Your To Take - Connaghers 03 (16 page)

It was all he could do not to fall at her feet and throw his
arms around her legs.

Take me now. Please, please, make me yours.

On the way back to her home, he kept a firm grip on his
emotions. She’d claimed him in public, even to her old friends. She’d claimed
him on television with Elias at her back. The only thing that remained was her
bed.

He couldn’t stand the wait, the agony, the endless need, but
he had no choice. In truth, he wouldn’t have it any other way, but that sure as
hell didn’t make the need any less. She’d given him everything. The least he
could do was wait until she was ready.

Silently, he resolved over and over not to say a word
tonight. Yes, Elias had left and would probably not come home tonight. It’d be
the perfect time for Jesse to put a move on her and hope she would take him all
the way this time. But he couldn’t do that to her.

He walked her upstairs but stood in the door without
entering her apartment. She talked nonstop, giddy over how much her design
she’d donated had gone for at auction and how much buzz the commercials had
generated. Jesse just watched, drinking in her joy and energy, while every
muscle ached.

She finally noticed that he still stood in the door. “Come
in, silly. Let’s celebrate. Do you want a beer? A glass of wine?”

Whatever weak determination she might have seen on his face
was lost as soon as she took his hand. He followed her inside like a lamb to
slaughter. “Whatever you’re having would be great.”

She laughed softly and stepped closer, inviting his arms to
come around her while her own wound around his neck. She dropped her head
against his shoulder and his heart skipped, stumbling along to a rapid thunder
of hope and dread, both. So close. If she turned him away again…

“I already had two glasses of champagne at the party. I
don’t want any more alcohol.”

“Okay,” he murmured, trying not to let his voice thrum with
need.

“I just want…” Slowly, she lifted her head and gazed into
his eyes. “You.”

Every muscle in his body went ramrod straight. He shook with
tension. Surely he hadn’t heard her correctly. “Are you drunk?”

Laughter spluttered out of her and she tightened her arms
around his neck. “No. Just ridiculously happy. I’m tired of being miserable and
doubting myself, Jesse. I know what I want, and that’s you, tonight, in my
bed.”

“Elias—”

She arched a brow at him as if to say,
Do you honestly
want to talk about him right now?
“He knows, Jesse. I’ll deal with the
fallout. I’ve been nothing but honest with you both. I waited to be sure, and I
know. I know in my heart that I need you. I need you now, tonight, every night.
My only question is what do you need?”

“You,” he replied immediately, swallowing back the tumbling
words of desperation and hope and love tearing his stomach apart. “Whatever you
want.”

“No. This isn’t about me. This is about you. The only thing
I need is to know exactly what
you
need tonight.”

He closed his eyes, trying to hold back the emotion and
desperation tearing him up. She’d be horrified if she saw that ragged, dark
need in his eyes, an endless black hole that could never be satisfied. Not for
long, he feared. She might take the edge off, but he’d always need more, need
her to go further, take him harder, longer.

I can’t ask for too much—she might send me away. I’ll die
if she sends me away.

“Jesse,” she whispered, stroking his cheeks with her
fingers. Her breath fluttered on his throat. Her body heat radiated against
him, solid and warm after the coldness of the street. But it was the light in
her eyes that drew his heart toward her. “Don’t be afraid to tell me what you
need.”

His eyes burned with hot guilt and shame. He trembled but
couldn’t utter a word. This gentle side of hers moved him as much as the
commanding, confident side. Perhaps more, because it was so precious and rare.

“I can take it. Whatever you want, I promise I won’t let you
down. I’ll see that you get it. Don’t you trust me?”

“I do.” He panted, trying to hold back the fierce surge of
need threatening to bare his soul. “I trust you. I love you, Vicki.”

“Then trust me to take care of you.” She cupped his face in
both hands firmly, digging her fingers into his cheeks to make sure he met her
gaze. “Tell me what you need most of all. When you lie downstairs in your bed
and think about me, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to tie you up?”

“No, not really. It’s fine if you want—”

She squeezed harder, a warning. “Do you need me to hurt you?
I don’t have any equipment. I can call Mal if there’s something specific you
think we need.”

“No! God, no, don’t, please. I just…” He took a deep breath
and squeezed his eyes shut so he wouldn’t have to see her reaction. “Fuck me,
use me, take me over and over whether I want it or not. I do, I promise, but I
don’t want to have a choice. Make me raw, make me groan and beg, make me plead
for you to stop even when I don’t want you to. Make me climax so hard I pass
out. I don’t care. Just fuck me. Please.”

