A Beautiful Struggle (19 page)

“Is that the last of your exams?”

I sighed, “Yes, thank goodness. Then no
more uni until February next year.”

“Good, then we can celebrate. How about I
take you out next Saturday night? Bring your stuff on Friday and stay here for
the weekend. I’ll take you home Sunday afternoon.”

“I’d like that,” I told him, playing with
his hair so it was sticking up. I reached down and then dragged my nails up his
back, causing shivers to run down his spine. He hummed his contentment, griping
when I stopped and tapped him on the shoulder, asking him to hop up.

He groaned unhappily as he rolled off me,
“We don’t get enough time!” he complained.

“We’ll get more time next weekend,” I said
as I stood up and gathered my toiletries bag, “I need to shower, will you drive
me to the station after breakfast?”

“I’ll drive you to your car again,” he told
me.

“Elliot, it’s too much petrol; I am fine on
the train.”

“No, I’m not just fucking you and dumping
you at the train station. This is supposed to be a relationship. I want to
drive you; I want to spend a bit more time with my girlfriend,” he said
indignantly.

“Alright, you can drive me,” I soothed,
trying not to react to being called his girlfriend; a smile played at the edge
of my lips none the less.

I turned and walked into the bathroom,
turning on the shower to wait for it to warm up.

“Do you want me to wash your back?” he called
from the bedroom.

“No thank you. I'll never get home if we
start that again!” I called back teasingly.

 “That’s the point,” he said, appearing at
the door, reaching out and pulling me towards him.

***

Two hours later we were on the road back to
Penrith. I didn’t feel as though our bubble was bursting this time, we talked
comfortably with each other, touching when we could and making plans to
continue training together at lunch times so we could still see each other
during the week. Now that David wasn’t having lunch with me; Mondays could be
used for training as well.

“Aren’t you worried that someone will see
us training together and figure something is up?” I asked him.

“No,” he said simply.

“Why not? Someone could see us outside the
office, and not just training – they could see us, like, now; in the car
together or they could have seen us outside the parking garage on Friday.”

“Katrina, the only people we have to worry
about are the gossips of the office, and they’re too busy on Friday nights drinking
and, well, gossiping – and the same goes for lunch times. Besides, there’s no
rule that says we can’t be seen together, we just can’t be seen to be dating.
So don’t worry, if Andrew and Carmen can wander around holding hands the moment
they step out of the office, I think we can safely train together and kiss in a
parking garage.”

“Yes, but Andrew isn’t you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked
looking genuinely confused.

“Jesus, Elliot, look in the mirror! The
women at the office salivate over you.”

He let out a small chuckle, “I don’t think
it’s that bad.”

“You’re not the one who copped the evil
eyes when we were busted on the wharf. Believe me, you could snap your fingers
at any woman in that office, and they’d undress for you.”

He shuddered like his skin was crawling,
“Uh, don’t say that - there’s some pretty scary ladies in that office.”

I took that as a challenge and started
filling his mind with images of some of the less desirable women waiting for
him around corners and throwing themselves at him.

“Great, now I’m going to have nightmares,”
he said half teasingly as he pulled up in a parking space close to my car.

“Well, I can’t leave you like that,” I said
seductively, as I climbed over the centre console and onto his lap.

“What are you doing?” he asked, a slight
nervous edge to his voice.

“Altering your dream,” I murmured,
capturing his mouth in mine, kissing him fervidly, my fingers entwined in his
hair as I pulled him closer.

Rocking my hips so we were rubbing up
against each other, I could feel his arousal pressing solidly against my own.
He moaned and reached down to slide the seat back, giving us more room.

He started to brush soft kisses down my
neck and across my chest, massaging my breasts with his hands through my
clothes. He rocked his hips up and pressed his erection firmly between my legs,
“Oh god, do you see what you do to me? I don’t think I can let you out of this
car,” he growled.

I smiled mischievously at him as I reached
down to release him from the confines of his pants, pulling my panties to the
side to take his length inside me. We both let out a long steady breath as I
lowered myself over him, locking eyes while I slowly moved in his lap.

We moved carefully together, luxuriating in
our continued closeness and watching as our own desire was mirrored in the
others face. When he came I clenched my muscles against his spasms and kept on
moving, knowing my own orgasm was ready to explode at any moment. As I erupted
I pulled his head to my chest and held him tightly, while he held my hips down
and pushed us together as deeply as we could manage. It was as if we were
trying to meld together somehow. 

Letting out a calming breath he murmured,
“So I guess you’re not worried about anyone from work seeing us here then.”

I laughed through my nose and kissed him,
“No, not at all.”

I reached into my handbag for some tissues
to put between my legs so we could separate and moved back into the passenger
seat.

He looked around for a moment and rested
his head back in his chair, watching me closely, a bewildered expression on his
face.

“What?” I asked.

He shook his head slightly, “It’s just you,
you get me doing things I wouldn’t normally do.”

I shrugged modestly, “It’s a god given
talent,” I opened the door and got out, turning to him before I closed it,
“I’ll see you Monday.”

He nodded, giving me a smouldering look
that made me want to jump back into his lap again. It took some will power but
I got into my car and waved my goodbye as I started to drive home, slipping out
of the bubble that encapsulated us when we were together.

