Yours Unfaithfully (2 page)

The door slammed leaving Melanie to wonder at what had happened. Was it her fault? It wasn’t like Tim to sound off at her, in all their years together they’d only ever had three or four rows of any importance and Melanie knew she was to blame for most of those. This was different. She wasn’t in control the way she’d always been, this time she’d lost it and upset the most reasonable man in the world. I could go after him, she reasoned, try to make it better? From the look he’d given her as he swept out she knew it would be better to wait for him to calm down.

The kids showed no surprise at having sausage sandwiches for their meal and the idea of spending less time than usual at the table definitely met with their approval.

As Melanie loaded the dishwasher she thought about the meal she’d offered Tim. He was right. She thought how her father would have reacted to her mother in the same situation. Her mother never failed to serve a proper evening meal, which usually meant a full roast dinner and a pudding to follow. I’m not half as good a wife as my mother. I’m a failure as a wife and as a mother. At the sound of the kitchen door she turned, hoping to see Tim but it was Nina, red faced and looking like she’d jumped the fence instead of taking the path from next door.

Every inch a professional, Nina was well respected as a quick thinking talented legal mind, someone not to mess with in matters of law. Fastidious but fair was her reputation. Her home, like her work, was pristine, thanks to Henrietta, the cleaning lady who toiled five days a week to take care of the washing, ironing, cleaning and even the preparation of the food for their evening meal. Henrietta had started the day they moved in and ran the house like it was her own. She gave orders to the children and they did as they were bid rather than incur their mother’s reproach as well. Ben however, was lazy by nature and reckoned the only good thing about work was that it took him out of the house during the hours that Henrietta was there. Nina wasn’t as trim as Melanie, touching on seventy five kilograms but she looked well with no sign of a sagging waistline or a double chin. Her dark hair was regularly and expensively groomed at a salon near her office, as were her nails and her make up. Nina explained that being married to Ben entitled her to be regularly and expensively pampered as this was something at which he was totally inept. He never noticed when her hair was freshly styled or her make up changed. Her expensive designer clothes turned heads whenever she made an entrance, but went completely unnoticed by her husband. Nina had poise and her polished accent was attractive to listen to, but Ben never heard. She knew exactly how to create a favourable impression on clients or on social gatherings but she couldn’t enthuse Ben unless she talked about food, his food. Her statuette body was a tool, a persuasive visual asset as powerful as her arguments, which she could always use to good effect. Her finest asset however, was her wit, sharp as a sword; she could be a feisty lady with a fiery tongue. Melanie saw at once the distress in Nina’s expression.

“What is it Nina? You look terrible, is something wrong?”

“I’ll bloody say something’s wrong, Nina exploded. Him, that’s what’s wrong.”

“I take it we’re talking about Ben?” Melanie said, trying to calm her friend with diplomacy and sympathy at the same time.

“Can you think of anyone else who could get me in this state? Do you know what he’s done now?”

Melanie racked her brain to think what Ben had done yesterday to infuriate Nina. This might give a clue to what he’d done now. Ben was hard work and she only had to cope with him second hand. Ben had lost more jobs in the last three years than anyone could remember. He’d worked in a factory, a supermarket, at the council, briefly, and for several agencies. They in turn had sent him to a factory, a supermarket and the council. At six foot two Ben was taller than Tim and larger around. Everything about Ben was large except his ability to think straight. His laugh was loud, pleasant in short bursts, like his personality, but it never helped in his search for success. At every fork in life’s road Ben would head down the one marked ‘Wrong Way’. He had a knack of choosing the wrong colour, the wrong size or the wrong style. He was invariably in the wrong queue on the wrong day at the wrong time. It was easy to like him, but hard to stay shackled to him for nearly twenty years, as Nina repeatedly reminded him.

“Don’t tell me he’s lost another job Neen?”

“He’s only lost the agency job itself, I mean, did you ever know anyone who couldn’t keep an agency job? Last week they found him a job with a dry cleaner in town, driving the van, delivering laundry to hotels and restaurants. How could he mess that up? He says they gave him the wrong order but the truth is he managed to give away a hundred towels. They probably think he stole them but he’s given them to the wrong hotel. I can’t take much more of him Mel, really I can’t. I spend all day working with intelligent people and then I come home to a no brain!”

