151 Days (60 page)

So walking onto the lot was probably as much a surprise as him walking into my shop would have been.

He was in his office on the phone, and once he saw me walk in, he hung up and began to head out to the lobby. One of his salesmen came up to me with the same demeanor a golden retriever would have if you were holding a ball—too eager and way too slobbery. “Can I help you?” he asked, which sounded way too much like “Throw the ball?” to me.

Nathan came up behind him and patted him on the shoulder. “I got him, Keith.”

Keith walked away like he had been kicked repeatedly.

“Tyler,” he said, once the salesman was out of earshot. “Here for a car?”

I shook my head. “Nope, I needed to talk to you.”

I had to give him credit; he was a very good salesman because his smile didn’t waver an iota. “No, you’re here to see a car,” he said forcefully. “If we talk while you look, then that happens as well.”

I suddenly understood.

“Yeah, show me the red one,” I said, pointing to a midlife-crisis special, complete with shiny rims and all.

“Pete,” he called out behind him. “Toss me the keys to the coupe, will you?”

Pete took a set of keys off a pegboard and tossed them across the salesroom. We walked outside, and he asked, “Mind if I drive?”

“Be my guest,” I said, getting into the passenger side.

He turned the engine over, and the car purred like it was alive. He gave me a grin as the automatic seat belts locked us in. “Hold on.” The second the car was tossed into drive, we took off like a bullet. I know I wasn’t in the market to buy a new vehicle, but it was hard not to want this car just a little by the way the dealership faded into the rearview mirror like a distant memory. “So talk,” he said as we pulled out onto the interstate, leaving town.

I began to explain to him what Robbie and I wanted to do and the reasons why. Nathan said nothing as I went over the key points of our plan and then the thoughts behind it. This went on for about ten minutes, until he pulled over in the middle of nowhere. He turned the car off and got out. From the look on his face, he was no longer trying to sell me the car. I got out, not sure what was going on but pretty sure I had fucked it up once again.

“I’m just curious, do you really think I’m that bad a father?” I opened my mouth to answer but honestly had no idea what to say to that. “Do you think my son needs your help?”

I shook my head. “I’m not saying Brad
needs
anything. I’m just saying we want to help him.”

“And I can’t do that?” Nathan demanded.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Didn’t you? Aren’t you saying I can’t take care of my son, and you and your
friend
are more than willing to help him?”

“It’s not like that, Nate,” I assured him. “Brad is a good kid, and him and Kyle deserve every chance to make it work.”

“And I will give him that chance,” he raged back at me. “I don’t need someone else coming along trying to be his dad. He has one.”

“I am not trying to be his dad and neither is Robbie. What Brad did was… well, shit, it was braver than anything you or I could have done back in the day, and you know it. Could you imagine telling a college to go fuck themselves after they offered you a full ride? He shouldn’t get punished for that. He should be rewarded. He should be fucking celebrated, and that’s all we are trying to do. You’re his father, Nathan. I’m just trying to be a supportive friend.”

“Why do you care so much about my son?” he asked, his eyes narrow with suspicion.

And that was when I lost it. “Oh, of course, I forgot. I’m a faggot, so I can’t have friendships with anyone unless there’s an ulterior motive, right? Doesn’t matter if I’m in a relationship or even that you’re talking about a teenager. I
have
to want to get into your son’s pants because I’m a pervert, right? Is that what you’re asking, Nathan?”

He didn’t say a word, but we both knew that was exactly what he was saying.

“You can’t be that stupid, Nate,” I went on. “You have to know what an incredible kid Brad is. He has a thousand times the guts I ever had at that age. I’m not sexually attracted to him, you asshole. I’m blown away by the decisions he has made, and I want to celebrate that. And by the way, if I was some dirty fucking creep, I wouldn’t have told you a thing about this. I would have just done it, and you would have never known. This isn’t about you or me, Nathan. This is about him and Kyle and showing them that the entire world is not against them. Can you look past your own shit and see what we’re trying to do here?”

He looked away, out across the endless horizon that made up the Texas landscape, and sighed. “You know, I thought he really made a mistake turning A&M down. I just thought, why not shut up and do what they say? How hard can that be?” He shook his head. “I swear, I could have never walked away from that like he did.”

