Young Annabelle (15 page)

I was suddenly conscious of the stickiness of
my t-shirt, heated from our prolonged embrace. I stared impatiently
at him while he slid the shirt off; it was taking way too long
because my body craved his heat and touch desperately. The ten
seconds it took was far too long for my body to tolerate being
without him on top of me.

“You like what you see, Fireball?” James
purred seductively, leaning back into me.

I didn’t respond with words, instead I
grabbed him around his naked waist for the first time and pulled
him towards me with urgency. He pressed his lips back into mine,
moving with a pace that rivaled where he’d left off, then
surpassing it as the kiss intensified into a necessity to remain
alive. Vital to his survival. The force made my head tilt further
and further into his pillow until there was nowhere else to sink to
– the mattress was too strong for me to dent into it.

I realized the area around my breast was
vacant, he hadn’t returned to massaging it. I searched my body for
his hands as my eyes remained closed and my lips were busy matching
his intensity. But the fire of his touch wasn’t enough to distract
me when I felt my t-shirt beginning to slowly rise. Cold air
blasted my skin while his fingers lightly caressed it. I let him
have that tiny sliver of skin; my stomach was still covered after
all. His fingers began crawling up underneath my shirt.

“No,” I murmured into his kiss. My arms
unlocked from around his shoulders and slid down to where his hands
were. I tried to tug them out, no match for his strength, but he
stopped moving and pulled back on his own. Once his hands were off
my stomach, I pulled my t-shirt back down to cover the little bit
of skin that was showing.

“What’s wrong?” He was panting and looking
confused.

I propped myself up on my elbows and rested
my back against his headboard.

It’s time to call it
quits
,
I ordered myself.

“Nothing, I just think we’re going way too
fast.”

He slid off me and rolled over onto to his
side of the bed, leaning into me, his arm encircling my waist.

“What?” James panted wildly. “We just
started.”

I glanced down and saw him shamelessly
pouting at me.

“Calm down, Tiger,” I laughed, shaking my
head.

“Back to ‘Tiger’, huh? If that’s what you
wanted all this time, then why didn’t you say so? I’ll show you
‘Tiger’,” he said cockily, squeezing my waist with his arm to pull
me closer to him.

“I’m thirsty,” I announced suddenly, angling
slightly away from him.

“I’m sorry, what a horrible hostess I am.
Would you like a glass of water?” James playfully responded in an
exaggerated voice.

“Yes, I’d love a cup of water,” I responded,
mimicking his mock-politeness.

He jumped up and crawled off the bed. “One
cup of water, coming up.” He opened the door and sauntered out, not
bothering to put his shirt back on. I sat back and watched his
half-naked body walk down the hall to the stairs.

Damn, he’s cute!

I grinned widely and mentally patted myself
on the back. Not too shabby, even if this was just a little bit of
fun. I wasn’t putting myself out there; I knew this was just a bit
of fun for him too. He was too good looking and when school started
there would be a bevy of beauties lining up to be his arm-candy. I
knew I wasn’t ugly, but I was definitely not arm-candy material. I
imagined the two of us walking side by side in school – we just
didn’t match. I was overweight and average looking while he was
tall, muscle-bound, and extremely good-looking. Yes, he acted like
a stupid asshole most of the time, but with those physical
attributes the hot girls at school wouldn’t care how he acted –
they’d think anything he did hot.

Just like you do!
I scolded myself, realizing I
was just as bad. I accepted his faults or, rather, pushed them to
the side when it came to experiencing the benefits of being the aim
of his current affections. I was a fraud; whatever I stood for
instantly took a back seat, and not gracefully either – I
practically kicked my instincts and morals to the curb whenever I
was around him. Little by little, he cracked whatever shields I
had.

“Whatcha thinking about?”

My eyes flicked up and see James standing in
his doorframe with my cup of water, staring at me.