Melanie struggled for words to improve Nina’s mood. It wouldn’t help to agree that Ben was a total waste of space. She tried conciliation.

“Perhaps the laundry did get it wrong Neen, after all mistakes do happen, and anyway, as he was new you’d have thought they’d give him another chance, wouldn’t you?”

“They did Mel, this was the second lot he lost in one week. The only mistake is Ben, he’s one big mistake and mine is being married to him.”

“Well if it’s any consolation, Nina, I’m as fed up as you. I’ve had a shit day at work; a terrible drive home and now I’ve had a row with Tim.”

“Sorry Mel, the last thing you needed was me sounding off about Big Ben. Shall I shoot back to mine for a bottle of red? We could empty it before we do anything else.”

“I can’t wait that long, take one off the dresser and let’s get started.’ Melanie managed a smile and they laughed at the prospect of an evening spent downing wine and digesting each other’s news. At first they ranted on about the men they’d walked down the isle with, but once they’d exhausted that subject Nina enthused about her work, extolling the virtues of her colleagues, people who were an escape from Ben. ‘We’ve got a new partner. He left Hoggart, Smith-Adams, a top drawer outfit to join us, which shows how well we’re thought of in Chambers. He’s called Rattani Naziree, specialises in contract law. He’s a real class act, bounding with confidence and with the most wonderful natural tan, looks Mediterranean or maybe Asian, an absolute Adonis. I watched him today and thought I’d hate to be up against him in Court, I reckon he must work out to get a body like that, looks like a cross between Will Smith and Sylvester Stalone. Honestly if I wasn’t a married woman and ten years his senior he’d have serious trouble with me. Mel, he’s gorgeous, life changing, naturally tanned and seriously fanciable, He’ll be hunted down by all the young things in our office poor sod. I heard today we’ve won a new client, Stellar Haufman plc. Their business is worth a few million pounds a year. Sam, she’s our office manager, told me the papers have been signed for us to take over the building next door giving us twice the space we’ve got now. I’m so glad I had the sense to accept their offer three years ago when we moved in here ... that was the best career decision I ever made. Sorry Mel, you’re completely pissed off and all I can do is talk about my work. What’s up at the bank? I thought everything was great last time we talked?”

“It was – it’s me that’s wrong, I’m sliding down a slippery slope. I can’t stop myself even though I know I’m doing it. Neen, I think I’m on the change! You’re looking at a woman whose past her best. From here on it’s all wrinkles, HRT and misery. I feel like I’ve got a sign on my back saying, Melonie Fisher – Menopausal – past her sell by date.”

“Oh Mel, don’t be daft, you probably aren’t any such thing. And even if you are, which I doubt, it doesn’t mean much these days. It’s not going to change your life; I read the other day that women now get more out of life after than before. I’ll search out the magazine and bring it home for you. If you ask me, Mel, you’ve just had a shitty day and by tomorrow you’ll have forgotten all about it, but if not you can always talk to me about it, you know that.”

“Thanks Neen, perhaps I needed that kick up the backside from Tim. I’ve managed to upset him big time, and you know how calm he is. I didn’t have any food in for his evening meal. Would you believe I offered him a sausage sandwich? Christ he went mad, can you blame him? You see what I mean – that proves it doesn’t it? When the body begins to change the brain starts to shrink, I’m sure I read that somewhere. I’ve always fed him and the kids properly, you know that, but tonight I didn’t even realise until it was too late that I had nothing to cook for them. Now Tim’s stormed out and the kids are upstairs half fed and I’m sitting here admitting I can’t cope anymore. You can’t tell me that’s normal, Neen, be honest with me. I’ve failed them haven’t I? That’s what I am, a failure. Soon the bank will notice and then it’ll be the five o’clock briefing, ‘Please clear your desk Mrs. Fisher, the bank has decided to terminate your employment. Sign here and someone will see you out. That’s how it’s done in the bank you know! Poor old Jenny was there for twenty two years, hardly had a day off, but we all knew she was struggling. She made so many mistakes it was embarrassing, until eventually Management sussed her out as they were bound to. She was called into the manager’s office one night just before we left. When we went home she was still in there but we never saw her in the office again. She rang me the next day, in floods of tears. We met up that lunch time – she was in shock. “He just gave me this envelope, asked me to sign then took me up to my floor and gave me two minutes to pack,” she said. “He stood over me while I gathered up my bits and pieces, tissues in one hand, crying so I couldn’t even see what I was doing, then he escorted me down to the back entrance and let me out. That was it after twenty two years. Melanie you can’t believe what they’ve done to me. I’ve cried non stop since last night, at fifty two I’m finished. No one will ever employ me now. I’ve been scrapped, thrown onto the heap. What am I going to do?”

