01. Chasing Nikki (22 page)

“Chase. 
Come sit down.  You’re driving everyone crazy.” My mom patted the seat next to
her.

“She’s in
there by herself, and no one is telling us what’s going on.  I told her I’d be
with her.”

“She’s not
alone.  She got a team of people working with her.  Let them do their job,
son.”

“What did
her mom say?” I asked, referring to the phone call she had just made.

“She’s
getting packed up to leave right now.  I feel sorry for her.  It’ll be a long
drive back from Texas.”

“Did you
tell her we would stay with Nikki? I don’t want her to think she’s going to be
abandoned.”

“I told
her.  She’s very appreciative and said to thank you for all your help so far.”

I snorted. 
“What help?  This is all my fault.  If it weren’t for me, none of this would
have happened.”

“Are you
going to tell me what was going on?  I thought you were safely asleep at
Brett’s house.” She arched an eyebrow.

I sighed,
plopping into a seat.  “She was sneaking out from Tana’s to meet me at her
house.”

My mom
picked at some imaginary lint on her pants.  “I see.  How long has this been
going on between the two of you?”

I laughed
sardonically.  “It hasn’t.  Tonight was going to be the first time.”

“Really?”
She turned to stare at me now.  “I have to say I find that surprising, given
how close the two of you’ve been.”

I shrugged
as if it were no big deal, as if I hadn’t been after her for months.  “Nikki’s
different.  She was worth waiting for.”

My mom
squinted, looking at me closely.  “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?  I mean
really in love, not just some teenager puppy I’m-so-cool-with-my-girlfriend
type of affection.”

I wiped my
hand over my face before dropping it into my lap.  What an awkward conversation
to be having with my mother.

“When did
that happen?” she asked, reading my silence perfectly.

“Quite
early, actually.”

“Does she
know how you feel?”

“I hope so. 
I tell her every day.”  I let out an exasperated grunt.

“And does
she feel the same about you?”

“She says
she does, and I believe her.”

“Have you
talked about your futures together?”

I knew she
was trying to distract me, but it was okay.  I needed to talk to someone about
her.

“A little,
but not much.”

“What kind
of stuff?”

“We talked
about going away to the same college together.  She wanted to see what scholarship
offers I might get, and if she could follow me there.”

“How do you
feel about that?”

I rubbed my
palms on the knees of my pants and stood up.  “I’m totally down with it.”

I started
pacing again, unable to help myself.

“That could
be hard on you—new life, new school, new girls to flirt with.  They like the
football players, you know?  You think you could stick with her through all the
attention?”

I lifted my
hand in a helpless gesture before dropping it to my side.  “Well, I would hope
I’m not a complete jerk, since I was planning on asking her to live with me if
things worked out.”

“Chase. 
You’re only eighteen, and still a senior in high school.  Don’t you feel you’re
a little young to be thinking about things like moving in with someone?  Go out
and live your life.  Have a chance to enjoy it before you settle down.”

I turned to
look at her.  “And what if I miss catching the one person that really makes me
happy because I did that?  I know I’m young, Mom, and I’m honestly not trying
to rush.  These are just a few things I’ve thought about.  That being said,
that girl who is all busted up in there makes me feel better than anything I
can ever remember.  She helped me get through the hardest thing I’ve ever had
to go through, and now I’m going to do the same thing for her.” I raised my
voice.  “That is if someone will tell me what’s going on, and let me in there
with her!”

“If you
don’t calm down they’re going to call security and throw you out.  Come on,
son.  Reel it in a notch.”

The doors to
the emergency room opened and a man clad in scrubs came out.  “Are you the
Wagners?” he asked.

“No, the
Walkers.” My mom stood to shake his offered hand.  “I’m Tori, and this is my
son, Chase.  He’s Nikki’s boyfriend.  Her mom is on her way back from Texas. I
told her I’d keep her informed with what was going on.  She called the hospital
and gave permission for me to make any critical medical decisions on Nikki’s
behalf.”

