120 days... (26 page)

Evan

Sam got up as quietly as she could and made her way to the bathroom. This was the third morning in a row she had gotten sick. With shaking hands, she reached over and grabbed the wet cloth to wipe her face. She was beginning to get worried. While it was mostly only first thing in the morning, there were still times throughout the day when she was nauseous. The last thing she wanted was for Ethan to worry about her. For so many years, it had just been her. She had no one to rely on, and at that moment, she couldn’t depend on Ethan. She hadn’t been completely honest with him, really with anyone. She knew that once she and Ethan became close, she should have opened up to him, but she didn’t know how to. What words could she say? She was kicking herself for letting things get as far as they had.

Sitting for a few moments to make sure her vomiting was over, Sam admitted to herself there was nothing she could have done. There was no way either one of them could have stopped what was going to happen. There was no choice involved with who or when you fell in love. At that point, all she could do was hold on and hope for the best when she finally told him everything.

Her phone rang from the bedside. Quickly, she went to answer it, hoping it hadn’t woken Ethan up yet; he still had a half an hour to sleep. “Hello,” she whispered and walked out of the room.

“It’s Kris,” said Phil.

“I’ll be right there.” She disconnected the call and turned to go back into the bedroom to get dressed and ran right into Ethan. “Geez. You scared me,” she squeaked.

“Everything okay?” His voice was gruff with sleep.

She shook her head. “No, Kris isn’t going to make it much longer.”

“Dammit.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not sure when I’ll be back, so–”

“So nothing, I’m coming with you.”

“Ethan . . .”

“Don’t ‘Ethan’ me, you know I’m going. For Christ’s sake, Sam, he’s the first guest I checked in. I made sure he had the best time at the football game. It’s something I couldn’t do for Evan, but I could do for Kris. This is different.”

Sam’s heart went out to him. She knew not being there for his brother had been eating at him, and that making sure Kris had an experience of a lifetime, helped in some small way. “I know, Ethan, but this isn’t going to be easy. It’s going to be harder than any before.”

“I know. Patty was hard, and this one will be too. It wouldn’t make it any easier if I wasn’t there, if I walked away and did something else.” He took her face in his hands. “Samantha, I’m here for the long haul. Doesn’t matter if things are smooth sailing or rough weather. I need to do this.”

“Will you let me help you?” she asked him.

“I’ll always need you.”

He pulled her up in his arms and they held tightly onto each other, knowing another guest would be leaving within the next day or so, and there was nothing they could do but be there for him.

The tumor in the back of Kris’s head had grown so large he had no control of anything from his neck down. Ethan had helped feed him when he wanted something to eat and joked with him when he was awake, but most of their time was spent in silence since the pressure on his brain was too much.

Sam would come in every hour and stay for a little bit, but Ethan wanted the responsibility. He knew it was hard for her. Sam felt it was her duty to take care of everyone who came to the resort. But that time, it was Ethan’s and she didn’t know how to completely let go.

She had just left and it was only Kris, Ethan and Phil, the nurse on duty. Ethan looked at the clock. It was eleven at night. It was Ethan’s second night by Kris’ bedside. He hadn’t left the night before, wanting to make sure someone was there for Kris if he woke up.

“Hey,” Kris’s soft voice slurred from the bed. “Make sure my girls get the ball.”

Ethan didn’t have to ask him to explain. He knew exactly what he meant, the game ball. “You know I will.”

“Make sure they know . . . I’ll be looking out for them.” He tried to raise his hand to point up, but couldn’t.

“I will. They’ll know you’ll be there for them.” Ethan leaned in closer to the man he’d grown so close to in such a short time. “Listen, buddy, I can see you’re holding on, but it’s time to move on. It’ll be okay. I’ll stay with you.”

“I don’t want to leave,” Kris whispered.

“There’s something better waiting for you. All that’s left for you here is pain. You’ve done what you were put on this earth for. Now it’s time for your next journey.”

“I don’t know how.”

“Just let go.” Ethan bowed his head. “Yea, thou I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. You are not alone, Kris. He is waiting for you.”

Silently, Ethan held Kris’s hand and continued to pray for the man as he slowly let go. His breathing became shallower and there were times it stopped altogether, then would start up again, before finally going silent.

