A Baby's Cry (11 page)

Ava smiled appreciatively at Paula. ‘A doll’s house!’ she said. ‘That’s sounds fantastic. It’s a pity Paula has no one to play with, isn’t it, Ellie?’

It worked. Ellie slowly raised her head from Ava’s skirt and, reaching out, took hold of Paula’s hand. Then, concentrating on the ground, she allowed Paula to lead her over the doorstep and into the hall. Ava breathed a sigh of relief as I silently and quickly closed the front door.

‘The doll’s house is in my bedroom,’ Paula said, holding Ellie’s hand and leading her up the stairs.

‘Why don’t you go up too for a minute?’ I said to Ava. ‘Paula won’t mind and it will help reassure Ellie.’

Ava followed Paula and Ellie up the stairs as Adrian said to me: ‘Can I go and play in the garden?’

‘Yes, of course.’ He’d met Ava and Ellie and wouldn’t want to play doll’s houses with the two girls. Like many boys his age Adrian always found something to amuse himself within the garden even if he didn’t have anyone to play with.

Adrian let himself out of the back door as I checked on Harrison, who was dozing in his bouncing cradle in the sitting room. Then I went into the kitchen, where I filled the kettle, guessing Ava would appreciate a drink. She appeared downstairs a few minutes later just as the kettle was boiling.

‘Well timed,’ I said. ‘Would you like a tea or a coffee?’

‘Tea would be lovely. Thanks.’ Ava sighed gratefully. ‘Paula’s doing a good job. Ellie has stopped crying and is playing. Sorry about all that.’

‘Don’t worry. It’s only natural that Ellie will have some worries about coming here and leaving you.’ Then I suddenly realized that Ava didn’t have her sons with her. ‘You didn’t bring your boys?’

‘No, they had a last-minute invitation to play at a friend’s house. I’ll collect them later.’

I made the tea and carried it through to the sitting room, where Ava fussed over Harrison, who was now awake, before sitting down.

‘What am I going to do tomorrow if Ellie is like she was earlier?’ Ava asked, worried again. ‘I can’t take her with me and I have to go to my brother’s family. They desperately need some help.’

‘I think Ellie will be far less worried tomorrow now she’s seen our house and has met us. Before you go today we’ll show her around so that she can see her bedroom and ask any questions she might have. And tomorrow when she stays she’ll have her own things with her, which will help.’

‘But supposing she’s still very upset?’ Ava persisted anxiously.

‘Then I’ll cuddle her until she recovers,’ I said. ‘Try not to worry. I’ve looked after lots of children, short and long term. She’ll be fine. Has Jill suggested you phone mid-week to speak to her?’

‘Yes, I’ll do that.’

‘Good. I’ll keep Ellie busy and the week will fly by.’

‘Thank you so much,’ Ava said gratefully, and finally sipped her tea. ‘We’ve had rather a rough time recently,’ she confided. ‘My brother was diagnosed with cancer in March and then Ellie arrived a week later, having been abused by her mother and her boyfriend. She didn’t say much to begin with but now the flood-gates have opened she keeps telling me new things. It’s dreadful. Driving here she suddenly asked me if you had any kitchen knives. I said I thought you would have, but as at my house they would be kept safely.’

‘That’s right,’ I said. ‘The kitchen knives can’t be reached by children. Why did Ellie ask you that?’

‘That’s what I asked her. She went quiet, as she does when she’s about to tell me something bad. Then she said her mum had a big kitchen knife and Shane – that’s the mother’s boyfriend – used to hold it to her mother’s throat and then cut her mother’s arm with it. I mean, I ask you! What sort of people are they? I don’t know why Ellie should suddenly think of that now.’

‘It could have been triggered by feeling a bit insecure about coming here,’ I said.

Ava nodded. ‘I’ll have to write what she said in my log notes when I get home and tell Jill.’

I nodded. ‘And if Ellie makes any disclosures while she’s staying with me I’ll do the same and also update you.’

‘Thanks, Cathy. There’s more to this fostering than my husband and I ever thought.’

‘I know,’ I smiled. ‘Looking after the child is only part of it. But you enjoy fostering?’

‘Oh yes, and we love Ellie already. Goodness knows how we’ll ever say goodbye.’

‘That’s one of the hardest parts of fostering,’ I said. ‘Having to say goodbye.’

Ava and I continued talking – mainly about fostering – while we finished our tea, and Adrian played in the garden and the girls played upstairs. Then after about half an hour Ava said, ‘Well, I suppose we’d better be going now. Jill said to keep this visit short. Is it all right if I bring Ellie tomorrow at ten o’clock?’

