120 days... (28 page)

Ethan stood in the lobby of the hotel with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes glued to the elevators. The staff wouldn’t tell him what room she was in, but he sure as hell could stand there until she came out of the elevators. It may not be his town, but people still knew his name there, and knew he didn’t mess around, and the staff wanted to keep their jobs. He could buy this hotel and level it within a week if he wanted.

He could have found out her room number, but he didn’t want to scare her, and he had a feeling his poker face hadn’t made the trip with him. People were steering clear of him, and if he barked an order, they were jumping to make sure it was done as quickly as possible.

Finally, the elevator dinged and she walked out. He could tell she had been sick; he should have seen it the other mornings if he’d been paying attention and not seeing what he wanted to see instead of what was really there. He was just as pissed off at himself as he was with her.

She froze as soon as she saw him. Since she wasn’t coming to him, he strode over to her. “Miss Truman, would you like to explain yourself?”

“Ethan . . .”

He crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow at her. “Is that all you have to say?”

“I can’t . . . not now . . .”

“See, that’s where you are wrong. Don’t you think I can’t see that you were sick again this morning, and the fact that you ran away from me and
lied
makes me wonder just what the hell is going on. I suggest you start talking, and fast.”

“Ethan, I can’t, not now. I’m late for an appointment.”

“Yes, your
doctor’s
appointment. . . . Don’t look so surprised. Remember, I have more money than I know what to do with, and it usually,”—he looked over at the front desk—“opens every single door I want opened. You can either tell me what is going on, or I can find out from your doctor.”

“You can’t do that. There’s laws that protect my privacy.”

He leaned down so they were eye to eye. “Want to push me a little more and see what laws I’m willing to break to find out what you’re hiding from me?”

They stood there staring each other down. Ethan knew he had the upper hand. She lived by the book, one to always follow the rules. He, on the other hand, didn’t mind bending them if needed.

“Fine. Here.” She stuck out her room key. “I’m in room 388. We’ll talk when I get back.”

“Why can’t I go with you?”

She sighed and her eyes filled with tears. She blinked, trying to hold them back. “Because, for this, I need to go alone.” She placed her hand on his shoulder. “I promise, let me go to this one alone, and you can go to every other one in the future.”

“Sam, you’re scaring me. Are there going to be many others?”

“It’ll be okay. I shouldn’t be too long. Wait for me.”

“Forever and always.” He kissed her forehead and watched her walk away from him. Absently, he rubbed his hand over his heart. The dread was back, and its claws had a death grip on his heart.

Ethan couldn’t sit still while he waited for her. Pulling his laptop out of his car, he set about doing more research on the gold mine. There had to be some truth behind the rumors. Every rumor had at least some truth to it. Maybe it was only one little fact, but the rumor had to be built on something, and he was going to find out what it was.

He spent a couple of hours going over the ranch’s history, the people who spent time there, making notes and trying to figure out what he could to unravel the mystery of the gold mine. He knew it was going to end up being the key to giving Sam the security she needed for the future. Somehow, he knew she’d never just accept his money as hers.

When he heard the electronic lock click, he stood up and went to the door, holding open for her. He couldn’t help himself; he lifted her up in his arms and walked over to the bed where he sat down and kept her on his lap. He couldn’t believe how much he missed having her in his arms. Everything seemed all right with the world when she was there with him.

He could feel her body trembling and it scared him more than anything. Leaning back from her, he looked at her face and sure enough, her eyes were huge and her chin quivered. “Oh, honey.” He hugged her tightly, not knowing what monsters he needed to slay for her. All he knew was that seeing her distressed was killing him. “Tell me.”

“Just a few more minutes. Please. I need a few more minutes like this.”

“Sure, sure.” He rocked back and forth, hoping to calm them both.

She started playing with the buttons on his shirt. “After my parents died, I had some tests done. I wanted to be prepared for what might be heading my way. If there was any way I could shrink my chances of getting cancer, I was going to do it, no matter what it was. There is genetic testing you can do, where they can see if you have cancer markers. I did. Colon cancer, just like my dad. I couldn’t just cut my colon out and not worry about it, so we watched, and they were able to put me on what we call preventative chemo maintenance. Every six months, I go in and have scans done to make sure nothing is showing up.”

Ethan felt like his world was crumbling around him. “But you have your hair, and you don’t get sick.”

“Not everyone gets sick on chemo, and it all depends on the cocktail they give you if you are going to lose your hair or not. And honestly, I did get sick in the beginning, but we found the perfect dose for me. It hasn’t impacted my life, but for a couple of hours every few weeks.”

“Does anyone at the resort know?” The thought of the staff knowing and not saying anything to him was going to seriously piss him off.

