Zombies and Shit (6 page)

The number of zombies outside of the hotel is rising. The undead are breaking the wooden barrier into splinters. Some are puking green radioactive vomit across the walls, others are dripping black oily fluids on the sun-burnt pavement.

“We need to get going pretty soon,” Junko says to Charlie.

They have separated from the others and are now in a private hotel room, trying to plan their escape. Haroon and Lee are in the room, leaning against a dresser. Laurence is also there, pointing at the path.

“I say we head straight through there,” Laurence says, while pointing at the widest street in sight. “It might be the most wide-open but it has the least amount of obstacles. We’ll be able to run faster.”

“No,” Junko says. “You want to put obstacles between you and them. They can run pretty fast, but they are terrible climbers. We should go over the wall. They won’t be able to follow us over and it’ll take them a good hour to figure out how to get around. I’ve seen it before.”

“How far away do we have to get before our packs open?” Lee asks through his scruffy gray beard. By his tipsy posture, Charlie assumes that the old man is drunk even though he couldn’t possibly have any alcohol on him.

“Don’t bother with them until we get over the wall and find safety,” Junko says. “Focus on running. Trying to fight them will only slow us down.”

“When should we leave?” Charlie asks.

“Right now,” Junko says.

Once the five of them arrive in the lobby, they notice that the seven punks have the same idea. The punks are ready to go, their eyes lit with excitement. The other people in the room don’t seem to be as organized. Charlie can’t tell if they are all one group, several small groups, or if they all plan to go solo. Rainbow is the only person who isn’t in the lobby. She must still be hiding up in a room somewhere.

The zombies are ripping boards from the windows and scratching against the glass. One of them is missing flesh from the tips of its fingers, causing a screeching noise as its finger bones scrape across the glass.

Scavy looks closely at one of the zombies. It is a female corpse who looks like she had been an exotic dancer in her past life, wearing fishnet stockings and a withered black corset. Her breasts are hanging out of her ripped open shirt. Scavy can see the saline implants through holes in her breast meat, where chunks of flesh had been bitten away.

The female zombie locks eyes with Scavy and says, “Braains!”

Then she thrashes harder against the boards. It’s as if looking him in the eyes made her more hungry, as if she could see his brains through his pupils.

“Hey, this one’s kind of hot!” Scavy says to his friends, pointing at the ex-stripper zombie.

His friend, Brick, laughs and wiggles his tongue at her through the glass.

“Braains,” she says, staring Scavy in the eyes. “Let me eat your brains!”

Charlie notices that she is salivating.

“Brains!” she cries.

Brick and Scavy pretend to squeeze her breasts through the glass. This only works up the zombie even more.

“Need!” she cries. “Need your brains! Now!”

Junko pushes the punks away from the window. “Don’t tease them. You’ll only make them hungrier.”

The punks don’t seem to care.

“Are they intelligent?” Charlie asks Junko. “I’ve never heard them say anything but
brains
before… even when I was a kid and saw them all the time.”

“It depends on how much of their minds are still intact,” Junko says. “Most of their minds have been destroyed. Some of them, especially the freshly turned ones, can have entire conversations with you.”

“So you can reason with them? Convince them to let us go? They must understand what it’s like to be human.”

Junko laughs and shakes her head. “Even the most intelligent zombies are like junkies going through a massive withdrawal. All they need to get their fix is to feed on the electrical impulses in your nervous system. If you want to convince junkies not to shoot up anymore, it’s not going to happen while you’re waving a bunch of free Waste in front of their faces.”

“But what if you tried to reason with them from a distance, over an intercom?” Charlie asks. “Maybe if you take the Waste out of their faces it wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Clever,” Junko says. “But a useless idea.”

“I wonder if the more intelligent ones have conversations with each other,” Charlie says, “when humans aren’t around to drive them brain-crazy.”

“Brain-crazy?” Junko asks.

“It’s a term I use in my novels to explain zombie behavior around living beings.”

“Hmmm…” She scrunches her eyes at him. “No wonder why people don’t take your books seriously.”

He shrugs. “I was never trying to be taken seriously.”

“Are you ready to do this?” Junko asks.

Charlie looks behind him to check with Lee, Haroon, and Laurence. They nod their heads. Laurence smiles and gives him a thumbs up through his black leather glove.

“Let’s do it,” Charlie says.

The punks crowd the front entrance, wanting to be the first ones out. As they pry the boards from the front door, all of the zombies in the yard become attracted to the sound and gather on the other side.

“How are we gonna get through them?” Bosco says.

“We should leave through another entrance,” Haroon says, inching away.

Before the punks get the boards down, the door splinters apart and a hole opens up on the top half.

“Braains!” a zombie’s face says through the hole.

All the punks back away except for Brick and the pink-haired girl, Popcorn. They try to hold the door in place as it is ripped apart.

“Help us!” Popcorn yells.

The group scatters. Some of them run to the east side of the building, some run to the west. All of the punks leave their two friends, except for Scavy.

“Leave it,” Scavy yells at them. “Come on!”

Brick and Popcorn won’t let go of the door.

“You go first,” Brick tells the girl, flexing his enormous weightlifter muscles. “I’ve got this.”

Popcorn says, “You sure?”

“Yeah!” he says.

Popcorn bites her lip and eases away from the door. But just before she can get back far enough, a skeletal hand reaches through the hole and grabs her by the arm.

“It’s got me!” she cries.

Scavy grabs her by the other hand and tries to pull her away, but its grip is too strong.

“Brains!” the zombie says, black sludge pouring out from between its teeth.

Then radioactive vomit sprays out of its mouth and covers Brick and Popcorn.

“Get back,” Junko says to Charlie and her crew.

Charlie and the others back away from the vomit puddle on the floor as it bubbles and steams. Brick cries out as it burns his flesh like acid. Steam rises from the green slime on the right side of his face. As it drips into his eyes, it bleaches the color out of his right eyeball.

“If you get that shit on your skin you’ll be infected,” Junko says. “Let’s get out of here. These guys are done for.”

Junko takes off to the west side of the building, Charlie and the others follow after.

Rainbow Cat misses Charlie by three seconds as she comes downstairs with her bag over her shoulder, still wiping tears from her eyes. She sees that everybody has already gone except for the three punks in the entryway.

Popcorn screams as the zombie’s bony claws dig into her skin. Scavy yanks on her arm with all of his strength and the zombie’s claws are ripped out of her flesh. When he feels the release, he thinks she is free. But then there is another tug and Popcorn is pulled closer to the door.

When Rainbow approaches them, she sees that the zombie no longer has a grip on her arm. Instead, there is a thin red rope attached to her wrist that the zombie is holding on to. When she gets a closer look, Rainbow realizes that it isn’t a rope. It is the girl’s tendon.

Popcorn’s cries hit a high pitch as the zombie reels the girl in closer to the hole in the door, using her tendon like a fishing line.

“Braains!”

Brick lets go of the door with one hand and grabs hold of her tendon, holding it from being pulled further through the hole. But without using his full strength to hold the barrier, the door crumbles open. The zombies pour inside.