Zandor (18 page)

“I was stressed and you weren’t available.”

“I was available to you any time you wanted. I was at school.”

“Which made you unavailable.”

“I need to go check on my father. So you shut your mouth or you leave.”

“I made a mistake
, Rebekah. It won’t happen again.”

“You made four mistakes that I know of. Three other girls besides Kathy.”

He grabbed my face. “Things have changed. I’ll never hurt you again.”

He leaned in to kiss me. Quick movement on my part made him only get the corner of my mouth.

I pushed his hands away. “Don’t ever do that again.”

I walked around him and into my father’s room.

He was sitting up and looked up and smiled. I was shocked.

“Hey there
, Rebekah.” Dad was stoned.

“Feeling good?”

“Ready to do this and get the hell out of here. You sticking around to take care of me?”

“For a few days
, yes.”

I pulled up a chair and sat next to him.

“I’m not scared,” he nodded once.

Affirmative Colonel
. “Of course not Dad.”

“Dex here?”

“Yep, right outside.”

“Good. You’ll fix this?”

I looked at him and smiled as best I could. “I’m gonna make sure you’re better. No boy worry for you, sir.”

“Where is Steel?”

“On his way back to Jersey.”

“Good place for him. He’s a punk
, Rebekah.”

“No boy worries
, Dad.”

He nodded in agreement when the nurse walked in.

“Let’s get you upstairs.” She smiled at him and he laughed.

My father
laughed and I almost died.

I smiled when the nurses started to wheel him out
. “See you when you’re done, Dad.”

“What
, no hug?” The nurse stopped and motioned for me to give him a hug.

I gave him a hug and we very uncomfortably patted each other’s back once.

“Give your Dad a kiss.”

Pushy
, merry little thing. I did what she asked.

“Thanks kiddo
.” He patted my head.

Kiddo. He hadn’t called me that in years, at least since I was fifteen.  I followed them to the elevator and as its doors closed
, he gave me a salute, like he always had before leaving on one of his missions.

I was going to cry, I was going to cry in front of strangers. I ran
toward the bathroom and Dex grabbed me.

“Please don’t just…”
He hugged me tight against him and lifted me just off my feet and walked into my father’s hospital room.

“Let it go
, little soldier.”

And
I did.

I sobbed, drugged or not
, I just saw my Daddy, the one from long ago. I wished my Mom could have seen him and Chris. God, I wish he was here to see him smile, salute, and for him to call Chris kiddo.

When I was done I wiped my face and reached into my pocket for my phone.

“You alright?”

“I’m fine.”

I sent Mom and Chris a message letting them know what was going on and then sat down on the chair next to Dad’s bed.

“You text him?”

“No. I sent Mom and Chris a text.”

“You should’ve done that last night.”

My eyes snapped up and I scowled at him.

“What
? You should’ve.” He sat in the chair across the room.

My phone rang and it was Mom. She was in Canada with her Beau. She wanted me to know she was there for me and that she wouldn’t be able to see me on Thanksgiving. His family was coming to the chalet. She was happy, so happy with him. I was glad for her.

Chris sent a text saying if he died to let him know. He may or may not attend his funeral.

I sat back nervously waiting and D
ex sat across the room scowling at me.

“What are you waiting for? You’re miserable here.”

“How’d your brother and mom take the news, Rebekah?”

“As expected
, Bryant.”

“Well then
, smart ass, I’m here because no one else gives a shit. Just like I always was.”

“For me?”

“Of course for you.”

“You and I are nothing. Less than nothing, we’re enemies
, Dex.”

He didn’t say anything he just sat back and crossed his arms and continued staring.

He used to look at me like that. Expressionless, blank stare, and each time it would drive me crazy, wondering what he was thinking. Right now as much as I didn’t want to give a shit I did.

“Are you going back to Georiga for Thanksgiving?”
See, just like now.

“Depends
.” He cocked his eyebrow.

“On?”

“You, it depends on how long you’re going to keep playing this game.”

“Go home
, Dex. There is nothing salvageable here. You don’t want it, either, or you wouldn’t have fucked around on me.”

“No.”

“As soon as he is able to drive, I’m back to New Jersey. Meaning in just a few days.”

“You’ll leave him alone on Thanksgiving?”

“Yeah, I will. He spends that time with his boys.”

“So that pisses you off?”

“No, not at all. Just like it shouldn’t be a big deal for him either so let’s not make it be.”

“He’s already mentioned that he misses you attending events with him.”

“I’m his daughter and now I’m a grown up. It’s time Dex. I need to have a life of my own.”

“So you just turn your back on us.”

“No, Dex. You need to move on, too. You should be home with your sisters and parents, recovering and celebrating the holidays.”

“That’s not how my life has been for a few years now
, Rebekah, it’s been about you.”

“Start over, all new. You deserve to be happy.”

He looked stunned. “You made me happy.”

“Not happy enough
, Dex, think about it.”

Here I was telling the guy who cheated on me that it was
all right, and it was. It happens right? It’s how people grow, learn from others mistakes and their own.

