Youngin' Blues: The Story of Reed and RaKeem (15 page)

“Excuse me! Ms. Noble. Come back!” she heard behind her, but she just couldn’t.

Her adrenaline rushed as she neared the waiting area. Not before long, she could feel even more glares. Everyone probably thought that she was insane, and she felt the same too. Having just gone through such horrific procedure, KinZu wished that she could crawl under a rock and die. She didn’t feel the need to live any longer.

Like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day, KinZu witnessed her best friend Reed stand from her seat at the door, puffy eyes and all, and stretch her arms out. Accepting the open invitation, KinZu ran into Reed’s arms. She wasn’t expecting her to be present, because she had so much going on herself. However, she was thankful for her presence. Calm consumed her the moment her body clashed with Reed’s. Chest to chest, the two embraced.

Both women drowned in their sorrows, right in the middle of the waiting room. The nurse that was trying to get KinZu’s attention prior stopped where she was, and allowed the moment. The women that looked on became emotional, shedding tears with the best friends. No one knew their story, but they were able to stir the emotions of every woman amongst them.

“I love you, Reed.” KinZu cried into Reed’s neck. She’d completely soaked the plain white t shirt, but Reed could give one shit. “I did it. I did it for me.” She tried to convince herself. It was the only logical excuse for her actions. “I’ll be okay.” KinZu’s chest caved in and then shot out as she sobbed, uncontrollably.

“You did this for you.” Reed rubbed her back. “You’ll be okay.” Reed cried for her broken heart, the broken heart of Keem, KinZu’s bleeding heart, and the loss ones. “We have to go.” She lifted KinZu’s chin. “It’s going to be okay.” Reed coached. “We’ll be just fine.”

KinZu and Reed walked out of the clinic hand in hand. They were both battered and bruised emotionally, but they were determined to move forward. As long as they had each other, they couldn’t go wrong. The healing process would be long and hard, but it wasn’t impossible. Together, they’d rise above everything that had been thrown in their path.

13

The morning after was usually the worst, and both KinZu and Reed were feeling the effects of the heartache that they’d both experienced the day prior. The pounding of Reed’s head caused her to pull her covers far beyond the high bun that she’d placed her hair in just last night. KinZu, on the other hand, stared at the ceiling above her bed as she pictured a life with twins.

For the entire night, KinZu had cried in Reed’s arms. Luckily for Reed, she’d been able to stop the tears at one point or another. Her hurt was still heavy, but she was all cried out. Neither of the girls knew that their voices sounded like anymore, because they had become horse before night even fell.

An entire pity party was thrown just in their dorm room. KinZu’s cried were from the soul, while Reed’s were strictly from the heart. Even with pandemonium surrounding she and Keem, she couldn’t help but to wonder what he was doing. Out of habit, she wished that she could reach out to him that morning. Talking to him when she woke up was always her favorite thing to do.

Sighing under the cover, Reed kicked her legs back and forth –frustrated. She was so upset with Keem. He had fucked up her vision, plans, and future with his unfaithfulness. Reed had the right mind to go upstairs and have it out with Danity, but it would solve nothing. Besides, Danity’s loyalty wasn’t to her, Keem’s was. She knew nothing about Danity, so it wasn’t her responsibility to shield or protect her feelings. Reed wasn’t one for drama, anyhow.

Smacking her lips, Reed tried to fight the flow of tears that seemed to be waiting for her break. “Reed, are you okay?” KinZu asked.

“No.” she admitted. “It just hurts.” She folded her arms over her chest.

“I know.” KinZu nodded. “Reed?”

“Yeah?”

“I need a graduation dress. I was thinking that we could go and get me one. Maybe getting out will make us both feel a little better. At least, we won’t think about it as much while we are out.” KinZu suggested. She was willing to do anything to ease her pain, even if only for a second.

“You’re right. Let’s get out of here. My head is throbbing. If I lay any longer, it will explode. I need to get some food in my system as well.” Reed blew out a fresh breath.

“Me too. I could use a bite.”

Twenty minutes later, both Reed and KinZu were dressed. They didn’t bother doing too much with their attire, because neither was up to it. They barely wanted to go out in public, but they knew it was best. Sitting around sulking would only make things worst.

“How are you feeling?” Reed asked KinZu. “Are you sure that you need to be up and out?” She hadn’t thought about the procedure until now.

“It’s completely fine.” KinZu assured here. “Are you ready to go?”

“I am. Let me get my cell and we can head out.”

“Has Keem called?” KinZu asked.

“I don’t know. I blocked his number… All of them.”

