31 Days of Winter (31 page)

‘I’m not complaining.’

‘It was a
great
kiss,’ I sighed.

‘It was,’ he sighed. ‘Are you going to come out,
or are we going to keep talking through this door all night? Because I’m still
starving and I have a cupboard full of Pot Noodle for company if you’re going
to stay in there.’ I chuckled, I couldn’t hide from him forever.

‘I’ll see you downstairs, I’ll just get the first
aid kit.’

‘You know if you’re lying and you don’t come out,
I could probably break the door down?’

‘I’m not lying.’

‘Fine, but I’m kind of insulted that I dragged
that big arsed tree in for you and you didn’t even notice it.’

‘O God, I’m so sorry,’ I scrambled up from the
floor. ‘I promise, I’ll be out in one minute.’

‘Fine. Don’t make me kick in a perfectly nice oak
door.’ I heard his footsteps leaving and headed to the sink and splashed water
on my face.

‘Pull yourself together,’ I told my reflection.
‘So it will take you a few weeks to get over him when you get home, it’s no big
deal.’ Lie two of the day, I was going to need more than a few weeks. I grabbed
the first aid kit and ran downstairs to see him sitting at the island.

‘Ok?’ he frowned.

‘Yes, sorry.’

‘So,’ he flicked his head to the corner of the
house behind me and I looked around and screamed, all my woes temporarily forgotten.
I ran over to the tree, it had to be seven foot tall and it was so full and
bushy, I ran my fingers over the pine needles, breathing in the fresh pungent
scent and felt my face light up.

‘I love it,’ I exclaimed and just prayed I’d just
said “it” and not “you”. I turned around to look at him and my stomach flipped
over so many times that I nearly had to sit down. ‘Thank you so much.’

‘So do I deserve an Ellie special?’ he smiled.

‘A what?’ I gasped.

‘Your cooking.’

‘O right,’ I smiled, slightly disappointed. ‘You
sure do.’ I walked over and kissed his cheek. ‘Thank you. It’s an amazing
tree.’

‘You’re welcome. It’s nice to see those dimples,’
he smiled. I set about making him a cheese, ham and mushroom omelette with
sauté new potatoes and bread and butter, and made him a coffee and left him to
eat as I started pulling the decorations out. This would take my mind off my
completely inappropriate feelings.

‘Have you got a ladder?’ I asked.

‘No, but you’ve got me.’

‘I wish,’ I muttered under my breath.

‘What?’

‘Nice dish?’ I called, cringing.

‘Hmmm very tasty, but as I say you don’t need
ladder.’

‘You’d better come and help then when you’ve
finished.’

We spent over an hour putting up all the lights
and I had to sit on his shoulders to put the star on top of the tree and
wobbled and screamed a few times, as I refused to hold his injured hand. He was
making it so much harder for me by being all relaxed, happy and jovial. I’d
been praying for this Dan since I’d met him, and ironically right now I could
do with him being distant Dan. When he finally set me down and I turned off the
main lights, my smile returned. It had already gone dark and the tree looked
stunning against the black backdrop with the roaring fire and the soft
twinkling fairy lights around the support struts, and the fibre optic tree in
the kitchen just made it magical.

‘Wow,’ he nodded. ‘You’ve made the place come to
life.’

‘You’re not just saying that? You really like it?’

‘I do,’ he nodded.

‘This calls for mulled wine? You want some?’

‘Sure, I’ll have a glass.’

‘Go and sit down and I’ll sort your hand while the
wine warms up.’

I tried not to let my hands shake as I held his
and removed the ratty old bandage and cleaned his knuckles again gently. They’d
scabbed over which was good, but he was still really swollen. I applied a fresh
bandage and went and got a load of frozen peas, emptied them into a food bag
and made him sit with them on top of his hand. I filled some mugs, handed him
his and went to sit in the armchair close to the fire and saw him frown.

‘You’re not sitting by me now?’

‘I’m cold.’

‘I thought that was my title.’

‘Not today, you’ve been really nice to be around.’

‘I’ve had a really nice day.’

‘Me, too,’ I blushed.

‘Have I outstayed my welcome?’

‘No,’ I responded quickly. While he was like this
I wanted as much time with him as possible, even though it hurt like hell.

‘You haven’t written today.’

