Your Exception (20 page)

“Your what?”

“Never mind.”

I don’t mention the stalking or anything I feel might upset him. This conversation is going surprisingly well. He doesn’t look good and seems to be in a state of turmoil right now, but hopefully nothing he can’t get past. He sits quietly, not saying a word.

“Are you okay?”

He looks at me, eyes starting to blaze. “What do you think?” he shouts as he stands up. “Do I look like I’m okay to you? You wrecked my life!” he yells.

“I didn’t wreck anything. You made the decision to cheat on me. You. This needs to stop,” I snap back before catching myself. I need to watch it. He’s gone crazy, and this is not the time to retaliate. I need to think and be smart about my decisions. This moment has turned into survival mode.

“I can’t let you leave me again!”

“Alec, calm down. I thought you wanted to talk.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Sit down,” I say gently.

He slams his body down on the couch next to me. Tears well up in his eyes.

“Alec, I think you need some help. You’re not acting like yourself. What’s happened to you?”

“I’m lost.”

This crazy person is not the strong man I once knew. I’ve been home for about thirty minutes
, and this conversation has gone nowhere. I just want him out of here. I need to call the cops. I can’t trust that he won’t hurt me. The last thing I want is to hurt him or get him in trouble, but he’s lost it. I need to make a break for my purse. I need my phone and my gun.

“Want something to drink?” I ask him.

“Do you have any beer?”

“I’m sure Cassidy has some in the fridge,” I say, smiling.

I walk to the fridge, stepping over my purse, and grab a beer. Opening it for him, I bring it over. As he takes a sip, I sprint to my purse. I grab it just as I feel him tackle me to the ground. My head slams into the floor, but I still have my purse in my hands.

“You stupid bitch!” he growls at me. I desperately try to reach into my purse as he tries to pry it out of my hands. My knuckle touches the cool metal
, and I curl my fingers around it. As he rips my purse away and takes a step back, I bring the gun to his face.

He looks at me. No reaction.

“Back the fuck up,” I demand. He takes a step back. “Farther!” I yell. He takes another step back. He has my phone in that purse. What do I do now?

“Drop my purse and go sit on the couch.” He moves to the living room, purse in hand. “I said drop my purse, Alec!”

“Why? So you can call the cops? You aren’t going to shoot me. It’s probably not even loaded.”

“Oh it’s loaded all right, and there’s no safety on this either.” Which is true, except there isn’t a bullet in the chamber. It has a long trigger-pull
, and I keep it in a sleeve. “I will shoot you if I have to. Don’t make me. Now give me my fucking purse! Wouldn’t you rather go to jail instead of getting shot?”

“No
, because you won’t shoot me.”

“Look at me. I will fucking shoot you. Either give me my purse so I can call the police, or get the fuck out of my house and start running.”

He stands, drops my purse on the floor and starts making his way to the door that’s in between us. I pull the lever back, putting a bullet in the chamber. I should have done it already, but I can’t shoot someone unless it’s life threatening. I learned in my class that if you shoot someone in the arm or leg, then there was no reason to shoot them at all. You shoot only if life threatening, and then you shoot to kill. And I don’t want to kill anyone. Especially not Alec.

He opens the door and looks at me. “You know I’ll find you again.”

“Go.”

He walks out
, and I hear him clamber down the steps. I run for my purse and dial 911. As I give them my address and explain what had happened, I hear a noise outside. I look through the blinds and can’t see anything, but I hear voices shouting. I tell the operator that someone is fighting and to hurry, then I drop the phone and run outside in my socks, gun still in hand. I almost die when I see Zach’s truck parked outside. I see two dark figures rolling around on the ground, and know one of them is Zach. What is he doing here? I scream for them to stop, and get as close as I dare. I can’t make out who is who even with the porch light on.

“Please. Please, Alec!” I plead through my sobs. “Just let him go. Let him go!”

I’ve never felt so useless in my entire life as I feel in this moment. My heart goes out to Zach, who hasn’t done anything wrong and doesn’t deserve this.

The soft snowflakes fall delicately onto them as they fight. After what seems like
an eternity of me screaming at them, I hear sirens and eventually see the flashing lights. Officers break them up and separate them, and I rush to Zach’s side and watch as they arrest a bloody Alec and place him into the back of a squad car. They put Zach in the back of an ambulance that had pulled up after the cops, and clean him up. I sit next to him, covered in a blanket as I watch him get several stitches above his eyebrow.

Zach texted me when he got home. I never answered, so he tried calling me, and when I still didn’t answer, he drove over. He was about to climb the steps when Alec jumped on him, bringing him to the ground.

I look over Zach’s already bruising face, and I cry some more. His beautiful face. He wraps his arm around me until we’re free to go inside. We sit on the couch, wrapped in a blanket as he holds me. I cry while apologizing to him as he rubs my back, assuring me that he’s fine.

“Should I get you some ice? Are you thirsty?”

“I’m fine.”

“I can’t believe you came back for me.”

“Of course I did. I was worried about you. I expected the worst, but I was caught off guard when I saw him leaving your house.”

“You’re the greatest person I’ve ever met, Zachary.”

“Well, I love you.”

I freeze.

“It’s true. I’ve loved you for a long time. I’d do anything for you. Even fight in your honor,” he attempts to joke.

I still don’t look up at him. What do I say? I don’t even know how I feel. My mind is racing from everything that happened tonight, and I don’t know if I love him back. How could I not love perfect Zach who just got the shit beat out of him for me?
My close friend and confidant.

