You Found Me (225 page)

I don't really know what it is I'm writing. For the most part I'm writing to just take up time, mainly because I'm bored. What is it about this place that makes me so bored? I look around and I see all sorts of people from all walks of life. Each one of us going through something that no other individual could ever understand nor realize. Who we are and what we're going through is something in itself. I don't care. I'm just writing to take up time.

Maybe there's something I'm missing. Some of the people here are really hurting. Who and why I don't know. I know they are hurting though. Is that bad? Is it bad that I'm practically waving off the fact they hurt? I know they hurt. I know more than anyone else in here. The nurses, doctors, visitors, therapists. I'm one of them. They aren't. You can't truly understand what's going on unless you're a part of what's going on.

I am apart of what's going on. I know it's not all me; it's not that everything revolves around me and that I'm the only one who matters. But I'm apart of it. These people, the ones I'm locked here with, we're all in pain. Terrible, terrible pain.

I
s
toppe
d
w
r
i
t
i
n
g
.
I
l
o
o
ke
d
at
th
e
p
i
e
ce
o
f
p
a
pe
r.
W
h
at
I
'd w
r
i
t
t
e
n
did
n
't
r
e
a
l
ly
m
a
k
e
s
en
s
e
.
I
r
e
ad
it
ov
e
r
a
n
d
ov
e
r
a
g
ai
n
.
I
t
w
as
j
unk
,
I
to
ld
m
y
s
e
lf.
I
t
w
a
s
ex
a
c
t
ly
ho
w
I
f
e
l
t
.
I
w
a
s
l
o
s
t
.
I
f
e
lt
l
i
k
e
s
o
m
e
th
i
n
g
i
ns
ide
o
f
me
h
ad
bee
n
to
rn
a
p
art
a
n
d
l
e
ft
f
o
r
d
e
ad. W
h
a
t
e
v
e
r
it
w
a
s,
it
w
as
go
n
e
.
I
c
r
u
m
b
l
e
d
it
up
.
Th
e
r
e
w
a
s
a
g
a
r
b
a
g
e
c
an
ne
ar
me
a
n
d
I
th
r
e
w
it
a
wa
y
.
I
cl
o
s
e
d
my
e
ye
s
as
t
h
e
te
a
r
s
beg
an
t
o
sho
w.

I
w
as
l
o
s
t
.

N
i
gh
t
t
ime
w
a
s
th
e
h
a
r
d
e
s
t
.
I
w
ou
ld
l
ay
i
n
be
d
a
n
d
t
r
y
t
o d
r
e
am,
b
u
t
my
tho
u
ght
s
w
ou
ld
c
on
s
u
me
m
e
.
I
c
ou
ld
n
't
d
r
e
am,
th
e
y w
ou
ld
n
't
c
o
me
t
o
m
e
.
I
f
e
lt
a
s
if
I
w
as
c
hok
i
ng
,
a
s
if
I
w
as
be
i
ng.
.
.
c
on
s
t
ri
c
t
e
d
in
s
o
me
f
o
r
m
o
r
f
as
h
i
o
n
.
I
did
n
't
kno
w
w
h
at
it
w
as,
bu
t
it
f
e
lt
li
k
e
I
w
a
s
a
ll
o
w
e
d
t
o
b
r
e
a
the
.
I
w
a
nte
d
t
o
b
r
e
a
the
.

W
he
n
I
d
id
d
r
e
am,
the
y
w
ou
ld
b
e
s
ca
tte
r
e
d
a
n
d
did
n
't
m
a
k
e s
e
n
s
e
.
I
'
v
e a
l
wa
y
s
bee
n
to
ld
th
at
d
r
e
a
m
s
d
on
't
m
a
k
e
s
e
n
se
i
n
th
e
f
i
r
st
p
lac
e
,
bu
t
my
dr
e
a
ms
o
f
te
n
h
ad.
M
a
yb
e
th
e
y
w
e
r
e
st
r
a
n
g
e
o
r s
o
m
eth
i
n
g
li
k
e
th
a
t
,
bu
t
th
e
y
made
s
en
se
in s
o
me
wa
y
.
H
a,
w
h
o
am
I
k
iddi
ng
?
T
h
e
y
ne
v
e
r
m
a
k
e s
en
s
e
.
Noth
i
n
g in
th
e w
o
r
ld ma
ke
s s
e
n
s
e
.

I
l
ook
e
d
a
r
o
un
d
my
r
o
o
m.
I
t
w
a
s
s
t
i
ll
b
l
a
n
d,
noth
i
n
g
th
e
r
e
t
o
sho
w
so
m
eo
n
e
o
cc
up
i
e
d
th
e
r
oo
m
be
f
o
re
y
ou
.
F
o
r
a
ll
I
k
n
o
w,
th
e
r
e c
ou
ld'
v
e
bee
n
te
n
o
r
t
w
e
n
t
y
oth
e
r
peop
le
w
ho
'd
c
o
me
be
f
o
r
e
m
e
.
I
t
w
as
as
i
f
c
h
a
n
g
e
s
w
e
re
m
ade
f
o
r
n
o
on
e
.
B
u
t
th
a
t
's
w
h
at
we
ne
e
d
e
d. S
o
m
et
im
e
s
we
nee
d
t
o
kno
w
th
i
ng
s
a
r
en
't
gonn
a
c
h
a
n
g
e
.
S
o
m
et
im
e
s we
nee
d
s
o
me
s
o
r
t
o
f
st
a
b
i
li
ty
.
S
o
m
et
im
e
s
we
n
e
e
d
s
o
m
eth
i
ng
.
.
.

------

“R
ob
,
c
a
l
m
d
o
w
n,
”
D
r
.
Kee
n
e
r
s
aid.

“I
AM
C
AL
M!
”
I
sh
o
ute
d
,
t
h
e
n i
m
m
e
dia
te
ly
r
e
a
l
iz
e
d
w
h
at
I
'd d
one
.
“
I
'm
..
.
I
'm
s
o
r
r
y
.
I
'm
j
u
s
t
.
..
”
I
p
a
u
s
e
d.
“
I
'm
f
r
u
s
t
r
a
te
d
a
n
d
a
n
g
r
y.
”

“A
ng
r
y
at
w
ho
?
”

“
Ho
w
m
u
ch
t
ime
y
a
g
ot
?
I
'
m
a
n
g
r
y
at
ev
e
r
y
th
i
ng
,
ev
e
r
y
o
ne
.
Mo
m,
D
ad,
f
r
i
en
ds,
f
a
m
il
y
,
Go
d
.
..
e
ve
n
me
f
o
r
c
r
y
i
n
g
ou
t
l
ou
d
.
”