You're Still the One (11 page)

              Katie rode beside him quietly. So quietly that he could hear the tall grass swish against the horses' bellies. Crows squawked and squirrels chattered in the grove of trees to their left. The fecund smells of horseflesh and leather gave way to the fresher scents of clean air and loamy earth. June sunshine buffed Apple's  coat to spun gold.

              Rick shifted in his saddle to peer into Katie's face. "Hey, are you okay?"

              "I feel badly. I never spoke to them at all after...After."

              "That was between you and me."

              "Your mom probably doesn't see it that way."

              "Probably not," he admitted, "but you weren't engaged to her."

              Her lips twisted. "True."

              "Let it go, Katie. You've got enough to worry about."

              The smile she gave him was so forced that it knotted up his gut. "All right."

              He'd always wanted what his parents had, that sharing partnership, friends and lovers, trust both ways. He thought he 'd found it with Katie, but she'd never been able to fully commit, at least not to him.

              In the barn, drawn by the past and the urge to kiss her senseless, he'd managed to keep his hands to himself. That's what he had to do until they found her crazy sister.

              He thumbed a bead of sweat from his upper lip. Right. No problem.

              The horse was warm and solid beneath her. The fresh air and sunshine should've cleared away the haze of desire, but Katie's body vibrated from Rick's touch. She could still feel the imprint of his hand on her leg, wanted to feel his touch all over. The thought of him touching her, kissing her because he wanted to, not because someone was watching, was not enough to cause a fine sweat to break across her skin.

              How could she go from her anger of less than two hours ago to this craving for him? His words at breakfast echoed in her mind.

             
I think you just couldn't stand to give up some of that responsibility. Because if you did, you'd have to give up the guilt you feel over your mom's death. And if you did give it up, who'd take care of Grace? Who'd be there to mother her? Your mom's death wasn't your fault, Katie.

              She rolled her shoulders. It was unease and not anger that skimmed through her. It was true Katie had stepped in as a mother to her sister when their mom had died; she'd realized that years ago, but who else was going to do it? Katie was responsible for their mom being gone. She was the oldest child; it was her duty.

              She guided her mare around a fallen branch. Her gaze locked on Rick's strong back as he led the way to the creek. The red knit fabric of his polo shirt molded the long muscles in his back, dipped into the ridges between his shoulder blades.

              He glanced and caught her staring at him. His mouth tightened. Looking away, he spoke softly to his mare, and she quickened her step. Katie automatically followed his lead, her gaze shifting to the strong, copper slope of his neck.

              She knew the red shirt covered shoulders that where bronze and broad, shoulders that had sheltered her more than once. By touch alone, she knew her way across those fluid muscles, down the hard arms that had drawn her into their protection countless times.

              She wanted to lay her head against that wide, tempered chest, skim her hands over his iron-hard belly to his narrow waist. His tough, sinewy thighs flexed as he guided his horse up a small incline. One broad hand rested on the faded denim of his thigh; the other hand held the reins loosely.

              As her horse trotted up the hill behind his, Katie forced her gaze from him. His stirrups disappeared in a patch of tall sunflowers. Taking the same path, she spied a sprinkling of wild pink buttercups and a handful of small purple flowers that miraculously missed being trampled by the horses.

              Grace was the reason Katie was with Rick, and he'd made clear he resented that. In the past, that had been more than enough reason for Katie to keep a wall between them.

              His words played again in her mind.

             
Can't let go. Why do you have to take responsibility for everything in your family?

              He looked back, his narrow-eyed gaze colliding with hers, peeling away every defense with  a painless finesse that made her want to surrender her pride, her common sense.

              "Let's race to the creek."

              "Is that fair?" She cleared her throat, annoyed at the huskiness in her voice. "You know the way and I don't"

              "Over these two hills, then swerve right. Apple will get you there."

              "You're on." Without waiting for a cue, she gave her horse a swift kick in the flank, and the mare lunged, muscles bunching. She reach Rick's mare, gathered speed from a canter to a flat-out run. Katie laughed.

              For the first time in three days, she focused only on what was happening at this moment. Learning low over the horse, loving the feel of the wind streaming past her face, Katie urged the mare on. She let the motion carry away all thoughts of Grace, of decisions to be made about her life.

              Beside her, she felt Rick closing in. The ground beneath her shook with the force of this horse's hooves. From the corner of her eye, she saw that he leaned low over his horse's neck gaining speed. Her horse jumped a shallow gully, and she laughed again.

              Rick's laughter rang out, too. He pulled even with her, flashed a wicked grin and passed her.

              "No way!" she yelled, tapping her heels against the mare's flanks. Apple picked up a little speed, her nose coming even with Rick's thigh.

              Both mares swung to the right. A hundred feet ahead, through a clump of pecan trees, the creek shimmered like liquid diamonds. Exhilaration swept through Katie. Rick urged his horse to jump an overturned tree trunk.

              She squeezed her knees tight against the saddle and leaned forward slightly as her mare followed.

              Rick reined up at the edge of the creek a second before she did. He was laughing, his eyes glittering at her in a way that made her senses swim.

              "Show-off." Katie's mare skidded to a stop.

              His mare reared, spun in a fancy pivot. He held his seat easily, his triumphant gaze finding hers. "I even gave you a head start."