“I want you to be happy someday
, Dex. Find someone to grow old with, have babies, that kind of stuff.”

“You think that’s what he is for you
, Rebekah. That’s what this new attitude is all about?”

“He’s told me that I shouldn’t let people beat me down. Even after you two tried to make me look like a whore in front of him
.” I felt my ears burn.

“You’re getting pissed
.” He pointed to my ears.

“Yeah, that’s crap
, Dex, and I won’t let it eat up any more time than it already has. I deserve to be treated like a human being and not be shunned or spoken to like you …”

“Of course I did! I didn’t want him anywhere near you. I wanted him to run for the fucking hills so that I could fix this mess. I thought we had something cooking inside of you. I wanted to drill that bastard. I’ll be a great
dad, Rebekah. I didn’t want someone to be banging the woman carrying my child. So contrary to what you believe, I was holding my shit together pretty well. And you forget I know you don’t fuck without a condom. It took me forever to convince you that the pill was good enough. I convinced you that even though you went through all that shit in Florida you shouldn’t beat yourself up every day for the rest of your damn life. I remember what it took to make you smile. Do you remember that? I sure do. I remember how you liked to be held while you cried. I remember your favorite color was lavender, not purple. I remember how excited you got when I scored us tickets to see Taylor Swift, even though I didn’t want to go. I remember all of it.”

I was fighting tears
. “Yet you screwed around on me? Why? What did I do to deserve that, Dex? Tell me what I did to deserve that!”

His eyes were glassing over
. “I don’t have a clue. I don’t know, Rebekah.”

“I wasn’t enough for you and then you crapped all over me.”

“You’ve been important to me for so long. I came back here ready to be who I was before for you. To raise a child with you. I still can’t even come to terms that it was there and now it’s just gone.”

“I swear to you I didn’t have another…”

“I know, I know that. God, Rebekah the last time nearly killed you. You nearly withered away. I saw what you did to yourself, how much you hated yourself.” He sat with his head hung deep in thought. “Look at the shit I’ve done to you. I beat you down, a girl whose self-esteem sucks so bad that even though you try to tell her how damn hot she is she insists on complete darkness and covers. No wonder you hate me so much.”

“I don’t hate you. I just won’t ever go back to that, not ever. But I don’t hate you
, Dex. Look around here. I’m sitting here in a hospital room so that a man who has verbally crushed me for five years now isn’t alone. I’ve just recently accepted what happened to me in the past.”

“Zandor Steel do that for you?”

“Spending time getting to know myself again. Not walking around a base that’s full of people who know every mistake I’ve ever made has helped.” I smiled a little. “Zandor definitely helped.”

“Like I did before.”

“I was already healing by myself, thank you.”

He nodded
. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

“I will back off, but if he hurts you I’ll go after him.”

“Don’t try to be a hero
, Dex.”

“Fine
, I’ll do it for me. The fucker pinned me against a wall. When I’m healed he better be gone.”

“He was sticking up for me.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“I know.”

“I should’ve done that to your Dad for all the shit he pulled over the years with you.”

“Yeah
, well you acted just like him toward the end.”

“Sorry
, Beks, I really am.”

“I know.”

“So your new guy is a tattoo artist?”

I looked up at him and smirked
. “Yes he is.”

“And that’s enough for you?”

“He’s a good guy. His Dad was military, too. So he still has that bad ass vibe I like so much.”

“I’d love to discuss it but….yeah
, no. I don’t wanna talk about him.”

“Okay.”

“Friends, Rebekah?”

“Sure.”

~

Dad was home and in bed. Everything had gone perfectly
, and his recovery time was only a couple days as far as restrictions on driving went. He spent the night in the recliner and he even went into the bedroom to sleep, which was a first in many, many years.

I was cooking a bunch of foods to freeze when Zandor called.

“How’s the old man doing, Kitten?”

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“He’s good, in bed now. I’m cooking food for him to heat up when I come home.”

“You doing okay?”

“I am, actually. He’s been different. I’m pretty sure it’s the pain meds but he surprised me today. Let’s just say I saw a glimpse of my Daddy from years ago. It was good. So if I keep him drugged while I’m here we should be incident-free.”

“The Grinch effect. It’s a gift of yours
, Bekah.”

I
laughed and he hummed.

“You home
, Zandor?”

“Yep
, just got here.”

“You didn’t call on your drive.”

“You were busy.”

“Thanks.”

“So was he there?”

“Dex?”

“Whatever his name is.”

“Yes, he was. He and I had a good talk.”

“Did you?” I could tell he was trying to not freak out and it made me laugh. “It’s not funny.”

“I told him I kind of was crushing on this hot tattoo artist.”

“Did you tell him if he laid a finger on you or said a cross word I would crush his face?”

“No. He apologized for everything. He thought I was, you know.”

“So he calls you a whore!”

“No it was slut,” I joked.

“Bekah…”

“What? I thought we were alright with that word.”

“We?”

“Oh um
.” I wasn’t sure what to say.

“I like
we.”

“Good.”

“You sound tired.”

“
I am. Must have been all that action last night.”