You're Not Broken (35 page)

Chapter Twenty Four
Jessa

              A blanket was draped around me. I jumped at the surprise touch of the soft wool. I looked up and saw Rowan as he carefully wrapped the blanket around my shoulders. Afterwards, he left his hands on my shoulders, the warmth of him seeping into me.

              It took a little of the chill off my frozen body.

              The flash of siren lights lit up the still dark early morning. Two ambulances had joined the SWAT van and the multiple cars that were already present. One of the ambulances had armed guards standing by the doors. That was where Myer was. 

              I hadn’t seen him get taken in but apparently he had bled out in the standoff in the warehouse. He had struggled and fought, ignoring the bleeding wound in his shoulder.

              But all of it seemed like a far off echo in my mind. I could hardly to think straight. Myer had been my stalker. And he had been waiting for me even when I had flown to the other side of the country.

              I felt another round of shivers fall down my spine as I remembered the crazed gleam in his eyes as he held up the cleaver. There would’ve been no reasoning with him. He was too far unhinged to have heard anything I said. My body shook violently. I felt like I was going to puke.

              A strong arm wrapped around me, steadying me. “I’m here, Jessa,” a deep voice murmured. I could feel the vibrations of his voice through his chest. “You’re safe.”

              The shivering eased. It seemed as if my body recognized the safety in Rowan’s voice. I looked up and was met with a pair of stormy gray eyes that looked over me carefully, assessing any damage that might’ve been done. Worry lined his face. And a hint of guilt. I saw that too.

              But before I could say anything, Agent Harrison and Todd approached us. Agent Harrison flicked his gaze up at me before looking down but I had seen how thoroughly he had looked over me. He had also wanted to assess me for damage.

              “We heard that you’ve been given the all-clear, Miss Blair,” Agent Harrison said. “No physical damage or wounds.”

              I hadn’t missed the fact that he had distinguished his remark by saying
physical
damage. He was a veteran of the FBI. He knew damages weren’t always just physical.

              An appreciation and gratitude for this man grew within my heart.

              I nodded. “All fine,” I said huskily, my voice a little hoarse from screaming.

              Agent Harrison nodded, his face still set in his permanent frown. “Matthews, why don’t you take Miss Blair to her hotel? Security has already been set up there and the hotel staff are aware of the high alert status we’ve put on Miss Blair.” Agent Harrison held up a hand before I could say anything. “Don’t worry. We didn’t do it because we expect more attacks. We did it because it’s protocol. Also, I don’t doubt that this story can be kept from the media for long. I wouldn’t want an eager reporter trying to sneak up on you.”

              I shuddered at the thought. Normally I’d have no problem brushing off such a person but right now, at the moment, an intrusive reporter sounded like the worst thing ever.

              “There’s a car waiting around the corner,” Agent Harrison said in clear dismissal. “And Miss Blair?”

              I looked up, feeling like I was living in a dream world.

              “We got him,” he said with sincere finality. “We got him.”

              I felt a heaviness ease from my shoulders at his words.

              Agent Todd smiled gently. “Go and get some rest. And know that you are safe.”

              Tears blurred my vision as I nodded.

***

              It felt incredibly odd to be sitting in the beautifully decorated Four Seasons penthouse suite after everything that had happened.

              I had been completely numb on the ride over and even up to entering the suite, I had felt completely removed from my own body. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. I just merely followed Rowan’s lead.

              But now in the room, I had felt unsure as to what I should say or do. Should I tell him I was okay? But I wasn’t. Should I change? I was still wearing blood splattered clothes but I could hardly get my hands to stop shaking to undress.

              But it turned out, I hadn’t needed to worry. As soon as we had entered the suite, Rowan had led me to the couch, gently seating me. Then he had disappeared for a few minutes. When he came back, I heard the quiet sounds of a steamy shower running.

              He had picked me up and carried me into the bathroom. Sitting me on the toilet, he undressed me without a word and then undressed himself. Stepping into the shower with me, he began to carefully wash me. There was no tone of sex in his touch. It was merely loving and gentle.

              He carefully soaped my body, making sure to get every bit of the splattered blood off of me. As he turned me around to soap my back, he kneaded his hard fingers into my shoulders, pushing against the knots that had frozen there. I sighed, feeling each knot slowly disintegrate under his touch.

              With a sure hand, he washed my hair and carefully rinsed it clean of the dirt and blood of the last few hours. Then wrapping a towel around his waist, he pulled me out of the shower, toweling me quickly then wrapping me in the thick white robe the hotel provided.

              Snuggled in the thickness and softness of the robe, he picked me up and carried me into the master bedroom, setting me gently down on the bed.

              I sat quietly for a moment, letting the moment wash over me. I felt warmer and definitely cleaner. I felt less connected to the horror that had touched me several hours ago. I felt more myself again.

              How had he known? How had Rowan known that that was what I needed most—to be clean of the night’s terror? I looked up to ask and caught him walking towards the door.

              “Where are you going?” I asked, my voice immediately an octave higher in panic.