“Very good. 
I’m Doctor Brannen.” He gestured for us to sit together in a grouping of
chairs, and I felt my pulse rate shoot up.  “Nikki has some very serious
injuries.  I’ve just looked at the results from her CAT scan, and she appears
to have fractured her spine in the lower lumbar area.  The spinal cord is
intact, but there’s quite a bit of swelling and deformity around the area.  I
did an exam on her and she has no sensation or feeling below her waist.”

I couldn’t
help the gasp that escaped my lips, lifting my trembling hand to cover my
mouth. 

No, no,
no, this can’t be happening,
the words reverberated through my mind.

“Does that
mean she’s paralyzed?” My mom asked the hard question I couldn’t put a voice
too.

“It could,
but we won’t really know anything until the swelling goes down and relieves the
pressure on the spine.  We also need to operate to stabilize the vertebrae, but
we won’t be able to do that until the swelling goes down either.  The next few
days will be very crucial to her recovery.

I stood up
and walked away, suppressing the urge to vomit. 

How could
this be happening?  She was a cheerleader.  She couldn’t end up paralyzed—it
would devastate her.  It would devastate me.

I turned
around.  “Can I please see her now?”

He nodded. 
“Yes.  Once we made sure she didn’t have any internal head injuries, we gave
her something to help with the pain, so she’s kind of out of it from the sedation. 
She has several large lacerations on the left side of her face that need to be
closed.  The plastic surgeon is coming into help with that so we can get them
sewn as nice as possible for the time being, but she’ll probably have some
significant scarring.”

I can
live with scars,
I thought. 
I just need her to be alive.

“So what’s
the plan from here then?” my mom inquired.

“As soon as
we get her stitched up, we’ll admit her to a room.  We will be giving her heavy
doses of steroids to help the swelling go down quickly so we can get her to
surgery to stabilize the fracture.  That will hopefully take only a day, but
maybe two depending on how she progresses.  She’ll be in a lot of pain during
that time, though, so she’ll be on medication for that as well.  Lots of sleep
is good for her right now.”

“Okay.  Her
mom will be able to get here before she goes into surgery then.” My mom
breathed a sigh of relief as the doctor stood, and we followed him into the
emergency room.

He led us
through the bustling people to a large room with a sliding glass door marked as
Trauma One.  I felt sick all over again as I saw Nikki lying there on the backboard. 
She was hooked up to several monitors, and an oxygen mask was over her face. 
Her breathing was deep and even suggesting she was asleep, which made me feel
better for her.

Most of her
clothes had been cut away to reveal her body for closer examination.  What was
left on her was stiff and brown from the blood that had dried on everything.

My mom
grabbed my hand and squeezed, tears welling up.  “Oh, Chase. I’m so sorry.”

A nurse
stood next to Nikki with a basin, gauze, and bottles of sterile water.  “I’m
Anna,” she said as she removed the block that had been keeping Nikki’s head
secured to the board.  “I’m getting ready to clean her up a little so the
plastic surgeon can see what he’s dealing with.  Are you her family?”

“Family
friends.  My son is her boyfriend,” my mom explained again.  “Her mom is on her
way home from Texas.”

I moved to
the other side of the bed, slipping my hand into Nikki’s and rubbed my thumb
over her skin. 

“Chase,” she
mumbled out immediately, but her eyes stayed closed.

I leaned
down next to her ear.  “I’m here, baby.  Just go to sleep and rest while you
can.  They’re doing their best to get you all taken care of.  Your mom is on
her way home too.  Hopefully she’ll be here tomorrow.”

“Don’t leave
me,” she whispered.

“I wouldn’t
dream of it.  I’ll have the doctor stitch our hands together if you’d like.”

She smiled
then, not very big, but it was there nonetheless.  “I love you, Chase.”

“I love you
too, baby.  Go back to sleep.  The doctor will be here soon to take care of
your face.”

She frowned
a little.  “Do I look bad?”

How could
I answer that?

 “You look
like you’ve had a pretty rough night, but it’s nothing some washing and
stitches won’t help.  Don’t worry about any of that right now.”

She mumbled
something I couldn’t understand, and she drifted off again.

“She
probably won’t remember much of this later on,” Anna spoke up.  “A lot of
accident victims don’t remember this part.  I think it’s the brain’s way of
protecting itself.”

