Yours Unfaithfully (3 page)

“Well they won’t be telling
me
that, that’s for sure! More likely... Melanie you have demonstrated a complete lack of ability to do your job and we suggest you fall silently onto your sword.”

“So I was right, you’re having a mini-crisis. Everyone has them Mel. It’s as normal as a headache or having the Monday morning feeling.”

“No Joe, this isn’t a mini-crisis, this is a bloody major crisis and it isn’t just in the office. It stretches for twelve miles along the drive home and then into my kitchen where I am a crap cook and even to the bedroom where apparently I’m a crap wife!”

“You and Tim struggling a bit? It happens Mel but it soon turns around. Cindy and I had a massive row at the weekend. I can’t even remember why, but last night she was fine, just like it had never happened. When you get home tonight Tim’ll be there waiting for you, cooking a meal and raring to whisk you off to bed before you can say ‘Guess what’s for pudding’?”

This conversation kept coming back to her as she busied herself preparing the steak and chips that was set to win Tim over. Unusually he hadn’t been in first tonight, but this sometimes happened if he had a late repair. Melanie fed the kids with burgers and chips and cleared away after them so that it would be just the two of them. She found a left over candle from Christmas and stuffed it into a glass holder before placing it in the centre of the table. When the kitchen door opened she expected it to be Tim, but to her surprise it was Nina.

“Hi Mel, I know your cooking tea but I just popped round to say Ben’s out tonight and I thought we could do last night all over again, except round at my place. I want to hear all about your day and I promise I won’t even mention mine, OK?”

“Oh, sorry Neen I can’t. I’ve planned a special treat for Tim, you know ... after last night.”

“Melanie Fisher,” Nina said in a voice resembling a Victorian school mistress, “Do you mean what I think you mean?” She giggled ... “Mel, this treat, is it that steak or is it you that’s going to be laid out on a plate for this incredibly lucky man?”

“Well, yes sort of, I’m going to give Tim bloody Fisher a night to remember. When he sees me slink down those stairs in shimmering silk he’ll turn off his precious TV soap and turn on to me. I’m going to be a wicked woman tonight Nina, and the poor bugger has absolutely no idea that in two hours from now he is going to be my victim!”

“Where is he anyway?”

“Oh he’s a bit late, a last minute job I expect, but don’t worry, I’ll soon make up for lost time!”

“Ah well never mind, I’ll just empty that bottle on my own. Oh Mel, just one favour... please keep the screaming down. Have a great night and tomorrow we are definitely getting together and
you
are going to tell me every sordid detail of tonight’s shenanigans, OK?”

“OK I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Nina closed the door and waved through the window, her huge smile underlining her approval of Mel’s plan. When Melanie had everything ready she checked the clock on the cooker for the umpteenth time before deciding to ring Tim to see how much longer he was going to be. If he doesn’t get here soon this steak will be
‘bien cuit’
she mumbled. Tim answered his mobile but she could barely hear him for the noise going on behind him.

“How long are you going to be Tim? The tea is ready to serve, can you hurry up please! Tim, what is all that shouting I can hear, are you all right?”

“I’m fine, sorry I meant to phone you, I won’t be in for a sandwich tonight. I’m having a few games of pool with the lads and then we’re going into town to get a proper meal, you know steak or maybe a curry.”

“You Bastard!” she yelled and slammed the phone down so hard she feared she’d smashed it. Her eyes filled with tears as she carried the grill pan to the swing bin and tipped the two steaks into it. She went into the lounge and threw herself onto the settee letting the tears flow into the tissue she was clutching. For what seemed an age she buried her face into the cushion and wept as she hadn’t done in years. From upstairs the sounds of laughter told her what she already knew. The kids were having a great time watching their TV. They didn’t need her to go up and spend an hour with them. Sure they would politely let her join in their games or watch the latest DVD, but they wouldn’t notice if she didn’t go up. Eventually she dragged herself up and pulled on her fleece. As she closed the door she looked back into the kitchen, sadness swept over her and the tears started again. As soon as Nina answered the door she saw that Mel was in a state.

“Oh my God Mel, what’s happened? Is it Tim? He hasn’t had an accident has he?”

“No but he bloody will!” she cried.