‘No, I’ll have to do some in the week, but I do
need to do some work tomorrow.’

‘Work?’

‘Resumes for my replacement to give my opinion before
John interviews.’

‘Right.’

‘You know we never got to go through the list?’

‘What list?’

‘Of things you need to sort to keep the renters
happy,’ I pointed to the printed list still sitting on the coffee table from
last night, which he picked up.

‘Flat screen television?’

‘Most people like TV, kids especially.’

‘Why do you need a TV? There’s an amazing view out
there.’

‘Not when it’s dark, genius,’ I pointed to glass
and he shook his head.

‘Welcome folder. What’s a welcome folder?’

‘Like you’d get in a hotel. Giving emergency
numbers for a start. I don’t even know the name of the village we’re a ten
minute drive from. You should list all of the emergency services and any good
eateries down and a list of all the attractions around here that visitors could
get to.’

‘Like what?’

‘I don’t know, I’ve left this island once in two
weeks. Is there skiing, horse riding, good hill or mountain walks, sailing on
the loch, fishing, shooting? You’re the local.’

‘Ok, that seems reasonable,’ he nodded. I tucked
my hair behind my ear as I watched him reading. When he was concentrating he
had an adorable crease between his brows and stuck out his full bottom lip.

‘You need board games for kids and ones for adults,
and you need a proper dining table for a family to use.’

‘Again, sensible suggestions, but a second boat?’
he raised his eyebrows as he continued to scan the list.

‘Well, you’re out most afternoons. What if they
want to go out on their own, a spur of the moment sort of thing? They need their
own access instead of relying on you. Plus, it would give you more freedom to
do other things yourself.’

‘What other things?’

‘Please, you’re telling me you don’t get bored
stuck here waiting for me to ring you with my demands?’

‘On the contrary, I look forward to your demands,’
he winked.

‘Well, I’m not sure you’ll get another guest quite
like me,’ I smiled.

‘I very much doubt it, Ellie,’ he sighed softly
and I leapt up and grabbed his mug and headed back to the kitchen.

‘More wine?’

‘Please. You seem on edge.’

‘I’m fine.’

‘I may have been out of the game for a while, but
when a woman says she’s fine, that tends to mean she’s not,’ he stated as he
stood up and came over, holding the temporary ice bag to his knuckles.
Not fine?
Why did those words seem important? O God, I suddenly remembered I hadn’t
had the results of my STD tests, they were supposed to have emailed them to me.

‘My test results,’ I uttered. ‘They should have
been in. Did you pick up my iPad from yours?’

‘No. I thought you had it. I’ll go and get it for
you.’

‘No, I’ll get my phone.’ I ran upstairs and found
it next to my laptop and sat in the chair as I double checked my inbox, but
there was nothing from them. I frowned, she’d said a few days and I’d been so
distracted I’d forgotten. I quickly checked my junk box and scanned through the
dozens in there and spotted it.

‘Is everything ok?’ Dan called.

‘It’s in my junk box, I’m not sure I can face opening
it.’

‘Do you want me to?’

‘No!’ I snapped back. Let the guy I’d fallen in
love with find out if I had some horrible, possibly incurable disease? No thank
you! ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.’

‘You’re stressed. It’s understandable, but I’m
sure you’ll be fine,’ he called.

‘How
can
you be, when even I can’t?’ I put
the phone on the desk and put my fingertips to my forehead and stared at the
header. I knew Zac had said he was clean, but his words didn’t really hold much
weight nowadays. I suddenly felt my chair being pulled back and Dan grabbed my
hand and pulled me up, then handed me the phone.

‘Come on. If you’re going to stare at it, at least
do it in front of the fire with a mug of hot wine and me to hug you if you need
it,’ he ordered as he firmly tugged me behind him. He made me sit on the sofa
and handed me the freshly filled mug off the coffee table and sat next to me
with his. ‘So, I looked at the rest of the list you made.’

‘You did?’ I asked, still distracted.

‘It seems to have its merits.’

‘You’ll let him see it?’ I clutched the mug with
both hands and drank and kept drinking until it was empty.

‘Ellie, you’ll make yourself sick again,’ he
scolded.

‘Want more?’

‘No thank you, and I don’t think you should,’ he
frowned at me.