Ethan didn’t leave his side as all the machines were turned off and phone calls were made. When he looked up and saw Sam standing in the doorway, he nearly lost it. He wasn’t sure how it could get any easier. Was it really something he could do, day in, day out? Sometimes, they ended up having a couple of deaths a week. He wasn’t naïve; he knew people came in and out of people’s lives all the time. But to be surrounded by death, even doing something so good, took its toll.

Sam came over and sat down in the chair on the other side of the bed and picked up Kris’s hand, saying her own silent prayer for the man they’d just lost.

Day 50

Ethan–

Considering I’m dying, the doctor said I was doing really well. I’ll take it. Doesn’t it always work that way, as soon as you go to the doctor you start to feel better? That’s me today. We’ve got another new guest today, Bruce. He’s an awesome old guy, and can still run circles around me on the basketball court. I blame the fact I’m not 100 percent.

Evan

Sam always hated to go down into the city so soon after someone passed. There was something about the resort, working it, helping other people that healed her after another death. She’d learned quickly that when she went into the city, it was almost as if the trip sucked the life out of her. The hustle and bustle, everyone only thinking of themselves, shoving people out of their way to get what they want. But she couldn’t put it off any longer; she had to visit the doctor.

Sitting in the cold exam room in one of those dreadful gowns, she kicked her feet back and forth to the rhythm of the music they piped in to help you relax. She never understood why they made you sit like that for so long. At least in the waiting room, she could people watch, or read, or do something besides look at inspirational posters.

There was a soft knock on the door and Dr. Sanders opened it up and peeked his head in. “Hey, Sam, didn’t expect to see you so soon.” He came all the way in and shook her hand. “You aren’t due back for another four months.”

“I know, but I’ve been getting sick, throwing up every morning. Since it’s something out of the ordinary, I wanted to get in to talk to you about it since it isn’t going away.”

“Hmm . . . How long as this been going on?”

“About a week.”

“Have you been able to eat?”

“Not in the mornings, but after about ten I can.”

“What about any medication, have you been able to take anything?”

Sam blushed. “See that’s the other thing, I haven’t been able to take them in the morning. I know we don’t want me to go too long without taking them.”

“Samantha–”

“I know, it’s just the nausea is so bad.”

“Hmm . . .” He turned from her and started tapping the keys on the laptop. “Well, that’s interesting . . .”

“What? What’s interesting?”

Dr. Sanders sat there tapping his finger on the edge of the desk before he turned to her. “Are you sexually active?”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Umm . . . yes.”

“You need to take a pregnancy test.”

“But . . . but . . .” Her mind couldn’t form the right words.

“Sam, let’s get this taken care of. This is the easiest thing to either rule out or confirm. I’ll have the nurse come in to get you, and in about fifteen minutes, we’ll have a better idea of what we’re dealing with.”

She didn’t notice him leave the room.
Pregnant.
She couldn’t be. There was no possible way. When the nurse came in, she let her lead her to the bathroom where she went through the mechanics of taking the test and tried not to laugh, or cry.

There was no way she was going to be able to sit down. As soon as she got back to the examination room, Sam paced back and forth in the small space while she waited on the results. When the door finally opened, she all but leapt at the doctor to rip the piece of paper out of his hands to read it herself. She cursed the fact that the doctor had a good poker face.

“Have a seat, Sam.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Well, I want you to.” He folded his arms across his chest. “How long have we known each other? Give an old man a break and sit down so I can.”

“Fine.” She plopped down on the exam table. “Happy.”

“Yes. Now, I’m sure you’re wondering about the results.” He fiddled with some papers in his file. “It seems like you are going to have some serious thinking to do, Sam . . . because you’re pregnant.”

“No, no.” She shook her head as a smile spread across her face. She’d always wanted children. “But you said I couldn’t get pregnant.”

Dr. Sanders shook his head. “I said it would be extremely difficult for you to get pregnant, about a 1 percent chance. Not that it was impossible.”

It took her a few minutes to process what he was saying and go back years to when he’d first said it to her to realize he was right. “What do I do now?”

“First thing, discontinue any medication you are taking. The nurse will go over with you if there is anything you need to decrease the dosage, and those that you can stop cold turkey. You’re going to stop everything until you decide exactly what it is you want to do and know what all the risks involve for you and the baby.”