‘Yes, that’s fine with me. Let’s show Ellie around the house before you go.’

Not wishing to leave Harrison unattended in the bouncing cradle for any length of time, I scooped him up in my arms and then led the way out of the sitting room and down the hall, with Harrison gurgling at Ava over my shoulder and Ava making ‘baby noises’ to him as Jill had. Upstairs we went into Paula’s room, where the girls had finished playing with the doll’s house and were now looking at a book together.

‘Time to go, love,’ Ava said gently to Ellie. Ellie obediently stood and came to Ava’s side. ‘Thanks for looking after Ellie,’ Ava said to Paula. Paula smiled.

‘I’m going to show Ellie and Ava around the house,’ I said to Paula. ‘Are you coming too?’

Paula nodded; she was used to helping me show foster children around the house, whether they were staying for a few days or indefinitely, and it was important she felt included. Paula joined me at the bedroom door and the two of us led the way round the landing to what would be Ellie’s bedroom for the week she stayed.

‘This is where you will sleep,’ Paula explained.

‘This is nice, isn’t it, Ellie?’ Ava enthused.

Ellie gave a small nod and then took hold of a clump of Ava’s skirt again as insecurity reasserted itself.

‘I know you like to sleep with your bedroom light on,’ I reassured Ellie. ‘And you’ll be bringing your favourite toys with you and your own clothes.’ Which might not have been obvious to Ellie, as it was the first time she’d stayed away from Ava overnight.

Ellie didn’t say anything. She held on to Ava’s skirt as Paula and I led the way to Adrian’s room, where I opened the door, and they both glanced in. Then we continued round to the bathroom and to my bedroom.

‘This is where I sleep,’ I said to Ellie. ‘So if you wake in the night you know where to find me. I always leave a landing light on, so the house is never dark.’

‘That’s good, isn’t it, Ellie?’ Ava said encouragingly. ‘Cathy’s house is very similar upstairs to our house, isn’t it?’ But Ellie wasn’t impressed.

We went downstairs and Paula and I showed Ellie and Ava the front room; then we went down the hall. I was going to turn right to show them the kitchen but Ellie stopped and pulled on Ava’s skirt. Clearly Ellie didn’t want to go into the kitchen and I wondered if it had anything to do with the kitchen knives that had been used to terrorize her mother. Who knew what pictures of abuse Ellie carried in her head?

There was no need for Ellie to see the kitchen, so we went straight into the sitting room instead. ‘Look at this lovely garden,’ Ava said to Ellie, encouraging her to go over to the French windows. ‘There’s Adrian. You’ll be able to play outside too on a fine day.’

Ellie, still holding Ava’s skirt, gave a small nod but I saw her bottom lip tremble. Although Ellie was finding her visit difficult now she would have felt far more insecure and frightened had she just arrived the following morning without a preliminary visit and therefore completely unfamiliar with our house.

I opened the French windows and called to Adrian: ‘Ellie and Ava are going now.’

He looked up from the sandpit, where he was filling a dumper truck with sand, and gave a little wave. ‘Bye,’ he called.

‘Goodbye, Adrian,’ Ava called brightly. ‘See you tomorrow.’

Ellie didn’t say anything but Harrison, still in my arms, gurgled happily. Paula and I then saw Ava and Ellie to the front door, where Ava thanked me again for agreeing to look after Ellie.

‘You’re welcome,’ I said, and then to Ellie: ‘We’re all looking forward to you coming tomorrow.’ But I could tell from Ellie’s face she certainly wasn’t.

I closed the front door and thanked Paula for her help, although I noticed she was now looking very serious too.

‘Are you all right?’ I asked.

‘Mum,’ she said frowning, ‘Ellie said something really strange to me while we were playing. It was horrible.’

‘What?’ I asked, alarm bells ringing.

‘She asked if we had a cupboard under the stairs,’ Paula said. ‘I said yes but it wasn’t interesting. It just had junk in it. Then Ellie asked me if you ever shut me in there when I had been naughty. I said, “No, of course not.” Then she said that’s what happened at her mother’s house.’

Paula (and Adrian) had heard other children we’d fostered disclose abuse and both children knew they had to tell me at the first opportunity.

‘I’m pleased you told me,’ I said. ‘That was the right thing to do. Ellie was treated very badly at home. Ava told me Ellie’s scared of the dark because she was shut in a dark cupboard. That could also explain why she didn’t want to go into the kitchen,’ I added, thinking aloud. ‘You have to go past the cupboard under the stairs to go into the kitchen. I thought she was staring at that cupboard when she refused to see the kitchen.’