‘Please don’t do that serious frown, it’s sexy.’ I
stood up and put my phone on the coffee table and went to the kitchen to pour
the last of the wine in my mug.

‘You’re fine, all the tests were clear,’ he
announced and I turned around to see him looking at my phone.

‘You just read my personal email?’ I snapped,
furious with him.

‘Well, you were obviously too scared, and you’re
going to make yourself ill drinking to avoid facing it, so now it’s done. Stop
torturing yourself, slow down on the drink and relax. You’re fine,
every
test
was clear. Look,’ he waved the phone in the air and I stormed over and snatched
it off him with a glare.

‘Unacceptable,’ I hissed and went to sit back in
the armchair.

‘Isn’t that what a friend would do if you were too
scared to look? Wouldn’t Brooke have done that?’ he asked, looking confused at
my reaction. I scowled at him again, trust him to use logic, reasonable logic.
Yes Brooke would’ve done that, it’s just I didn’t want
him
too. I’d have
been mortified if I’d had something, especially after he … after he’d done
stuff to me. I looked down at the screen and read the attachment, he was right
every one said negative next to it. I heaved a sigh of relief.

‘I’m sorry I snapped, it’s just personal, and that
wasn’t for you to see,’ I advised, without looking up at him.

‘Then I’m sorry I over stepped.’

We sat in silence for a while until he got up and
crouched down by my feet in front of the fire and put some more logs on. His
skin looked luminous in the glow of the flames and I wanted to reach out and
touch him. He suddenly turned his head and looked straight at me and sent my
wits scattering across the polished oak floor.

‘Have you ever made mashed potatoes?’ I asked,
then asked myself where the hell
that
just came from.

‘What?’ he laughed.

‘Sorry. It was a bit random, wasn’t it? I was
going to do mashed potatoes to go with the bourguignon as you had the new
potatoes with your lunch. They’re easy if you want to learn.’

‘Sure,’ he shrugged, looking totally unsure. I
made him sit opposite me at the island and tipped the bourguignon into a large
casserole dish and put it in the oven. I then showed him how the potato peeler
worked, then how to cut them into small even pieces to cook quickly in boiling
salted water. I explained I’d use a potato ricer normally, or a moulin légumes
to get the potato really fine and smooth, but today we’d have to settle for a
hand held masher. I whisked them up with a good knob of butter, some cream and
salt and pepper and put them in another casserole dish into the oven to warm
and brown on the top.

‘See, easy and tasty.’ I announced. I scooped some
of the left overs out of the bowl with my finger and sucked it clean and dipped
again for the last bit but before I had a chance to put it to my mouth, he
leaned over and grabbed my hand. I watched in slow motion, holding my breath as
he pulled me to meet him half way and gently put my finger in his mouth and
sucked it while he looked into my eyes. I felt my mouth drop so I could take in
some much needed oxygen as he rolled his tongue around it and made a groaning
noise that sounded nothing like enjoyment of good mash. My insides were
watering as he slowly pulled back off it and gently placed my hand down on the
island.

‘You give good mash,’ he smiled.

‘You’ve no idea,’ I sighed and quickly turned and
screwed up my face with pleasure at the thought of the sensations I’d just felt
from what he’d just done. ‘Wine?’

‘No more for me, thank you. May I have some
water?’

‘You may, I may join you.’ I filled up two glasses
and sat opposite him as I swirled my water around. ‘So I have six questions?’

‘Officially you already used two, but yes, go on,’
he replied. I could hear the nervous edge in his voice.

‘What was your job before this?’

‘I worked in IT.’

‘IT? That’s all you’ll give me?’

‘Be more specific with your questions if you want
more specific answers,’ he smirked. I frowned, five more tonight.

‘So you worked in London?’

‘Yes,’ he smiled as he gave me his one word
answer.

‘Why are you here, on this island, shutting
yourself away?’

‘I told you I needed some time to re-evaluate.’

‘That’s not an answer, and besides I already knew
that.’

‘Then you should have asked a better question.
Last three.’

‘Have you ever been in love before?’

‘Yes.’

‘Dan,’ I moaned. ‘Seriously, a one word answer?’

‘You chose the question, I choose the answer,
Ellie. Two more.’

‘Do you see yourself ever settling down with a
family of your own?’ I looked down at the island as I asked it and ran my
finger over the granite.’