She shook her head. “No one knows. I can’t have them treating me differently, treating me more like a guest and not the owner.”

“Tell me the rest.” If he knew everything, he might be able to fix it.

“A few years ago, a few spots showed up on my colon; they were cancerous. But because of the scans, we caught it in time and it was, all things considered, a minor surgery and they were removed. They adjusted my chemo, and all my tests have come back normal since then. Last Resort has helped me just as much as it’s helped others. Based on my medical history, I shouldn’t be here now. If I hadn’t taken those proactive steps years ago, things would be different now. If I didn’t have all those people depending on me, I wouldn’t be here. Because, every single guest who came to me to help them live a few extra weeks, they’ve given me extra years.”

“But why are you seeing a specialist?”

She got up off his lap, walked over to the window and looked out. “Between the radiation in all of the scans and the ongoing chemo, the odds of me being able to have children was slim.” She gave a humorless laugh. “I thought it was impossible. Turns out I wasn’t listening close enough.” Turning back toward him, she fidgeted with her fingers. “I’m pregnant.”

“Wait . . . what?” Slowly, he stood up.

“I’m pregnant with your child.”

He pointed toward her belly. “What about all the medication? Is it possible? Healthy?” His vision tunneled until all he saw was her. There were too many emotions flowing through him to identify.

“As it stands right now, yes. I haven’t been able to take any of my pills since I started getting sick. And this was my week to go in for the juice. At this point, there shouldn’t be any adverse side effects.”

“At this point . . .” He felt like he couldn’t keep up, wasn’t fully understanding her words over the sound of his own frantic heartbeat.

“Yes, that’s why I went to this specialist. If there is anyone who can make sure both our baby and I survive this pregnancy, it’s him.”

“Wait.” All of the blood drained out of his head and he sat down quickly. “Explain. What do you mean
both
of you survive?” He felt like he was on the edge of a cliff and the rocks started shifting under him.

“There is a chance one or both of us could die.”

“No. No.” He shook his head. “I don’t accept that. How in the hell do you think I’m just going to accept something like this? You can’t die. Dammit, no. I can’t lose you.” His body started to shake. “Give me a minute.” He stood up and tried to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other as he went over to his laptop. “I can figure this out. I can fix this. I can’t lose you.” His voice shook with emotion he couldn’t hide.

“Ethan,” Sam said quietly from next to him.

“No, my brother wouldn’t let me do anything to help him. I’m not going to sit by and do nothing for you.” His words sped out of his mouth, tumbling into one another. “This doctor, you may think he’s the best, but we’ll see about that. I don’t care what it costs, or where we have to go. I’m not going to lose you. I’m not going to lose either of you.” Frantically, his fingers flew across the keyboard.

“Ethan.” She placed her hand over his. “Stop. There’s nothing you can do right now. We have to take each step. Right now, I’m fine.”

He turned haunted eyes toward her. His life had been ripped from him, again. First his parents, then Evan, and now Samantha, and their baby. My God, there was a child growing inside of her, the awe of the fact that they’d created something so wonderful together amazed him. But then maybe the cancer would be growing as their baby did. Cancer could be spreading throughout her body this very second. The thought of burying everything and everyone he’d ever loved hit him like a sledgehammer and he dropped hard to his knees in front of her. Wrapping his arms around her, he rested his head on her belly where their child grew, and cried at the thought of what was to come.

Day 59

Ethan–

I’m trying not to get excited, but tomorrow is day sixty. Such a small number that means so much more to me now than it did before I found out I had cancer. Every day is a gift.

Growing up, I always looked up to you. As my big brother, you were larger than life. I swear I thought you had super powers, everything always went your way. Even after Mom and Dad were killed and we lost the house, what you did to make sure I was taken care of and protected . . . As an adult, I can appreciate everything you did for me. Because of you, I am the man I am.

Thank you

Evan

They lay wrapped in each other’s arms on the bed, Ethan absently playing with a lock of her hair. He needed her close. He felt completely empty, completely void of emotion. There was nothing left for him to grieve. Once Sam started crying, he’d stopped. He knew tears weren’t going to help anything and he didn’t want to make it harder on her than it already was. All he wanted was to go back to how things were two days earlier, forget the last three hours had happened, but that wasn’t an option. They both had their moments to wallow in sadness, but now, they needed to plan.

“What happens next?”

“Tests, tests, and more tests.” She sighed. “The doctor said that was pretty much going to be my life until the baby comes.”

“Which is when?”

“June ninth.”

“June. Eight months.” He rolled over and looked down at her. “You are one of the strongest people I’ve ever known, but I have to ask, are you strong enough for this? Don’t brush me off. Seriously, I need you to think ahead. What if we are in May and something goes wrong, and the baby doesn’t make it. Can you survive that?”