Young Annabelle (21 page)

“How so? Is there something special happening
at the party?” Jenna sneakily asked.

“You could say that!” Donna sung. I heard her
pucker her lips; it made me feel ill, puke-worthy.

“Well? Spill!” Jenna urged.

Jenna! What are you
doing?
An anxiety bubble
began growing inside my stomach at the assumption of what had Donna
all excited.

Please! Let it not be what I
think it is!
I prayed
silently.

“James,” she sighed.

No!

“James? Who’s that? I don’t think I’ve met
him yet,” Jenna lied, playing stupid. She may not have met him
officially, but she’d see him soon enough in the hallways or in the
cafeteria.

“James Lassles!” Donna purred.

“So hot!” Latisha sighed.

“Tall, dark, and incredibly built,” Sydney
whispered as if it were hot gossip to be kept on the down low.

God help me now!

“James Lassles,” Jenna repeated.

“My future boyfriend,” Donna declared with
determination.

No!

“Wow, well I guess you’ve got a plan to make
him yours?” Jenna asked her.

I didn’t know what she was thinking, but I
knew the calm tone to her voice was a lie. She was my best friend
and she didn’t like it when I got upset; I was upset, really
upset.

She’s trying to get some
answers out of them,
I
assumed silently.

“You got that right,” Donna answered
seductively.

Oh my God! What’s with the slut
voice?
I felt the
beginnings of a world-class headache on its way as I tried to
decipher the meaning behind her tone. Did she plan to use her
assets to claim James officially?

I hope not!

“Oh yeah, how?” Jenna asked.

“That’s my little secret,” Donna replied
coyly. The sound of her bubbly princess-style giggles were enough
to make me want to throw up; thank goodness I was trapped in a
stall with a perfectly working toilet.

Jenna laughed like she got it – only I could
tell it was fake.

“Okay, whatever you say, girl,” she replied,
replicating the crew’s enthusiasm. “So, when did you guys find out
about this party?”

“Peter told everyone at lunch,” Latisha
responded.

Peter was sitting across from
James!
James
knew about this party before our library session!
I was getting too
warm.

“James said he was going right?” Jenna asked,
faking concern.

I don’t know how much more of
this I can take!
I wiped
sweat off my forehead.

“Yeah! He and the guys were like so excited
when Peter announced it,” Donna exclaimed joyously.

“That’s good, at least you know he’s going to
be there like for sure!” Jenna replied.

A bubbling feeling began to cause me
discomfort as I waited for Donna to answer. A large gurgled noise
rose out of my stomach, loud enough for everyone in the washroom to
hear.

“What was that?” Sydney burst out
laughing.

“Ew!” Donna muttered.

“Yeah,” Jenna agreed, matching their
tones.

“Let’s go before whoever it is stinks up the
entire bathroom,” Donna said.

I heard their shoes click against the hard
ground and the door open.

“Jenna, you coming?” Latisha asked.

“I’ve got to use the bathroom, you guys go
ahead,” she explained, marching up to one of the stalls.

“Okay, later girl!” Latisha shouted as she
exited.

“Bye!” Jenna called as she went into the
stall.

The door closed and the washroom went
completely silent for a few seconds. It was so quiet I could hear
my own breathing

“Anna?” Jenna whispered from inside her
stall. I heard her walk out of her stall and over to mine.

“Coast is clear,” she said to the door.

I unlocked the door and opened it. I blinked
at the sight of Jenna’s worried face as she scanned me from head to
toe. I walked stoically to the closest sink and turned on the tap.
I washed my hands in silence as I checked my reflection. My cheeks
were slightly flushed, but other than that I looked better than the
nervous wreck I was inside.

Donna and James!
The thought was replaying over
and over in my mind. I imagined them in tight embrace at Peter’s
party, hidden away in one of the bedrooms.

“
Anna, your hands are shaking!” Jenna was
suddenly beside me.
How’d she get there?
I didn’t even hear her footsteps.

I’m out of it!

I turned off the tap and dried my hands with
a paper towel. All in silence.

