Zombies and Shit (59 page)

Vine cuts his way through the zombies to the hospital and tries grabbing the artwork with his one arm, but he can’t get it onto his back. A zombie comes at him and his wire slices it in half down the middle.

“Make sure to get the masterpiece,” says Xiu’s voice.

Vine leaves all of the artwork except for the masterpiece. It is light enough for him to strap it to his back with only his right arm. One at a time, he straps a few more of them to his back.

“That should be enough,” says Xiu’s voice. “Now get to the helicopter before it’s too late.”

Vine looks over at the helicopter across the parking lot.

“Don’t let our deaths be for nothing,” says the voice of his Head.

Zombies explode left and right, as Junko runs toward the helicopter. On the other side of the parking lot, she sees Mr. T running alongside her, staring at her with raging hunger. He slams corpses out of his way as he tries to cut her off before she gets to the aircraft.

Junko swings her chainsaw like a ballerina as she runs, jump-spinning in the air and slashing zombies into halves. Scavy blasts those that come in behind her, throwing them back into a cloud of meaty chunks.

Halfway there, Junko sees something coming down from the sky. It lands between her and the helicopter, safely away from any of the living dead.

Scavy sees it from his seated position. His mouth drops open as he recognizes what it is.

It’s Oro’s glider-cycle.

Oro steps out of his glider-cycle and walks casually over to the helicopter.

“Just in time,” he says, wiping dust from his shirt.

He looks back to see Junko running toward him from the distance.

“Didn’t you know?” he says to her figure across the parking lot. “Geniuses always win.”

He snickers as he steps up into the helicopter.

The aircraft has no cockpit, as it is computer-controlled. The inside of the craft contains only one seat. Oro sits down in it. He puts his last cigar into his mouth and lights it up. Takes a puff, then laughs loudly.

“Of course I would win,” he says. “I am a genius. I
deserved
to win!

He chuckles as he sucks on his cigar. Then he looks over to his right and sees zombie Mr. T staring back at him, only a few inches from his face. The cigar falls out of Oro’s mouth.

“Gimme them brains, fool!” yells the zombie T-2000.

Oro screams as he is ripped out of the aircraft and dragged across the ground.

“But I’m a genius!” he cries. “You can’t eat my brains!”

“Quit yo’ jibber jabber,” says zombie Mr. T.

Then he bites into his skull and eats his brains.

Vine rushes toward the helicopter with paintings strapped to his back. He slices through rows of zombies, blood draining down his side, his intestines uncoiling out of his belly.

“You have to get there!” Xiu yells. “Get close enough to use your wire!”

Vine trips over his own intestine and falls to the ground. He slashes the oncoming zombies as he gets up and continues on.

Junko runs past Mr. T to the helicopter. She glances over at him as he tears into Oro’s brains with his big bright teeth. He growls and thrashes at the brains like a mad dog.

Cutting down the last zombie in her way, Junko boards the helicopter. She collapses against the seat. Her head leaning back against the metal casing, catching her breath.

As the helicopter lifts off, she turns off her chainsaw and looks down at the chaos below. The aircraft ascends high into the sky.

Below her, she can see Scavy sitting safely within the circle, protected by the lawn gnome. He waves at her, pumping his shotgun into the air.

She waves back. The motion causes blood to spray out of the zombie bites on her arm, sprinkling into the air, mixing with the falling rain.

Vine sees the helicopter flying above the hospital.

“There’s still time!” yells Xiu’s voice. “Do it!”

Vine launches his wire and it hooks onto the helicopter’s landing skid. He is pulled into the air, reeled upward. His insides spill out, raining on the corpses below, as he flies through the sky, getting closer to the aircraft.

“Finish the mission!” Xiu’s voice cries. “You can do it!”

When he reaches the helicopter, he climbs up into the cabin. Junko’s eyes light up in shock when she sees him standing there. She tries to start up her chainsaw, but can’t get it going. It’s finally out of gas.

With his one arm, Vine pulls the artwork from his back and tosses it into Junko’s lap. Then he pulls the mask from his mouth.

“Tell her in English,” says Xiu’s voice.

It has been a long time since Vine has spoke English, so it takes him a while to get the words out.

“Give these to the son of Gunther von Hagens,” he tells her.

She slowly nods at him. “Okay…”

Then he lets go of the helicopter doorway, drops backward, tumbling into space without his wire to catch him.

“You did it,” Xiu’s voice tells him, as he falls through the air, staring up at the helicopter. “You accomplished the mission. We didn’t die for nothing.”

A smile grows on his lips and tears flutter from his eyes, watching the helicopter get smaller and smaller as he falls away from it.

Scavy hollers in excitement as he watches the helicopter flying over the buildings. He waves his shotgun into the air.

“You did it!” he cries. “Fuck yeah!”

Behind him, Popcorn covers her mouth as she giggles with joy.

“Those bastards aren’t going to get away with it!” Scavy cries. “Teach them a lesson you beautiful badass bitch!”

He laughs out loud.

Then he pumps his shotgun into the air.

“Anarchy! Anarchy! Anarchy!”

But the smile fades from his lips as he sees the rocket flying up from the ground toward the helicopter.

“No…” Scavy says in a soft whisper, as the rocket hits the helicopter.

The aircraft erupts into a ball of fire and falls from the sky.