Yours to Savor (47 page)

“Oh, Brandon,” Sandra murmured.

“Those words confirmed what I had already sensed. I brought my mother to the couch, where she recounted the whole story. My father had been working late. There was a robbery in a convenience store. He was in the area, so even though he was exhausted from working overtime, he took the call anyway.”

Brandon continued, his frustration obvious. “It was such a stupid thing. A small, pitiful, useless thing!” There was heat in Brandon’s voice. “Some junkie looking for his fix stood up the clerk for twenty bucks.
Twenty
dollars. My father arrived just as the crook was leaving, and the sight of an officer must have spooked him. He turned around and fired at my father on the spot. My father tried to shoot back, but the first bullet bit him in the arm.” Brandon’s jaw clenched. “He dropped his gun. But the junkie didn’t run. Fueled by some high, he turned around, and fired shot after shot at my father. Again, and again, and again.”

As Brandon spoke, Sandra found her chest constricting until it was hard to breathe. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

“You shouldn’t be. My father was killed on the spot. He didn’t suffer. There was nothing anyone could have done. But what
I
did when I heard the story was unforgivable.”

“What do you mean, Brandon?” Sandra asked.

“Something snapped inside me when my mother told the story. I became angry. I blamed
her
for pushing my dad to work more. If he hadn’t been working overtime, he would have been home when the robbery took place.” Brandon’s voice became heated. “I was just so mad at her for allowing him to go out into the storm. I yelled and yelled in front of all my brothers and sisters. She just sobbed on the couch. I told her it was her fault, that she was the one to blame for my father’s death. I was consumed by anger. I didn’t realize how much I was hurting her. I wish every day I could take back all the horrible things I said.”

“You were just a child,” Sandra said. “You couldn’t have known.”

“No. I
knew
. I was the one in the wrong. I was the oldest, the responsible one, the one everyone looked up to. But when I finished, my siblings looked at me like I was a stranger. I didn’t know what to do, so I raged out into the night. I ran out on all of them. I wandered the streets until I found myself at the store where my father had been killed. The area was blocked off by police cars and yellow tape. I don’t know what I was doing there,” he admitted. “Maybe I was looking for revenge. Maybe I wanted to take my anger out on the junkie. The guy had been a coward. He turned the gun on himself after he killed my father. All for a lousy twenty bucks. All for a stupid high.”

Brandon continued. “One of the officers recognized me, and I ran off. I didn’t know where to go. I couldn’t go back home. I bounced around from friend to friend for an entire week.”

Brandon’s eyes tightened. “Everything was my fault. I should have been there for my family after my father died. Instead, I abandoned them when they needed me most.”

“You were young,” Sandra said, as gently as she could. “You shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“What I did was
stupid
,” Brandon spat. “It didn’t take long for me to start getting into trouble on the street. My mother found out, and she didn’t know how to deal with it. Too much had happened to her, too much and too quickly for a newly-widowed mother of eight. I came home one day, maybe two weeks after I stormed out, and my mother was there. She screamed at me for staying away, for getting into trouble, for getting arrested. She wanted to know what kind of example I was setting for my brothers and sister. And—this is the worst—I yelled back,
again
. I blamed her
again
. Except this time, she didn’t let me off so easy. She told me I wasn’t welcome in her home anymore. She told me she never wanted to see me again.” He sighed. “It took me a long time to understand that her words were spoken in the heat of the moment. She never meant them, not really. But I took them to heart, and left.”

“What did you do?”

“I went to my grandparents, on my father’s side. They had moved from Italy to Chicago to help take care of the kids when I was about ten, but they’d never really got along with my mother. I don’t know why. They took me in, and housed me until I finished high school and went to university.”

“Have you talked to any of your family since?”

“I saw my brothers sometimes when they came to visit my grandparents. I saw my sisters, too. But the way they looked at me… There was always such
accusation
in their glares. When I graduated high school, I moved away from Chicago. That was the last I saw, or spoke, to any of them. And my mother… well, I haven’t talked to her since that argument that summer night.”

Sandra reached out and touched Brandon’s arm, offering silent empathy.

“But I made a promise to myself when I left. I promised I would be back for my family when I could help them. I swore that when I had enough money, I would support them. I would support my mother, so she would never have to worry again. I promised, so that I could make up, in some small way, for running out on them when they needed me the most.”

“And did you? Sandra asked.

“That’s what I’ve worked my whole life for. That is what all
this
—” Brandon gestured around him, “—is about. All I want,” he admitted quietly, “is to provide for them like an older brother is supposed to.”

“Surely, you must be there now?”