Jenna grabbed me by the shoulders as I threw
the paper towel in the garbage.

“Dude, you need to calm down,” she ordered,
her voice soothing. “Deep breathes.”

Deep breathes.

I obeyed.

“I’m okay,” I muttered to her.

“Did he tell you in the library?” Jenna
interrogated. So much for calm and soothing, she was in drill
sergeant mode now. “Did he tell you about the party at Peter’s
tonight?”

I stared wide-eyed at her and shook my head.
Her eyes narrowed at my response as her lips tightened.

She’s pissed!

“So he tells you he likes you, follows you
like a little puppy dog to the library, then makes out with you
whilst you were on his lap, and he didn’t tell you about the
party?!”

“No,” I mumbled depressingly. I felt wetness
at the corner of my eyes as a lump grew in the base of my
throat.

Don’t you cry!
I ordered myself as I tried to
choke back the tears. I was a joke, a stupid naïve little girl who
let herself be played like a fiddle. Even after he’d ignored me for
two weeks after kissing me in his bed, it had not taken him long to
get me right back in that position.

I had no backbone. I was weak, a failure, a
pathetic groupie who thought she had a shot when, in fact, she was
just a matter of convenience for him.

“No!” Jenna ordered, seeing my eyes well
up.

My lip clenched but the ripples were too
strong for me to contain. A small whimper escaped as a tear rolled
down my face.

“I’m sorry!” I exploded as a puddle of tears
slid down my face, racing to my chin.

Jenna pulled me into a tight hug.

“Don’t cry, Anna. Don’t!” she ordered, her
voice clearly upset. “Don’t cry over that D-bag, he’s a piece of
shit liar!”

I rested my head on to her shoulder as she
took a step back to look me in the eyes. I couldn’t look at
her.

Food!

I salivated in front of a row of chips as my
sweaty body basked in the air-conditioned bliss of a 7-eleven. An
hour at Jenna’s hadn’t helped nearly as much as she’d hoped. One, I
was starving and I hadn’t eaten anything there. Two, and most
importantly, I was a zombie that refused to indulge in feelings
that were safely locked away and hidden – I’d open that safe later,
in the privacy of my room, hoping my tears wouldn’t ruin what was
left of my psyche.

But, for now, I was a zombie on a mission.
While stupid James and his slut-slave Donna danced away at Peter’s
party tonight, I would indulge in the most massive junk food binge
of my life.

Operation junk food: Commence!

I had grabbed a basket from the front
before trailing towards the junk food aisle of the store. I planned
to fill it up. My hands automatically answered the call of junk
food and grabbed a few bags of chips along with some candy bars.
The next stop, possibly the most important, was the sliding fridge.
I grabbed four cans of
regular
pop and neatly lined them in the basket so that they
wouldn’t trample the candy bars and chips.

The calorie-count in all of this was going to
be in the thousands – I didn’t care. I was eating all of it.
Tonight. I wanted there to be smudges of chocolate all over my
mouth as I slept. I wanted to sleep on smashed pieces of chips that
failed to make it into my mouth. I wanted to wake up tomorrow
morning with a toothache so painful it’d make me forget about
today.

I could only hope.

I made my way to the counter to pay, and
along the way my hand grabbed a small bag of kettle popcorn that
was on sale and a small bag of Cracker Jacks.

I decided I needed those too.

I brought my overflowing basket to the
cashier and handed over some money. I placed everything into my
backpack with care, placing the heavier items on the bottom. Since
the first day back this year had fallen on a Friday, there was no
homework so my bag was practically empty except for my doodle
notebook.

The automatic sliding doors opened as new
customers walked in. I hoisted my backpack onto my shoulders,
preparing to make the trip home a quick one because it was
especially hot today and I needed to get home before my chocolates
melted and my drinks got warm. I hated warm pop. I couldn’t drink
them at that temperature and, if that happened, it would be very
bad. With how things had been going so far, one more disappointment
would be the tipping point in my psychological meltdown. I made a
safe bet when I placed all my happiness cards in the instant
satisfaction of cheap junk food.

