7 Clues to Winning You (30 page)

“Dad, you don’t owe Mom anything. There’s no way she’d ever say you owe her.”

“She denies it, but it’s there. The debt is still there.”

The way he said that reminded me of the last two lines of the sonnet I had sent Luke. Most textbooks translate them as roughly, “I hurt you, but you hurt me first, so now we’re even.”

I had a different interpretation, especially of the very last two words. They’re not “ransom mine,” they’re “ransom me.” Deliver me from the punishment for my sin.

To me, that last couplet meant, “We each screwed up and hurt the other. Let’s say that your screwup was a debt you owed me. Well, my screwup now releases you of that debt. Consider the slate clean. There is nothing for me to forgive anymore. But I still need your forgiveness because that’s the only way I can stop punishing myself.”

As far as Mom and Dad were concerned, her shortcomings might cancel out his shortcomings, but until Dad believed that Mom truly forgave him for those shortcomings and accepted him completely—flaws and all—he’d never be
able to stop punishing himself for making her sacrifice so much in order to be with him.

It was insane. She’d done that the day she fell in love with him.

“Did you ever think that maybe she saw it as a fair trade?” I said. “Or even a better deal for her? She got to swap a dull, predictable, passionless life like her parents’ for a fun, spontaneous, love-filled life with you. Money matters most to people who don’t have it, Dad. She wasn’t interested in money. You brought things to the table that nobody else could give her. Nobody. Including Gran and Granddad. Those are the things she deserves—the things only you can provide for her. She owes you a debt too, Dad.”

Dad went,
“Psssh,”
and waved the idea away. A few seconds later, he sniffed and rubbed the back of his shirtsleeve across his nose. He swiped his thumb under one eye. Then the other.

I had to lighten the moment because if I didn’t, I would disintegrate in tears at this man—no, he was only a guy—just this guy so in love with a girl that he was desperate to give her the world and spent his entire life trying to do it. How could I not cry? But I couldn’t cry. It would make Dad cry more, and he deserved his dignity.

“Well, she definitely can be a huge pain in the neck sometimes,” I joked. “You should get points for putting up with that, at least.”

Dad let out one halfhearted laugh. “I know she’s not perfect …”

“And she knows you’re not perfect either, Dad, but she’s
cool with it. She wants the whole package. So, come on. Yank the stick out of your butt, and get over yourself.”

Dad inhaled sharply. He scoffed in jest, “Is that how you and your friends talk to each other?”

“Nah,” I said. “We say, ‘yank the stick out of your
ass
.’”

Dad snorted and chuckled. “Well, those must be some pretty good friends, then.”

Yeah, they
were
, I almost said.

I kissed him good night before I went upstairs. He didn’t ask me about the next morning, and I was glad. Because it meant that for those few minutes in the dark, he was Dad. Just my dad.

Principal Mac was nowhere to be found.

He didn’t live here anyway.

Upstairs I tried to sleep, but Tara kept creeping into my thoughts. We had hurt each other. Betrayed each other. Was it possible one offense could cancel out the other? If she forgave me, could I forgive her? Could things ever go back to normal between us?

Did I want them to?

I decided not to decide that night. My brain was a wreck. I did feel the need to apologize for my part, though. I’d see what happened from there. That was as far ahead as I could plan. I debated whether to text her or e-mail. I was too exhausted for a conversation, so I opted for e-mail. It ended up sounding just like what Dad had said to me.

I didn’t sign it. I hadn’t signed an e-mail to Tara in my life, so it seemed phony to do it now. I hit Send, shut down my laptop, switched off my light, and even turned off my phone. If Luke had wanted to respond, he would have by then. I was too exhausted to deal with anyone else. I laid my head on my pillow and put an end to that horrible day. Not that I was looking forward to the next one.

THE MORNING SUNLIGHT TORE INTO MY ROOM LIKE an obnoxious cartoon sun trumpeting a jubilant day full of bright promise and excitement. The day I was facing was anything but jubilant. Foreboding was more accurate. I felt an ominous sense of impending change. There’d be no more fantasizing about Bryn Mawr and a handsome Haverford husband and a stunning home and a life of perfection. That whole dream seemed incredibly boring now, so it wasn’t too hard to let go.

