A Baby in the Bunkhouse (15 page)

It felt so good to be wanted.

So good to be guided into bed and held against him like this, to have the barriers between them start coming down.

She felt his erection pressing against her, hot and urgent, his heart pounding in his chest.

Need poured out of him, akin to her own.

“I'm through pretending this isn't what I want,” he whispered, raining kisses across her face, down her neck, to the shell of her ear. “I want you, Jacey.” He tunneled his hands through her hair and claimed her mouth again. “I want you to be mine.”

Jacey wanted that, too. So much.

She kissed him back, surrendering the way she never had before. He was so strong and passionate, so undeniably male. “And I want you.” She clasped his shoulders and pressed against him.

He grinned. “This time of year, everyone gets their wish.” He slid down her body, kissing the hollow of her stomach, stroking the insides of her thighs. Then he loved her more intimately still, until she was awash in pleasure, shuddering. Until there was no more doubt how much they needed each other, needed this. She lifted her hips, letting him know, without a doubt, it was time.

Kissing her slowly, he edged her knees even farther apart and eased into her. And then she was moaning again, moving against him—with him—her body taking up the timeless rhythm that seemed created just for the two of them. What few boundaries still existed between them dissolved. Pleasure rushed through her as he possessed her tenderly. Feelings triumphed as they moved toward a single goal, savoring the release.

 

L
ONG MOMENTS PASSED
as they lay tangled together, their intertwined bodies exhausted, yet still eager for more. They had too little time alone, Rafferty thought fiercely. That was going to have to change.

He knew Jacey wasn't ready to deal with the ramifications of their coupling, but he couldn't keep pretending this was only a temporary fling, meant to stem the rising tide of estrogen and need within her. Not when he knew it was so much deeper.

The truth was, Jacey and her baby had brought him back to life.

He would always grieve the loss of his wife and child, but now he was ready to move on.

To experience love again. With Jacey.

He wanted to be more to her than what he was now—friend and part-time lover. A helluva lot more. And he sensed she wanted that, too, even if she wasn't quite ready to admit it.

In the meantime…

He rolled so she was on top of him and began to make love to her once again.

They had this.

“That's the fourth call you've had this morning,” Curly teased early Monday morning.

Jacey flushed and continued passing around a second round of buttermilk biscuits, crisp sausage patties and cream gravy—a stick-to-your-ribs breakfast the cowboys could never get enough of.

“I bet I know why they're calling the bunkhouse,” Stretch ventured.

“The other ranches want to steal Jacey away from us,” Gabby stated unhappily.

“You're getting offers for other chef jobs, aren't you?” Curly added.

Red looked upset. “Is that why the Broken Saddle Ranch called you?”

“I was hoping it was just for your potato-salad recipe,” Hoss said.

“And that chocolate-peppermint sheet cake,” Rafferty praised.

“You really did the Lost Mountain Ranch proud with the dishes you brought to the Christmas rodeo,” Eli said.

The eyes of every cowboy at the bunkhouse table mirrored the same sentiment.

“Thank you.” Jacey didn't know when she had received more compliments, or enjoyed her work so much. Which made the idea of going back to a property-management position all the less appealing. Puttering around the ranch kitchen, trying out new recipes, perfecting old ones, did not even feel like work. It felt like fun…Yet she knew she couldn't stay here and not fall even harder for the elusive rancher. And since she knew she needed love to be happy…

“So, are they trying to steal you away?” Stretch persisted.

Noting that Rafferty looked equally worried, Jacey waved off the concern of the cowboys. She tried not to wonder whether Rafferty was concerned about the loss of a chef or his secret lover. Or both. “I've had a few inquiries,” she admitted reluctantly. “I've told them I'm not interested in going to another ranch.”

A collective sigh of relief was heard. “Well, thank heavens for that,” Hoss said, patting his ample belly. “You've got us spoiled, Jacey.”

Another murmur of assent followed.

Guilt swept through her. Conflicted, she turned to Rafferty.

“I hate to break it to you, fellas,” he said, “but Jacey isn't going to be staying here indefinitely.”

Eli looked at Rafferty. “Unless one of us can convince her otherwise,” he said meaningfully.

Ignoring his father's less-than-subtle hint, Rafferty continued, “Jacey has been looking for another position in her field all along. She's even locked up an interview in Austin right after Christmas.”

Faces fell. The room reverberated with disappointment.