Nina put her arms around her friend and guided her into her lounge. She put a glass of white wine in Mel’s hand and gently waited for her to recover enough to get her story out.

“The fool, the idiot, the stupid, stupid twit!” Nina tried desperately to find words to describe Tim’s treatment of this lovely lady, who only an hour ago had been willing to give everything to making Tim the happiest man on Earth.

“Why is it men have such small brains to start with, and then only use a quarter of what they’ve got?” she said.”That man is so lucky to have you and he doesn’t see it. Right now he’s with a bunch of pub losers playing pool and downing pints in order to convince himself that he is the
Man
in
His
house. I can almost hear him, ‘This’ll show her how important I am! This’ll teach her to have a proper meal waiting for me when I get back from work!’” Nina ranted on for a few more minutes before Mel stopped her.

“It doesn’t matter Neen.”

“What do you mean, it doesn’t matter? Of course it bloody matters. Mr Tim bloody important Fisher is down there buying his pals drinks while they all share the same brain cell to tell each other how bloody marvellous they are and how shit we are at looking after them. Well bugger him Mel, bugger him! Tomorrow night we’ll go out for a nice meal together and you can leave him a note! Your sandwich is in the bread bin – make it yourself ...you stupid sod ! Christ I’m so angry at the way he’s treated you tonight. I’ve half a mind to go down that pub and embarrass him in front of his so called mates and tell him exactly what a shit he is.”

“Neen, stop a minute, have you thought that he might just be right? I am useless. I told you last night it’s not just at home. People in work are beginning to notice that I can’t cope. Today Joe, our Business Manager told me I need to take a holiday. It was obvious he felt sorry for me; he could see I was in a mess. I’m finished Neen. The kids don’t need me any more and nor does Tim. I’ve never thought about life after the menopause but I am now, and there is no life after it. I’m frightened. What am I going to do Neen?”

“I don’t know Mel, if I’m honest I don’t know... but I don’t believe you are on the change and I am as certain as I know my own name you’re not finished. In fact Mel, you’ve never looked better, honestly, you look terrific. You know that and the kids adore you, of course they need you. OK they don’t show it, but kids don’t. You try not being there and you’ll soon see if they need you. As for work, you’re just going through a rough patch, but you’ll get through. Maybe Joe is right, maybe you do need a holiday. In fact Mel, now I think about it, you haven’t all gone off together in the three years you’ve been here, have you? No wonder you’re screwed up, you’ve got to get something booked. Don’t ask Tim, just book it and tell him afterwards, that way he won’t try to put it off. And if he says he’s not coming... just suppose he did... which he won’t, then sod him, I’ll come with you and we’ll take all the kids and we’ll have the best holiday we’ve had in years.’

Tim walked into the bar of the Globe with a heavy heart. He knew this wasn’t the way to end the row but he was sure this time it was up to her. He’d kept his part of the bargain ever since they’d got married. He’d worked hard, very hard, and they’d never wanted for anything, but of course their grand lifestyle in the new house would never have been possible if Melanie hadn’t gone back to work. Within months of her going back to the bank she was promoted, and she kept on getting promoted. She loved the bank, he’d never doubted that, but it was only recently that he’d felt low in her list of priorities. He couldn’t recall when he’d first thought it. Was it something one of his mates had said that started him thinking it? He recalled an innuendo about Melanie being specially selected by Head Office after a recent promotion. The boys had laughed and then the subject had quickly changed, but perhaps a seed of doubt was sown in his mind.

A voice at the other end of the bar greeted him, ‘Hi Tim, get the drinks in then’! Dave was always loud, and easily made himself heard over the noisy drinkers, anxious to be noticed in the way some men do when surrounded by their mates, and after being alone in his tractor all day, evenings in the pub were the highlight of his day. Ben was on a stool at the bar and joined in the melee.

“What’s this Tim? It’s only just gone six, has she given you permission or did you sneak out while she wasn’t looking?”

Tim recoiled at this remark; it was awkwardly near the mark. He forced a smile, “She wouldn’t mind if I spent five nights a week in here.” As soon as he’d said it he realised it was a confession of the truth, or what he believed to be the truth. He’d just blurted to the entire pub something private that he wasn’t yet ready to accept. Fortunately, as always, the subject quickly turned to something else and he escaped the embarrassment of a ribbing on the matter of his marriage. Tim stuck fifty pence on the pool table to indicate that he would play the winner of the game in progress. He was one of the best players in the pool league, which meant that he often remained on the table for hours. Tonight was no exception and as the bell sounded for last orders he was still there.