Trembling, he waited, dreading every moment of silence and
hating himself for his cowardice. He should have kept his eyes open. He should
have seen the fleeting emotions in her eyes so he’d be prepared, instead of
standing here dumb and blind.
I’d know if I should leave tonight or sneak
away tomorrow morning.

She gripped his ponytail hard, jerking him slightly up on
his toes. Hair pulled, bringing tears to his eyes, and she yanked the holder
out. “When you’re in my bed, I want your hair loose and you naked.”

His ears roared and he swayed slightly, settling back down
on his heels. Words, questions tumbled in his head and he finally pried his
eyes open. She smiled, a hard, cold, smile of gleaming teeth that made the hair
crawl at the base of his neck even while his erection surged against his pants.

“Get busy.”

He jerked his pants open and his fingers flew over the
buttons of his shirt. “Yes, ma’am.”

Chapter Seventeen

She tried to wait until he was actually in her bed. The
sight of his gorgeous ass hurrying before her toward her bedroom, compounded by
the fire in his eyes every time he looked back over his shoulder at her, made
her tight and swollen with need. She’d been denying them so long, too long,
ridiculously afraid, and of what? Wanting him too much? Loving him too much?

He had to pause his headlong rush toward her bedroom to bend
down and work his shoe out of the jumbled material of his pants. As soon as he
straightened, she slammed him against the bedroom wall just as Elias had done
to him that first night. Jesse went eagerly, even though he outweighed her. He
could have pushed her off or told her to stop, but she knew he wouldn’t. That
was his appeal…and his danger.

He’ll never tell me to stop.

He wanted to be taken however she wanted without her
stopping to get his consent. That’s what he wanted most of all. The weight of
responsibility settled around her heart so thickly that she couldn’t breathe.
He’d never tell her no, even if she was hurting him. In fact, he wanted to be hurt,
if she was the one doing it.

Sensing her hesitation, he whispered, “I know you won’t
really hurt me.”

She pressed her face against his back and tightened her arms
around him. “I hope so.”

“If I’m ever really scared, I’ll tell you.”

Would he? He said he wanted to beg. He wanted her to use him
coldly and selfishly to please herself.

“How about I call you ‘Beulah Virginia’ when I need you to
stop?”

She couldn’t help the startled snort that escaped her.
“Yeah, that would work. I’ll jump up and look around for Mama.”

“Your mama scares the shit out of me.”

Her throat tightened, but she refused to let that old regret
and pain tarnish this moment with Jesse. “Yeah, me too.”

“Mal scares the shit out of me too. But you don’t, Vicki.”

An odd sort of peace flowed over her, as though someone had
wrapped her up in a warm, cozy blanket and tucked her into bed with a
fairytale. He wanted her to do her worst to him, yet he wasn’t afraid of her.
Blinking suddenly hot eyes, she wrapped her hand around his cock and nuzzled his
neck. “Let’s see what we can do about that, then.”

She licked and bit his neck until he sagged against the
wall. His breathing was loud in the silence between them. The harder she bit
him, the more he slipped and shivered against her. She went to her knees and
gripped his ass cheeks, squeezing and kneading. His thighs trembled and he
groaned at the feel of her breath against his skin. The hard, rounded muscle
filled her hands and refused to yield to her teeth, giving her a nice mouthful
to grip and torment.

“Vicki, please!”

She released the bite and leaned back to trace the
indentation of her teeth with her fingers. “Maybe you want to roll over then.”

He did, immediately, which shocked the hell out of her
despite everything she’d learned and done with him already. She’d never known a
man who’d offer his private bits to a bite-hungry woman, even if she was on her
knees. Elias would only let her have her way with him once they’d both burned
off some of the fire.

Jesse pressed his back against the wall and widened his
stance like he’d need to brace himself for whatever she’d do, but by God, he
was going to take it. And enjoy it. Even if it killed him.

Holding her breath, she leaned in close and brushed her
cheek against the satin steel of his erection. He let out a shaking sigh and
instinctively rocked his hips toward her. She gripped his thighs above his
knees, his muscles trembling. Such a turn on. Yet she lingered, making herself
wait. She rubbed her hair against him and brushed her mouth against his inner thigh,
but she didn’t bite.

