21 Ways to Finding Peace and Happiness (17 page)

Our goal is not to be self-confident but to have confidence in who we are in Christ. We should know the value of being children of God and the position it gives us. As children of God, we can pray boldly in faith, knowing that God hears and answers our prayers. We can look forward to the inheritance that is ours by virtue of our personal relationship with Jesus. We can enjoy righteousness, peace, joy, good health, prosperity, and success in all we lay our hands to do, intimacy with God through Jesus, and many other wonderful benefits.

We can develop godly character and be used mightily by God to lead others to Christ and help hurting people. Yes, our lives can be absolutely amazingly wonderful through Jesus; however, Satan is the deceiver, and as such, he seeks continually to steal what Jesus died to provide for us.

If you are not at peace with yourself, you won’t enjoy your life. You are one person you never get away from, not even for one second. You are everywhere you go, therefore, if you don’t like and accept yourself, you cannot possibly be anything other than miserable. Also, if we don’t accept ourselves, we will find it hard, if not impossible, to accept others.

Our faults stand between us and self-acceptance. We think that if we could only behave better, we could like ourselves. We are proud of our strengths, natural gifts, and talents, but we despise and are embarrassed by our weaknesses. We rejoice in our successes and feel depressed about our failures. We struggle and strive for perfection, but somehow it always eludes us. Our pursuit is in vain.

Andrew Murray said in his book
Consecrated to God
that we are “not perfected, yet perfect.”

P
ERFECT IN
C
HRIST

God’s Word states that if we are willing to share His sufferings, we shall also share His glory (see Romans 8:17). We have a command (or perhaps it is a promise) in Matthew 5:48: “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (NIV).

In the past, I had always received that verse as a harsh command, yet it could be God’s promise to us that because He is perfect and is working in us, we can also look forward to sharing in His perfection. I think the
Amplified Bible
makes the verse easier to understand: “You, therefore, must be perfect [growing into complete maturity of godliness in mind and character, having reached the proper height of virtue and integrity], as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

The apostle Paul said that although he had not already been made perfect, he pressed on toward the goal. He then said that those of us who are imperfect should be thus minded, to let go of what was behind (mistakes) and press on. In essence, he was saying that in God’s eyes, by faith in Jesus Christ, he was perfect, yet he was not totally perfected (see Philippians 3:12–15).

Was there ever a time when Jesus was not perfect? The answer must be no; we know that Jesus was and is always perfect, the spotless, sinless Lamb of God who was found worthy to take away our sins. Hebrews 7:28 confirms His perfection, saying, “For the Law sets up men in their weakness [frail, sinful, dying human beings] as high priests, but the word of [God’s] oath, which [was spoken later] after the institution of the Law, [chooses and appoints as priest One Whose appointment is complete and permanent], a Son Who has been made perfect forever.”

This Scripture tells us plainly that Jesus was made perfect forever, yet Hebrews 5:8–9 says that although He was a Son, He
learned
obedience through His sufferings and thereby
became
perfectly equipped to be the Author of our salvation. This makes it clear that He was perfect, yet was also being perfected. At each moment of His life, He was totally perfect, and yet He needed to be perfected through suffering in order to become our Savior.

Perfection is a state God’s grace places us into through our faith in Jesus Christ, and He works in and through us in degrees of glory. I saw my babies and my grandchildren as perfect. I even said many times as I looked at them, “You are perfect.” On the other hand, they had faults; they needed to mature, grow, and change.

We must learn to see ourselves in Christ, not in ourselves. Corrie ten Boom taught that if you look at the world, you will be oppressed, if you look at yourself, you will be depressed, but if you look at Jesus, you will be at rest. How true it is that if we look at ourselves—at what we are in our own abilities—we cannot be anything except depressed and totally discouraged. But when we look to Christ, “the author and perfecter of our faith,” we can enter His rest and believe that He is continually working in us (Hebrews 12:2 NIV).

According to Andrew Murray, there are degrees of perfection: perfect, more perfect, and most perfect. There is perfect and waiting to be perfected. This is simply another way of saying that God has made us to be perfect, and we are growing into it. It is like a child saying, “My mother gave me her wedding dress to use when I get married, and I am growing into it year by year. It is still my dress, even though it does not fit me yet.”

We always say, “Nobody is perfect.” What we mean is that nobody manifests perfect behavior, and that is a correct statement. Our behavior, however, is quite different from our identities. The Bible says that faith in Jesus makes us righteous, but in our experience, we don’t always do the right thing.

Well, if we are righteous, why don’t we always do right? Simply because we are still growing into people who do what is right. We do less and less wrong, and more and more right, the longer we serve God. Consider this verse: “For our sake He made Christ [virtually] to be sin Who knew no sin, so that in and through Him we might become [endued with, viewed as being in, and examples of] the righteousness of God [what we ought to be, approved and acceptable and in right relationship with Him, by His goodness]” (2 Corinthians 5:21).

I have said for years, “My
who
is completely different than my
do.
” In other words, who I am
in Christ
is one thing, and what I do
in myself
is a completely different thing altogether. We are to
become
examples of righteousness.

When we are born again, we receive new identities; God makes us His children, just as when my children were born, they became Meyers. They will never be more or less Meyers than they were on those days. In one moment of time, each became forever and completely a Meyer. Did they always act like a Meyer? Did they always act the way we would have liked our children who represent us to act? Of course not, but they were nonetheless Meyers.

Religion frequently teaches us to
do things right
(follow rules and regulations) to prove
we are right
with God. True Bible Christianity teaches the opposite: we cannot
do right
until God has
made us right
with Him, which He does at our new birth.

Second Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (NIV).

We suddenly become new creatures. I like to say we are new spiritual clay. We have in us the stuff we need in order to learn how to act the way God wants us to act.