I stood there as the wind howled around us.

“I know I didn’t teach him that,” he said finally. “That was all his mother, and I had never been so proud of him.” He leaned against the hood of the car and shook his head. “I’ve been a shitty father, and your offer just made it sound like you were trying to rub that in.”

“I swear to you, we weren’t.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I get that now.” He looked out across the nothing. “He is going to graduate and leave town with that boy, and he is never going to talk to me again. I did it with my father, and he did it to his. I really thought I was going to be different.”

“Nate,” I said, putting a hand for assurance on his shoulder. “He loves you, trust me. You aren’t losing him at all. He’s just growing up.”

He looked at me and then back to my hand. “I’m really not one for touching.”

I took my hand off, and he thanked me.

“Okay, sure, you and your friend want to do that, be my guest. Just wait until it’s closer to graduation, can you?” I gave him a questioning look. “I just want to be his favorite dad for a little while longer. Once his gay dads get in on it, I don’t have a chance.”

He gave me a smile, and I knew it was going to be okay.

“So about this car…,” he said as we got back in.

By the time we got back to the dealership, I was almost ready to trade in my Jeep.

So I saw Brad and his team win state, all the while drawing up the papers with Robbie to get it done. It was after the school assembly where the Walker kid got his A&M papers that Jennifer pulled me aside in the lunchroom. “I need your help,” she said as the crowd went wild.

I took a couple of glances to the stage as Josh pulled Brad to the podium. “What’s up?” I asked her, already feeling weird for being a grown man on campus.

She began to talk, and I began to smile, it seems I was not the only one with plans.

I couldn’t wait to tell Robbie.

“You’re joking,” he said when I told him.

“I am not,” I said, not commenting that he looked 1,000 percent better since we last talked. “So what do you say now?”

He took a sip of his coffee and finally admitted, “I’m shocked. Which makes my decision even easier.”

“And that is?”

“I’m moving,” he said simply. I stared at him, openmouthed. “Back home. To Long Island.” I just gaped. “Oh for Gaga’s sake, close your mouth. You look like the world’s gayest trout.”

I closed my mouth. “You’re really leaving?”

He nodded. “After they graduate, I’m out.”

I wasn’t sure what to say, so I just sat there and stared into my coffee.

“Oh please. I thought you’d be doing backflips,” he teased.

“But, we were just… I thought….” I was babbling. “I just thought we were getting back to being friends.”

He sighed and put his coffee down. “One, we were never friends. You were Riley’s friend, and I liked you for that. Two, what did we ever have in common except him? You and I would never have even talked if it wasn’t for him.” With every word, I felt my stomach just souring. “And three, we are friends, you idiot.” I looked up, and he was smiling. “What, you never heard of the Internet and this new invention called an airplane?” I smiled back. “God, you really are lucky you have that face because seriously, you’re as dense as a rock.”

“Can we hug?” I asked, standing up.

“Don’t push it,” he warned, and I sat back down. “And stop looking like a dog that just got caught peeing on the carpet. I said we were friends. Don’t push it.”

I didn’t.

T
HE
NIGHT
of the prom, Matt was gone getting stuff done when I knocked on Brad’s door. Nathan answered and gave me a warm smile and a handshake. “If it isn’t the other dad.”

I shook his hand back. “Part-time. You can have the holidays and every other weekend.”

He laughed and let me in. “Brad, you have a visitor.”

A couple of seconds later, Brad came down from upstairs. “Tyler?” he asked, confused as to why I was there.

I began to walk up the stairs. “Hey, got a few seconds?”

“Um, I was about to head over to Kyle’s,” he warned. “We’re going to spend the night watching movies, pretending the prom isn’t going on somewhere else.”

“Yeah, Kyle isn’t there,” I said, following him into his room. He paused and turned around to look at me. “Get dressed—something nicer than jeans and a shirt.”

“Where is Kyle?” he asked, not moving.

“Somewhere other than his house,” I said, smiling. “Clothes, nicer than that. Now,” I ordered, picking up a pretty cool-looking baseball-shaped clock from his nightstand. “We’re on the clock.”