His breathing grew louder, more labored, his thighs shaking
beneath her hands. He could have gripped her head and thrust himself deep into
her mouth, but he didn’t. Not Jesse. It wasn’t in him to take what he wanted.

He wanted to be
taken
.

She turned her head and snagged his cock in her mouth
lengthwise. Gripping him in her teeth firmly, she let a low growl rumble her
lips and gave him a little shake like a dog with a bone in its mouth. Releasing
him, she looked up at his face. His mouth hung open, sweat streaked his cheeks,
and his eyes were closed, but his entire body was loose and relaxed against the
wall, barely holding his weight upright.

So beautiful. It hurt her heart to look at him, so open,
willing and honest, ready to do whatever she asked. She’d never felt this out
of control and yet solemn at the same time. He hadn’t touched her, but she was
hot and slick, more than ready to feel him thrusting deep. Her nipples were so
hard her breasts ached.

The thought of his mouth on her made her shudder. She’d
explode.

She licked just the tip and he jolted, his eyes flying open
to latch onto hers. “Whose cock is this?”

“Yours,” he replied without hesitation.

She stood, fighting back her own desire. She wanted to drag
him down to the floor and ride him until he screamed. Turning away, she closed
her eyes and took a deep breath. Another. They’d never have another first time
together. She wanted to make it last as long as possible, to give him
everything she could possibly give. After the way he’d nearly come just from
smelling her pillow, he deserved better than the floor.

Still, it felt so strange to leave him standing against the
wall. She’d put him there and hadn’t told him to follow or join her, so he
waited. His entire body seemed tuned to her, listening with more than his ears,
waiting, hoping, praying for her next command.

Jumpy and needy, her skin felt like it was going to crawl
off her body. Making herself wait, though, seemed to help calm the ravenous
beast down a little. She slipped out of the dress and carefully draped it over
a chair. It’d wait a few hours to hang properly.

At the edge of her bed, she turned to face him and slowly
removed her panties and hose. She’d gone all out and picked up some lace-edged
thigh-highs. When she’d ordered them online, she’d pictured tormenting Elias,
but the heat in Jesse’s eyes made her glad. Glad that she’d bought them, glad
that he was here. She missed Elias and she didn’t want to lose him again, but
Jesse deserved a night with her full, undivided attention. What they worked out
long term would include both men.
I hope.

Scooting back on the mattress, she fluffed up her pillow and
reclined back against the headboard. Still braced against the wall, Jesse
looked like he was ready to pounce, instead of melting into a steaming puddle
on the floor. Letting a smile curve her lips, she trailed her fingers over her
belly, watching him. His eyes flared and he licked his lips, but he didn’t
leave his spot.

“Is there something here you want?”

He gave her a jerky nod.

“Something’s missing.” She trailed her fingers lower,
teasing herself as much as him. God, she was sopping wet. “I need something
right here.” She let her head tilt back and opened her legs wider, giving him a
good view. “I need you.”

Before she could draw another breath, he was there, sliding
up between her thighs, his mouth finding her fingers. He sucked them into his
mouth and groaned, stroking with his tongue until she pulled her hand away and
threaded her fingers in his hair. Watching his face, she tightened her grip
until his eyelids fluttered. His pulse beat frantically in the side of his neck
and his breath panted against her heated skin.

“I’m going to show you exactly where I want you.” She gave a
firm tug, drawing another groan from his lips. “Nothing but your mouth can
touch me right now. Understand?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

With a twist of her wrist, she jerked his head to the side.
“Vicki.”

He shuddered. “Vicki, yes, please.”

When she’d first brought him here, she’d envisioned the
slow, torturous glide of his tongue, but now, it was too late. Too much playing
for them both, too much waiting, too much needing. Without another word, she
dragged his head down and lifted her hips, grinding against his mouth, his
chin, using the stubble on his cheeks to send herself spiraling. He still
managed to sink his tongue into her and she cried out, pressing him harder
against her.

The climax rocked through her, winding muscles tighter until
her bones ached, her toes curled, and her heart thudded so hard she could hear
the thunder of her pulse echoing in her head. Endless pleasure coursed through
her, sending her higher, longer, until she couldn’t stand it. She tried to pull
his mouth away, but he resisted, digging his tongue deeper into her until she
screamed his name. Only then did he rise up and gasp for air. “That’s what I
needed to hear.”