***

When I walked through the door, I was
greeted by silence, my parents had obviously gone out, most likely to have
lunch together, and my brother was, god only knows where. I dropped my bag on
the floor in my room and flopped down on to my bed, exhausted after not
sleeping much last night.

I was woken by the sound of the doorbell a
couple of hours later. As I trudged to the door half asleep, the person waiting
started knocking insistently. “I’m coming!” I called out, feeling irritated.

Looking through the peephole, I could see
David standing on the porch, “Come on Katrina, let me in. I can hear you
breathing on the other side of the door.”

I was both excited and nervous when I
opened it, “Are you going to have a go at me again?” I asked him
trepidatiously.

He laughed through his nose and shook his
head, “No, I just want to talk to you,” he said, and I stepped aside to allow
him through.

I led him to the family room, where we sat
facing each other on the couch, “So… what do you want to talk about?” I asked,
searching his face for his current state of mind.

He gave little away, “I just had a very
interesting conversation,” he started.

When he didn’t continue I urged, “and?”

“Elliot came to visit me.”

“He what?”

“He said he got my number from Carmen - he
called me and asked if he could come and have a chat with me.”

I sat watching his handsome face struggle
with something before he spoke again, “I want to say I’m sorry Katrina. He's
not as bad as I thought he was.”

“What? That’s all you’re going to tell me -
what did you talk about, what did he say?”

“All we talked about was you and how
important you are to both of us. I guess we kind of have… an understanding
now.”

“Did he tell you he hasn’t slept with Beth?”

“Yes he did.”

“Did you believe him?”

“I did.”

“Ok, well – where does this leave us?” I
asked hopefully.

“I don’t know Katrina.”

“But…I need you David. You’re my best
friend,” it came out almost as a hoarse whisper, laced with tears that were
threatening to spill from my eyes as I feared the worst.

He sighed and took my hand in his, and
spoke to it instead of me. “When Christopher hurt you, it made me realise how…
important, you were to me – are to me. I just didn’t realise that seeing you
move on from him would be this hard to handle. I know I’m being selfish, but I
don’t think I can handle you dating anymore Katrina. It’s like I’m petrified
something is going to happen to you again, and I’m not going to be able to stop
it this time. That thought; it makes me so angry. And while I’m angry, I’m not
worried. Either way I feel horrible whenever I see or think about you with him,
with anyone - and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“I don’t understand, are you saying we
can’t go back to being friends like we were only a week ago? I miss you David.
I'm lonely without you!” I could feel myself shaking, so scared that whatever
was happening between us couldn’t be fixed.

“Listen, I’m glad that you’re with someone
like Elliot. He really does seem like a decent guy. But, I’m struggling here
Trina. It’s hard for me to be around you.”

“David – what is this? I feel like you’re
breaking up with me,” tears were now brimming in my eyes, and it was taking all
of my self-control not to let them spill out.

“I just need time to sort out my head
Katrina,” he told me as he stood up, releasing my hand. He leaned down and
kissed the top of my head, “We’re still friends. It's just different now -
that’s all.” With that, he left, once again taking my happiness with him.

***

“How are things with Elliot?” my mother
asked me as I helped her put the groceries she had come home with away.

“They’re pretty great. It's wonderful when
we’re together, and we get along so well - ” I let the sentence hang in the
air.

“But?” my mother prompted me.

“But everything else in my life seems to be
turning to shit as a consequence.” My mother looked at me, patiently waiting.
She had been making such and effort not to ask too many questions lately, and
it had really improved our relationship.

It had improved so much that I poured my
heart out to her and shared all of my troubles, something I haven’t done in a
long time. I told her about David’s reaction to me and Elliot, and the fact
that he seemed to be dating one of the two bitchiest women from my office, and
I told her the way they treated me when David wasn’t around.

“I can see what you mean,” my mother said
as I finished, “I suppose the thing with you, and Christopher was really hard
on David, so I can understand he’s upset. I just don’t understand why he is
letting it affect your friendship so much.

“Is there something about Elliot that
you’re not telling me? Is that why David is so upset?”

“No mum, Elliot is a good guy – David even
said so himself.”

“Unless - ” my mother said thoughtfully.

“Unless what, mum?”

She shook her head, “Oh nothing. I'm sure
it will all work out in the end.”

“I hope so mum, because I hate not talking
to him and seeing him all the time. It just feels so – wrong – when he’s not
around, you know?”

My mum gave me a tight hug and assured me
that things would get better in time. I thanked her for listening to me and
went into my room to study for the exam I had on Thursday for one of my
humanities subjects. David wouldn’t be there this time, so I would actually
manage to complete this one.

***

I wasn’t at work for long on Monday morning
when my internal line rang. I answered it with my usual greeting, smiling when
I heard Elliot’s voice rumble down the line.

“I need you to hear something,” he said to
me.

“Ok, what is it?” I asked intrigued.

“Just give me a minute, I’m going to set
the phone down. Ok?”

“Ok…” I could hear the clunk of the
receiver as he put it down on his desk as well as the movement of his chair.

I was wondering what he could possibly want
me to hear when he said, “Beth, can I see you in my office please?”

I held my breath as I heard him take his
seat and tell Beth to take a seat as well.

“What can I do for you Elliot?” she asked
politely.

He cleared his throat, “Beth, it’s been
brought to my attention that you may have been exaggerating your relationship
with me.”

His statement was met with silence, and I
could only imagine the look on Beth’s face.