6.0 - Raptor (16 page)

Your brain is fine. I’m less certain about the air, but I’m not far from the exit. Less than an hour.
Rocks shifted, clunked, and thudded into new places. Jaxi pulsed in irritation.
Maybe two hours.

We appreciate your efforts.

Now I remember why I never tried to burn my way out from under Galmok Mountain.

I’m surprised you didn’t try. You certainly had the time.
Sardelle noticed she wasn’t lying entirely on the uneven and very hard rock floor as she had been when she first dozed off. Earlier, Ridge and Duck had been coercing Jaxi into helping them get the fliers turned around, so they would be ready to take off as soon they could escape. At some point, he had settled on the ground beside her. She didn’t remember moving, but she was leaning against his chest and using his shoulder as a pillow. He had wrapped an arm around her, and she much preferred that cushion to the rock. She might have snuggled closer for a kiss, since she sensed that he wasn’t sleeping, but Tylie had passed out on her other side and was using
her
for a pillow. Only Duck remained on his own, whittling a clump of wood while he sat in the cockpit of his flier.

What would I have done once I got out?
Jaxi asked.
Lain on the mountainside and rusted in the elements until some shepherd picked me up and hung me above the door in his yurt for decoration? Besides, I
did
try. The rock just kept collapsing into whatever hole I made. It was rubble that buried me, not a solid slab of stone.

Well, I would have been terribly disappointed if I’d woken up and you weren’t there.

That’s the real reason I didn’t escape on my own. I was thinking of your needs.

Of course you were.

Another boulder shifted, and pebbles tinkled to the ground. Ridge stirred at Sardelle’s side.

Jaxi said another hour or two and we’ll be out,
she told him silently, not wanting to wake Tylie.

Tylie hadn’t been able to sleep earlier. While Sardelle had been healing her cuts, she had seemed more agitated than the wounds had explained, so it was good that she had finally found some rest. Her distress might be linked to Phelistoth’s pain, and Sardelle had no idea how to heal that. She had to trust that the dragon would fix his own wounds and put an end to the problem. She shuddered to think how Tylie might react, however, if Phelistoth died.

No hurry
, Ridge thought back, leaning his chin on her head.
This is cozy.

She smiled at the words, even if they weren’t entirely sincere.
I thought you knew better than to lie to me. Sitting in here, not knowing if the outpost has been attacked, is eating at you like a flesh-eating bacteria. And you have a pointy rock jabbing into your left cheek.

Maybe I
like
having pointy things jabbing me in my butt, Miss Smarty Sorceress.

She arched her eyebrows.
That begs for a joke about sexual preferences and whether it was truly an accident that you ended up under Colonel Therrik’s bed.

True, but you’re too polite and well socialized to make it, so I’m safe.
Now that he knew she was awake, he squirmed a bit, trying to find a better position.

I could make such a joke
, Jaxi said.

Aren’t you too busy over there?
Ridge asked.
I can feel your heat from here.

That’s because I’m magnificently radiant. Like a star.

Sardelle thought Ridge might get up and stretch his legs—and rub his butt—but he wrapped his other arm around her and snuggled closer.

You can go back to sleep if you want
, he thought.
Nothing more exciting than pointy rocks here. And Tylie muttering in her sleep. You think she’ll be all right?

Probably when Phelistoth heals himself and she knows he’s safe.

Ridge made a sour face—she didn’t have to see it to know it was there.

Sardelle?

She hesitated, already sensing the gist of his question. She’d been expecting it, especially since Phelistoth had started walking around in human form when he visited them, and she wasn’t sure how to answer it. The truth was, she didn’t know the answer to it. On the surface, Tylie was as open and honest as a spring flower, but since Sardelle couldn’t get a sense of her thoughts, only of what she displayed on the outside, she did not know anything about her for certain.

You’re about to ask what exactly is going on between them
, Sardelle thought.

Yeah. And if I should be threatening to beat him up if he has any…
intentions
toward her. Because she seems way too young for that, even if it were with a kid her age. I know she’s seventeen, but she acts like she’s about ten.

I really don’t know. I’m sorry I don’t, because it’s been a concern of mine, too, but as I’ve told you before, dragons were long gone in my era. All we have are historical texts. And fictionalized accountings.
Sardelle decided not to point out that pairings had to have happened fairly often back then, given all the sorcerers that had been roaming around in the old days. She also didn’t mention that the dragons seemed to find something appealing in Tylie’s mind or talents. She would look up Receivers while they were at the outpost too. Another item for the research list.

Since Ridge was still frowning down at her, she knew she would have to give him something more—or maybe distract him.

Would you truly try to beat up a dragon that came courting? I don’t think that would go well.

He snorted.
No, I don’t think so, either. But if Tolemek didn’t, I would.

Maybe if the two of you worked together, you could give him a black… toenail.

Ha ha.

She brushed his jaw with her fingers.
Have I mentioned that it’s sweet that you want to protect her?

How can you not want to protect someone who wanders around looking lost all the time?

She’s probably conversing with Phelistoth when she looks like that.

Is that supposed to be comforting?

No, and she shouldn’t have mentioned it. Hadn’t her goal been distracting him?
Have you ever given thought to having children, Ridge? I know your mother harps on you about it, and that probably makes you not want to do it, but I think you’d be a good father.
And maybe she had Fern Zirkander to blame, but she had started to wonder herself what it would be like to be a mother.

Seven gods, why?

That wasn’t quite the response she’d expected, and she felt stung, until she realized what he was questioning. Not the act itself but her suggestion that he’d be good at it.
You don’t think you could help raise little baby Zirkanders?

Not well.

Why not?