              "Don't get cocky, Powell. There's still the race back."

              He slid to the ground and left the reins hanging loosely over his horse's neck, then led the mare to the water's edge.

              When Katie tried to swing one leg over, Apple snorted and bumped against a tree, trapping Katie's leg.

              Leaving his horse, Rick walked over and laid a hand on the mare's nose. Apple immediately quieted, and Katie noted that he'd had the same calming effect on her yesterday at the shooting range.

              She dropped to the ground, then led Apple to the creek. As the horses drank their fill of the clear water, Katie tried to dodge the thought that had teased her all morning.

              Near the water, the bank was firm and rocky. Trees lines each side of the sparkling creek, which snaked as far as Katie could see in both directions, growing wider upstream. The water disappeared around a curve, lost beneath drooping branches and shade, then appeared again glistening in the sunlight.

              "The horses will graze here. Let's walk."

              "Katie immediately fell in with Rick's suggestion and dropped her reins. She followed him up the rise and caught up with him in the shade of an old pecan tree. Sunlight dappled the ground, beaming its way between leaves to make delicate patterns on the knee-high prairie grass.

              He looked into the distance, across acres of rippling grass, greening winter wheat, the occasional stand of blackjack and cottonwood trees. "It's peaceful out here."

              It was peaceful, but tension hummed inside her. Katie knew those shimmering nerves had to do with the man beside her. The man she'd never forgotten. "This was a great idea, Rick. Thanks."

              "You're welcome. I thought it would do us both good. The horses needed it, too. I've only been out twice to ride since my folks have been gone."

              He took off, long legs easily parting the grass.

              Her steps fell in with his, and she observed quietly. "Everything looks great, almost exactly the same. The barn's a different color, I think."

              "Yeah, they decided to repaint with gray instead of red."

              A cool note slid into his voice. "So tell me what you've been doing with yourself, Katie."

              "You already know." She gave her hair a quick finger combing. "I'm a flight attendant."

              "Ten years is a lot of flying. Don't you do other things?"

              "Oh. Sure." She thought for a minute. What did she do?

              "I finally finished college," she offered tentatively, stopping beneath a sprawling oak.

              He stopped, too, looking at her in surprise. Something dark burned in his eyes. "That's great. I knew you would."

              Because of Grace and her stunts, Katie had missed final exams twice. She hadn't been able to complete her credits and graduate with Rick. She'd done so in the months following their breakup, but she hadn't walked across the stage with her class, with him. Until now, she hadn't realized how much she resented missing that.

              Tamping the irritation spiraling inside her, she said, "I was able to help Grace get a job with the day-care center. She's done very well there. She seems to have a real affinity for children." She laughed. "I know, you're going to say it's because she's one herself."

              He reached up, stripped a spring-green oak leaf from its branch. "No, I'm not."

              The wariness she'd noticed this morning still shadowed his eyes, still showed in the way he carried himself. He was careful not to stand too close to her, careful not to look at her too often.

              She knew she'd hurt him years ago. Knew, too, that his parents were justified in being aloof and even angry with her. She didn't want to hurt him again, but she wanted another chance with Rick. She'd dated enough since their breakup to know that guys like him were one in a million. And she'd thrown him away.

              He took off again, moving with fluid grace. She followed, trying to keep at least an arm's length between them. That seemed to be what he wanted. Beneath the shade of a pecan tree, where the grass was short and cropped, he stopped. His shirt sleeves skimmed over biceps that looked as hard as the oak trees around them.

              Water gurgled down the hill. Mockingbirds and whippoorwills scolded and squawked overhead. The scent of freshly trodden grass, the newness of spring drifted in the air.

              She ached to be close to him, but she didn't move. "My dad's still in Norman. He said to tell you hi."

              Rick nodded, a muscle in his jaw flexing. "What else? Don't you have any hobbies?"

              She sensed he was simply making conversation. Something to keep both their minds from the past. Or perhaps Grace. "I'm involved in the city's reading program. I read to an elderly person at the library once a week."

              "Really?"

              "That was one of Grace's community service projects several years ago. She was on probation at college and she had to pick a project. I became interested in it and still enjoy doing it."

              "Do you still water-ski? You were hell on a slalom."

              She smiled. "I haven't done it in years."

              She'd given it up. With her job taking her out of town so much and her spare time spent chasing after Grace, there didn't seem to be time for going to the lake.

              He leaned against the ancient oak tree and propped one booted foot on the truck behind him. "Sounds like you've got a lot going on."

              "Not really. I just run around a lot." She laughed, but it hit her then just how little she did for herself, how much of her time revolved around her sister.

              He'd been right about Grace, Katie realized. About how she couldn't let go of the responsibility she felt for her sister, that she felt for her entire family.

              Dissatisfaction over that had simmered inside her for a long time. For the last year, it had become more insistent, but it was Rick who'd finally forced her to address it.

              Before she could talk herself out of it, she said, "You were right before."

              He turned his head, a slight frown between his brows.

              "About Grace. About how she should be standing on her own two feet. About how my dad has been pushing for that. He has, for quite a few years."

              Rick slowly brought his leg down, straightened. "I shouldn't have said those things. They're none of my business and I do not know there's a reason, Katie."