He grabbed some clothes from the closet and walked into his bathroom. From the other side of the door, he called out, “What clock?”

“Dress faster,” I said, tossing the ball up into the air.

Five minutes later he walked out in khaki slacks and a button-up shirt. He held his arms out. “Better?” he asked.

I looked at him and shook my head. “Need a tie and some kind of jacket.”

He growled as he stomped to his closet. “Would be easier if you just told me what I was dressing for.”

“Hey, you know you’re right?” I said, sounding surprised. He looked at me expectantly. “But I’m not, so jacket and tie, and something other than sneakers.”

He growled under his breath and pulled a blazer on and began to knot his tie. “Anything else I need? Cologne? Condom? Shot of whiskey?”

“Maybe less talk and more changing?” I offered.

He flipped me off as he slipped on a pair of loafers. He stood up and turned toward me. “Better?”

I assure you, Brad did absolutely nothing for me sexually, but I had to admit, he was a good-looking young man. I wonder how far I would have gotten at his age with a guy like him by my side. “You look perfect,” I said, getting up. “Come on, let’s move.”

He followed me out of his room. “Move to where?”

I didn’t say a word as I walked toward the front door. “See you later, Nathan.”

From another room I heard him call back, “You guys have fun.”

Brad’s eyes looked like they were going to fall out as we walked out. “How did you do that? My dad would have grilled me on where I was going.”

“Didn’t you know?” I said, getting into my Jeep. “I got mad skills.”

He rolled his eyes as he climbed in. “So, a hint?”

I zipped my lips shut as we backed out of the driveway.

He sighed and looked out the window in silence.

R
OBBIE

S
O
I
lost it, and then I got better.

Happy?

Maybe Tyler was right. Maybe I was just sitting here waiting to die. Maybe for once in his Neanderthal life he had
one
decent thought in that pretty, pretty head, and maybe, just maybe, his words got through. It’s not like he invented fire or something, so let’s not dwell on it, shall we? Instead let’s look at his idea on how to get me to alleviate the guilt of having all this money Riley left me.

And before you start to think how stupid I was to not just keep it and be done with it, let me explain how guilt works, my dear. You see, anything I bought with that money, anything at all, would remind me how it was purchased, which would be with money that came from Riley’s death. Now you might be able to somehow get around that kind of soul-crushing experience, but I assure you, I couldn’t. Bad enough I lived in a tomb of everything that once belonged to the man I loved, because I refused to throw anything of his away in case I forget even the smallest part of him. But to add
new
things that would be associated with his absence was just too much to ask of my brain and my heart.

So Tyler came up with a way to enact
Brewster’s Millions
without the comic genius of Richard Pryor.

I have to admit, his solution was a little ingenious, especially coming from Tyler. I would expect that kind of problem solving from Matt. He has that annoyingly smart look about him, but coming out of Tyler’s mouth, it was obviously a message from Madeline Kahn. Hey, you’re allowed to call God by whatever name you want. I’ll refer to her as I want to, okay?

What I wasn’t expecting was the universe to open up and show me that I might have had the wrong idea about Foster.

This was how I found myself knocking on Kyle’s door the night of the prom, knowing I was about to change the poor boy’s life forever. He answered the door in a pair of sweats and a T-shirt that looked like it was about three thousand miles past its expiration date. “You’re early. Did you pick up the….”

He saw me standing there with a suit bag over one arm and a pair of shoes in the other.

“…movie?” he finished, shocked.

“Yeah, change of plans,” I said, walking past him into the house. “I’m gonna need you to take a shower, burn what you’re wearing, and then put these on.” I handed him the suit bag. “And we’re on the clock, so you need to hustle before you go turn into a pumpkin.” He just stood there, not sure what was going on. “Though I will admit I do enjoy it, right now I’m not talking for my own amusement. So shower, burn those, wear that. Simple enough?”

“What’s going on?” he said, kicking the door closed with his foot and setting the suit bag on the back of a chair. “Because if this is some lame ‘fake prom’ at Nancy’s with like three people, I don’t want to go.”