I gave him a small smile and shook my head
innocently. “I’m not thinking about anything but your cute ass.” I
ostentatiously gave his body a once-over, my smile growing
wider.

“Well, that makes sense,” he laughed and
brought me the cup.

I gulped down half of it then placed it on
his side table.

“Thanks,” I said as he crawled on the bed
beside me.

“No problem, anything you want,” he responded
sweetly.

He’s nice.

I stared straight ahead as the realization
hit me: if he kept treating me like this, I’d fall deeper and
deeper and when it all came crashing down, what would I do?

“So, you live here with your dad and
step-mom?” I asked, changing the subject.

“That’s right,” he replied hesitantly.

“How’s it going so far?” I continued.

He let out a long breath and waited a few
seconds before responding. “It’s temporary.”

“That’s it?”

“What do you want me to say? My mom wanted to
go traveling with her new boyfriend, so I got shipped to my dad’s
and have to spend my senior year at a brand new school. Is that
enough for you?” His sweet voice had turned bitter.

“I take it you miss your old school? Bet you
were Mr. Popular back there, huh?” I turned to face him and watched
as my comment changed his pissed expression into a big grin.

“Of course!” James exclaimed. “I was the
man!”

“Bet you had a line of ladies after you,” I
laughed, nudging his shoulder.

“Oh, the ladies.” He pretended to sniff back
his tears. “Those poor girls, what are they going to do without me
there to look up their skirts?”

I could do nothing but grin and shake my head
at him.

“They must have had a funeral for you when
you left.”

“Yes, they did, actually. I heard it was
really sad.” He pretended to sniffle more and I couldn’t help
laughing. He shifted his body closer to mine and wrapped an arm
around my waist. I sank into his embrace, comfortable being close
to him again. He rested his head on my arm.

“Your turn,” he whispered.

“My turn?” My body was distracting me by
welcoming back the familiar sensations that his touch
triggered.

“Yeah. I ask, you tell.” He lips gently
caressed my arm.

“Okay,” I answered softly.

“What happened this morning?” As he asked he
squeezed his arm around my waist, pulling me closer.

I paused for a few seconds. I didn’t know how
much I wanted to share. I certainly didn’t want his pity. But it
would be kind of nice to talk about it to someone besides Jenna. I
hadn’t known James for that long, but from the beginning I’d felt
very comfortable with him. Even though he made me nervous. I might
not have any chance in the real world but, right now, it felt right
to just go with it and just see what happens.

You’re with him now, that counts for
something.

“My mom was just harassing me about my food.
It’s been like this since the beginning of summer. So this morning
I just had enough and cracked. I yelled at her and my dad then left
the house not telling them where I was going or when I was coming
back,” I explained tiredly.

“Was it like you wanted to run away?” James
asked sounding like he understood exactly what it felt like to be
harassed by parents.

I thought about it for a moment. When I was
packing my bag, grabbing the basic essentials, I had felt a rush of
adrenaline pump through me as if the choice I was making was a big
one. One that made a statement. I had walked out while they were
scolding me, just like I had two weeks ago, but this time it was
different. I’d had enough of their constant nagging about what I
ate and how I looked. This time, I did something to show them that
their actions were not okay: I had walked out without giving any
information as to what I was going to do, where I was going, or
when I was coming back. In a way, I had hoped it would remind them
that my days as a teenager who had to listen to them were almost
over. The express train to adulthood was coming straight for me
and, whether they liked it or not, that feeling of being able to
decide what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it wasn’t going
to go away. In fact, it was only growing stronger each day. My
attitude was definitely heading for a direction where I would
finally feel in control.

“Yeah, that’s what it felt like. Sort of. But
‘runaway’ is more of a kid term. I’m going to be eighteen in April
and, until then, I’m putting my foot down when it comes to doing
things I don’t want to do.” I felt empowered by my words.

“That’s right. Do whatever the fuck you want
to do,” he proclaimed then laughed into my arm.