I grunted. 
“I wish mine would do the same.  I could certainly live without remembering her
like this.”

My mom
patted me.  “You’re doing great.  This is the worst of things, honey.  Things
will get better for her from here on out.”

Unless
she can never walk again,
I thought. 
I wonder how she will feel about
me then, knowing I put her in a wheelchair for the rest of her life?

I couldn’t
even imagine her in a situation like that.  Images of the girl who’d been
tossed into the air, and went tumbling in flips and cartwheels across the gym
floor filled my mind.  This couldn’t be the same girl I’d held in my arms just
a few short hours ago as we swayed together on the dance floor, touching and
caressing one another—the girl I should have been holding right now, wrapped
together in her own bed.

I clenched
my teeth, kicking myself for my selfishness.  My desires had brought this
tragedy on her.

“Would you
like to sit down?” Anna gestured to a chair and a rolling stool.

“I’ll take
the stool,” I said to my mom, wanting her to be more comfortable in the chair.

She pushed
it over, and I sat, leaning my head on the bed near mine and Nikki’s clasped
hands.

I didn’t
know how I would be able to ever make this up to her, but I did know one
thing—I wasn’t leaving her side until I helped her get better.  If that meant I
had to quit the team, school, college, whatever, I would do it.  I owed it to
her.

“Sounds like
we’re having a hard night in here,” a new voice said, and I looked up to see
another doctor in the doorway.

He made his
way over to Nikki, and the nurse stepped back so he could examine at her.  He
reached up and pulled a pair of latex gloves from a box on the wall, putting
them on while he studied her.

“Nikki.” He
gently shook her shoulder, trying to rouse her, and her eyes flickered open. 
“Hi, Nikki.  I’m Dr. Patrick, the plastic surgeon who’s on call tonight.  I’m
going to be taking a look at these cuts on your face and sewing them back up
for you. Okay?”

“Thank you,”
she whispered, sounding exhausted.  “Can Chase stay with me?”

The doctor
turned to me.  “Are you Chase?”

I nodded.

“Do you have
a problem with seeing her get stitches?”

“No.  I can
take it.”

“Then I
guess he can stay,” Dr. Patrick replied to Nikki with a smile.

Nikki slept
again, and the doctor and nurse began to set up something called a sterile
field around her, covering her face and head until only her injuries were still
exposed.  They laid out several items along with different needles and threads.

“She won’t
feel this, will she?” I asked, not wanting her to have to go through any more
discomfort.

“She won’t
feel a thing after we numb her up,” Anna assured.  “We’ll be giving her a local
anesthesia to help with that.”

I sighed and
laid my head back on the bed next to her.  I was suddenly so very tired.

“Chase?  Do
you need to go home and get some rest?”

“No,” I
said, not moving.

“I’m sure
she’d understand.  You’ve been up all day and all night.”

“I told her
I wouldn’t leave.  I meant it.  You can go if you would like.  I’ll be okay.”

“I’ll wait
with you until they get her situated in her room.”

“I’m not
leaving then either,” I said, feeling a stubborn streak coming on.  “I’ll sleep
in a chair in her room or something.”

“They
actually have a couch in the room you can lay on,” Anna spoke up.

“Perfect.”

To her
credit, my mom didn’t argue with me.  We sat silently, watching the doctor
stitch Nikki’s skin back together as the nurse assisted him.  I was glad to see
the gaping wounds being closed again, and the shape of her face returning to
somewhat normal looking despite the swelling and stitches.  They wrapped that
side of her face and the rest of her head in fresh bandages, covering her dirty
matted hair beneath.

“Okay.  She’s
looking really good,” the doctor spoke to my mom.  “She’ll have some thin scar
lines when she heals, and they’ll be red at first, but eventually should fade
out nicely.  Hopefully she will be able to cover it up fairly well with makeup,
but if it bothers her too much we can readdress those issues for her if she
would like.”

“Thank you
for all your help,” my mom said, moving to shake his hand after he removed his
gloves.

“No
problem.  Happy to do it.  They should be coming in to move her to a room
soon.  You all have a good night.”  He smiled and left.