18 Things (10 page)

Tammy nodded just as I spotted Loria and Mom coming down the stairs with cheese and veggie trays.

Perfect timing
. I glanced at my watch. 8:00 p.m. I nodded to Tammy, signaling for her to make the announcement.

“Holla, holla, holla!” she shouted, holding up the radio. “Shh! Olga has a surprise.”

A few seconds later, the DJ delivered the introduction. “It’s time! Every Saturday at eight o’clock I play ya something new. So, here’s one from a local teen band called Cantankerous Monkey Squad. Today, I met their biggest fan, Olga Worontzoff, and asked her how the band got their name. She said their lead singer, Conner Anderson, thought of it. Their self-titled debut explains it all. Here’s to you, Conner; may you rest in peace as your music plays on.”

Everyone listened quietly, seeming to savor the moment just as much as I did. Kyle tapped out the drumbeat over the speakers, Sean strummed his guitar, and Conner belted out the lyrics. “Down on Washington Street/ I saw a deal I couldn’t beat/ Fifteen dollars for a cymbal-banging cantankerous monkey/ I thought to myself, ain’t that funky/ You had a red and white striped shirt and yellow pants/ But there was something disturbing I didn’t see at first glance/ Red rings painted around wide open eyes/ Could take home Most Scary prize/ I reached into my wallet, but it was empty/ But that’s okay, ‘cause Mom and Dad have plenty/ So I’ll just wait till I come around/ Back to this side of town/ That night, I’m sitting at my coffee table/ Wondering if I’m able/ Coming up with the band name is the hardest part/ I wish I could shop for one at Discount Mart/ Then, I remembered those cymbals in your hands/ And I knew what to call the band/ Cantankerous Monkey Squad/ Our problem finally solved/ I screamed Oh My Gawd, Oh My Gawd/ Next day, I walked back to Washington Street/ Not caring at all about Grand Haven’s heat/ But the cashier said we’re all sold out/ And I became the same boy who used to pout/ But I’ll always remember the way you bobbed your head/ Cantankerous Monkey Squad is what you said.”

After the three-minute stint ended, the song was rewarded with applause, and goose bumps spread over my arms and legs. Then, Robert’s firm hand was on my shoulder, Loria next to him. We just stood there for what seemed like a long time. I think each of us tried hard not to cry, to say something meaningful. But words failed to express what we felt, so silence hung in the air. Sometimes, I realized, you just had to show up, to be there for someone. No matter what my future held, Robert and Loria had been a huge part of my past, and a piece of them would always go with me. I was glad I came tonight, after all.

“That was really special,” Robert finally said.

Loria leaned closer. “Thank you. And I want you to know, we don’t blame you for what happened. I’m sorry if it seemed like we did, at the hospital. We were hurting, but we should’ve handled it better. You were always like a second daughter to us, and we loved you like Conner did. If you ever need anything—she tilted her head toward Robert, seeming to draw strength from him to get the words out—“you have our number.”

Then, she ducked her head, avoiding eye contact as tears fell, and walked away.

I broke into a cold sweat as Robert followed her across the yard. Leaning to the left, I stole a marshmallow off the paper plate in Nicole’s lap, then shoved the sugary substance in my mouth, fighting the urge to cry.

“You’re supposed to toast that first, silly girl,” Nate said, handing me a skewer. He stood, his back to me for a moment, then handed another metal stick to Sean.

“Here you go, buddy.”

“Wow. What a gentleman this guy is, fixing my marshmallow stick for me and everything”—Sean held it in the air in a toast—“To Olga, for getting our song on the air.” He placed the wooden skewer over the fire.

I studied Nate’s face like it was the most important thing in the world, searching for his motive for doing something so oddly kind. As he plopped down on the glider again, I scooted closer to him and whispered, “What was that about?” I hoped this form of homosocial intimacy toward Sean was as far as their bromance went.

He slid his arm around me. “The least I can do for letting me in the band.”

“Wait, so it’s official?” I asked, because they’d only been practicing together for the past month, or messing around as they put it, making sure he’d be a good fit. I think they just hadn’t been ready to replace Conner yet, and of course, I could relate.

A huge burst of pops sounded like Independence Day came four days too early as Sean’s marshmallow stick exploded. Gooey fluff flew everywhere, like the scene in
Ghostbusters
when the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man blew to pieces.

“
What was that
?” Sean said, jumping back a step or two.

Nate’s face prominently featured a mischievous grin.

“Dude, did you just put my marshmallow on the end of a firecracker?”

Nate nodded, laughing.

“That’s freakin’
awesome
!”

They high-fived each other, and everyone burst into laughter.

“I knew that wasn’t just some random act of kindness,” I told Nate.

Sean took long, gasping breaths. “How’d you think of that, man?”

“These things just come to me. It’s not so hard to pull pranks when you’re surrounded by gullible people.”

“You kids be careful.” Mom propped her hands on her hips. “Someone could’ve really gotten hurt. What if Sean had gone to check on it and it exploded in his face? You could’ve shot his eye out!”

I rolled my eyes. “Relax, Mom. This is no
Christmas Story
.” I turned to Nate and took a bite of my s’more. Then, forgetting my manners, spoke with my mouth full. “You should put ‘pulling the perfect prank on your life list’,” I mumbled, the best my lips allowed, before shoving the rest of the s’more into my mouth.