The sliding doors opened for me and I
speed walked home, careful not to shake my bag too much so the cans
of pop wouldn’t
explode
when I opened them. I wanted to drink it, not bathe in
it.

I quietly opened the front door as I slid out
my key from the lock, careful not to make noise. I wanted one thing
and that was to make it to my room as fast as possible.

“Annabelle? Is that you?” Mom called from the
basement.

I let out a sigh at my failure and closed the
door behind me. The floorboards rumbled as I kicked off my shoes. I
tightened my hold on the straps of my backpack. My treasure was
safe in there as long as I kept it close to my body; as long as my
bag was on my back, she couldn’t unzip it and explore.

That would be rude.

“Annabelle? Why didn’t you answer?” Mom asked
from the hallway.

I looked up as she entered the foyer. “I’m
just tired,” I responded exhaustedly.

“How was your first day? Senior year!”

“It was fine. Nothing special.” I shrugged
and turned to the stairs, “I’m going to my room.”

“Wait! Annabelle, darling, about the shirt.”
Mom squinted her eyes and shook her head. “It’s a lovely color but
the way it’s fallen over your sweaty frame…it looks like it’s been
painted on. Darling…no.”

“No problem, Mom. Next time I’ll wear
something not as tight.”

“Thank you dear.”

Without another word I jogged up the stairs
to my room. I shut my door and collapsed against it with a sigh of
relief.

I dumped my bag on my bed. Tonight was the
night to wallow in despair over the terrible mistakes I’d made this
past month. I planned to inhale every ounce of food in that
backpack and enjoy the sweet and salty goodness because tomorrow
and Sunday I had to snap back and figure out a way to save
face.

I unzipped my bag and took out my first candy
bar. Holding it like the treasure it was, I delicately unwrapped it
and took my first bite of chocolate. My safe haven.

Friday September
7
^th
2012

James’ tongue tasted like chocolate as he
pressed his lips farther into mine.

Yum, chocolate…
I deepened the kiss, kicking
away my previous intentions of telling him to go fuck himself. How
could I tell him to go away when he tasted like
chocolate?

I don’t turn away chocolate, not ever!

He lowered me back onto the ground and my
shoes crunched against a texture that wasn’t there before. I pulled
back slightly; the aroma of chocolate was too much for me to handle
without biting him. As I stared into his beautiful green eyes my
shoes made crunching noises.

What am I standing on?

I glanced down and blinked in shock. Potato
chips covered every inch of the school’s front terrace. I glanced
up in confusion.

“What’s all of this?” I asked, incredibly
confused.

All of a sudden, James’ mouth was covered in
smudges of melted chocolate as he gazed at me lovingly. “Baby, I
did it for you!” he exclaimed like he was lovesick.

I gazed at the yellow texture covering the
entire terrace then back up to him. “You did this for me?”

He nodded sweetly. “I know you love chips, my
love. I did it to prove my devotion to you!”

“I do love chips!” I replied bewildered.

“
And
chocolate!” He purred seductively.

“I love chocolate too!” I gushed, about to
swoon.

“Baby, I know!” He growled sexily and grabbed
my waist, bending into me to press his chocolate-covered mouth onto
mine passionately – letting me taste chocolate like I’d never
tasted chocolate before.

Beep! Beep!

The noise rang loudly from the sky. James
pulled back and stared deep in my eyes. I blinked a few times; his
entire face was covered in chocolate.

“You like what you see, Fireball?” he
purred.

My eyes jerked open.

Beep! Beep!

What?

I blinked a few times, taking several moments
to realize where I was. I glanced up at my ceiling.

I’m still in bed!

I had dreamt the entire weekend went by in a
flash and I met up with James on the terrace before school
started.

How could I not know it was a dream?

Idiot!

I took a deep breath and wiped chip crumbs
off my shirt. My hands shuffled around my bed until they felt my
phone resting beside my pillow. I wiped any grease left on my hands
on my sweaty green shirt then tapped on the message.