I got dressed in the same pencil skirt outfit I’d worn the first day of school. I like circular things, and it seemed fitting to wear these clothes on what would inevitably be my last day at Ash Grove.

I was ready to pull the rip cord on the agreement Luke and I had made that first week of school. If we got found out, I’d take the fall for the Senior Scramble. It’d been non-negotiable, and I was ready. On the way to school, I rehearsed my speech in my head. The picture of Luke was mine, and I took it with the intention of bullying him. Luke had nothing to do with the Senior Scramble, no matter what the caption said. I organized the underground Senior Scramble. I was
solely responsible, and I would not divulge anyone’s name, no matter what.

When I walked through the school doors, people all around turned and stared at me just like on my first day. Today was different, though. Today, everyone was silent. The looks on their faces weren’t ones of disgust or ridicule. They were looks of trepidation, worry, and fear. They probably were scared I was going to turn them in for being in the scavenger hunt. I wanted to reassure them that I wouldn’t, but I couldn’t stop. I needed to get to the office. They’d find out soon enough anyway.

The crowd parted down the middle as I walked through. I’d never felt so alone in a sea of people. When I saw Jenna with her black-ringed eyes and Neapolitan hair coming toward me, I couldn’t help but break out into a small smile. “Hi, Jenna,” I said. “I’m so glad to see you, you have no idea. Where’s Cy?”

“He’s outside having a smoke,” she said quietly, drawing me over to a bank of lockers inside a little alcove. “That’s why I wanted to sneak in here to find you. Listen, he would never say anything, but you know the vice principal?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“Cy got in trouble last month, and when he saw her, she said that it was his official ‘strike two.’ God, I hate her.”

I nodded. “I hear ya.”

“So here’s the thing, if he gets one more strike, they’re gonna kick him out of school. That’s what she said, anyway. I just was wondering … I mean, everyone knows what happened yesterday, thanks to Mrs. Bolger. We know that they’re
making you name people in the Senior Scramble or they’ll expel you for bullying or some such crap. So, I was just wondering if you could … not mention Cy. Otherwise he’ll be expelled. He’d kill me if he knew I was asking you this, but you know … I had to. It’s Cy.”

I rubbed the sides of Jenna’s arms and firmly squeezed them. “Jenna. Don’t worry. I’m not naming any names. I’d stick needles in my eyes first. Hinkler’s going to expel me or suspend me or whatever anyway. And you’re totally nuts if you think I’d ever turn Cy or you in. Or anybody else. It’s not happening, so don’t worry.”

I swear I saw Jenna tear up a bit. She smiled and thanked me more than once. Keeping Cy safe was all she needed in order to be happy. Cy’s happiness was Jenna’s happiness. I couldn’t help but feel jealous of what she and Cy had. They loved each other so much, and I loved them both. They were an absolutely perfect couple of oddballs.

Less than two minutes later, I was standing outside the main office, taking a second to brace myself for what was coming. Finally, I opened the door and all the secretaries looked up at me simultaneously. I glanced at Dad’s office door. It was closed. “Are they in there?” I asked Gladys. She nodded. I took a deep breath and put on the last lady look I ever intended to use. I was done with pretending things were okay when they weren’t, but I couldn’t let that witch of a vice principal think she’d rattled me.

I strode over to Dad’s door, rapped twice, and turned the knob. I pushed open the door and nearly fell over when I saw who was inside.

Luke.

He held out his hand to motion for me to stop. “Blythe,” he said, “you don’t need to come in here.”

I pushed his hand aside and stepped past him. “What’s going on? Dad?”

Dad sat at his desk rubbing the palms of his hands together like he was trying to make fire. The VP stood next to him again. I think she enjoyed being higher than him in the room. It was she who answered my question. “Mr. Pavel has just confessed to running the prohibited Senior Scramble. He says he acted alone and won’t name any of the participants. Of course, he will be suspended. For two months. Such a shame that he’ll miss graduation. I suppose he can finish over the summer. Or next fall.”

My eyes locked with Luke’s. I held them, but I spoke to Dad. “He’s lying,” I said. “He had nothing to do with the Senior Scramble. It was all me.”

Luke stood up, his expression imploring me to stop talking. “NO. It was my idea. Blythe is completely innocent.”

“I am not!” I argued. “It was my fault!” I was growing desperate. I needed to stop him. I turned my back to Dad and the VP and whispered to Luke, “Why are you doing this?” Then even quieter, “We had a deal!”