“How’s the job going Ben?”

“It didn’t work out Tim. I made a simple mistake over a few towels and the manager went bloody crazy. Before I could say two words he was on to the agency and that was it. I was out on my ass.”

“You’ve had a few unlucky breaks just lately Ben. What’s the problem? Is it that you don’t like the agency work or what?”

“Tim, I wish I knew, honestly. Nina scolds me rotten, says I’m lazy. She throws all kinds of insults my way but she doesn’t understand. She’s got her high and mighty position but she’s got no idea what it’s like doing man’s work.”

“Ben, if you think Nina’s hard work you should see the shit I have to put up with from Mel. Last night after a flat out day I got home to find my meal was a bloody sausage sandwich!”

“That’s the trouble with us Tim, we both married intelligent women.”

“I don’t mind that Ben, I’ve always encouraged her, but she thinks my work is rubbish, not worth talking about, whereas hers is fascinating, more worthwhile, that’s what pisses me off. She’ll often tell me about this one or that one in the bank and how he did this or did that, as if I bloody care. I don’t even know these people, how am I supposed to laugh at some guy called Roderick or whatever his bloody name is wearing a red bow tie with a yellow shirt? If I tried to tell her about the problems I had changing a gearbox and how I had to take it back out three times because the spigot shaft wouldn’t go in, do you think she’d care... she wouldn’t even bloody listen and before I’d got to the second try she’d cut across me with the latest exploits of Randy bloody Roderick and the rest of her circus.”

“Tim, what you’ve got to remember is, they’re not really more intelligent than us, this is just what we’ve let them think over the years to keep ‘em happy. Ever since that women’s lib crap we’ve had to pretend that they’re just as bright as we are. So, the bank just plays the same game, see? The bank doesn’t want to get sued for having more men than women ‘cos that would be discrimination, so, what does it do? It employs a load of women to push bits of paper around and it gives them fancy titles, like ‘This Manager’ or ‘That Manager’ and they’re happy, see? Meanwhile, the blokes in the bank are really running the show, they’re the only ones who see the real figures and know how much money the bank’s got in the locker. ‘Course occasionally it goes a bit pear shaped like when that bloke at Bearing’s Bank spent the bloody lot without telling the others and the bank went down the chute, but it just shows the women who worked there didn’t have a clue what was really happening or they’d have stopped him, wouldn’t they? I bet Melanie doesn’t really know how much money the bank makes, but she’s happy ‘cos she thinks she’s running the bloody show. If she was really bright she’d realise that it’s blokes like Roddy who are really running it. Nina’s the same; her firm has to have a few women solicitors to keep the balance fair. I expect they give her a divorce case or two and a bit of child custody stuff and she thinks she’s Cherie bloody Blair. I’m clever enough to let her go on thinking that, and I let her think that I really believe she’s a big cog in her firm. That way, I get a decent meal when I get home and she’s as happy as a pig in shit. You gotta start playing the game like I do Tim, feed her on bullshit and she’ll feed you on something better than sausages. She probably knows from your face, from the way you look at her when she’s telling you all this stuff about ‘good old Roddy’ that you think he’s a dick and she’s daft for thinking he’s clever in the first place. Trust me Tim, I understand women. Bloody have to ... to stay married to Neen for all these years!’

‘Do you know Ben, you make it all sound so simple, but deep down I think you’re right... trouble is I can’t pretend the way you do. I can’t sit there and laugh at Roddy’s antics just so I get fed properly. If I did that I’d feel like I was a performing seal, clapping my hands and barking just to get my next mouthful of fish. No, bugger the bank and sod Roddy. I’d sooner come down here from work and eat Jim’s cooking. At least that way she’ll see that I’m not going to be treated like her pet puppy. More likely this dog will bite before long if she doesn’t change her ways.’

‘Tim, you’re doing this all wrong mate, trust me. Your way can only end in trouble!’

‘We’ll see Ben, we’ll see!’