I’d be a horrible role model.

The statement surprised her, and she thought it might be false modesty, but he honestly seemed to believe that.
That national hero of Iskandia? A bad role model?

He slumped lower against the rock wall and gazed toward Jaxi.
Sardelle, do you know that I’ve often been relieved that I met you—that you met
me
—this year? And not when I was younger? I’m
still
not entirely sure why you don’t think I’m a reckless twit, but I assure you that I was much more of one when I was in my twenties. You never would have put up with Young Ridge.

Curious, Sardelle made an encouraging noise. He’d told her about many of the air battles he’d been engaged in over the years, and he shared humorous stories about his squadron mates to entertain her, but he hadn’t spoken much of his own history, aside from a few childhood anecdotes.

It’s a miracle I didn’t get myself killed. I got myself pegged with an embarrassing nickname after my first battle, and I spent the next five years doing my damnedest to prove I was better than that. Add to that that I came from a poor family, and most of the officers were still drawn out of the nobility back then, and I felt I had a lot to prove. So I was reckless, sometimes to the detriment of my teammates, but I got what I wanted, what I thought I wanted, the attention of the reporters and a degree of fame. Though back then, I suppose it was more notoriety than fame. There were times I should have been kicked out of the service, but I was taking down Cofah airships and making pirates fear harassing our ships and coastlines. They needed me, and I knew it. Most of my swagger was about flying, but I was inordinately pleased that the attention from the newspapers turned me into someone that women wanted to sleep with too. And that happened.
A lot.
He shifted, glancing uncomfortably at her. It wouldn’t have taken telepathy to sense his embarrassment, at least when relaying these things to
her
.
I was careful not to create any baby Zirkanders, as you call them, but you would have thought I was an idiot. I
was
an idiot. I never even tried to have a grownup relationship until I was in my thirties, and then I found I was lousy at it. I thought I was so amazing, and the girl was so lucky to be with me. That wasn’t a real solid place to start from.

She snorted softly to herself. She doubted he had been
that
arrogant. Still, maybe part of the reason they worked together was that she had a power he couldn’t touch and had to respect, something that could humble even a famous pilot. Though she would be the first to admit that literal power didn’t always matter in a relationship. She’d felt helpless once, trying to keep something together with a man who hadn’t been nearly as invested in their pairing as she had been. She might have been the stronger magic user, but his indifference had, as counterintuitive as it seemed, given him the greater power.

What changed?
she asked, more interested in his past than in hers. His story wasn’t completely surprising, but Sardelle had often thought he was actually well grounded and even humble for someone who received as much attention as he did.

I got my best friend killed.

Sensing the sudden grimness in his thoughts, she waited patiently for him to continue.

He was the Wolf Squadron commander, Colonel Abagon
“
Squirrel
”
Mox. I was a major at the time. He was a few years older, but we’d been in the squadron together since it had formed ten years earlier, and I was—still am—the godfather of his children.
She saw the flash of a memory, of birthdays and picnics and the realization that he needed to check in on the family, even though that had been uncomfortable and difficult since Mox’s death.
He always put up with my cockiness and was good at placing me in positions where I wouldn’t endanger others. Usually.
But five years ago, we had a thorny mission, a big battle over our shipping lanes, which the Cofah were trying to usurp. Again. We had to fight imperial dirigibles and also deal with naval artillery. It was an ugly battle, all at night, so many fires on our ships and theirs, so much death. I thought I could do something brilliant and get rid of two airships at once. We didn’t expect them to have cargo holds full of explosives. I signaled and convinced Mox to follow me in, that it would be fine, that we’d come out as heroes, as we always did. And then I left him, when I knew he’d been hit and didn’t have full control. Just for a second, I told myself, because there was the Cofah armada commander in my sights, and if we could kill him—
Ridge shook his head, the words stopping, but the images came through, and Sardelle received a clearer vision of the battle—the deaths—than she would have liked. The downside of being a telepath and linked closely with another person.

So Mox was dead, and the way it happened, not many people knew it was my fault, if any. But I knew. And I couldn’t bring myself to fudge my report, though you better believe I considered it. I knew that might be the end of my career, if not cause for further punishment. So I told the truth to Mox’s commander, a man who also considered him a friend.

General Ort?
Sardelle guessed. She had occasionally wondered why Ort gave his star squadron commander a hard time.

General Ort
, Ridge agreed.
He hadn’t been commander of the flier battalion for more than four months. And I’m sure he hadn’t heard anything good about me.

He obviously didn’t kick you out of the military.

No, he promoted me. To Mox’s position.
Ridge grunted.
I’m sure he would have demoted me swiftly enough if it hadn’t worked out, but I think he wanted to see if giving me some responsibility would teach me something. I’m not sure if it was that or just Mox’s death, but it worked, to a certain degree. I’m still reckless. I know it. But it’s more calculated now. And I watch out for my people.

Yes, she had seen that. He was almost obsessive about it. She smiled down at Tylie, once again imagining him showing up with fists bared to threaten Phelistoth with pummeling if he didn’t have her home before midnight.

Sardelle laid her hand on his, brushing her thumbs across his knuckles.
While I find it interesting to hear about your past, in a heart-wrenching kind of way, I don’t see why all this makes you feel you’d be a poor father.

You don’t? Of all people, how could I ever discipline a kid with a straight face? Tell him to do the right thing? What kind of role model would I be, having been a self-absorbed ass for most of my life?

I’ll admit I’m not an expert in this area any more than you are,
but I think it matters more who you are and what you do
after
your children are born, rather than before.

Ridge was quiet for a moment before grudgingly saying,
I suppose there’s something to that.