Rafferty was only speaking the truth. So why, Jacey wondered, did it suddenly feel as if she'd been stabbed in the heart? She plastered a reassuring smile on her face. “I told you-all the way it was from the beginning,” she reminded gently. “I only agreed to take this job through the Christmas holiday.”

“Yeah, b-but we figured…” Curly stammered, looking like a kid who'd just had his puppy taken away.

Suddenly, Jacey felt like crying, too. She told herself it was a natural reaction to disappointing people she had come to care deeply for. And not the prospect of leaving the only man who had ever made love to her as completely and thoroughly as Rafferty had. Physical passion…one-sided romantic love…was no reason to upend a life. Or trade a sophisticated existence in the city for down-home camaraderie on an isolated ranch—even if it was one of the most beautiful places on earth.

She looked at Rafferty, wishing once again he would rescue her.

Once again, it seemed an emotional wall was up between them, that he was hiding whatever it was he was feeling, from everyone close to him—including her.

“I think what the fellas are trying to say is, it's just not going to be the same around here without you,” Rafferty concluded matter-of-factly. And that, it seemed, was that.

 

“N
O DISRESPECT
, boss, but was that the best you can do?” Gabby demanded.

Hoss ripped out a damaged section of barbed wire. “Yeah. We don't want Jacey to leave.”

Curly hammered in a new metal fence post, to replace the one that had been bent. “She's the best thing that ever happened to this ranch.”

Red picked up debris. “Maybe you should offer her a big raise.”

“At the very least a huge Christmas bonus,” Stretch said, attaching wire to the post. “Chefs like her do not come along every day.”

They were telling him? Rafferty knew Jacey was one in a million. In so many ways that went far beyond her ability to wield a spatula and a frying pan. She brought energy and good cheer to every room she entered. The care she put into her cooking made everyone feel appreciated. Comforted. Like every day was worthwhile. For the first time in a long time, Rafferty found himself happy to get up in the morning, reluctant to go to bed.

“It's not that simple, guys,” he said finally.
I made love to her. Allowed myself to begin to depend on her, and let my feelings for her complicate a situation that should have remained simple….

“Then suppose you explain it to us,” Gabby said, looking irritated.

Rafferty went back to the pick-up truck for another roll of wire as a brisk December wind blew across the canyon. Briefly, he turned his attention to the granite mountain rising in the distance.

“She's a city girl,” he stated grimly, recalling what trouble that had gotten him into with Angelica. She'd given up her chosen profession, too, to be with him…and been miserable.

Curly yanked off his gloves and gulped down a bottle of water. “If you're talking about the fact Jacey didn't have the right clothes to wear at the Christmas rodeo, whose fault was that?” he asked.

Red agreed. “You didn't exactly give her much notice.”

“Yeah,” Hoss concurred. “She probably would have gone shopping for something more appropriate to wear if she'd known about it in advance.”

“Besides which, I thought she looked real pretty,” Stretch said.

“She does know how to two-step,” Curly added.

“Yeah. It was real sweet of her to honor each one of us with a dance,” Hoss said shyly.

Red complained, “Although some of us hogged her time and attention Saturday night.”

All eyes turned to Rafferty.

“Hey, can I help it if I'm a better dancer than the rest of you-all?” Rafferty said, trying to lighten the mood.

A harrumph echoed through the field.

“At least tell us you'll give her a better bonus and you'll give it to her early so she can get it in her head that it might be a good idea for her to stay on,” Stretch advised.

“Yeah. We really, really,
really
want her around, boss,” Curly said.

They weren't the only ones, Rafferty thought.

Unfortunately, Jacey had other ideas. When dinner was over, and Caitlin had been put down in her bassinet, Jacey asked to speak to him and his dad in the study.

They met her there. She brought a pot of decaf coffee and a plate of the homemade gingerbread cookies she had served the cowboys for dessert that evening. “First of all, I want you both to know I am not going to take a job with a competing ranch, or even consider one, no matter what the offer.”

Eli nodded. “We appreciate that.”

“Even as we realize,” Rafferty said, trying to be fair, “that it's a free market and you're entitled to go wherever you have the best opportunity.”

Jacey studied him briefly, no emotion readily identifiable in her eyes. She looked back at his dad. “I know that, but I just don't think it would be right, particularly when you took me in and gave me a job and a place to stay when I had no other options.”

“Just promise us you'll at least give us a chance to match any offer you would consider,” Eli said. “Because we realize you have a fiscal responsibility to your daughter and yourself.”