She dragged him up her body, wrapping her arms and legs
around him. He slid inside effortlessly, without fumbling or hesitation, and
she locked him against her heart. He simply lay against her, his only movement
the slight shifting as he breathed and the tremor in his shoulders. Only when
she felt the dampness on her cheeks did she realize he was crying.

“Jesse?” Horrified, she cupped his cheeks, lifting his face
so she could search his eyes. “Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?”

“I’m home,” he whispered, and the smile he gave her turned
her heart inside out. “I’ve never had a home until you.”

“I don’t want you to leave. Ever.”

He smiled again, boyish and sweet but also sensual. The heat
blazing in his eyes had nothing of innocence. “Is that an order, ma’am?”

“Yes.” She pulled him down so she could brush her mouth over
his lips, nibbling softly. “And my next order…” She hesitated, loving the way
his eyes sparked. His muscles tensed, ready and willing to do whatever she told
him. She’d never known such power, nor felt such tenderness welling in her
heart. “Make love to me.”

He braced his elbows on either side of her and shifted his
weight. Not exactly a thrust, but he moved inside her, stroking ever so
slightly, but it was enough to make her moan. He moved again, his mouth
caressing hers. When he cried out her name, this time she was the one crying.

After seeing a body—in tonight’s case, three victims—lying
in the street, Elias always thought about Donnie, his partner in justice for
almost ten years. He’d always envied Donnie’s family. When the cases were
horrible and the violence and antipathy bore down too hard, Donnie had gone
home to his wife. She’d always known when he’d had an especially bad night.
Without saying a word, she’d simply wrapped her arms around him and held him
tight.

Elias had imagined she’d guided her husband up to their bed
and they’d simply lain there in the night, holding each other. In the months
since he’d broken up with Vicki, he’d ached to come home to her and wrap her up
in his arms. God, he’d ached to just hold her and feel her hold him back. To
know that someone outside of the police force cared whether he came home or
not.

He wasn’t surprised to find her apartment silent when he
unlocked her door at six o’clock in the morning. She’d never been a morning
person, and he figured she hadn’t gotten home until late after the gala anyway.
At that thought, he winced. He’d meant to pick up some flowers or something to
make up for having to leave before her show, but he’d totally forgotten. All
he’d wanted to do was come home, slip into bed beside her…

Frozen, he stared at the rumpled sheets. Her bare thigh
entwined with two muscular legs. Her hand cupped a buttock, holding another man
close.

Another man. Jesse. She’d done it.

Dizzy, Elias listed to the side and half fell against the
doorjamb. He propped himself up and tried to think. To calm down the predator
side of him rearing up and showing those ugly teeth. He’d known this day would
come. She’d warned him. He’d warned himself every time he saw the way she
looked at the kid. Yet he couldn’t help but wonder if she’d decided to punish
him for leaving early last night. It made perfect sense in a cold-hearted,
vengeful sort of way. He’d bailed on her once again, and to pay him back, she’d
come home and dragged her cabana boy into her bed.

Rage bubbled and sizzled in his mind, eating away at his
control like acid. His right hand automatically reached for his weapon on his
hip, like he’d just pulled over a known drug lord for speeding. His fingers
itched to pull the trigger. On her. On Jesse. Hell, on himself. Thank God he’d
already locked his gun in the safe from habit.

Payback’s a bitch.

His hand hurt, forcing him to shake out the fist aching to
pound that handsome young face into a bloody pulp. He must have made a noise or
maybe it was just her sense of self-preservation that woke her up. Sleepy-eyed,
hair tousled, she looked so damned gorgeous he wanted to slam her flat on her
back and fuck her senseless, even though she’d taken another man into her bed.

“Elias,” she whispered.

Her eyes went wide. She carefully untangled her limbs from
the greedy little bastard lying beside her. Damned idiot should have been dead
already. How had he’d ever survived the streets by sleeping through the worst
few seconds of danger he could have ever faced?

A snarl twisted Elias’s face.

Hers crumpled. She looked like someone had just torn one of
her beloved brothers limb from limb.

“How dare you look at me like that,” he retorted in a low,
mean voice that he hated. God, he hated sounding like his mean father who’d
thought nothing of beating his family into submission. “You’re the one fucking
another man.”

“Not
any
man. Only Jesse. You know—”

The kid shot upright and grabbed at the blankets like some
shy little virgin.

“Only Jesse,” he mocked. “Only the homeless druggie. Only a
kid five years younger than you who’s fucked more men than women in the last
ten years of his life. Is that what you want, Vik? You want to see me with a
guy?”