Brandon smiled, but his eyes were still sad. “Almost. I’ve been sending them money through my grandparents for years, but they don’t know it’s from me. My mother would never have accepted it that way. But returning to their lives? I’m still not ready for that. But with you, I feel like I’m getting closer every day.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Thank you, Brandon. For telling me that. For trusting me with your past.”

He smiled, put an arm around her, and brought her close. Sandra understood now why Brandon had been so hesitant to speak of his past. They’d both known tragedy in their lives. Now, with everything out in the open, Sandra felt like their relationship had gotten stronger. Another bond had been formed from their understanding of each other’s suffering. There was nothing left to be said, so she sat quietly in Brandon’s arms for a long time, looking out at the stars and sea, until the gentle ebb of sleep washed over her.

Chapter Thirty-One

Even though the nightmares no longer bothered her, Sandra still had the tendency to wake early. This morning, she found herself huffing alongside Cassie, streaming down the seawall in the crisp dawn air.

Ever since that special date with Robbie a week and a half ago, Cassie had attacked her old goal of losing weight with a newfound vigor. She’d taken up hour-long powerwalks in the morning, combined them with a strict intermittent fasting diet—“
It’s the new latest thing,” she’d told Sandra
. Already, to Sandra at least, Cassie was looking slimmer. But maybe it was more the constant smile on her face and secretive twinkle in her eye that told Sandra that Cassie and Robbie had found that spark in their marriage again.

“You know, I’ve known Brandon for almost a month,” Sandra said. “It’s crazy how fast time flies.”

“A month, hmm?” Cassie mused. “Men tend to be pretty bad with anniversaries. But women… well, you need to do something for the occasion, girl!”

“What do you mean?”

“All this time, he’s been taking you out, showing
you
places, no?” Cassie sneaked a peek at Sandra. “It’s your turn to do something for him.”

“Like what?” Sandra asked, dubious.

Cassie’s eyes widened. “I know! Cook for him!”

“
What
?”

“Oh, men
love
when women do that!” she insisted. “You know that old saying:
The fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach
!” Cassie broke off laughing, and Sandra joined in.

“You know, I think I could do that. Actually, I used to love cooking when I was younger.”

“I know. I remember you telling me about it once.”

Sandra narrowed her eyes. “You really
do
remember every single conversation you’ve ever had, don’t you?”

“It’s a necessity for my occupation,” Cassie winked. “So, do you like my idea?”

“You know, I tried to cook for him in Seattle, but we… kind of got sidetracked.” Sandra blushed and gave a shy smile. “But I don’t think I can do it here. I don’t even have a kitchen in my apartment.”

Cassie gasped and pressed both hands to her cheeks. “Oh my God! I just had the greatest idea ever! Why don’t you use my house?”

“
Your
house?”

“Sure! You haven’t told Brandon where you really live, have you?”

Sandra looked down at her feet. “Well, no…”

“Then he still thinks my place is yours! That’s great!” Cassie beamed. “It’s settled, then. You’ll cook for him at my place.”

“No,” Sandra started. “I can’t impose on you and Robbie like that…”

“Nonsense!” Cassie waved the objection away. “It was my idea, remember? And I won’t take no for an answer.” She nodded. “Robbie’s going to be out of town this weekend fishing with his brother, so it’ll be the perfect time to set something
really
special up. We can go shopping for everything you need together—just you and me. We’ll spruce up my dining room at the same time. And when we’re done, your Space Needle date will be a distant second in Brandon’s mind.”

“Cassie…” Sandra began again, admonishing, but the woman swept right over her.

“And I have just the candles you can use. They’re tall and made of this amazing wax that starts off purple but turns red as it warms up. And they give off the most tantalizing scent! I bought them for me and Robbie before Valentine’s, but he took me to a bed and breakfast instead, completely out of the blue, so I never got a chance to use them. They’ve been gathering dust in my closet ever since. Oh, this is going to be just perfect! We’ll have so much fun setting up.”

“Come on,” hedged Sandra. “Are you really serious?”

“Of course! Why not?” Cassie beamed again, the grin almost splitting her face in two. “Robbie’s not going to be home, and Brandon still thinks you live at my place. I don’t mind. It’ll be an adventure! And I can go sleep over at one of my girlfriends’ house. I haven’t had a slumber party since high school!”

“Look, Cassie, I don’t think I can ever repay you—”

Cassie stopped in front of Sandra, fists on her hips. “Sandra Hawthorne, I won’t have that type of talk out of you. Your friendship is more than enough.” She turned around and started walking again. “Now, I won’t hear another word of protest out of you! I’m just happy to know that I can play some small part in netting you the man of your dreams. Now, we need to start planning for this immediately. In fact, we can start today. We’ll need to buy some wine, and then go shopping for all the food, and then we can get you some…”