‘It’s horrible to shut someone in a dark cupboard,’ Paula said, her brow creasing. ‘Poor little Ellie.’

‘Yes. And it’s possible that when Ellie stays she may tell you other things that have happened to her. It’s important you tell me so that Ellie can be helped to overcome what has happened to her,’ I reminded her.

‘I know,’ Paula said, and then asked thoughtfully. ‘Mum, why do some parents hurt their children when they are supposed to love them?’

‘I wish I knew,’ I sighed. I looked at Paula, so innocent, and like any child brought up in a normal loving family was unable to comprehend a parent hurting their child. Obviously I told off Paula (and Adrian) sometimes and occasionally got annoyed, just as most parents do, but that’s a far cry from intentionally harming or scaring a child.

‘Sometimes the parents were treated badly when they were children,’ I offered, ‘and they don’t understand it’s wrong.’ But of course most adults who were abused as children do not go on to abuse their own children – just the opposite, in fact: aware that bad things can and do happen they go to great lengths to protect and cherish their children and keep them safe.

‘I hope Ellie doesn’t tell me any more bad things,’ Paula said, as we went down the hall and to the garden. ‘It makes me sad.’

‘I know, love. I hope so too.’

Chapter Twelve

A Demon Exorcized

T
he following morning Adrian, Paula and I were up, showered and dressed in plenty of time for Ellie’s arrival at ten o’clock. Harrison, or Harry as Paula always called him, had had his bottle and was awake in his bouncing cradle in the sitting room. I was finding that the periods during the day when he was awake were growing longer and that when he was awake he was alert and interested in everything around him. There’d been no further sighting of the woman in the street and, to be honest, my thoughts had been taken up with the busy end of term and now preparing for (and worrying about) Ellie’s stay.

When the doorbell rang at 10.05 I asked Adrian, who was doing a puzzle in the sitting room, if he could watch Harrison while Paula came with me to answer the door, ‘in case Ellie needs persuading to come in’, I said.

But to my great relief when I opened the door Ellie wasn’t crying; indeed she managed to look at me and even raised a tiny smile for Paula.

‘Hi. Good to see you again,’ I said, as Paula stepped forward and took Ellie’s hand.

‘And you,’ Ava said. ‘We’ve had a good morning so far.’ So I guessed Ellie hadn’t been too upset as they’d left home.

Ellie was holding a pretty glittering Cinderella bag while Ava was carrying a suitcase. ‘That’s a lovely bag,’ I said to Ellie as they came into the hall. Ellie gave a small shy nod.

‘There’s a purse in her bag,’ Ava said, putting down the suitcase. ‘Ellie has some spending money and there are also some sweets in the bag. She just has a couple of sweets a day after her dinner. She’s very good about rationing herself.’

‘We’ll do the same here,’ I said, smiling at Ellie. I moved the suitcase to one side in the hall out of the walkway, to unpack later.

‘I’ve written down Ellie’s routine etc.,’ Ava said, handing me a sheet of A4 paper. It’s usual to give the respite carer a résumé of the child’s routine; details of any medication the child might be taking; food preferences including special dietary requirements; allergies; doctor’s and social worker’s contact details; and anything else the carer might need to look after the child.

‘Would you like a quick cup of coffee?’ I offered.

‘No, thank you,’ Ava said. ‘I’ll say goodbye. I’m going straight to the station. Bob, my husband, is looking after the boys for the weekend and then taking them to my sister’s tomorrow evening.’

‘I hope your brother’s a little better,’ I said. ‘And please don’t worry about Ellie. She’ll be fine with us.’

‘Thank you, Cathy. I’ll phone mid-week. Ellie’s contact is on Wednesday,’ Ava reminded me. ‘I’ve put the time on the sheet.’

I nodded. As Ava now bent forward to hug and kiss Ellie goodbye, Ellie dropped Paula’s hand and threw her arms around Ava’s neck, hugging and kissing her for all she was worth. In the four months Ellie had lived with Ava she had clearly built up a strong bond with her and I could see there was a lot of affection from Ava for Ellie as well. After a few moments Ava slowly drew away and straightened, while not letting go of Ellie’s hands. ‘Now I want you to be a big brave girl when I go,’ Ava said, standing in front of Ellie and looking her in the eyes. ‘A week isn’t a long time, so I would like a nice smile when you wave me off at the door. Do you think you can do that for me?’