“I will.” Jacey avoided Rafferty's gaze and kept her attention solely on his father. “Although like I said, it's not going to be necessary, because I'm still looking for a job in my field. But until I do secure a property management job that feels right, I would like to stay on here, even as I try to find a suitable replacement for myself. Speaking of which, that's why I called you here. We had a number of applicants to our online ad over the weekend, and more today, and some of them are very interesting. I thought you might want to take a look at their résumés. See what you think.”

She handed Rafferty and Eli duplicate copies of twelve applicants.

“There were actually a few more, but I weeded them out. For instance, given the cowboys' reaction to Chinese takeout last week, I really didn't think a guy with seven years' experience in Asian eateries was a good match.”

Rafferty and Eli chuckled. “You're right there. It's Tex-Mex and southwestern-style comfort food all the way around here.”

Jacey relaxed slightly. “I'm thinking the best thing might be to invite at least a couple of the top contenders out to the ranch and let them cook a meal for the guys and see if it's a good fit. Only one of these people is available immediately, but this way, should that job I'm up for in Austin turn out to be a good fit, you would hopefully already have someone lined up. Even if the person you pick can't start till later.”

“When did you want to do this?” Eli asked.

Never, Rafferty thought fiercely.

Jacey smiled. “How about Wednesday—if I can get the guy who's available immediately to come out?”

 

R
AFFERTY WAITED
a decent interval of time, then tracked Jacey down in the kitchen, where she was shaping sugar-cookie dough into Christmas bells. Not sure how much time they would have to talk privately, he got straight to the point. “I thought you weren't all that interested in the Austin job.” He had taken great comfort in that.

Jacey inclined her head to one side. “When I called this morning to tell them that I didn't feel university students and a baby were a particularly good mix, they offered me a shot at something else in a high-rise across from the state capitol. The downside to that is the job isn't available until May first—]they just want something set up now.”

Rafferty wanted Jacey to succeed in whatever she did. He just didn't want to lose her in the process. He lounged against the counter where she was working. “Would you be able to take Caitlin to work with you?”

“No.” She wrapped the rolls of shaped dough in plastic and slid them into the refrigerator.

She lifted out a stainless-steel mixing bowl and carried it over to the counter.

“But since everything at that property is done by advance appointment and financial prescreening only, I should be able to get sitters to watch Caitlin when I'm meeting with residents. They said there is a lot of paper pushing with that job, and I could do all that at my leisure—in my apartment on my computer—as long as I get it done.”

Rafferty watched as she formed teaspoonsful of chilled chocolate dough into balls, and then dipped them in confectioner's sugar. “So you're going up there for an interview.”

Jacey arranged the cookie dough on a baking sheet. “On the twenty-sixth of December, yes.”

Rafferty studied the smudge of flour in her shiny brown hair. He erased the powder with the pad of his thumb. “Want company? Someone to watch over Caitlin while you interview?”

Jacey looked up at him, the air between them charged with all the things they had left unsaid the last time they had made love. Things she seemed no more eager to get into now. “Don't, Rafferty,” she said in a low voice. “This situation is complicated enough.”

It didn't have to be. Rafferty put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. He knew how it felt to be afraid the passion was too wonderful to last. He felt that way now. The difference was, he wasn't going to let his own uncertainty get in the way of what they could have, if only they were steadfast enough to stay the course.

“I want to be alone with you,” he told her.

She yearned for further intimacy, too. He could see it in her gaze, feel it in the response of her body next to his.

He lowered his head and their lips met. As if on cue, the baby monitor on the kitchen counter crackled. Caitlin let out a cry. She drew back as the single cry turned into a lusty yell. “I've got to nurse Caitlin. We'll talk more tomorrow…I promise.”

Only they didn't talk in the morning. About that, or anything else. Caitlin was unusually fussy and Jacey went off to tend to her while the men ate their breakfast buffet style.

When Rafferty walked into the bunkhouse that evening after his shower, the men were already gathered around Jacey and the baby, paying both the homage they deserved.

Rafferty watched from the fringes of the activity.

There was no denying it. Jacey and baby Caitlin had brought joy to the bunkhouse, the sense that with the two of them there, it would feel like Christmas all year-round. The only problem was, Rafferty mused, how to get them to stay on Lost Mountain Ranch for more than just another week. 'Cause when Jacey and Caitlin left, he knew it was going to feel as if his heart was breaking all over again.