              Rowan turned around in surprise. He picked up a chair that was set against the wall near the door. “To get a seat,” he said. He brought the chair over and set it down in front of me.

              Taking his seat, he looked at me, his gray eyes searching mine before he looked down and sighed as if in defeat. Running his hands over his face, he finally said, “Jessa, I’m sorry.” He winced at his own words as if they sounded lacking even to him. “I know there’s no possible way to explain why I wasn’t there at the airfield tonight. But if you
do
want to hear an explanation, there’s an Agent McGrath of the FBI who’d be more than happy to take your call.”

              I frowned. “Another FBI agent?” I asked. “Are you an FBI agent?” I had always assumed he was just working under the FBI as kind of like a free agent.

              Rowan shook his head. “No,” he said. “But there’s a lot about my past you don’t know.” He looked up suddenly. He grabbed my hand and held it in his. I looked down to see my smaller hand swallowed up in his larger one. “But I’ll tell you all of it if you want to listen. I can tell you all of it now.”

              I shook my head, confused. “I thought…” I said slowly. “I thought you hadn’t wanted to take on all of…
this.
” I gestured at myself. “I know it’s a lot. Photographers, security…stalkers.” I shuddered at the word, remembering Myer. Rowan tightened his hold on my hand. “I would’ve understood.”

              A rough hand brushed against my cheek. It was funny. When Myer had touched me in that same way, it had made my stomach turn. But now, knowing it was Rowan’s hand, I only felt warmth.

              I looked up at those familiar gray eyes. “You’re it for me, Jessa,” Rowan said slowly. “I wanted to protect you, keep you safe, and staying away from me seemed like the safest thing for you. But now….” He shook his head. “Now, it’s all different. Things have changed. For the better. And I want you to know that you are
it
for me, Jessa. There is nothing of you that I can’t take that I don’t already want. And I want all of you. I love you.”

              Any lingering coldness disappeared from my body. A swirl of heat and relief swept through me. The warmth of his eyes, the honesty of his face, the strength of his touch—it all called to me in a way that nearly made me cry.

“I love you too,” I whispered. 

His eyes darkened to charcoal and I could see that he was feeling that same quiet yet deep feeling between us. It was as if our hearts had expanded beyond our bodies and enveloped both of us into a sphere of aching love and desire.

In his hands, I felt safe. In his hands, I felt love. In his hands, I was in a world that only knew beauty and passion and sweetness.

Following pure impulse, I leaned forward and gently kissed him. He responded but when I pulled away, I could see the question in his eyes. I could see he was still worried about me. But I wanted to be in his arms. I wanted to feel him inside me. I only wanted to grow and expand this wonderful feeling that was wrapped around us.

I leaned forward again but this time, I didn’t get to kiss him.
He
kissed
me.
Wrapping an arm around my back he lifted me up and pushed me back onto the bed. He leaned over me, crushing his lips to mine. His tongue explored me with an aching desire that spoke of how true his feelings were.

Fresh out of the shower, we needed no time to undress. His towel fell away and my robe opened up, revealing my warm and slightly damp body.

Keeping his lips still on mine, Rowan pushed open the robe all the way, making sure none of it was in his way. Then abruptly breaking away from our kiss, he slid down and without any warning or precursor, he plunged his hot tongue into my pussy.

I cried out in satisfaction, having his touch so intimately within me. I arched and almost pulled away but Rowan wrapped his arms around my thighs, keeping my hips pinned down.

With long, firm strokes, his tongue teased and tormented my swollen pussy. He swirled his tongue around my clit, lightly brushing over it intermittently till I was writhing in delicious agony.

“Oh my god,” I cried breathlessly. “Please! Please!”

I wasn’t sure exactly what I was saying or what I was even begging for—more delicious torture or sweet final release—but Rowan seemed to understand. He redoubled his efforts and slid his tongue faster and faster down my swollen labia and my engorged clit.

A lava flow of intense ecstasy grew within me, melting my bones, liquefying my muscles. Finally Rowan sucked hard on my clit then gave it a hard, quick flick over with his tongue.

I shattered. I broke apart into a million pieces as pleasure snapped through every nerve ending, washing my body in sheer shuddering release. I cried out, arching my back, unable to handle such mind altering pleasure.

Then before I could regain any semblance of sense, a huge thick cock thrust hard into me, stretching me with such immediateness that I came again. Just the pure sensation of being filled and owned so unexpectedly made my pussy clench and tighten in hungry release.

Rowan leaned over me, his forearms cradling my head. He tenderly kissed my forehead.

I shook my head weakly, completely exhausted from the back to back orgasms. “I can’t, Rowan,” I mumbled. “I can’t do it again.”

Rowan pulled out and thrust back in hard. I moaned, feeling his hard cock fill me completely. “I can’t,” I mumbled again as another wave of intense pleasure struck against me. I could feel every inch of his cock sliding in and out against me. I was completely consumed by his body. His cock inside me, his body around me, his scent, his touch, his breath surround me—I was completely lost in a haze of bodily pleasure and I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to come out.