“I remember that lunch time like it was yesterday. I cried with her, promised we’d meet once a week, that I’d help her find another job, told her she wasn’t finished, she was just having a bad patch, it would soon pass. Do you know I think she actually believed me? When we said goodbye she smiled and said she felt a thousand times better. She said she was lucky to have a friend like me. I’ve only seen her once since then; we had a drink after work one night when a girl from her old office left to have a baby. Jenny looked ten years older, that was in just three months... I hugged her and said sorry I hadn’t phoned her, you know how it is, I said, pressure of work, family etc. She stared at me through haunted eyes and whispered... I know Mel, I can’t expect people to help me if I can’t help myself. She looked like she’d given up. God I let her down and this is my just deserves, I’ve been punished quite rightly. Oh Jenny, I’m so sorry – I meant to keep my promise, but I’m a lousy friend, a failure at work, and a crap wife. Oh God Neen what am I going to do?”

Four hours later Nina stumbled back to her house and Melanie put three empty wine bottles in the recycling bin. When Tim returned at midnight she was in bed, deliberately still reading so as to be awake when he came in, although she’d expected him long before this.

“Did you fix Andy’s car?”

“Yea, it only took an hour; I’ve been down the Globe with a few of the lads. We played pool... I was having a good time and I didn’t realise how late it was.”

“Night Tim, see you in the morning.” She knew this was his way of protesting or sulking as she saw it. If he was ready to end the row he’d have come home earlier. This meant the argument was far from over.

Work was no easier the next day, and the drive home was fraught as always, but at least tonight she didn’t cause a hold up. She congratulated herself on a perfect trip, which only added to her worries because she’d never doubted her driving ability until now, it was one those things you took for granted. Her low self esteem had made the journey feel like an achievement. Today had been hard. With two hours to go she was absently staring at her screen while her mind was busy exploring the evening ahead. She had his favourite, fillet steak. Thanks to a trip to Waitrose in her lunch break, Tim would have no cause to chastise her tonight, especially as she had exciting plans for this evening. After clearing the dishes she’d spend an hour upstairs with the kids so Tim could watch TV and then she’d come downstairs to him wearing something sexy. She’d curl up next to him on the settee accidentally exposing flesh well above her knees, this would arouse him and he’d soon come round. That’s if he was still sulking.

Melanie carried her five feet five inches beautifully. She never worried about her looks, she only wanted to please Tim and he loved her unquestioningly, well aware that he was a lucky man. Her hair was as long as when she’d met him all those years ago and her trim figure was still cloaked with velvet smooth skin. Her legs were ‘fat free’ and fabulous and she knew it. Glancing to where her skirt lay just above her knee she ran her hand down the smooth skin to her ankle before pushing both palms tightly into the back of her thighs. “Not a bit of cellulite there,” she boasted, totally unaware that she had announced it out loud to everyone in the office.

Joe, the Business Manager, was kind and caring and Melanie had always liked him. He looked towards her and laughed, “Am I supposed to take your word for that Mel or are you about to prove it?”

As the realisation of her utterance hit her she reddened rapidly and struggled for some sensible explanation. Her mouth went dry and knowing that nothing she could say would seem remotely reasonable she just stared at him. After a few seconds she muttered, “Sorry Joe, I was miles away.”

“Are you OK Mel?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She flared at him despite his obvious concern. Instantly guilt crept into her voice. “I’m fine Joe, what makes you think I’m not?”

“I noticed yesterday you were making hard work of everything. That’s not like you. Maybe you need a holiday. Cheer up Mel, you look like you’re about to kill me with your bare hands! Either you’re upset or I’m losing the plot and that isn’t likely because at my annual appraisal I was told I’m doing brilliantly.”