I laughed a little too but stopped when James
began to snuggle deeper into me, his body rubbing against mine.

Well, the deep chat ends
here
.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked,
staring down at his head.

“Enough talking,” he murmured.

“Oh yeah, then what are we going to do?” I
asked, laughing.

“Oh, I can think of a few things…”

He got up and pushed himself off the bed. He
stood at the edge of the bed and grabbed my feet. I stared at him
in confusion as he pulled my legs. I slid down the headboard, my
head hitting the pillow, and James lowered my legs back onto the
bed.

“There you go, that’s better,” he exclaimed,
climbing back over the bed to hover on top of me.

I just got
manhandled!

I grinned as he pushed aside a strand of hair
from my face.

“Much better,” he said softly as his fingers
caressed my cheeks.

We gazed into each other eyes. My stomach
began feeling soft and squishy. A warm, gooey hug squeezed my
heart, sending waves of brand new feelings through my body.

Shit! I think I’m going
crazy!

Before I could say anything to stop the
madness, he leaned in and planted his lips back on mine.

Oh! Okay!

I was taken aback by the sensation his lips
shot into my body. My body rejoiced happily at the return of his
touch, as if it had been drowning and his lips were the life
raft.

God!

I returned his kiss, moving my arms around
his shoulders as his body sunk further into me.

*****

I took out my phone and texted Mom:

I had a nutritious lunch

A few minutes later…

Beep! Beep!

From: Mom

Thank You!!!!

I closed the message and tucked my phone back
into my backpack. I had just left James’ house after an hour and a
half of kissing and fondling. I’d let him touch my boobs again,
which made him think it was okay to pull my shirt back up but I’d
stopped him immediately, telling him that I wasn’t comfortable with
that part, that it was too soon. Although I had no problem with him
being shirtless; his body was perfect, beautiful, and muscles
galore. My hands began buzzing with sensation at the memory of the
circles they had made over every inch of his naked chest.

That was nice…
I remembered each muscle my
hand had grazed.

Unlike him, my body, especially my stomach,
was nowhere near naked-ready. Even a small sliver of skin exposed
made me nervous at what he would think or feel when his hand met
the roundness of my skin. But now that I had time to think about
it, if I was a bit skinnier and my stomach was flatter, would I
have let him lift up my shirt? Would I have let him pull the entire
thing off? Would I have gone the whole way with him? I’d
practically groped his entire body and let him do the same, and he
wasn’t even my boyfriend nor was my body even close perfect.

Would I be more of a slut if I
were skinny?

The thought horrified me.

Damn! I would…I think I would
have…probably…gone all the way…

I hugged myself, shocked at my own admission.
It felt good, really good, kissing him. I didn’t mind when his hand
kept caressing my breasts, which was something most boys had to
wait a while to get to – and I’d let him on his second try with me.
I had to control myself; my emotions were all over the place. With
what happened this morning, then meeting James and ending up in his
bed having a marathon kissing session, I’d better re-evaluate my
decisions next time my mind was not in the right place.

The events that took place this morning had
left me emotionally damaged, so much so that my brain had lost all
logic. That was how I so easily let James take me to his bed and
kiss the hell out of me while copping many feels.

It did feel nice
though…No!
I shook my
head. I had to snap out of this ‘feels nice’ thing. If things kept
going at this pace with him, what would happen next time? Because I
was sure there was going to be a next time. He definitely would
want something more in our next meet up; he had taken his shirt
off, lay across my body, and held on to me as if he wanted his body
imprinted onto mine. He would be expecting next time to be my turn
to be
au
naturale
on top – with
or without a bra, whatever floated my boat, as long as there was
some major skin showing. In my case it was a lot of easily
jiggle-able skin that needed the help and support of a structured
shirt to keep it pushed back.

Oh my God, am I ever going to
have a flat stomach? I wish I did!
I tormented myself for a few seconds but stopped
when I realized what might potentially happen when I became more
confident with how my body looked.