the air, I throw my arms above me and dive into the pool’s sweet baptism. The sounds of the world morph into a vortex of blessed indiscernible nothingness. I breathe bubbles of air out, removing as much of my body’s buoyancy as possible, paddling my arms lightly to sink to the bottom and stay here. Down here lies escape. Nothing matters. Not even me. Especially not me.

I’ve been spinning ever since I awoke to discover Jack announcing mysteriously from my doorstep that I’d be hearing from his lawyer. I’ve been caught in a tornado of insecurity and excitement, ego and pride, freedom and fear. And underneath those, I’ve been trying to fit in just like I promised myself I wouldn’t. I’ve been reaching beyond my own truth in a vain attempt to become an idea.

I’ve been trying to be like them. But I’m not like them. I’m nothing. And now the whole world knows it.

My lungs hurt, but I ignore them, and lose myself in the distraction of the sun’s kaleidoscope of refracted light throughout the water. It’s so beautiful, peaceful and otherworldly. It beckons me to stay. I watch it and feel peaceful for the first time since I heard the news. The feeling is so longed for that I don’t even know what I’m doing when I open my mouth and let a little water in. In the far reaches of my mind, I know it’s not air, but it feels better than the air I’ve been breathing. The dull echo of sounds begins to be replaced by the sweet lullaby of my slowing heart as I drink more.

Images from my life float by, my mind growing sleepy as I watch them. Sean and I dancing by ourselves at Space Ibiza and him doing the robot, making me cramp up from laughing. My mother taking a bite of my peanut butter toast so big that it was almost gone, and then laughing with her mouth full as I protested. My audition for The Lion King Musical where I was covered in sweat and happiness as we went over the routines again and again. Jenna and my hands held together as we rode across the Brooklyn Bridge. Her running into my room at age twelve, screaming that she’d finally kissed Trathen Heckman. Alec pulling me into the elevator and kissing me so hard my teeth nearly cut my lips. The noise at the airport making him have to yell his declaration that I wasn’t alone.

I’m not alone. Not alone… not alone…

I try to open my eyelids but I can’t. I gasp for air, but there is no air down here and gasping only makes that painfully clear. The water has become so heavy. My limbs won’t move; throat and body are numb. There is no more anything. No more pain. No more chances. No more love.