“Jonathan called me last night. I didn’t answer, so he texted.”

“Did you let him know about the procedure.”

“I did.”

“And what did he say?”

“He never responded.” KinZu saddened. “I can’t help but to wonder what I ever did to him, Reed. I mean… Why would someone treat a person so unkind? I’ve done nothing to him. The only thing that I’m guilty of is loving him a little too much. That’s it.”

“KinZu, the sad reality to both of our situations is that we didn’t do a thing. As perfect as we are or think that we may be, it just wasn’t enough. They wanted more. Not that we aren’t enough, but they always want more. I’m starting to think that it’s just a man thing. Meek did it to Bella. Roc did it to Kelly.” Reed sighed. “I just don’t want to end up accepting something that hurt me so bad. Like, there is no coming back from the things that Keem and Jonathan has put us through. I mean, do you know how I felt seeing those messages. I wanted to die, KinZu. Anyone that has the power to make me feel that way and DOES, then I don’t need them in my life.”

Reed was completely truthful with her words. “You’re right.” KinZu nodded. “Let’s get out of here.”

“If I was you, I’d block Jonathan’s ass, too!”

“You’re right, I should.”

As Reed walked out of the dormitory, she wanted to scream. Her beating heart was just hitting the alarm on his Maserati as she crept down the sidewalk. Looking around, Reed wondered if he’d be able to catch up to her if she ran back inside. Reed had known that she’d be seeing Keem, but she didn’t expect it to be so soon. She just wasn’t ready. Immediately, the emotions she’d tucked away came pouring in.

“No. Don’t think about it. You’ve got this.” KinZu encouraged. “Remember you said not to let them see you sweat.”

“Sweat? Bitch, I’m about to cry. You can’t use that on me, Kin. This is… It’s way different.” Reed began to become overwhelmed with anxiety as Keem stared at her.

With her head hung, she avoided eye contact. Everything about his demeanor was different. He looked pitiful, sad, and heartbroken –similar to Reed. They both looked pathetic. KinZu’s heart yarned for them to reconcile, but she’d never allow Reed to hear her voice it.

She secretly wanted Reed to recognize the pain that Keem had caused himself by hurting her, put his ass in time out, and then accept her man back. Unlike Jonathan, Keem had the decency to respect Reed and love her properly. Minus his small flaw, they’d had a smudge-less relationship. It was perfection, one that KinZu idolized.

“Again, you’re right. But still, keep this shit tight.”

“Okay.” Reed pulled herself together.

“Reed, can I talk to you for a second.” Even his tone was different. Keem had approached Reed, and caused her feelings to stir.

He sounded so dejected that she wanted to reach out and hug him, pick up his face with her hand, and kiss his full lips. However, she just couldn’t. One part of her was grateful for whatever pain he was feeling. He’d caused her the same. It was only right that he suffered, too.

“It depends on what we’re discussing. Kin and I are headed to handle business, so I don’t have much time.” Reed sighed.

“I won’t be long. You have my word.”

“That doesn’t mean much of nothing these days, Keem.” Reed shrugged, punching Keem right in the gut.

“Ouch. I had that coming. KinZu, can I burrow her for one quick second. Please… Kin, I truly apologize about yesterday. Shit was just…”

“I know how it goes, Keem.” KinZu waved and went to sit on the bench that was furthest away from the couple. She opened her Instagram app and dug through her timeline, tuning Reed and Keem out.

Keem was happy on the inside, just a bit. He’d expected Reed to curse him and tell him to go to hell, but she’d agreed to talk. He was jumping for joy, but also praying that he had the correct words to sooth her broken heart. Knowing that he wouldn’t get many chances, he had to come with it the very first time.

“I appreciate you even talking to me. I’ll just start with that.” Keem spoke first. They’d begin to walk along the sidewalk, making their way to Keem’s car. “Do you mind just sitting in the car while I talk to you?”

“Yeah. I do mind. We can talk outside.” Reed sassed.

“Okay. That will due.” He nodded. “How are you?” he asked once they’d made it to his ride.

Stone faced, Reed couldn’t believe that he’d just asked such a rhetorical question. “As good as I was just yesterday.” She revealed.

“Fuck. Okay. That was the wrong question.” Keem squeezed his eyelids together, trying to find the words to say. “I mean…”

The words just wouldn’t come to mind. Before coming to the campus, he’d practiced what it was that he wanted to say, and thought that he had his shit down pact. However, with Reed looking so beautifully scarred, he was at a loss. Nothing that he’d thought to say would register in that moment. His mind had gone completely blank.