“You don’t have to say anything. It’s been a long night.
I didn’t mean to tell you like this, after such unfortunate events, but I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but I don’t care anymore. I only care about you,” he says, still holding me.

I look up at his broken face. I’d kiss him right now,
even if it gave him the wrong impression. He deserves a kiss, but he also deserves so much more than that. More than I can give. Fresh tears fall from my eyes.

“I don’t feel the same,” I say with sadness. “I’m so sorry, Zachary. I want to. I wish I did. Things would be so easy with you. They’d be flawless and uncomplicated.”

A tear escapes his swollen eye, making its way down his precious cheek.

“I’m so sorry. I love you. I do. Just not
in the same way.”

He nods his head and brushes the tear away. He puts my head into his chest and continues to hold me. Holding on to what was lost forever, and what will never be the same again.

It takes a month before the nightmares cease. It was hard seeing Alec go through his issues. I wouldn’t wish anything like that on my worst enemy. I never thought it would escalate into that, but it did.

And Zach, well, I don’t think I’ll ever get over the image of him getting hit and then watching his heart break. We don’t talk. We’re pleasant, but he’s distant. Things will never be the same, and I don’t blame him. He confessed his love, and I turned him down.

My family has been over to see me, to make sure I’m okay and not too unhinged, but I’m fine. Really. I just want to move on from all the events that have happened in the last seven months. Of course, there’s still that one big event I can’t seem to get over, that overshadows everything.

Logan.

I still think about him. He still invades my dreams, breaks through my nightmares and gives me a moment of peace. I still have lingering feelings for him. Judge me all you want, it’s the truth. Yes, I should have been over his ass long ago, but I’m still tethered to him somehow. It’s a process, but I’m letting go.

Christmas was a big event with all the family getting together. Even Cassidy was invited to my parents’ house to celebrate. No one mentioned Alec; it was like it never happened. We all hung out and had a good time sharing stories, delicious dishes, and presents. It was
exactly
what I needed. I felt the joy and cheer of being surrounded by my loved ones, though I couldn’t help but wish I had a special someone there next to me. I had Cassidy, but she doesn’t count.

Jen has made a bigger appearance in my life. I think she felt bad for me after the whole situation, and came over to see me. I’ve been attempting to feel unconcerned and go hang out at the bar with my people. I’ve met so many amazing people there, and I’ve now started embracing their company. It helps knowing Alec is behind bars and will be away for a long time. I have only seen Kate or Holly when a band is playing. Logan too. I ignore the girls, but not Logan. I feel sadness when I see him, thinking of what could have been, and I will never know.

I’m moving on. I’m not quite there yet, but I will be.

The New Year is rapidly approaching. The night before, I’m in Cassidy’s room with her as she’s trying on her outfit that looks more like a swimsuit than anything.

“You do realize there’s several feet of snow out there, right?” I ask her.

“We’re going to be inside, and I’ll have a coat with me.”

“Right, okay. You’re going to freeze.”

“Not if I have enough alcohol in me.”

“Good point.”

“I’ll probably be hungover until Monday. So who are you going to kiss tonight?” Cassidy asks.

“Oh, don’t say that. I’m not going to kiss anyone, and I don’t want anyone to kiss me.” Now I’m worried she’ll seek someone out and pay them to come and kiss me, thinking that’s what I need. “Maybe I should stay home,” I fret.

“You are not staying home.”

“I really couldn’t care less about New Year’s Eve. I mean, a new year is exciting and all, but it’s not an important holiday to me. I’m excited just to have an extra couple of days off work.”

“It’s nice having it in the middle of the week. For you. I still have to work.”

“Not every night, and the shop is slow, so I’m glad I took the next couple of days off so I have a long weekend. Plus, we’re going to have some fun, right? The bar always has something going on this time of year.”

“We’ll have fun, I promise. How is work going
, by the way? Is it any better with Zach?”

“It’s going. He’s still very distant and keeps the talk to a minimum and strictly work related. I hope we can eventually get past this and be friends again. I need him in my life. It kills me to see him look at me differently, or not at all…”

“He just needs time. He’ll come around.”

“I hope so.”

“Want me to help you pick something out for tomorrow night?”

“Not if it looks anything remotely close to what you’re going to wear.”

She looks offended. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

I laugh. “Really?” She still looks confused. “Neve
r mind,” I say shaking my head.

***
**

After my last day of work before the holiday, I go home and take a nap. When I wake up, Cassidy and I get busy fixing our hair and makeup. I strongly consider staying home because I don’t want to kiss anyone, and I don’t want to look awkward standing there alone while everyone else kisses. This is one of the things about being single that sucks. Being left out. But on the other hand, I get to dance, meet new people, and flirt with whomever I want.

I wear my new teal and black lace cocktail dress that Cassidy had forced me to buy. It has more cleavage than anything I’ve ever worn in my life, and I wear a chunky black necklace to hide what I can while throwing on a black sweater too. She does my hair in a side-swept bun with curly tendrils hanging down from the bun and the sides of my face. She adds a cute, black lacy clip to the side to top it off. It’s unlike anything I can do. A ponytail or messy bun is about as talented as I get with my hair. I’m thankful for the curls…most days.

I pull on my black pea coat and grab my purse before running out to my car as fast as I can
. I start the car, and cold air shoots out from the vents as it slowly, and I mean
very slowly
, warms up. I should have just made the extra trip to warm the damn thing up. I freeze while I sit and wait for Cassidy to drag herself out of the house.

“Hurry up, Cassidy,” I say out loud to myself. She finally opens the door and locks it before cautiously making her way down the stairs and attempting to tiptoe into the footprints I had just made.