His gaze darted around the fire, then to each of our friends. “But I don’t have a list. You do.”

I sighed. “Precisely, and I think we should change that. You should all write your own.”

“Mission number one accomplished,” Sean said. “Find a new singer.”

“I think I want to join or start a book club,” Tammy said, folding her long legs.

“Like school doesn’t provide you with enough reading homework for a lifetime,” Sean said.

Tammy waved her hand in the hand, as if dismissing his remark. “Please, I hardly ever do my homework. Popularity takes up a lot of time. But maybe I can put it to good use. Get kids to read and bring in some commission for Olga at The Bookman.”

I tried picturing Tammy reading an old classic like
Little Women
, but I couldn’t. Though the music blasting from the radio didn’t help my concentration any. “I don’t make commission.”

Tammy raised her eyebrows. “Really? Oh well. Truth is I only read magazines. I’m starting to feel a little ignorant since I started hanging out with you.”

Kyle held up his hands. “Wait, time-out. Starting to?”

Tammy gave him a purple-nurple that, no doubt, would’ve made school bullies everywhere proud.

“Mercy! Geez. It was a joke, girl. Way to defend your band mate,” he said to Nate and Sean.

They laughed.

“Sorry, dawg,” Sean said. “You got an idea for your list?”

Kyle turned to Tammy. “Just one. Would you like to go out with me?”

A light flickered across Tammy’s face as a car pulled out of the Anderson’s driveway. The headlights highlighted her blush. “Aww. Sure I would.”

“Okay, get ready to laugh,” Nicole said matter-of-factly. “I’m thinking maybe I can postpone college and live on a cruise ship for like five years. You know, save money for college. I could be their resident photographer and teach scrapbooking classes and stuff, since I absolutely love doing that and am actually good at it. Like Tammy here, I’m no bookworm.”

“Hey!” Tammy swatted at Nicole’s arm.

Nic tipped her head back toward the sky. “No offence. I don’t even have popularity as an excuse. And my parent’s own a bookstore.”

“Don’t sweat it, babe. You always have your looks to fall back on,” Sean said. Then, in a somewhat more serious tone, he turned to Nate. “You’ve been quiet over there.”

“I don’t know. Maybe just returning to the simpler things in life.” His voice was soft, and he stretched his hands behind his head. “Take up skateboarding again. Learn to play the piano. Adopt a dog from a shelter. Become a regular at a restaurant every Saturday morning. Pulling the perfect prank.” He looked right at me as he said all this, and I wondered what he saw when he looked at me.

“You said simple stuff sounded lame when I wrote mine.” I thought back to Memorial Day. Even though our beach picnic took place only a month ago, it was already so easy to imagine completing all the things on our lists together. Moving on still scared me, but it suddenly felt like it was happening with Nate.

“Only because that’s not what you needed, so I encouraged other things.”

I shook my finger at him. “Don’t get all Freud on me again.”

“Well, I’m down for Saturday morning breakfast,” Sean said.

“How about Morning Star Café?” Nicole rested her head on my shoulder. “Olga and I can meet ya’ll there before our shift every Saturday.”

Everyone nodded.

Reaching down, I fixed another s’more, then shoved it in my mouth. All this talk about food made me hungry.

“Enjoying yourself?” Tammy asked, grabbing her pack of cigarettes from her purse.

“Hmm, I can never get enough of this chocolaty goodness.”

Sean laughed hard, tossing his dread-locked hair. “Well, you might want to take it easy. A moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips.”

Nate joined me in my gluttony, smashing an entire s’more into his mouth, making a huge mess on his face while everyone chuckled.

“Sweet tasting all the way through, just like you,” he said, looking straight at me.

I glanced over his head toward Tammy who mouthed the words ‘I told you so,’ referring to our conversation earlier today when she claimed Nate was interested in being more than ‘friends.’

Standing, I collected everyone’s paper plates to distract myself. I needed a moment to absorb all this.

“Okay, I think you’ve fulfilled your corny comments quota for the day. Congratulations.” I winked at him and then headed to the trashcan at the side of the yard.

Ugh, did I just wink at him?

That moment of flirtation caught Mom’s attention. I swear she always watched me with eagle eyes. “You ready to go home?”

I tucked my hair behind my ears. “Um… I dunno. Do you and Dad want to leave?” I was surprised I didn’t want to head home, considering how badly I wanted to avoid coming here tonight. But I followed Mom’s line of sight to Tammy smoking her cigarette, and I knew Mom wasn’t really asking but
telling
me it was time to leave. She wasn’t a Tammy fan, and she always said hanging out with someone like her made me look ignorant.

Well, ignorance is bliss, right?

“Never, never, never give up.”
―Winston Churchill

onight, I attempted something else for the first time. I threw on a pair of jeans and a Grand Haven High Bucs sweatshirt at 2:00 a.m. to sneak out of my apartment. As I tiptoed out of my bedroom, worry jolted through me like I’d drank a dozen cups of coffee. My parents’ room was further down the hall, and they slept with their door shut. It only took me a few seconds to realize how easily I could sneak out of my house. We didn’t even lock our windows and doors. Ever. Dad said as soon as we needed deadbolts, we’d move. He was very big on safe, small-town living.