“If you’re coming to apologize, there is no need to. I can see it in your eyes, your demeanor, your missing smile, the absent glow, and just everything about you says that you’re sorry. However, you being sorry changes nothing Keem. My heart still aches…” Reed stopped, attempting to hold back her tears. “I still can’t do anything but imagine you with her.” she hated to even say it. “And what you guys have.”

“Had. Reed, we aren’t about to have shit. I’m marching right up them steps and putting a stop to that shit. I should’ve never started. I was just a fucking nut, yo! Ain’t none of that shit meant to me what you do. That’s dead, Reed. Done!” Keem stressed.

“And it still doesn’t change anything Keem. Had I not seen what I did, I’d still be walking around here thinking that you’re this perfect guy. You’re nothing like the rest, but…”

“I’m not! I’m not like them dudes. I’m solid. All day. Everyday. I did that dumb ass shit, but don’t dare compare me to them Reed. You know I ain’t like that.”

“I don’t know you as much as I thought I did, Keem.” Reed crossed her arms over her breast, lowering her head.

“You do know me, Reed. Don’t say that, you. Don’t fucking do that to me. You know me. Aight?” he asked. Reed didn’t respond. “Listen, I ain’t come to get you worked up, or nothing. I just wanted to send you my deepest and sincerest apology. I ain’t sleep one wink last night. Yeah, I hurt you… and that shit made me hurt my motherfucking self. I’m fucked up out her, yo. I couldn’t even fucking eat.” Keem had never used so much profanity in his life. “I can hardly even think. I feel like I’m missing out here. When you walked out of that door, you took half of me with you. I ain’t that nigga out here without you, Reed. I’m not shit.” He expressed. “I know you need your space and your time, but come home to a nigga when it’s all said and done. Can you just come back to a nigga and grace him with your space? I need that, yo!” Keem waited for an answer, but all he got was tears.

Grabbing Reed into a hug, he placed his hand on top of her bun. Pushing her face into the space between his neck and chin, he spoke his truth, “You’re the only girl in the world for me. We have to make this work. Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it. Just tell me, yo. Don’t leave me out here to rot.”

It was baffling as to how Keem was the problem, but he was also the solution. Reed didn’t understand how the same person that had caused her pain was the only one who had the power to take it away. As much as she wished that she could forget about his existence, she craved it. More than anything, she wanted him to remove the strain that he’d put on their relationship, erasing the past 24 hours of her life. Reed needed for everything to go back to the way that it was just two days ago. The night that she’d given him herself, wholeheartedly.

“I have to go.” Reed whispered to Keem.

“Please. Just another minute.” He pleaded.

“I have to go.” Reed couldn’t take it anymore.

“Can you take my number off of the blocked list?” he stepped back and allowed her to get herself together.

“You’re asking too much of me. I need my space. You made your decision. It left us here, at nothing. Deal with it Keem.”

“I’m fucking dealing with it. What do you think I’m doing, having a fucking parade because you’re gone? I’m miserable.” He gritted his teeth. “Just… Just think about it Reed. Sorry for getting you worked up. When it’s all said and done, just remember that I won’t stop until you’re back where you belong. I can’t. Your absence won’t allow it.”

With that, Keem got into his car and peeled off. Reed was frozen in time, allowing his words to set with her. She was aware that he would stop at nothing to get her back, but she needed him to chill. He’d chosen his own fate, and now he had to deal with it. All of the sobbing and shouting in the world wasn’t going to mend her broken heart.

“You ready to go?” KinZu asked, Reed hadn’t even heard her come up.

“Yeah.” Reed nodded.

“Bella, here, can you take mine and Kin’s picture?” Reed attempted to hand Bella her cell.

Their graduation had just concluded, and the clan was all in attendance. Everyone was proud of the girls, because they’d done exactly what they set out to do. As promised to herself, Reed was named valedictorian.

“I’m not the designated picture taker.” Bella turned up her nose. “I’m tired.”

“You’ve only taken three pictures. How are you tired?” Reed asked, rolling her eyes at Bella. She was being so bratty.

“I’ll take it.”

Reed’s heart cried at the sound of sadness and dejection that Keem’s voice displayed. He’d been present the entire graduation, but hadn’t said much to Reed. Being that it was her day, he didn’t want to cause any friction. However, he wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

As nasty as their breakup was, Reed was expecting RaKeem’s presence at the graduation. Had he not been there, she would’ve been devastated. Even with him playing the background, his presence was felt. Distress lingered with Reed, but she wouldn’t let it consume her on such a special day. KinZu felt the exact same way. She’d avoided Jonathan during their entire graduation, and he was apart of the graduating class.