It is vital for us to understand these things if we are to ever accept ourselves. We must believe that even though we are not where we need to be, neither are we where we used to be. We are, this very moment, perfect in God’s eyes and on our way to perfection.

S
ELF
-A
CCEPTANCE
I
S A
F
OUNDATION FOR
P
EACE

We have no foundation of peace if we don’t have peace with God and ourselves. Peace with God should take us to the foundational principle of having peace with ourselves. If God loves us unconditionally, then we can love ourselves unconditionally. If He accepts us, we should be able to accept ourselves. Peace within ourselves, which is self-acceptance, is based on God’s
having made us
perfect and righteous in Christ; it is not based on our own works and behavior.

In His Word, God refers to us (His believers) as being “holy.” Romans 12:1 says to offer our bodies a living sacrifice, “holy” and acceptable unto God. First Corinthians 3:17 explains that God’s temple is “holy,” and we (believers) are His temple. Ephesians 3:5 speaks of God’s “holy apostles (consecrated messengers) and prophets.” These Scriptures, and others like them, clearly show that God views us as holy, perfect, and righteous. We either accept it or we reject it, and the choice we make greatly affects how we view ourselves.

We are the house of God; we are His home. He has come to live in us; we are His new base of operation, so to speak. He works through us (His born-again children) to draw the world unto Himself.

He wants peace in His house! Have you ever screamed to your children, “I want some peace in this house”? I have, and chances are you have too. Hear God gently saying that to you right now, and come to terms of peace with who you are.

Accept yourself right where you are, and let God help you get to where you want to be. He loves and accepts you each step of the way. He is changing you from glory to glory (see 2 Corinthians 3:18). Get into agreement with God, and you will see new power in your life unlike anything you have experienced before.

Being at peace with yourself in light of who God is transforming you to become will give you a firm foundation upon which to build a good life. Remember, Satan wants you weak and powerless; God wants you to be strong and powerful, ready to enjoy life, so He can use you for His purposes on earth. But we cannot grow spiritually and become perfected for His use until we are at peace with ourselves.

A
RE
Y
OUR
F
AULTS
D
ISTRACTING
Y
OU?

To make spiritual progress, we need to keep our eyes on Jesus instead of ourselves. Hebrews 12:2 teaches us to look away from all that will distract us from Jesus, who leads us and is the Source of our incentive to have faith, and who will bring our faith to maturity and perfection.

When we keep our eyes (our thoughts) on everything that is wrong with us, it prevents us from paying attention to the Lord. We need to see everything that is right with Him and believe He is working to reproduce it in us rather than taking a continual inventory of all of our faults. We should not have our eyes on other people, comparing ourselves with them; we should have our eyes on Jesus. He, not other people, is our example to follow. We will eventually stand before God, not people, and give an account of our lives.

And get your eyes off yourself; don’t meditate on everything you think you do right, or everything you think you do wrong. Focus on who God says you are.

The Holy Spirit will convict you in areas where you need it, and when He does, your response should not be to feel condemnation. It should be appreciation that God cares enough about you to send His Spirit daily to help you stay on the narrow path that leads to life.

When I learned to respond to God’s correction (conviction) with appreciation instead of condemnation, it closed a door to Satan that I had allowed to remain open all of my life. We cannot grow without conviction of our sins, yet if we always respond with condemnation, that also prevents our growth. God intends that conviction of sin lift us up and out of wrong behavior, but condemnation presses us down and holds us prisoner to the sin. We can never get beyond something we stay condemned about.

V
ERBALIZE
Y
OUR
A
CCEPTANCE OF
Y
OURSELF

Many people have a bad habit of saying negative, downgrading things about themselves. This is dangerous and wrong. Words are containers of power; they carry either creative or destructive influence. Proverbs 18:21 states that the power of life and death are in the tongue, and those who indulge it will eat the fruit of it for life or death. In other words, I can speak death or life to others, my circumstances, and myself.

Previously in my life, I had a bad habit of saying ungodly, negative things about myself. What was in my heart came out of my mouth, just as Matthew 12:34 confirms, and I saw that truth operating in my life. I had a bad attitude about myself; I didn’t like myself, so I said things that were proof of what was in my heart.

I frequently ask in conferences where I am teaching, “How many of you regularly say negative, downgrading things about your own self out of your own mouth?” Most in the audience raise their hands.

Negative self-talk is a big problem that we need to seriously address. If you don’t understand the tremendous power of words, please obtain and read my book entitled
Me and My Big Mouth.

As I gained revelation from God’s Word, I began to see how devastating this bad habit of speaking against myself was, and I slowly began to replace those bad things I said with good things. It was initially a step of faith, because I felt foolish standing around by myself, saying good things about myself. I started doing it when alone because I certainly did not have the boldness to say anything complimentary about myself in front of anybody. Instead of saying, “I am so stupid” when I made mistakes, I changed my response to “I made a mistake, but God loves me unconditionally, and He is changing me.” Instead of saying, “I never do anything right,” I said, “I am the righteousness of God in Christ, and He is working in me.”

I am not suggesting that we form a habit of telling people how wonderful we think we are—that would be prideful and unacceptable behavior. But we should say good things rather than bad things when the occasion arises.

For example, if someone asks you what your gifts, talents, and abilities are, don’t say, “I don’t have any. I’m really not very smart.” Say, “God has gifted me to do many things,” and then describe the things you are good at.

Perhaps you are good at encouraging people; that is a gift from God. Or you may love simply to help people, and that is one of the greatest gifts God gives. I don’t know what I would do in life if I did not have people who just help with whatever needs to be done. You may not have gifts that are “showy,” but that does not make them any less important.