Luke reached up and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear like he had in the parking lot after our date. “I’m breaking the deal,” he said. His voice was like spicy warm caramel. I could swim in the sound of it. Dive into it. Drown in it.

He had forgiven me.

I leaned in to Luke’s ear.

“What are you whispering?” the VP cawed. My long hair had blocked their view.

I kissed Luke lightly on the cheek and whispered, “I won’t let you do this,” and then I spun around to face my father. “Dad, if you’ve ever trusted me, please trust me now. I know it seems impossible, but it was all my idea to bring back the Senior Scramble because I was the one who got it banned in the first place. Can’t you see that?”

“Luke has already shown us the website,” Dad said. “He couldn’t know about it if he wasn’t involved.”

I slammed my palms down on the desk and shouted at my father, “It wasn’t him! Don’t you see that Luke is just trying to protect me?”

Dad’s eyebrows lifted with surprise. He opened his mouth slightly and glanced at Luke. Then back to me. Then back to Luke. His eyes flashed and I knew he understood. Even more, he seemed to approve.

“Well, there’s a simple solution to all this,” Vice Principal Hinkler whinnied. “We can suspend you both. Unless that picture of Mr. Pavel from yesterday truly had nothing to do with the scavenger hunt, in which case Ms. McKenna faces expulsion for bullying.”

“That’s absurd,” Luke interjected. “I have no problem with that picture. It can’t be called bullying if I wasn’t bullied. As a matter of fact,” he said to the scowling VP, his voice and face brightening like someone had thrown a switch, “I happen to love that picture.” He inched closer to me and hooked his pinky in mine. “It reminds me of my most favorite day ever.”

My heart dissolved into soft, glittering dust. I struggled to take a full breath of the suddenly thick air. The walls drew close around us, and it felt like Luke and I were alone in that office and nothing could ever be wrong. Or if something was, it didn’t matter.

All that mattered was that Luke’s most favorite day ever had been with me.

“So I guess it’ll have to be suspension for both of us,” Luke chirped. We stood side by side facing my dad and the vice principal. I unhooked my pinky and entwined all of my fingers in his. When Luke closed his hand around mine, all my worry and fear of what was about to happen to us suddenly evaporated. I didn’t care anymore what my future might be. No more planning everything ahead of time step by step to make sure it turned out right down the line. From now on, I was going to live my life, not wait for it.

Vice Principal Hinkler was nearly twitching with rage. Obviously, she had hoped to expel someone today. Maybe even break some legs or chop off a finger or two. “Fine,” she snarled through her needle-thin lips. Dad raised a finger as though he might object, but she ignored him. “If that’s what you want, then that’s what you’ll—”

The intercom on Dad’s desk blared. Gladys’s voice came through saying, “Principal Mac, could you come to the front, please?”

“Not now, Gladys,” Dad responded. “I’m in the middle of something here.” He opened his mouth to speak to us, but Gladys interrupted again.

“I think you should come to the front, Principal McKenna,” she said. “There’s a situation out here that requires your attention. Immediately.”

The four of us in the office exchanged puzzled looks. Dad pushed himself back from his desk, stood up, and led us out of the room. Two steps through the door, he stopped short and we nearly collided into him. When he inched forward, we could see why he’d halted.

The entire junior class had crowded into the front office, spilling through the double doors and out into the hallway. Behind them, several teachers flitted around, fruitlessly trying to corral the mass. The throng hummed with chatter and energy. Up at the very front of the group, just behind the counter, stood Cy and Jenna.

Cy held up his hands and motioned for everyone to be quiet. “Principal Mac,” he said, “my fellow juniors and I”—he turned and scanned the crowd, and then turned back to Dad—“and some seniors too”—chuckles ping-ponged around—“are here to surrender ourselves. We’ve all been involved in an illegal, immoral, and degenerate underground competition known as the Senior Scramble. We know that our confessions will get us suspended, as your policy clearly dictates”—some “oohs” shot up here and there—“but there’s no way in hell we’re going to let the booger girl—or the Dumpster dork—take the fall for the rest of us.” Swells of clapping built up and rose as he spoke. “If you’re suspending them, you might as well suspend us all. So let’s get going on the paperwork, because this is gonna be a long day!”